Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry717. Fearlessly Failing: 6 Month Check in with Lola & Matt
Welcome back
Big Love
Lola x
Get a. I'm Lalla Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter, and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure because I believe it's a chance for us to learn, grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview a different guest about their highs as well as their lows, all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail. Hello, Welcome to the Powder, Hello to the listener. Guess who's on the Potter Rooney.
Your current boyfriend, Matt's my current friend.
That for everybody. That is a TikTok trend that I tried to do with you when you got back from Australia, and I was I'm one of those people that laughs way too early at the joke, so I can't even land the joke.
Yeah, you can't get the punchline out.
I can't get the punchlin out ever, So I made a TikTok about Yeah, but there's this TikTok at the moment where girls are going, oh, I'm making dinner with my current boyfriend, and you watch these guys' faces.
All drop and it's like their husbands and yeah, oh this is.
My current husband and they've got a little kid. It's very funny. Okay, welcome back to the pod. Thank you, Booby, thank you and listener. This is a welcome back episode for the Boss.
Okay.
There's also a little reason for this episode specifically.
Yeah, well, I was like, oh, I don't need a whole welcome back episode. There's a reason for it. Okay, there's a reason for it.
So I want I did this when I got back from Australia because I got back how much before you, like.
Five weeks before me? What'd you do?
Sorry?
Okay, okay, cock, go get the bat trying to landed joke that I can't even get get it out?
Sorry, okay, Sorry for everyone that has had twenty seconds of laughter for no reason. Okay, So the reason I wanted to.
Say, Lola obviously had something funny to say, we're digress and then and then just laughed at her own joke in her head before she could get her out.
And I can't. I can't now that I've done.
It, and you're holding up a giant red paper post the paper.
Because I want to do this with you, because it is we're recording this in the middle of the year and at the end of the year. I do that male Robin seven questions then when you take a bit of stock. So I want to take a bit of stock with you halfway through the year. We've you spent two and a half months in Australia.
Yeah, maybe almost three.
Three months in Australia. I spent a month in Australia and came straight back because of the pilot, which has been fun. So I think we do a check in on like being back in LA but I also want to do and invite you, the listener, to do a stock take for the middle of the year. This was all inspired by my friend Schanew or our friend Schanow, who's an actress that lives out here and she's.
Just done a friend. I invited her to a gig tomorrow and she's like, no, I hate you, I don't want to go.
Okay, that joke is an even funny boss, because the truth is she has an big audition tomorrow anyway, so plans with their mum Yes, oh my god, boss. So basically it's about doing a stock take. So all the questions that I'm going to ask the boss, you can write these down at home and ask yourself the same questions. But first I want to do a little welcome back to la How do you feel?
I feel good?
Highlight of Australia you can give me three?
Very hard to be honest, I think obviously, Byron. Yeah, we love it like favorite place on Earth, you know, our home. Everything we love about home in Australia. Yeah, it's our home. Love everything about Byron. Loved being there, Love being there with you, my beloved, love seeing our friends. There was that the highlight?
Would you say that was just one of the highlights that that.
Was one of the highlights of Australia you said three highlights? So that that obviously, really just being with you is a highlight. Always in hard work though, yeah, but in holiday mode, being with you like we were, you know, certain parts of it were holiday mode.
We've just booked a little holiday in Palm Springs.
Yes we did. And then third unexpected highlight And obviously this came about because of my changing plans, but I ended up going back and staying with my parents for a month.
This is while you're waiting for you visus, correct.
Yes, So that ended up being a highlight as well because I got to spend that time with my family and I saw my nephews like so much, and I got to hang out with them and my niece, sorry nephews and niece and take them out and do fun things and really connect with them. And that ended up being a highlight too. And three that was three being with you in general in holiday modes and like some relaxing days, we went to the beach swam and then yeah, three the unexpected extra time of the family.
And I'm only bringing this up because you bought this up in the shower last night, okay, which you'd had a little bit of red wine while I was You showed me. I hope your parents listen to this podcast because you showed me a new addition to your arm.
Oh I'm going to say something so much ruder than that.
No, so boss has got what have you got?
I've got a little tattoo on my own and what sort of it's a little.
Berry and what's my name?
Berry?
Lola Berry. And so this whole time since he got it, he's like, no, no, it's not, it's not dedicated to you. It's really it's just like what you represent me, which is about facing fear. That's what he said. Legit, guys, that's what he keeps telling me. Last night, three or four venos deep, we're in the shower and he looks me dead in the eyes. I got that tattooed for you, for you, because you're my beloved. Do you know you said that to me?
I know I said it to you, but it to be really honest with you.
Yes, he's not making eye contact with me right now, just so.
