My goodness, is that sunny? Sunny? Thank you for the wonder in your face. During one of our interviews, I surprised Raffie with a special guest. Oh ma, look this is Sunny. Hi, Hi is sunny. And who else? My wife val joined too. It's so wonderful to meet you. Pleasure her entire life. She's been listening to you, Raffie. At this moment. Through the screen, I see a version of Raffie that I haven't really seen up close before. I wish I could hold her. Oh, that would be the best to lovely. Look at Look at how alert and awake she is. Wow. He transforms into Raffie the children's entertainer, and he pulls out all the stops. Thanks so Lord, thanks for their sun in the sky. He sings, he talks in silly voices, he barks like a dog. He's in his element, and I can't help but think about how he never had kids of his own. It's everyone's personal choice, really, you know. In my case, my albums felt like my kids. The amount of labor or the effort, you know, taking care of them as they as they came into the world. Even though Rappie didn't raise his own kids in a way he raised us. So many people associate him with their favorite childhood memories. But is that enough? You know, are you only just going to remember me for my six little ducks and apples and bananas and baby bug? Or are you going to look at the rest of my life as well? Are you going to look at my second career, my child honoring work. What about my thirty years as a climate activist? Will you take a look at where all this music and you know, advocacy, activism was coming from. What what was it about? Will you see the coherence in it? The Earth and Child link. I'm Chris Garcia and this is Finding Raffie, a ten part series from My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch about the life, philosophy, and the work of Raffie, the man behind the music. For the last two years, Raffie, who's seventy three, has been writing out the pandemic at home on a small island off the coast of Vancouver with his dog Luna. No concerts, not much socializing. If you're looking for Raffie, your best bet is Twitter. He's super active there promoting his organization, the Raffie Foundation for child honoring and expressing his thoughts on all sorts of things, climate change, vaccines, fascism, and the war on Ukraine. In a recent tweet, he called the war genocidal and referred to Vladimir Putin's actions as one man's evil epic harm in Russia and beyond. But he also life tweets ice hockey games and shares pictures of the sunrise. And he's still making music, still writing songs with a message. Don't people marching striking for climate black lives matter? Of course they matter. Lack loves matter to me in this time of turning, this time of yearning feel the way of democracy. For someone who has spent a lifetime connecting with people, I imagine the isolation has been especially hard and it's given him ample time to think, especially about how he wants to be remembered. Here's my producer Andrea, asking him about that. What do you hope your legacy is. I've been toying with the idea of asking my fans how they would celebrate my passing. It's not a question that one would lightly put to one's fans. If one day you hear on the news celebrated children's entertainer Raphie has passed away at the age of blah blah blah from whatever melody was right. I imagine there would be a couple of days of outpourings of love from fans, you know how it is that you hear in media and so on, and then life goes on as it should. It's just the way things are right. And what I've been wondering is, and I hope that you can sense this isn't my ego speaking. What I'm wondering is if tens of millions of people have my music living in their hearts and minds in a profound way. You know, those people who say that my music was the soundtrack of their childhood, and that they're younger hearing it still every day from a very young age in their formative years. So my question is, might there be a way of a It's an emotional question. Might there be a way of guiding or or a way of conspiring together how my passing might be held in the hearts of minds of people so as to move them to make the bold choices towards planetary survival in the climate emergency age, towards sustainability and restoration of ecosystems and the ecosystems on which our lives depend on this beleaguered planet. Is there a way that my passing conserve a greater purpose than just saying some nice things to me, you know, uh in public for a couple of days. That's kind of what I'm asking. Of course, I can't answer Raphael's question. I want to, but I can't. And what strikes me the most when hearing him contemplate his legacy, is that this is a man looking back on a life, a full life, a meaningful life, and he's will never stopped wondering can I do more? It was almost fifty years ago when Ralphie started making music for kids, and since then, generations of his fans have passed his music down to their children. Ralphie calls them Beluga grads, kind of like Jimmy Buffett and his parrot heads. I came across a variety of them, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, poet Leopoldine, core filmmaker Sean k rob and Chris Hayes of MSNBC. There's a specific genius required in adults who make stuff the kids love, and he has it clearly you get older and then you have your own kids, and lo and behold you find that Baby Beluga is still absolutely slaps as the kids say, I could be like unconscious and be reciting, you know, Baby Beluga. Mina Harris is a Beluga grad to. She's a lawyer, activists, children's book author, and founder of the fashion and entertainment company Phenomenal. Shake my silly is