Films To Be Buried With with Brett GoldsteinBill Hader • Rewind Classic (Barry / SNL / Trainwreck) • #350
LOOK OUT! It’s only Films To Be Buried With! A REWIND CLASSIC!
Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with the always awesome and funny writer, comic and actor BILL HADER!
Below will be the original writeup for this episode which originally aired on 30th June 2022. It's me on the intro/outro (your producer Buddy Peace), so don't be alarmed. I mean you no shock or surprise. A great episode on all counts! Have fun.
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You may have been newly acquainted to Bill via his incredible show 'Barry' (link below), which will surely be drawing more and more people in as word spreads. But you may be very well acquainted with Bill already through his hugely varied and awesome career involving tons of films, shows, and Saturday Night Live among more bits and pieces. So it's a treat to hear he and Brett kick it on the subject of everything up to now, including career highlights, process, his 'life sizzle-reel', wisdom, films that you may not have heard of, and so much more besides. It's a great one, folks.
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Look out.
It's only Films to be Buried with It's rewind classic season. Hello, dearest films to be Buried with Crewe. My name is Buddy Peace. I am a producer and editor, a DJ and music maker. A farewell transmission and for intro and outro per is I'm temporarily standing in for your regular host and proud creator of this podcast, mister Brett Goldstein. As Tom Waits once said, what does it matter a dream of love or a dream of liars? We're all going to be the same place when we die. Interesting idea, Tom, But as this podcast proves, we all end up in very different places when we die, and some of us join some very severe environments. Indeed. Oh, also, quick note, we need to talk about the rename of your album Bone Machine to Troubling Bone Machine. I will hit you later. Just got a record disc give mes sick. Every week Brett invites a guest on, he tells them they've died, and then he talks to them about their life through the medium of film. However, this week, we are revisiting an earlier episode of the podcast while Brett recharges the podcast batteries and retreats to the Fortress of Solitude for a moment or two in this bridge between seasons. This particular rewind is from June thirtieth, twenty twenty two, originally episode two hundred and two, featuring Saturday Night Live regular and writer actor director Bill Hayder. Folks in the US might be more familiar with the Saturday Night Live component of Bill's illustrious career, but certainly many listeners will have seen the hit series Barry, which at the time of recording this episode, Bill was busy working one a lovely one from not so far back in the past, but a great chance to catch up if you missed it. I will take this opportunity to also remind you that Brett has a Patreon page for the podcast, upon which you get a bonus section every episode with a secret from each guest, more questions, and a video of each episode which looks all nice and fresh and it's just nice to see faces talking. So if you're a supporting nature and feel like some extras from this show, you will find them all there. So that is it for now. Let's get you settled in for a wonderful episode with the brilliant Bill Hayder. Catch you at the end for a quick sign off, but for now, please enjoy this flashback to episode two hundred and two for films to be buried with.
Hello, and welcome to who films to be buried with? It is I Brett Goldstein, and I'm joined today by an actor, a writer, a comedian, a skeptic, an inside out, a Simpson, a South Parker, a skeleton twin, a creator, a showrunner, a hero, a legend, and a human in his own right. Please welcome to the show. Can't believe he's here. It's the one and Ily, it's mister bier. Oh.
That was very sweet. Thank you, glad to be here, lovely to have you.
How are you. How's it going? I'm good now. You told me just while we were setting up, But I think the listeners would want to know you are currently mid writing Barry season four.
Yeah, we're writing Berry season four. That's what I was just doing before I hopped on here. So if I'm a bit tired, I apologize.
I wanted to ask you about Barry because I think I'd forgotten until I went back and looked. You directed so many of them, so many of the episodes, including that in the first lot. How was it having this much control? This is the first thing you've had this much control over, I guess, is that true? Yeah?
Yeah, definitely. Nothing is as hard as Saturday Night Live. So everything after that was quite easy. And I think that's why so many of us now have these TV shows, because it's a bit like, oh yeah, I know how to do that, you know. But the one thing I didn't know how to do and I always have wanted to do since I was very young, was direct you know. It was always making short films with friends and my sisters and things like that. So that was one thing I wasn't able to do on Saturday Live. And then so directing when we pitched to HBO Berry and then you know, I said I like to direct the pilot, they kind of went huh okay, and then alec Berg thankfully said I vouched for him. He had no idea if I could do it or not. That for him, I think it's going to be great, yeah, you know, and.
It seems like yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like he looks like, look at him, you.
Know, he's wearing a cap and it's meeting directors wear caps. He must be a director.
Well, he's got a black blazer and a black T shirt with like you know, and he's fine. You know.
Okay. Two things. One is you are not the first person i've heard say nothing's harder than the SNL. And I know how hard it is making and running a TV show. Can you, in a short way maybe explain why SNL is hard?
Well, just because it's you're figuring the whole show out in a week and then it's on live television. It's you know, it's live all over the nation, so it's just a lot of pressure, and then it's constantly changing. So if you're like me and you like films that you love to home things and get them just right, and SNL, that's almost impossible. You had to just kind of go out there with something that you Some of it work, some of it didn't. I feel like that's why stand ups and people with a really strong in the state sketch background, you know, people from Second City or UCB or the ground lanes thrive there in a really great way because they can handle that and going like, oh, this isn't working somewhat move on to the next thing, where I would I would get pretty crushed even if I was you know, Customer number two in my straight line didn't land, I would be like, oh you know.