You don't know.
Okay, now he is. Now he is.
The tattoo is for you, and it represents you, but it represents you as a person that got me out of my I suppose comfort zone and into the bigger world. Okay, that's it is you. But that's the reason why I got it to remind myself of like to be fearless. Yeah, where I came and I'm not going to go fucking fearless written on my arm Like that's icky totally.
So just we've got that on recording one more time. The tatoo is a dedication to me. Well yes, and no, oh, here we go, here's the dancing.
If you're ever not my current girlfriend, then it's just the cute little berry on my.
Arm that will always remind you of me.
Maybe maybe maybe not, maybe I dislike berries. Well, your highlights come on.
Of the I've got mine written down off the trip. Yeah, okay, so I've written one of the highlights. I wrote flying Business Class with Boo, which we did on points. I've written here feet in the Ocean with Boo, Nature Time with Boo, and then I listed some of my favorite things within Byron like woods, Doma, acupuncture, Mayo, se and koalas Lighty what else farmers Market are really good things.
Yeah.
I got gifted all that spell clothing. That was a cool highlight. We saw Byron's sunsets. I did some hiking at Sunrise which went really really really special when we were staying, we were staying in Byron Town. So that was my highlights. But okay, so these questions are I want these to be a like of the year. Yeah, so we've done you know, we've been here for the fires. We've been here like so like in and I'm gonna ask you these seven questions. So welcome back to La Woo. We missed you. Okay, but we're six months through the year.
Which is weird, weird, and I also feel like it's still the start of the year. It doesn't I.
Know it feels like March to me, don't you feel.
Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like.
Okay, so we're going to ask these more general and to you, the listener. You can write these questions down and ask these to yourself. So question one, of the last six months, name three highlights? Oh, my lord, not just the trip. The trip can be one. Yeah, me to go. I'll tell you why.
It feels hard because the first three months of this year I feel like last year.
I know so because we went to Australia.
Because Australian and then that felt like we no like the start of the year. You go first though, Okay.
Three highlights of the last six months for me would be shooting the Pilot because that was my first paid actor job. How cool. Another career one would be signing I've signed with an amazing theatrical red beautiful Holly. Another, I would say our Byron time was a real highlight, and I loved recording the pods in Australia, but also like we recorded filmed pods in La last week. That was fucking epic. Yeah, And then I would say you and me stuff. I would probably say, like right, I don't know if you remember this, but right before we went to Lau and I had a little whiskey date on the roof and watch the sunset went to Australia before we went to Australia up on our roof here when in la in February. Okay, like just little dates, you and me, you know, a little little home, little pockets and magic. But yeah, yeah with you and obviously in Byron too. I loved that we splurged a bit and got that Airbnb and Watergoes yeah, which I fought for a bit.
Water Goes. It was not in water Goes.
Oh where was it?
Where was it not in water Goes? Right in Byron. It's really close to like Dolphins Beach, And no, what is that Suffolk? Yeah, close to like Suffolk.
There's a special beach name there, Whites.
No, No, it's Dolphins Beach. We're very close to it.
And we saw the sun set there and it was like a rainforest where we stayed. Yeah, no, like it was all green and lush and all that. Yeah, dolphins, that's Dolphins Beach.
I'm pretty sure.
Okay, I love that.
That's nice. Filtered water, filtered water.
I totally booked that again.
Yeah, it was good.
Okay, Okay, what your highlights are you?
Okay, well, yeah, definitely. Look, I'm actually going to be real. When we were gearing up to go back to Australia, I was not. I was kind of like, fuck, if I didn't have to go back, I don't want to go back. You did say that I wasn't like ready to go back, but I had to, obviously because I had to do some stuff in Australia, which we can get too later. But it did become a highlight. King of Byron and realizing that, like, I mean, I missed it, but how much I missed it, and how much I love being there, and you know, it's so easy, it's easier. I miss our house like all those things. Another highlight of the year. I've obviously like work and everything wise. I've loved everything that I've been able to do a lot of, like creative projects and this.
And that, and you've been NonStop working.
Yeah, what would you like? Oh my Jesus Christ, I'm just going to ignore that. No, that's not going anywhere.
Are you keeping it in the pod?
Yeah?
People think that's rude.
Well, okay, did we go to did we do any trips at the start of the year. I don't remember.
Yeah, I did TV, remember I did kat La and then we went to Joshua Tree that day after the fires.
Yeah that was fab? Was that fab? I was really unwell though, Remember I had like the end of like a really bad cold because of Yeah, I think the air and the fires and stuff like that. But we still went to Papkin Harriet's.
And was amazing. We're going back, yeah, mum, Yeah, can we get some more of that?