out, apples and bananas will be all be woo um down by the bay. Oh my god, we're seeing that in our house so much. And I think Raphy's adult fans, those who are sharing his music with their own children, like Chris and Mina, they have something in common similar parenting values. It's really about, you know, respecting children right, respecting their big ideas, their their feelings, and really understanding and appreciating that they're quite capable and insightful. Talk about your feelings, talk about when you're sad, don't bottle things up inside, listen, be kind, reach out to people, enjoy word play and funny jokes and rhymes, and be curious about the world. And all those values are like to me really enduring the way I was raised and the way that we're definitely you know, trying to raise our own kids. Is that you know, you don't baby them, right, We don't sugarcoat things. We never had a kiddie table in my house, right, Like you sat at the dinner table and you were expected to, you know, yes, listen and learn, and if you had a contribution to make, to do that and you know, to have a well supported argument and to you know, be ready to have a conversation engaging you know, kids in that right and not assuming that you know, they can't understand or they can't make some sort of contribution. You know. I think his contribution as well is really about, you know, helping kids to sort of process and embrace this complicated world, but doing so with joy and and positivity. Yeah, you know, I've always loved Raffe's music growing up. Loved his albums, all of his songs, but Baby Blugo was extra special. I loved that song. Lindsay Monroe isn't just a Raffe fan. She's also a children's musician. I am kind. I'll be your friend, will you be mine? I can share a smile. I am kind. When they first met, Rafi encouraged Lindsay to write a song for kids like her children, Jack, Emma and mem who all have autism. So I went home and I wrote I Am Kind, which is the title song to my first album. I was so nervous to share it with him. I thought, Oh, my goodness, I don't know if this is any good. You know, he's such a children's music icon. But I sent him the song and he loved it, and from there he just encouraged me to keep writing. I Am Brave, I do it feel afraid I can do the hard things. After Rapie heard the song, he signed Lindsay to Troubadour. She's the only other artist on his label. I think that while I do right with narrow diverse kids and families in mind, I really do right for all children. I try to have a message, like a social story in my songs. Uh For example, on my newest album, I have a song called flexible and easy Going. And while you know my neurodiverse family certainly needs that reminder to always be flexible in all situations and easy going, I think that all children really could benefit from that reminder. So my music is for everyone. Although I write with autistic children in mind, I feel myself getting upset, and I remember not to fret. Those things can change without me knowing. But I could be flexible in need see going, Yeah, I can be flexible in need. Ze Going. Music really activates like both the left and right atmospheres of your brain, and it's it's a good way to help really remember a lesson and really um internalize it. So I think that in singing about these things, the melody sticks in your head and you sing it to yourself throughout the day, and it's a great way to remember the message that the song is carrying. Yeah, I could be flexible in need. Lindsay is clearly an extension of Raffi's musical tradition, and by signing her to Troubadour, producing her albums and collaborating with her, it feels like Raffie is giving her his seal of approval that Lindsay and other artists like her are what Raffi wants the future of children's music to be. But Raffie and lindsay style of music isn't at the forefront of the genre anymore. Children's music has blown up since Raffie came into the picture in the seventies, and that singer songwriter vibe is up against the massive Disney machine, huge hit makers like Pink Fong, Congratulations You Know Have Baby Sharks Stuck in Your Head, and the behea myth known as Coco Melon, among so many others. Rafie continues to push for a more child centric and non commercial path in children's entertainment, and Lindsay is the perfect person to follow in Raphy's footsteps. But she just has her own natural songwriting style which I love and love to support. I think she has an important voice and the niche of kindness and caring that now hopefully we can spread through this music, because we sure needed in our society. Talking with his fans, learning about what they've gone on to do, who they've gone on to be. I can see Raffie's legacy in action. It may not lead to the elimination of fossil fuels or a world without conflict, but his life's work is evident in the day to day, around the kitchen table, at singalongs and at bedtime. It's a good start when your goal is to heal the world. Since last June, Raffie and I have been getting to know each other. I read his autobiography I've listened to his music and watched his specials, and of course we've had several video interviews where we've dug really deep. I don't know if you know this about me, but one of the things I'm known for, other than talking about my Cuban American heritage and about growing up between two cultures, is that I performed as my father was dying and um my father had Alzheimer's for about ten years, and and it was it was devastating. I performed hours after I found out that my dad only had a couple of days left to live. And as an artist and creative person and a person who