Yeah, yeah, tell me this on Saturday nights. Now, this is genuine serious question. Do you get butterflies on a Saturday night.
I don't get butterflies on a Saturday night. But if I hear certain songs, I will get butterflies. If I hear Train in Vain by the Clash, because that would be the warm up song right before we would go on that. If I heard Train in Vain and Keenan Thompson would sing and Fred Armison would sing it for the audience to warm up the audience. If I hear that, I do have a bit of a because that means, oh, after that song's done, we're live.
I'm customer number two.
It's like, I don't know. I just hear that, and I'm like.
Fast they can I ask you a kind of practical question that I'm always interested in, And I don't know, And I'm sure everyone is different. When you're directing Barry, you are alsoide Barry. So when you are acting in a scene, do you film it then guy watched the monitor? Do you trust someone that you've got it? Do you feel you had it, right, I trust somebody.
I also, you know, I have you know, Alec Berg there, or this guy Duffy Boudreau who I grew up with was one of my oldest friends who's a writer on the show and actually the first a d this guy Gavin Klentop was just brilliant. You know, they really get what the show is, so I can kind of go over to them. Or sometimes it's the people I'm acting with, the other actors will be like, what do you think of that? You know, just seem to work, you know, or you just know it. But I'm also because I'm directing, I'm incredibly impatient, so I you know, I just want to keep going. And I think that you know, you've been on sets, you know, it's you like to get that momentum going, and the momentum just crushes where they go, oh, let's go look at it, you know, and you watch it and everybody goes m you know, here I'm going to try something. I just feel like everything kind of dies down. I like to keep it. Let's go again, Let's go again, let me try this, let me try this, and then then maybe I'll sometimes you should watch it because I don't know what you're doing is pretty weird.
Did it feel good? It felt good because it looked really weird.
Yeah, if it felt good, then you should watch it.
Whatever. Question, if I may about the Barry stuff, is your own season four, which is a lot, does it live in you in your head? Like is it exciting to you that you can keep building this thing? Or is every season do you think that's it for me? Do you write it like this is it? And then you get given another season you're like, fuck a whole new world?
Or yeah, I mean it started out that, you know, you do the first season and you go, well, maybe that's it, and you kind of ideas, hey, if we got a season two, this is what I'd like to do, and then we got a season two, and then during season two it was kind of yeah, you're gonna get a season three because this seems to be working. So while we're doing season two, we're kind of going, oh, you know, this could be in season three, that could be in season three. The weird thing about season four is that it was during the pandemic. You know that we were supposed to be shooting season three and then because of the pandemic, nothing, and so we said well, can we write season four? And HBO said yeah, sure, and they paid us to write season four, And so that helps season three because we got to go back and rewrite a bunch of stuff and kind of set them some things up for what a season four would look like.
Cool. Would you be happy to do it for many more years? Or is that not a question?
I mean yeah, one day, yes, another day I'm like, no, I can't do this. You know you can't. If you call me when I'm driving out to the you know, the desert at three am to get you know, a shot at dawn or you know or whatever, I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
I mean, it's an insane just watching you know what Jason has to man take on. You know, it's it's an inhumid amount of pressure.
Conor O'Brien has this this analogy of the white suit. You know, you put on a white suit and people go, you know that means you know this, you have a suit on it something, it's really white and nice, and you just don't It's like, I don't want to get it dirty, you know, and you go, oh jeez, the white suit. You know, I don't know if Sadeika's goes through that. But I know there was a moment in writing season two a Berry that was a bit of that white suit feeling. Fuck it, let's just throwing spaghetti. Let's just see what happened. And I'm friends with the guys. You know, hear on your eye over Atlanta and he said, oh, we had a very similar feeling where i'ment. Oh. Man, it's a hard thing to explain to people the pressure that comes when the thing works, you know, and because people go, oh, that must be really hard.
Yeah, And the longer the thing guy's done the more the more you're like, don't want to in the suit would come this.
Far, like, yeah, this suit's been this far. Why are you still don't get on that motorcycle and drive through puddles?
What the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, especially critics will say that, like please stop now. I've done interviews with critics, so they go, please tell me this is it, And you go, ah, well, I mean we got one more.
You know, are you ever able to switch it off? Or is it full time in your head? It's full time in my head.
But that's fun, you know, It's it's never a I mean, the pressure of it definitely gets to you, you know, at times. And and I'm directing all the episodes next season, so that's another aspect of it.
That's a lot.
But it's but it again, it's not as hard as starn it live. And I don't know, Jason say the same thing, but it's not. Yeah, it's still not as hard as starn alive. It's like, oh, but I you know, we get to edit it.
You know.
Yeah, I get to go home and sleep, I get like little breaks. You know. You just never got that.