Yes, we will get a bottle of that whiskey. Okay, So yeah, I don't know that I have like three specific highlights. I think a big highlight for me is, yes, just being able to when we have a moment together to just sit, go on the roof and chill for a minute. I agree because I think that our lives are quite busy and we have shit on like every day, every fucking week, and if you don't take the time to just stop and do that, then your whole life like passes you by. And even to be honest, like being in Australia, I was like I was quite stressed a lot of the time, and I was trying to work and I was doing all these other things, and I was like, did it really change the outcome? Feeling that stressed? You know, like I didn't need to be that stressed. I didn't need to be that worried for the same exact outcome.
The whole thing is now worried often over that won't ever happen, is the whole thing about.
And it's like I wish that I worried a little bit less and was a bit more present. I feel like in some of the days, not like obviously the whole time, but you know, sometimes I was like, no, I was a bit not present because I was feeling stressed.
So I think a lot of people can relate to that though.
Yeah, so I think worry less, have the moments we can just sit together, be present, enjoy I love that. Watch your sunset, little can noodling, can noodling. Yeah, okay, what's you low lights?
Fires?
Yeah?
But I stressful. Do we want to admit what you did?
Got ship faced?
Yeah? He went to our friend's house. This is not a word of a lie. I'm working at the Yogre studio, slaving my guts out. My days are like nine hour days plus an hour is way driving and He's like, I'm just going to head to Sam and Nard's house for a little little fino. Okay, cool, no props. Yeah, I'm such a chill girlfriend. No probs, don't worry. I'll totally be home by the time you're back from work. Cool, no probs, get back from work now. Meanwhile, I've started to get sick from the air quality, and so I'm finding it really hard to breathe. I've got humidifiers going at this stage, air filters, and I'm working myself up. I'm stressing myself. You are and I'm like, get home, and I'm like, don't worry. I knew how to acting school. I was just learning my lines of acting school. I had a super eaty guy. Was just trying to like do all the hell things feel really like good, knew I had to go to work.
You're really calling me out here.
This is not a word of a lie. I also am scared of vomit. Yeah, we just pop that in there. Old mate gets home at two am, after I've checked in like three or four times. You okay, I'll just have one more glass.
I was communicative the whole time.
I was your timeline's just got warped.
Yeah, but it's not like I was not answering or writing back. He was exactly what I wear. I was what I was doing, who I.
Was with with legends.
You're with legends, absolutely yeah, like our good friends. Like not a single moment of like m I A.
No, there was absolutely nothing shady.
In his behavior. I thank you. I just want that on record. Yeah.
It just you know, when you have a drink and it just the time.
Mike, it goes right go, You're going to say that and then I'm going to defend myself.
Okay. So he gets home and lord knows why, makes himself a fizzy magnesium for nighttime. So he's got all that delish fino churning around in his stomach because at a really early dinner he eats like a sparrow anyway you do it, not loads sometimes, then has fizzy magian, then gets into bed and then not twenty seconds later, is hurling his guts up in the bathroom and I'm like, fucking hell, here we go. So I hate vomit. I'm like, all right, be a good girlfriend. I go fill up a glass of water for him. This is after it hasn't stopped for twenty minutes, by the way, it's not like a one and done situation. And I'm like, fucking hell. Then all of a sudden, he goes quiet right, goes quite in the bathroom, and he has a tendency to lock himself in the bathroom. Heaven bit. I don't know why anyway, because I like to walk in office. So finally I was like, okay, it sounds like he's not in a spewing fiasco right now. I knock on the door. Boo boo, nothing booboo. This is like in the middle of the night. I opened the door, not a word of a lie. He's sprawled out, He's got his boxer shorts on, ball hanging out, one leg, asleep against the wall next to the toilet bowl. And I go this. He's like, oh, hello, wakes up, booboo. Go what happened? Do we have one too many venos? He looks at me dead in the face and says, oh, no motion sickness from the tesla on the way home? Are you kidding? I wanted to throw that water at you. Didn't just gave you the water.
I was like, come on, go on, there you go, all right, you've completely under the bus. No.
This is like I would tell anyone, this isn't okay.
This is first of all, let's just put this out there. This is not normal behavior and has happened twice to me. This is true.
I will admit I have taken my drinking too far at times.
You've you've we're equal, we are equal. In the last eight years, we have both had two occasions each, right, which is not bad, but two occasions each in the last eight years that we've both had a little too much to drink.
And of those two fifty percent were in natural or in disasters. Mine was during COVID, yeah, and yours was during the fires, and so naturally, let's be real pressure reliever.
Yeah, exactly. So the fires, I'd been inside. I hadn't been out for god knows how long. I haven't left the apartment, I haven't whatever. And then our friends like they were like, yeah, just come over like wine, and I'm like great, Like I'm not doing anything.