wears my heart on my sleeve, I had to go out and I had to perform. So when I was reading your book and I found out that you were you were touring, when you learned that your parents were seriously ill, like, what was what was that like for you? Well, I, you know, lived on the West Coast. They were in Toronto, and I had concerts to do. I took my responsibility to my fans, of course, seriously, and I tried to do whatever I could while balancing flying to Toronto whenever possible to look in on both my father and my mother in their final weeks. I couldn't know that it was their final weeks, but I you know, I knew I had to see them as often as I could, so I really took the time to do that. Ralphie opens his autobiography with the death of his parents. He writes about his mother, Lucy's diagnosis inoperable abdominal cancer. In their final days, Lucy and Ralphie's father Ardo, we're both hospitalized. Ralphie visited them frequently, but he didn't make it home in time to say a final goodbye. Lucy and Artokavukian died on Thursday October, within twelve hours of each other. What did you learn about yourself after your parents died? It's too broad a question. I'm sorry, You're right, it is very it's too broad of a question. There's so much to unpack an event like that. Well, what aspect of it? Am I going to speak to it? In this moment? Like, I mean, sure I remember a lot, but like, what would you have me say? Your father passes and you're you're suddenly a changed human being? Both my parents passed on the same day. That was the That's what the stunning event was was that I was suddenly without either parents, and that's there's no preparation for that. So I did my best. I started writing my autobiography, is what I did. I felt it was the end of an era. Well, you you dedicated your autobiography to them, of course, and you spent a lot of your life trying to understand your childhood and your relationship with them. Did you feel closer to an understanding after they passed? After you were in the Your understanding of my understanding of both my parents and my life with them, you know, was something that grew and evolved over the decades, and after they passed, that process kept on happening. Of course. You know, I understood better perhaps why they tried so hard to keep the Armenian heritage alive in my life, you know. But it principally I was filled with the longing that came out of the love I had for them and the love that they had for me. I was clearly missing them terribly, and it's unlike any other experience in life to lose one's parents, and I am. I was glad to have an autobiography to write. Actually, now that I think of it, that was a wonderful way of remembering them, remembering their stories. I wanted to pay respect to their life experience even as I wrote about mine, because their life experience was formative for me, not only as a young child, but in my adolescence and adulthood. So hopefully I did some of that justice. In the book, you write about reconnecting with your Armenian heritage and finding a box full of artwork and textbooks after your parents died. What can you tell me what you found and what that was like. There were books of Armenian paintings, master painters that and a little note from my mother saying too, Raffie from from Lucy with love, and so, you know, very touching and it was very moving. These were the gifts you know that I inherited, souvenirs from my parents life are cherished part of my memories and they they are in my home now and they nourish me. What happens after our parents die is that we change our relationship with them, as we must, because that relations and ship now is in our minds and hearts. So we bring meaning to the past relationship with them by the new reflections and contemplations of what it felt like to be their offspring, and what we might have wanted in this way or that way that we didn't possibly get. We're making meaning of the past as we rolled it into the future of a relationship that exists in our memory of who these people were. It's a beautiful process if you think about it. Before my dad's death, the month of February was just a regular ass month. M Now it's biblical. My dad was born on February four and died on February seventy five years later. Then last year, the month became even more loaded because Sonny was born on February six. The lead up to her birth was already a roller coaster of emotions, and that day, February six, should have been the best day of my life, but it wasn't, because that was the day I almost lost my wife m After Sunny was born, Val and I were overjoyed, crying happy tears. But then Val started losing color and losing a lot of blood, and that beautiful moment turned terrifying. The staff at the birthing center had to call nine one one, and Val was rushed to the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would ever see her again, and I was left with our baby, a brand new little girl I didn't want to name, just in case I had to name her. Val At that moment, I remembered the story my aunt told me on a trip to Cuba. I told the story to my producer Andrea during the anniversary week last month. When I went to Cuba and talk to my aunt, my dad's sister. She told me that my dad was born feet first and almost killed his mom and because of that, his dad resented him the rest of his life. But my dad's dad was shitty to him because of the effect he had on his mom. And in that moment, knowing that that would be possible, I knew that I wouldn't do it to Sunny in case whatever happened. They don't really tell you how close death is to birth, but every time, it's like so precarious, you