Really, Oh, Bill, I've forgotten to tell you something, and I should have told you in the beginning. Oh fuck, And I don't know if you've got it in your email. I don't know. I don't know how much it is the first time we've met. This is awkward. I'll just fucking say it and then we'll deal with it. Okay, you've died.
Oh dang it. I knew something was up.
It was such a good mood, so much going on. How did you die?
Well, I went skydiving and then the parachute opened and I landed, but then I had a heart attack. I don't think I had anything to do with the sky diving.
That was just a lovely activity.
I feel like it was just a lovely activity, and then it was just my time. I think if I had jumped a couple of minutes later, I would have had a heart attack on the.
Plane, right right, So when your friends and family tried to see the skydiving company, I'm going to be a witness and court. So I actually think just to be clear, I think because all.
And you check his heart?
Yeah, how old were you? How old would you like to be when when this happens?
Oh I was eighty three?
Okay, do you worry about death?
You know what I used to when I was very young? And then you know, you see people close to you go, and it focused me more on Oh this is all very finite, you know, so I should try to do what I want to do with every day, you know.
Well as in and stop worrying about the deathbit because it stopped me getting on my shit.
Yeah yeah, well you see people go and then you go like, oh okay, that's where we're all headed. So you know, Sadeikas could probably tell you this that you know delk closed you know he is or what Yeah?
Yeah, he was the improv king had.
Problems, yeah, and he had. He would tell the story of the sky Dancer, and the sky dancer jumped out an airplane and did all these beautiful dances and pulled their parachute, and the parachute didn't open, and instead of panicking, the sky dancer just kept dancing and all the way around and died. And that was the analogy of life, which is like this, we're all headed to the ground, so you might as well dance, you know, and like make something or do something or express yourself, you know. And I thought that was nice. But I'm also from the Midwest, like Jason, so we're we cry a lot.
Did you have a work with that place?
No, you know, I think he passed away before I was even He was such a legend by the time I started doing improv. I know. I remember going into Bob oden Kirk's office and there's a picture of him and Deul Close and Chris Farley, and I was like, oh, my gosh, there's still closely shit. But yeah, he's the kind of father of improv, and you know, came up with Mike Nichols and Elaine May and all those people.
If you don't mind, because I don't know how much you Maybe you've talked about this leaves, but I was reading enough on you far as I understand. Correct me if I'm wrong. You wanted to make film, and you were you were being an assistant and production assistant, and you were on the job for stuff at very low level, just trying to learn stuff. And then at some point you started doing improv. But it didn't seem like there was any comedy stuff before this. Can I ask you what made you go to the improv? You know?
It was two things. One the girl I've been dating for seven years and I broke up.
Ever I got it, you know what I mean.
So we had broken up and she had moved out of Los Angeles. You know, you know when you go through a massive breakup, And it was my first massive breakup. The first reel like we were in love, we broke up and so I so I got to do something different. And then my friend Eric philip Kowski and I were Boss Pias on this reality TV show. He said, oh, do you want to come to Second City Theater and see a show that you know, my show? And then there's another show after it. And I went and saw a show. It was called haha. Fresh. And then that show was a guy named Derek Waters who ended up doing Drunk History, a guy named Simon Hildeberg who was on The Big Bang Theory and some other things. Yeah he's in a net. Yeah, he's great Internet.
Yeah.
And they were in that show, and I was embarrassed because they were my age, you know, and they were performing and I went, woll, well, I could you know, we can do that, you know. And so I has been embarrassed, and so I kind of went over to Eric and said, how do I get in on this? And he's like, you got to take classes. So that was the winter of two thousand and three. Wow, And so I went and I took classes starting to March. And that was purely just a way to start being creative because I was trying to make short films but needed money and it wasn't like now or you can make stuff on your phone and stuff. It was like too expensive. And well, at least every Saturday I do something creative. So that was my creative outlet.
I love that. I love it. Tell me this, what do you think happens when you die? Do you think there's enoughter life?
No? I think it's just a white lake. Switch goes off and it's just complete darkness.
You Sky, don't you land? You have a heart attack? Blackout, blackout hard, blackout, hard, blackout. Well, I got news for you, buddy boy. Heaven. You're wrong, you got it. You're not right. There's a heaven and it's brilliant, and it's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing?
Movies.
It's filled with movies. It's like a Blockbuster video. There's isles and isles of movies. There are people made of celluloid, there's screening rooms, there's beds filled with cans of film. Everyone it's really happy to see you. They want to talk to you about your life, but through the medium of film, and the first thing they ask you is what Bill Hayder is. The first film you remember seeing.
In the theater was Empire Strikes Back. Specifically, the scene I remember was of Hans Solo falling in carbonite. The close up of it comes in the frame and you see him in carbonite, and I started crying, and my dad took me out of the theater and I remember that. And then on television was a late night movie called The Children. There was a horror film and I remember it had an image of a bunch of kids in a school bus and the school bus goes into a giant cloud, like a cloud of smoke on a street and it turns them all into zombies. But that image of the school bus going into the smoke really freaked me out again and told my parents, and I remember it was very young, and then when YouTube happened. I remember being at home and I was thinking about that, just know, and I went, I wonder what that was, and so I typed in school bus, cloud of smoke, and then this trailer for this movie came up, and there it was this image that I was like, maybe I just dreamed that, you know, And there it was that image of the children. I go, this is it. This is one hundred percent of what I saw.
You know. Did it scare you? No, were like, oh this looks silly.
Oh yeah, that looks kind of I was like, oh wow, yeah, it's a bunch of just smoke bombs going off in the middle of the street, like just the But it's very very cheap horror film called The Children that I think I wasn't supposed to be seen. I think it was just it was on television I.
Wandered into a room when you saw m Bus strikes back? Was that just you and your dad? That?
Were you with my members? Were just me and my dad?
Yeah, that's sweet. And he took you out because he would crying right before the end.
Yeah, I was quite young. I was very young. Yeah, like three or four or something, and I just started freaking out. And that was the first one I can remember. He said he snuck me into other movies before that when I was a baby, because they couldn't find a babysitter, so they would have me, you know, and they'd be bouncing me while they're watching you know whatever Cramer versus Kramer or whatever late seventies movie they were watching.
What is the film that made you cry the most? You're from the Midwest, you cry? What's the film that might you cry the vice?
It's actually a movie from Kess, the kim Loach movie Kess.
Okes the fucking Yeah, I mean yeah, Kes is the maddest is the West Children's It's such a horror film.
The scene in Cash when he's in front of the class and the teachers like tell them about how you train kestrels, And I just find that so moving. How they at first they make fun of It just feels so real and that kid is so good. I just find that scene of acceptance. There's nothing sentimental or syrupy about it. It just feels very real, you know, and it's just beautiful, beautiful scene.
Doesn't it make you think the difference between British films and American films is children's films in America and on a positive note of British films, And with the bird stuffed in a bin?
Is that British? Is that just that region was a Yorkshire Horrific dreams are what you wake up from the end.
The message of that film should be, don't fucking bother it's a horrible film.
Don't train your birds around your older brother.
You'll get well jealous what you're in. Inside Out? Correct. We did a best Films in the decade edition of this podcast and I said the Inside that was the greatest film of the love.
Oh oh, I'll tell Pete and those guys that's nice.
Yeah, I think it truly is profound. I mean, we could talk about but we'll get you will get back to what choices, but shout out to inside Out?
I think, yeah, thank you? Oh yeah, I'll tell Pete. Those guys I really appreciate it. They're really sweet.
It's sucking something. What is the film that scared you the most? Do you like being scared?
Oh? Yeah, I love I love the horror films. I still love horror films. There's the horror films like I remember watching on late night television when I was twelve or thirteen, the same Raimi's Evil Dead. And there's a scene in that film where this woman is looking out a window and she's guessing the cards that her friends are playing and they don't understand how she's doing it. And then she turns around her eyes are white, and that scared the hell out of me. And then the irony is is that dress Ellen Sandwise. Her daughter is an actress named Jesse Hodges, and she's in Barry. She plays Sally's agent. And so when I met her and we were talking, my mom was in a little horror movie called Evil Dead, and I was like, way, who is your mom and Evil Dead? And she was like, you know, and that was her and that was that and I go, oh my gosh, that was a profound experience in my childhood. You know, her adolescence was seeing that film, and that film also was a film I think. I think for a lot of filmmakers, it was the one that kind of made you. It was like listening to punk rock music or something where you went, oh, I see how I can I see how they're doing it. It's really effective, but I think I can do this. You know, picked up your camera and you would chase your my sisters around or you would try to do all these kind of evil, dead things. So yeah, I would say that. And then another scene that scared me was in the film Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman. There's a scene where I don't know if you remember this scene where he's in a bathtub and he's he has a washcloth on his face and he's just kind of decompressing from all the stressful stuff that's happening to him and is very quiet, and then very very subtly you hear people whispering, and it's done so well that you think, still when I'm watching it, if I'm watching that with like other people, I kind of go, oh, someone's whispering in the room, and you kind of look over your shoulder, and then Dustin Hoffin goes and sits up and you go, oh, my gosh, that's in his apartment. And then he's in the bathtub and the door is just cracked open a bit and he runs over and when he slams the door shut, suddenly people are heading on the other side and you realize, oh, there's two men in his apartment. Oh my gosh, just terrifying.
Is good?
I love that moment.
Can I ask you an acting question. I think the two hardest things to do as an actor. One is laughing and the other is jumping scared, being starts over. You've got an amazing laughing scene in the film that I really really like Skeleton Twins. Oh, really good, and it seems completely genuine, And I wonder if it is a kind of captured moment where you and customer pissing yourself laughing, or whether that.
Was Yeah, that's Kristin and I just being good, you know, friends and making each other laugh. And she's improvising stuff and we're improvising together. But that's her just she was being just saying really funny things. I think she was saying stuff about someone's name or we were just's just real captured, very real, yes, yes.
Yeah, and then doing it chapter two where you are having to be scared? Is that hard as in the reality of filming?
That not really, you know, because Andy Machetti, who directed that movie, was very good at kind of getting you in a headspace and you know, being like all right, and he'd be on this big microphone okay, you guys are coming screaming. You would go, okay, it was really scariness. Yeah, yeah, and then you walk in and then.