know. And it was the most frightening day of and the saddest day, Like I would say, it's I'd never known a deep sadness and feel like that since my dad. But none of that came in the way of how I was much. I was going to love this little girl, you know, because I know my dad had a shitties childhood and I never knew why, but the way my aunt explained it, it seemed like it was it stemmed from the first moment he walked into this earth and having a complicated birth with his mom, And I'm like, I don't care about that. I'm going to love her beyond this. It almost felt like I was gonna love her for my dad and of course for her everybody. Oh my god, no, Sunny. Yeah. This February we celebrated Sunny's first birthday. The year has been filled with sleepless nights and tremendous joys, and I got to see Sunny grow from the sweet, squishy, little baby blob to a kid who's got personality and sass and the best smile in the world. Yeah, aside from face masks and changing diapers, a few things in the last year have been a constant for me. But for the last nine months, I've all so had Raffi. It's been both beautiful and strange to know that there's a man in Western Canada that I could talk to you about music, childhood, parenting, and our pasts, a man beloved by generations of children, teachers, and parents. But I got to know, not just the musician or the entertainer. I got to know Rafi Cavukian, the man with a complex history and a wholehearted love for the world around him. It's a version of Raffie. He sometimes shares with the world, but that's often overshadowed by a song about a baby whale. When we were talking about legacy, I also asked him about how he wanted to be remembered as a person. Icon decide as Rafi Cavukian, the Egyptian born kid who made his first guitar out of a box and rubber bands and obsessed over his hair as a teenager, the son of Ardo and Lucy, brother to Ownig and Annie. Well, I want to be remembered as the playful person that I am, the lifelong learner, the curious child. I think a deeper question, which is whose am I? Whose child am I? Yes, I'm the biological child of two parents, but I'm also the child of life's longing for itself. As Kelly GiB Brown said in his book The Prophet Gibbron said, your children are not your own. They come through you, but they're not of you. I took that in and I asked the question then, of whom am I? And the answer isn't very difficult. Really, it leads you to the mystery of existence, of creation. I'm a child of the universe. I'm a child of creation. Oh okay, what a rich hairca really all right? How expensive? How how beautiful? And how connecting to all of life on this earth. You see, after nearly a year of reflection and introspection about Raffie and his work, this sentiment is what will stick with me the most from our time together. My child is not me. When Sunny came along, I could not wait to see what kind of person she'd grow into. Would she be left handed and silly like me, or really tall and love ranch dressing like Val. When she figured out how to unlock my phone, I thought, Wow, she's going to be a cyber security expert. And when I saw her in a swimming pool for the first time, I thought she was destined for the Summer Olympics. And yeah, there was fear there too. Would my trauma become her trauma? But what Rafie is saying is that Sonny is already a whole person. She'll find her own path in this world, and it will be her own. And if we discount our kids as half formed people, we miss including them where it matters the most. If we want to create a better, healthier world, we need to see our smallest, most vulnerable members of society as people. That's what respect is. It's not just manners or civility. It's acknowledgement of our true selves, of our needs and the needs of others and of each other. Can we live holistically and not in silos? Can we live in communion with each other and not in division? Can we seek connectedness as our lack of belonging to something greater than ourselves. Can we enjoy these riches? Is this not what we're here for? Alright? So any girl? Are you ready to do this? Okay, Well, here we go. The more we get together together together, The more we get together, the happy you will be. For your friends are my friends, and my friends are yours. The more we get together, the happier will be. Finding Raffie is a production of I Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch. It's produced by Catherine Finalosa, Meredith Hannig, and James Trout. Production and assistance from Charlotte Livingston Alex french Is our story consultant. Our senior producer is Andrea Swahe Emily foremant As our editor. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Grusado. So many thanks to all the people who helped us make this project, including Bert Simpson, Linda Steele, Susan Johnston, Diana Bain, Dana Etma and the team at the Raffi Foundation for Child Honoring, Stephen Kirchen, Maggie Grossberg, Donna Franken, Andrew Berman, and the teams at the Bustle Digital Group and I Heart Radio. I also want to personally thank my wife Foul and my beautiful baby Sunny, my mom and dad, I'm This, and Anna Garcia deb and Jeff Aames, Ryan Pettigrew at Night for US Studios, and everybody at Rococo Punch and Fatherly. Rafe's music is courtesy of Troubadour Music Special thanks to Kim Lay at Troubadour, and last, but certainly not least, thank you, Raffie. Come More We get together. Our executive producers are Jessica Alpert and John Parotti at Rococo Punch, Ty Trimble, Mike Rothman and Jeff Eisenman at fatherly and me. Chris Garcia, thank you for listening. Are we get together, the happy will be h? I do you think