Oh my god, that's brilliant. That south it. For me? That really just shouting the access. What is the film that you love? It is not critically acclaimed, most people don't even like it, but you think it's amazing and you don't care what they say.
Well, there's movies that I've walked out of, like after the movies ended and I go, man, that was great, and everyone else is like, what that was terrible? You know that feeling when you're the outlier. Yeah, I met that and eyes White shut.
Was that for me?
I walked out and went that was great, and everybody went that was the most pretentious piece of shit. Really, Oh, I thought it mad it really. I thought it was kind of funny, like interesting things about relationships, and and then the other one was that Jennifer Lawrence movie Mother. I remember walking out of that going that was really terrible. That was terrifying. I thought that was great, and yeah, oh my god. The people I was with were so the terror part of baby, and I go, but it's a dream. It's like a it's her nightmare of everything she wants. I don't know. I thought that was kind of interesting. I that was one when I said I liked it. My friend's girlfriend said, what's wrong with you?
Had? I had the same thing. I really liked that film a little, but I did that many people they day, so that's all right, It's fucking great.
I think it's brilliant, and people very very It was one of those things where I just said, as I've gotten older, I used to my twenties argue with people about movies, and now I'm just like, I just don't have the energy. So I just went, oh, okay, okay, okay. I think I just said okay about fifty times as we walked to my car. I was going, okay, okay, okay, you're right, you're right, Okay.
It's such a weird thing. I had this ugly with a friend the other day about a film that I just think it's amazing, and she hated it, and then she was like relentlessly kind of breaking down why it was terrible. And I suddenly was so like, what do you want at the end of this? Do you want the thing that has made me happy to not make me happy anymore?
Yeah, And I've experienced that with films that I like, where people get really riled up about it, and then and then sometimes I'll have like I love the film Clockwork Orange. That was a movie was very formidable for me. I understand that that movie is not easy to watch, but I can have a conversation of why that movie struck me so much and my views of like, you know, violence and you know, and the human condition and all these things whatever. And I did have a conversation that was the only really time where it was the opposite you were describing, because usually it's what you're describing where I go, I don't know what you want to do. But I had have friends say But what bothers me about that film was that it became pop culture and that people would dress up like rugs. And I remember seeing the Blur video and they're dressed up like drugs and all these other things. Part Simpson was dressed up like a drug and they're rapists, you know, like they're monsters. And I went, you know what, that's a very good point. You're right, that is a very good point. I mean that I could understand if you go and watch that film and you go, I hate that when people are posters of Alex on their wall and shit, and it's like that shouldn't be, you know. And I said, I can understand why you wouldn't like that film based on that, But I think that's the unfortunate byproduct of the thing. You know. But I said, I hear you. I think that movie is very important, But that is a very true thing that is important.
Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. On the other hand, what is a film that you used to love that you've watched recently and you've got but whatever rason that might be.
There is a film that was on HBO when I was growing up and I watched all the time called The Race. Try Out the Race. It was like an updated fifties like hot Rod movie, but it was set in the eighties. Chryl Flynn was in it. Nick Cassavetti's was in it. He was the bad guy and Charlie Sheen is a good kid who races these guys and then he's killed and then he comes back as this kind of ghost, you know, this almost this alien guy, not an actual alien, but it's a guy all in leather with like the helmet I kind of looks like Daft punk, but drives this really cool car. And the car somehow just reeks revenge against all these bad kids. And it was on HB all the time, and I was I just thought it was great. And then I was in a Seattle and I went into a video store and I found a DVD of it, and I went nuts. And it was really expensive and I bought it and I went, oh my god, this and oh my god, I went crazy. And it was very expensive DVD. And I got home and watched it, and the minute ten minutes in, I went, this isn't good.
That's so said.
And I called my sister because we used to watch all the time. I go, I found a copy of The Wraith and she went, oh my gosh, I you know, it might be on Amazon primal for all I know, but she, oh my gosh, I it was, and I go, it's terrible. What you know, it just didn't hold up.
That's up right. What is the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film is any good, but the experience you had around seeing the film will always make it meaningful to you. Bill Hayda, please.
So do they have SATs. They don't have a say you know es.
No, but but they're like examine when you're sixteen.
Yeah, this would be when we were Yeah, when your senior year of high school. So when you're seventeen, eighteen years old, you have to take, yeah, that test to get into college.
Yeah.
So the SAT. He's the thing that you study hard on. You know, kids, real rich kids would get you know, families would get them tutors for SAT. And your whole life for four years is you got to take this SAT. And how you do on this depends on what school you go to. And I went in to take my SAT and I was so overwhelmed and kind of defeated because I just didn't feel prepared that I put my name on it and I turned it in. I didn't do anything. So it was complete suicide. Wow. And you know an SAT test you have to go to another facility. You don't take it. I didn't take it at my school. It's like, you go to this place, your parents have to pay all this money. It's a real thing. And then I just put my name on it and I turned it in. I got my car and I drove the movie theater and I went and saw Mars Attacks. And while I was watching Mars Attacks, I was just watching this film where these aliens are destroying earth, going my life is over. I've completely blown up my life. And I was alone at the Promenace Theater in tuls Oklahoma, watching Mars Attacks and just thinking I'm gonna have to go home. I'm gonna have to tell my parents. I'm gonna have to do this. But for right now, I'm in Tim Burton's Perfect Little Flying Saucer World. And yeah, that was that movie forever. If I see a poster for it, or if I come across it on television, I go, oh my gosh. I just I don't think i'd really have seen that film because I just wasn't there the whole time. It was it was like I committed a murder.