My goodness, is that sunny? Sunny? Thank you for the wonder in your face. During one of our interviews, I surprised Raffie with a special guest. Oh ma, look this is Sunny. Hi, Hi is sunny. And who else? My wife val joined too. It's so wonderful to meet you. Pleasure her entire life. She's been listening to you, Raffie. At this moment. Through the screen, I see a version of Raffie that I haven't really seen up close before. I wish I could hold her. Oh, that would be the best to lovely. Look at Look at how alert and awake she is. Wow. He transforms into Raffie the children's entertainer, and he pulls out all the stops. Thanks so Lord, thanks for their sun in the sky. He sings, he talks in silly voices, he barks like a dog. He's in his element, and I can't help but think about how he never had kids of his own. It's everyone's personal choice, really, you know. In my case, my albums felt like my kids. The amount of labor or the effort, you know, taking care of them as they as they came into the world. Even though Rappie didn't raise his own kids in a way he raised us. So many people associate him with their favorite childhood memories. But is that enough? You know, are you only just going to remember me for my six little ducks and apples and bananas and baby bug? Or are you going to look at the rest of my life as well? Are you going to look at my second career, my child honoring work. What about my thirty years as a climate activist? Will you take a look at where all this music and you know, advocacy, activism was coming from. What what was it about? Will you see the coherence in it? The Earth and Child link. I'm Chris Garcia and this is Finding Raffie, a ten part series from My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch about the life, philosophy, and the work of Raffie, the man behind the music. For the last two years, Raffie, who's seventy three, has been writing out the pandemic at home on a small island off the coast of Vancouver with his dog Luna. No concerts, not much socializing. If you're looking for Raffie, your best bet is Twitter. He's super active there promoting his organization, the Raffie Foundation for child honoring and expressing his thoughts on all sorts of things, climate change, vaccines, fascism, and the war on Ukraine. In a recent tweet, he called the war genocidal and referred to Vladimir Putin's actions as one man's evil epic harm in Russia and beyond. But he also life tweets ice hockey games and shares pictures of the sunrise. And he's still making music, still writing songs with a message. Don't people marching striking for climate black lives matter? Of course they matter. Lack loves matter to me in this time of turning, this time of yearning feel the way of democracy. For someone who has spent a lifetime connecting with people, I imagine the isolation has been especially hard and it's given him ample time to think, especially about how he wants to be remembered. Here's my producer Andrea, asking him about that. What do you hope your legacy is. I've been toying with the idea of asking my fans how they would celebrate my passing. It's not a question that one would lightly put to one's fans. If one day you hear on the news celebrated children's entertainer Raphie has passed away at the age of blah blah blah from whatever melody was right. I imagine there would be a couple of days of outpourings of love from fans, you know how it is that you hear in media and so on, and then life goes on as it should. It's just the way things are right. And what I've been wondering is, and I hope that you can sense this isn't my ego speaking. What I'm wondering is if tens of millions of people have my music living in their hearts and minds in a profound way. You know, those people who say that my music was the soundtrack of their childhood, and that they're younger hearing it still every day from a very young age in their formative years. So my question is, might there be a way of a It's an emotional question. Might there be a way of guiding or or a way of conspiring together how my passing might be held in the hearts of minds of people so as to move them to make the bold choices towards planetary survival in the climate emergency age, towards sustainability and restoration of ecosystems and the ecosystems on which our lives depend on this beleaguered planet. Is there a way that my passing conserve a greater purpose than just saying some nice things to me, you know, uh in public for a couple of days. That's kind of what I'm asking. Of course, I can't answer Raphael's question. I want to, but I can't. And what strikes me the most when hearing him contemplate his legacy, is that this is a man looking back on a life, a full life, a meaningful life, and he's will never stopped wondering can I do more? It was almost fifty years ago when Ralphie started making music for kids, and since then, generations of his fans have passed his music down to their children. Ralphie calls them Beluga grads, kind of like Jimmy Buffett and his parrot heads. I came across a variety of them, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, poet Leopoldine, core filmmaker Sean k rob and Chris Hayes of MSNBC. There's a specific genius required in adults who make stuff the kids love, and he has it clearly you get older and then you have your own kids, and lo and behold you find that Baby Beluga is still absolutely slaps as the kids say, I could be like unconscious and be reciting, you know, Baby Beluga. Mina Harris is a Beluga grad to. She's a lawyer, activists, children's book author, and founder of the fashion and entertainment company Phenomenal. Shake my silly is out, apples and bananas will be all be woo um down by the bay. Oh my god, we're seeing that in our house so much. And I think Raphy's adult fans, those who are sharing his music with their own children, like Chris and Mina, they have something in common similar parenting values. It's really about, you know, respecting children right, respecting their big ideas, their their feelings, and really understanding and appreciating that they're quite capable and insightful. Talk about your feelings, talk about when you're sad, don't bottle things up inside, listen, be kind, reach out to people, enjoy word play and funny jokes and rhymes, and be curious about the world. And all those values are like to me really enduring the way I was raised and the way that we're definitely you know, trying to raise our own kids. Is that you know, you don't baby them, right, We don't sugarcoat things. We never had a kiddie table in my house, right, Like you sat at the dinner table and you were expected to, you know, yes, listen and learn, and if you had a contribution to make, to do that and you know, to have a well supported argument and to you know, be ready to have a conversation engaging you know, kids in that right and not assuming that you know, they can't understand or they can't make some sort of contribution. You know. I think his contribution as well is really about, you know, helping kids to sort of process and embrace this complicated world, but doing so with joy and and positivity. Yeah, you know, I've always loved Raffe's music growing up. Loved his albums, all of his songs, but Baby Blugo was extra special. I loved that song. Lindsay Monroe isn't just a Raffe fan. She's also a children's musician. I am kind. I'll be your friend, will you be mine? I can share a smile. I am kind. When they first met, Rafi encouraged Lindsay to write a song for kids like her children, Jack, Emma and mem who all have autism. So I went home and I wrote I Am Kind, which is the title song to my first album. I was so nervous to share it with him. I thought, Oh, my goodness, I don't know if this is any good. You know, he's such a children's music icon. But I sent him the song and he loved it, and from there he just encouraged me to keep writing. I Am Brave, I do it feel afraid I can do the hard things. After Rapie heard the song, he signed Lindsay to Troubadour. She's the only other artist on his label. I think that while I do right with narrow diverse kids and families in mind, I really do right for all children. I try to have a message, like a social story in my songs. Uh For example, on my newest album, I have a song called flexible and easy Going. And while you know my neurodiverse family certainly needs that reminder to always be flexible in all situations and easy going, I think that all children really could benefit from that reminder. So my music is for everyone. Although I write with autistic children in mind, I feel myself getting upset, and I remember not to fret. Those things can change without me knowing. But I could be flexible in need see going, Yeah, I can be flexible in need. Ze Going. Music really activates like both the left and right atmospheres of your brain, and it's it's a good way to help really remember a lesson and really um internalize it. So I think that in singing about these things, the melody sticks in your head and you sing it to yourself throughout the day, and it's a great way to remember the message that the song is carrying. Yeah, I could be flexible in need. Lindsay is clearly an extension of Raffi's musical tradition, and by signing her to Troubadour, producing her albums and collaborating with her, it feels like Raffie is giving her his seal of approval that Lindsay and other artists like her are what Raffi wants the future of children's music to be. But Raffie and lindsay style of music isn't at the forefront of the genre anymore. Children's music has blown up since Raffie came into the picture in the seventies, and that singer songwriter vibe is up against the massive Disney machine, huge hit makers like Pink Fong, Congratulations You Know Have Baby Sharks Stuck in Your Head, and the behea myth known as Coco Melon, among so many others. Rafie continues to push for a more child centric and non commercial path in children's entertainment, and Lindsay is the perfect person to follow in Raphy's footsteps. But she just has her own natural songwriting style which I love and love to support. I think she has an important voice and the niche of kindness and caring that now hopefully we can spread through this music, because we sure needed in our society. Talking with his fans, learning about what they've gone on to do, who they've gone on to be. I can see Raffie's legacy in action. It may not lead to the elimination of fossil fuels or a world without conflict, but his life's work is evident in the day to day, around the kitchen table, at singalongs and at bedtime. It's a good start when your goal is to heal the world. Since last June, Raffie and I have been getting to know each other. I read his autobiography I've listened to his music and watched his specials, and of course we've had several video interviews where we've dug really deep. I don't know if you know this about me, but one of the things I'm known for, other than talking about my Cuban American heritage and about growing up between two cultures, is that I performed as my father was dying and um my father had Alzheimer's for about ten years, and and it was it was devastating. I performed hours after I found out that my dad only had a couple of days left to live. And as an artist and creative person and a person