Yeah, well you've met that. You you met that, your educa I still fix.
Yeah, I murdered my educational Yeah, my future.
So did you Did you go home and say what you did though? Did you wait too? You go zero? I said, I.
Don't think I did very well, So I didn't really cop to it. I said, I don't think I did well. How would you define bad? I mean, I think I've got to get quite like that. I mean, if you don't answer, it doesn't mean you really don't know it.
Yeah, you have to be in it to get either bad. Yeah.
I didn't really try. But I remember like a month later my mother saying, you didn't get into state school, which is I mean a given. So it was kind of like, oh man, you really blew it. And where I grew up, you would have to go to a junior college, which is is kind of like high school but you can smoke. And so I went out of state to a junior college with Jimmy Kimmel thinks it's the funniest thing of the planet. He went, Wait, you went out of state to a junior college, which really makes zero point zero sense. It makes no sense. And I went out of state and then ended up just moving to Los Angeles, you know, but you know, it doesn't matter. A lot of people went to junior college did great I could be talking out of school you, but I think Sadeikas might have gone to a junior college in Kansas. I feel like when he and I, because he and I shared an office to go at SNL, and I feel like we both were like you round at a cent live, you around all these like Harvard people, and I feel really inadequate. And I remember got named Charlie Granty and I went you went to Harvard. I was such a hillbilly. I was like, are you serious? You mean Harvard in Massachusetts? You went to Harvard? And uh, But I feel like Sadeka's was like, no, no, I went to a junior college and oh really okay.
So I don't feel as did you write anything on your sit you?
Did you actually do yourcity?
Did you actually do your s A T?
Please tell me you didn't. You know.
That's incredible, but both of you and now having to do my intense, hardworking amount of work possible like that, Yeah, that's interesting. What it's what it said around?
Yeah?
I do you know what was going on in your head when you did that? We just like I can't kite with this.
I just can't cope with it. You know, I've always had really bad anxiety, and I think I just panicked and just went, I can't handle that. So there's so much pressure being put on you right now and I just can't do it, and did that and then, you know, just dealt with the consequences. But it was definitely, up to that time of life, the most insane thing I had ever done. Yeah, all my friends were just going, what is wrong? Why did you do that?
It's fast today? Bill?
Why did what? What happened? Man?
You're like, I just really wanted to see Bus attacks and it was out at one.
I really wanted to see Mars Attacks.
Man, What is the film you must relate to?
When I was a kid, the movie that I went I related to the main character the most, honestly, was a Christmas story.
I remember that kid.
I remember that kid, just thinking like, oh, I relate to that, you know, like wanting a thing and not knowing how to get it and having a bully and you know the scene where he fights that kid and then he cries. You know, I think it was very, very moving because I'm like, oh, I remember having a moment like that kid hit my sister with a tether ball and I tackled him, and I didn't know how to hit anybody, but I was just kind of hit, you know, slapping the top of his head. But it was you start crying because your emotions are all up and all that. So I just think that that movie. I think it was very moving. I got to watch it with my children, and it was kind of special because I was like, oh, man, I used to watch this all the time when I was a kid because I related to Ralphie.
Did it work for your kids? Yeah?
Yeah, they liked it. They got really involved. I have three daughters, but they were really involved with it. But they also are you know, raised now, so they went, he wants a gun a gun, you know, and you go, yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, no, it's true.
You know.
It's like when I watched The Goonies with them and they were like this is fun, but like when do the girls get to do something? And I go, but the girl got to play piano.
She played piano and she saved the day.
And they were like, that's bullshit.
Okay, you're not wrong.
It was like everything back then was made and geared towards me.
Is the one paper interested in what is the sexiest film you've ever seen.
Bill, that would have to be YouTube Mama Tembion. I would say is the sexiest film I've ever seen. I think all three of them are so incredibly sexy in that movie. Yeah, Mary Belle, if I ever saw her, I would I wouldn't be able to like, I would just like turn around and just like she is so insanely gorgeous and just a phenomenal actress. I mean, what's sexy about it isn't just like with a bit the acting in it. You know, her performance in that is just unbelievable. And both of them, Gale and oh my god, Diego, oh my god, they're so good in that film, and they're all really hot. It is. It is just such a fantastic film. But also and it's fine because I've become friendly with Alfonso Corone. When I talk to him about that one, it's like, weird, you can't really tell him like that is the sexiest film I've ever seen.
It's so say, I think it's one of my favorite endings to a film. That film. Yeah, I think he look is really Yeah, it's really.