who wears my heart on my sleeve, I had to go out and I had to perform. So when I was reading your book and I found out that you were you were touring, when you learned that your parents were seriously ill, like, what was what was that like for you? Well, I, you know, lived on the West Coast. They were in Toronto, and I had concerts to do. I took my responsibility to my fans, of course, seriously, and I tried to do whatever I could while balancing flying to Toronto whenever possible to look in on both my father and my mother in their final weeks. I couldn't know that it was their final weeks, but I you know, I knew I had to see them as often as I could, so I really took the time to do that. Ralphie opens his autobiography with the death of his parents. He writes about his mother, Lucy's diagnosis inoperable abdominal cancer. In their final days, Lucy and Ralphie's father Ardo, we're both hospitalized. Ralphie visited them frequently, but he didn't make it home in time to say a final goodbye. Lucy and Artokavukian died on Thursday October, within twelve hours of each other. What did you learn about yourself after your parents died? It's too broad a question. I'm sorry, You're right, it is very it's too broad of a question. There's so much to unpack an event like that. Well, what aspect of it? Am I going to speak to it? In this moment? Like, I mean, sure I remember a lot, but like, what would you have me say? Your father passes and you're you're suddenly a changed human being? Both my parents passed on the same day. That was the That's what the stunning event was was that I was suddenly without either parents, and that's there's no preparation for that. So I did my best. I started writing my autobiography, is what I did. I felt it was the end of an era. Well, you you dedicated your autobiography to them, of course, and you spent a lot of your life trying to understand your childhood and your relationship with them. Did you feel closer to an understanding after they passed? After you were in the Your understanding of my understanding of both my parents and my life with them, you know, was something that grew and evolved over the decades, and after they passed, that process kept on happening. Of course. You know, I understood better perhaps why they tried so hard to keep the Armenian heritage alive in my life, you know. But it principally I was filled with the longing that came out of the love I had for them and the love that they had for me. I was clearly missing them terribly, and it's unlike any other experience in life to lose one's parents, and I am. I was glad to have an autobiography to write. Actually, now that I think of it, that was a wonderful way of remembering them, remembering their stories. I wanted to pay respect to their life experience even as I wrote about mine, because their life experience was formative for me, not only as a young child, but in my adolescence and adulthood. So hopefully I did some of that justice. In the book, you write about reconnecting with your Armenian heritage and finding a box full of artwork and textbooks after your parents died. What can you tell me what you found and what that was like. There were books of Armenian paintings, master painters that and a little note from my mother saying too, Raffie from from Lucy with love, and so, you know, very touching and it was very moving. These were the gifts you know that I inherited, souvenirs from my parents life are cherished part of my memories and they they are in my home now and they nourish me. What happens after our parents die is that we change our relationship with them, as we must, because that relations and ship now is in our minds and hearts. So we bring meaning to the past relationship with them by the new reflections and contemplations of what it felt like to be their offspring, and what we might have wanted in this way or that way that we didn't possibly get. We're making meaning of the past as we rolled it into the future of a relationship that exists in our memory of who these people were. It's a beautiful process if you think about it. Before my dad's death, the month of February was just a regular ass month. M Now it's biblical. My dad was born on February four and died on February seventy five years later. Then last year, the month became even more loaded because Sonny was born on February six. The lead up to her birth was already a roller coaster of emotions, and that day, February six, should have been the best day of my life, but it wasn't, because that was the day I almost lost my wife m After Sunny was born, Val and I were overjoyed, crying happy tears. But then Val started losing color and losing a lot of blood, and that beautiful moment turned terrifying. The staff at the birthing center had to call nine one one, and Val was rushed to the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would ever see her again, and I was left with our baby, a brand new little girl I didn't want to name, just in case I had to name her. Val At that moment, I remembered the story my aunt told me on a trip to Cuba. I told the story to my producer Andrea during the anniversary week last month. When I went to Cuba and talk to my aunt, my dad's sister. She told me that my dad was born feet first and almost killed his mom and because of that, his dad resented him the rest of his life. But my dad's dad was shitty to him because of the effect he had on his mom. And in that moment, knowing that that would be possible, I knew that I wouldn't do it to Sunny in case whatever happened. They don't really tell you how close death is to birth, but every time, it's like so precarious, you know. And it was the most frightening day of and the saddest day, Like I would say, it's I'd never known a deep sadness and feel like that since my dad. But none of that came in the way of how I was much. I was going to love this little girl, you know, because I know my dad had a shitties childhood and I never knew why, but the way my aunt explained it, it seemed like it was it stemmed from the first moment he walked into this earth and having a complicated birth with his mom, And I'm like, I don't care about that. I'm going to love her beyond this. It almost felt like I was gonna love her for my dad and of course for her everybody. Oh my god, no, Sunny. Yeah. This February we celebrated Sunny's first birthday. The year has been filled with sleepless nights and tremendous joys, and I got to see Sunny grow from the sweet, squishy, little baby blob to a kid who's got personality and sass and the best smile in the world. Yeah, aside from face masks and changing diapers, a few things in the last year have been a constant for me. But for the last nine months, I've all so had Raffi. It's been both beautiful and strange to know that there's a man in Western Canada that I could talk to you about music, childhood, parenting, and our pasts, a man beloved by generations of children, teachers, and parents. But I got to know, not just the musician or the entertainer. I got to know Rafi Cavukian, the man with a complex history and a wholehearted love for the world around him. It's a version of Raffie. He sometimes shares with the world, but that's often overshadowed by a song about a baby whale. When we were talking about legacy, I also asked him about how he wanted to be remembered as a person. Icon decide as Rafi Cavukian, the Egyptian born kid who made his first guitar out of a box and rubber bands and obsessed over his hair as a teenager, the son of Ardo and Lucy, brother to Ownig and Annie. Well, I want to be remembered as the playful person that I am, the lifelong learner, the curious child. I think a deeper question, which is whose am I? Whose child am I? Yes, I'm the biological child of two parents, but I'm also the child of life's longing for itself. As Kelly GiB Brown said in his book The Prophet Gibbron said, your children are not your own. They come through you, but they're not of you. I took that in and I asked the question then, of whom am I? And the answer isn't very difficult. Really, it leads you to the mystery of existence, of creation. I'm a child of the universe. I'm a child of creation. Oh okay, what a rich hairca really all right? How expensive? How how beautiful? And how connecting to all of life on this earth. You see, after nearly a year of reflection and introspection about Raffie and his work, this sentiment is what will stick with me the most from our time together. My child is not me. When Sunny came along, I could not wait to see what kind of person she'd grow into. Would she be left handed and silly like me, or really tall and love ranch dressing like Val. When she figured out how to unlock my phone, I thought, Wow, she's going to be a cyber security expert. And when I saw her in a swimming pool for the first time, I thought she was destined for the Summer Olympics. And yeah, there was fear there too. Would my trauma become her trauma? But what Rafie is saying is that Sonny is already a whole person. She'll find her own path in this world, and it will be her own. And if we discount our kids as half formed people, we miss including them where it matters the most. If we want to create a better, healthier world, we need to see our smallest, most vulnerable members of society as people. That's what respect is. It's not just manners or civility. It's acknowledgement of our true selves, of our needs and the needs of others and of each other. Can we live holistically and not in silos? Can we live in communion with each other and not in division? Can we seek connectedness as our lack of belonging to something greater than ourselves. Can we enjoy these riches? Is this not what we're here for? Alright? So any girl? Are you ready to do this? Okay, Well, here we go. The more we get together together together, The more we get together, the happy you will be. For your friends are my friends, and my friends are yours. The more we get together, the happier will be. Finding Raffie is a production of I Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch. It's produced by Catherine Finalosa, Meredith Hannig, and James Trout. Production and assistance from Charlotte Livingston Alex french Is our story consultant. Our senior producer is Andrea Swahe Emily foremant As our editor. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Grusado. So many thanks to all the people who helped us make this project, including Bert Simpson, Linda Steele, Susan Johnston, Diana Bain, Dana Etma and the team at the Raffi Foundation for Child Honoring, Stephen Kirchen, Maggie Grossberg, Donna Franken, Andrew Berman, and the teams at the Bustle Digital Group and I Heart Radio. I also want to personally thank my wife Foul and my beautiful baby Sunny, my mom and dad, I'm This, and Anna Garcia deb and Jeff Aames, Ryan Pettigrew at Night for US Studios, and everybody at Rococo Punch and Fatherly. Rafe's music is courtesy of Troubadour Music Special thanks to Kim Lay at Troubadour, and last, but certainly not least, thank you, Raffie. Come More We get together. Our executive producers are Jessica Alpert and John Parotti at Rococo Punch, Ty Trimble, Mike Rothman and Jeff Eisenman at fatherly and me. Chris Garcia, thank you for listening. Are we get together, the happy will be h? I do you think