I think that movie is just also a kind of like just guys at that age. And because I am I was the age of those guys when they moved. I mean they're in their early twenties and then as old I was when that film came out, some around their age and just masculinity and they're trying to be you know, the's just these morons and if she comes in and they just again, it wasn't messaging, it wasn't too on the nose. It was just a feeling and a vibe of the whole thing that was just so emotional and incredibly sexy. I mean, the end of that film when she's dancing into the camera is just that is just so unbelievably sexy. But also like works for the character and wife. They're all getting drunk together and all this tension, the tension in that movie. There's so much sexual tension in that movie, but also what's happening with the characters, like really tragic.
Weren't they given I believe that they were given basically given money to make a sex film, Like it was a low budget thing. There were like three sex films being made by by company, so it was sort of like, here's some money, go make a sex film. And then it's and then this incredibly profound Beautiful, which is also a sex film, but it's signed much more than that.
Yeah, it really is. I think it's really something. Yeah, I think he's one of the great filmmakers for sure.
Yeah. There's a sub category to this question. Bill Haida traveling by is worrying why then the film we found arousing that you went or he should? I don't know.
Yeah, I couldn't figure that one out if I have one, but I don't know. I'm not trying to be modesty or anything, but I can't think of one. But I mean, I do think I was of the era of the Princess Leia slave outfit, which, again, watching it with my kids makes zero sense. That's why my daughters are out there like why is she in that outfit? And I'm like, again, this movie is geared towards me and Meal like boys, this thing is geared towards boys because it made it makes no sense that she's suddenly in that outfit.
You know, really, well, hasn't he made the address like that? I mean, I'm not saying it's right, but has put this why?
I guess My thing is like, if she's in an outfit, why aren't Luke and Han in different outfits because they're all being taken prisoner.
Because listen, he's frozen. I mean he's clearly no into voice. He's made that fun. He's put one of them on I said, the other one, Yeah.
The other one's on ice, and the other one he doesn't want to see the other one had to sneak in. Yeah. Yeah he's pissed. But yeah, I guess that would be the closest one that you know.
That's fair. That's fair, Bill Hayde. What is objectively the greatest film of all type might not be your favorite, but it's the greatest.
If you're going by storytelling, acting, cinematography, editing. You know, I am everything. The Godfather, the First god Father would probably be pound for pound. That's like when I watched that film, I go, well, everything is working in this thing into like a perfect level. Is it my favorite movie? No, which also says something like you're saying, you know, but I would probably say The Godfather When I watch that, I just go, yeah, this is like if I had to teach a class, you would just show The Godfather and go there it is. There's all the I mean another one, I think I would say another one that's close for me is The Third Man is another one. When I watched that one, I go, well, this one just this just works. This just works on every level. This thing just works.
Yeah, tell me this. What is the film you could all have watched? The miced Ivan iver Get.
I mean it runs a gambit of but loving death, which is a Woody Allen movie. I really like the last detail with Jack Nicholson. Yeah, Taxi Driver one of my favorite films. Knights of Kabiri, a Fellini movie, is one of my favorite films. I watched that a lot, a movie called a Kiiru but Chris Sawa, I watched that a lot. Rosemary's Baby Airplane. You know, these are the movies that if they're on I just sit and watch. I just I have to watch the whole thing.
You know, A lord that Rosemary Baby and Taxi Driver are both quite funny. I think, yeah, they quite. It took me as I got older, I found them funny as in I'm not saying they're funny all the way for but they're like Roseby Baby is like a sort of social I think it's like a film about manners.
It's like the whole Yeah, that movie just wouldn't happen if she wasn't if she said get out of my house.
Yeah, always has to say no, but yes after you sure, okay, Yeah.
And I was trying it. What's so great about that is the role of that woman is that she's so nice and trying to make everyone happy and then the fear of childbirth and she's doing everything right, you know, and she just gets taken advantage of. I just thought it was.
And there's the moment in text Drive but it always thinks funny where he meets the guy in the hotel room to buy guns and the guy then offers him drugs and he's so offended, like, yeah, I'm not invested in stuff. Yeah you think I am.
Yeah, Stephen Prince, Yeah, that guy Stephen Printley goes nicross ox Side not just like I gave you a Cadillac Cadillac what the thing? Yeah, I would say. Even the scene that is an awful, awful scene. And that's what Scorsese is so good at. It was taking really terrible scenes like when he's going to Harvey kit tell about Jody Foster and Harvey Kite tells like the lowest scumbag on the planet, And even that scene has like Scorsese's like, yeah, but that guy's not not funny. You know, he's a immoral piece of shit. But he has to be charming on some dumb level or he couldn't get these moments. So even that scene where he's like, I had a horse got hit by a car, I'm like, I have no idea what he talking about. You know, he's just so strange in that scene that you're like and watching him. And I love watching that scene because I remember liking mean streets and how the roles were reversed where it was Harvey Kitel was a straight guy and de Niro was the crazy guy, and it was just so cool seeing that, And then watching Taxi Driver when I was, you know, thirteen or fourteen and kind of really obsessed with those films.
You know, we don't like to be negative. I don't know if you j but we'll do it quickly. What's the worst film you ever seen?
I will say the first film that I was very disappointed in as a kid was teen Wolf two. Okay, that was the film because I loved Teen Wolf one so much that I went in the theater to see Team Wolf two and it was an abomination.
I forget what's the daily Teabul takes a different sport. He's boxing. He's a boxing Wolf. He's a boxer.
And it's Jason Bateman, who I'm friendly with, who's one of the loveliest human beings on the planet, and he's just kind of in this situation where he's got to be. Basically, they couldn't get Michael J. Fox, so they got Jason Bateman to do the Michael J. Fox bit. And then there's some guys from the first movie in the second movie. But yeah, he's a boxer and it's the exact same story, but at college and he's a boxer.
Is he meant to be the same team Wolf? Is he meant to be meth Day Fox? Or is he he's cousin?
I know, No, it's his cousin, I think, is what it was.
You know.
I only saw it that one time, and I was nine or ten, you know, and just went, this is.
The same movie.
So I was just like that was awful, you know, the first time as a kid, I felt disappointed in the film. I was so excited and I worked on this film. Paul was Simon Peg and Nick Frost. Jason Bateman was in that film and as a rap gift, they gave him a Team Wolf two poster signed by all of us. And I might have written, this was the first film to disappoint me. And Jason is one of the greatest guys and a really phenomenal actor and director and just a great guy. But I felt bad. Yeah, that was my introduction to Jay.
What's your incomed that you're combleted? What's the film that made you laugh the mice?
I mean, definitely Love and Death was one that I loved that made me laugh really hard. Those Zucker Brothers movies like Airplane and Naked Gun still make me laugh. I mean, clearly, I'm a big Coen Brothers fan. If you watch Barry, I mean it was a Coen Brothers type stuff in that. A serious Man especially is the one lately that really makes me laugh. That movie is very funny, and I got to work with no one mad who's in that movie. And so yeah, I would those stand that really those ones really get me, that would do Yeah.
Yeah, Bill Hayder, what's an absolute pleasure you have been? However, when you sky dove at eighty three and you were sky dancing and unlike del close, your parachute did open, and it opened, and you sky danced very slowly down. Everyone was like, wow, you know, he's pretty nimble for an eighty three year old, look at him. Go. Everyone was standing around, well done, well done, Bill Hayden. And you were like, hey, guys. As you floated down, Hey guys, and you landed, you said hey, and you had a heart attack and you died. And I'm walking past because I heard you were doing this sky dance show, and I'm bringing the coffee with me, you know, I'm like, and I see loads of people gathered around and they're shouting at the sky, at the skydiving company. People. They're going, you kill Bill Hayden, and I get the way. Guys, get the way, and I go listen bread. But they didn't. They didn't kill Bill Hayden. He had a heart attack. It just happened to happen exactly the moment he landed and the skydobed. People got exactly, we're really safe, We're good. I don't worry, guys, it's not gonna be a lawsuit. Off you go. Everyone clears and there you are, smashed dead in the ground. And unfortunately, in all the commotion, people were stomping on you, trying to get killed the sky of people. Your body's a mess. So I'm scraping you off the roads, the grass, bits of concrete. I'm having to chop up bits of you just to get you into some stuff. You in the coffin. I stuff you in. But there's more of you than I was expecting. There's bits of the parachute. We couldn't get it alled off anyway. The coffin is now rammed. It is full. There is barely any room in it. There is just enough room to slide one DVD in for you to take across to the other side. And on the other side it's movie night every night. What film were you taking to show the people of heaven when it is your movie night? Bill Hayden, Naked gun? And they will love you for it. You will be very welcim Bill Hayder, What joy, what tree? I'm so grateful you did this.
Oh man, this is fun, man, Oh this is a lot of fun.
Is there anything you would like to tell people to watch, look out for, or listen to in the coming times.
Oh? I liked this movie called You Were Not My Mother. I enjoyed that it was a horror film from Ireland. I thought was pretty good.
This is very generous of you, but I'm talking about your right stuff.
Oh oh oh oh oh, well Berry, that's the only thing I work on. Yeah, watch Berry if you can. My whole life right now is doing that show. But yeah, you should see You and Have a Mother is a great film. Yeah, I thought Kay Morgan the director's name, did a great job.
So you and my Mother and then three seasons of Berry is what you would recommend. Yeah, Bill Hayden, thank you for your time and for your excellent work.
Thank you.
Good day to you. I hope you have a wonderful debt, good night and good day.
So that was a rewind classic with Bill Hayder. Be sure to check out the Patreon page at patreon dot com slash Brett Goldstein, where you'll get extra chat and video of various tiers or otherwise if you fancy leaving a note on Apple podcasts, that would be lovely too, But to make it a review of your favorite film much more fun and more interesting to read for everyone involved. Thank you so much to Bill for greatness and presence on the podcast. Thanks to Scrubius, Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to and this is where Brett thanks me for editing and producing the podcast, and so I say it is a pleasure. Thanks to iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics and Lisa Linen for the photography. We'll be back next week with another rewind classic. But that is it for now. Britt and I and all of us are films to be buried with. I hope you're all very well in the meantime, have a lovely week, take some deep breaths, and now more than ever, be excellent to each other.
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