No, And I think, look to be real when you're in a disaster, like to feel connected to other people and to kind of like I think, the Australian way.
So the thing is, yes, we did have a few wines and then did you say the wild turkey got came out well, and then two more bottles of wine got delivered, so then we were basically had a bottle each. And then after that the buffalo trace came out.
Of a blow. So that is that's Kentucky bourbon, right.
Yeah, it's what they have on your lifstone, you know. Yeah. Yeah, there's like a bar scene there, like I'll have a buffalo trace. I've never had one anyway, So I had a few whiskeys, and I was not in that exact moment when I left the house, I was like just good, you know, like I wasn't like drunk and stumbling. I was just like I knew I'd had a few drinks, but I was like very looseid, I was very normal, right, Like at no, at no point was I like a messy or anything like that. So I called myself an uber A get in the uber talking to the guy la. You know, they're a little bit rough and they're driving, and I did start feeling a little bit nauseous in the car, and I was like, oh, my stomach does feel a little bit churning. But I'm very aware and I'm like, okay, I'll be home in five minutes. It's fine.
Just you know, at what point did you think magnesium was a good idea?
Yeah? Well then I thought, well, I've been drinking a bit, a bit dehydrated. I better have some magnesium, so I have the fizzy drink. And yes, immediately that set you off. Well, I got into bed and as soon as I laid down on my back, then my entire world started spinning and I was like, Noah, I'm done. I have to get up and get this out. No. Yeah, yeah, I think the worst part about all that is I woke up the next day Rider's range.
I know, and that yeah you did, and he was happy as larry, and I was like, I could throttle you.
Right now, being like I was fine, okay, so yeah, okay, anyway you've.
Just like no, but let's talk about let's talk about.
I don't have any low lights. That's actually what this story has come from. Really, that's not a low light for me. I was like, okay, that was a fuck up. And in my thirty nine years, right, I've I've vomited three times from alcohol. Actually no, that's a lie. Four times from alcohol, and I can tell you all four times in my entire life. I've never been like an over drinker.
No, no, no, we're both well. I definitely even less.
I was like once when I was sixteen, once like when I was like, was it like uzo? When you were sixteen was like DLS? And then once at like twenty three, twenty four maybe or twenty five, and then you're like thirty two and then thirty eight.
Do you know you love this? You know? My good friend Tim, Yeah, in Melbourne, we used to both both buy a bottle of blush. It's like Shampogne champagne, and one day I threw up. Anyway, Okay, can I say my low lights the last six months? So for me when with traveling, one thing I learned we traveled around a lot. We were staying with a lot of different people. I don't like the feeling of feeling out of control with food. I think that's like a lag from having an eating disorder in my twenties. So I noticed that cropped up a little bit when we were traveling around all the time. I would say like twenty to thirty percent. I'd be like, oh, I'm struggling right now, and I'd say it to you. I'd be like I'm I'm I don't feel or I would feel like in an environment where I didn't have control of my choices and that would upset me. But I'm doing a lot of work with my therapists now around that actually, but that for me was hard and I did actually and I only know this I would have totally forgotten only not because I've written it down. I binged in Melbourne. Do you remember that?
Not?
I think I Well, it says binged in Melbourne.
Was I there? Yeah?
Yeah, I think I would go to the chocolate dile like Woolies or whatever, or coals and get all those keen yeah, but then we get marvelous creation.
Yeah, there was a few occasions.
Yeah, but then I would also get treats and it was just kind of like old behavior from when I had eating problems. Yeah, so that was definitely a down.
I understand that, like even me staying and I was with friends on my own and as welcoming and as incredible and can do whatever you want when you stay there in their house, it's not your own space, it's not your own house. So like an element of you always does feel a little bit not full in control. Yeah, and totally like with my parents, no, because obviously I grew up in that house.
Yeah, even when I'm back at Dad's as opposed to mums, I feel it's easier for me. Obviously. That is like a chill bean too. You feel all right Dad's place, don't you, Yes, dads yeah, whereas mum love you mum, but a little bit more controlling and so we don't have as much control over our time, you know, which is like to be fair, probably where a bit of my control stuff has come from as well. But I would say like that the fires were hard for me because I worked closer to the specific palisades, Like that was a really hard I struggled a bit mentally, I would say that week. Yeah, any other low lights probably for me, just with the acting stuff, like sitting in the like obviously you're sitting in a lot of rejection energy and it's so fine when you know, no, no, it's just a numbers game. You're going to get it, yes eventually. But on some days your brain tricks you and doubt will win, and so I think those days are hard, and I've also found it and there's no secret here I talk about on the pod direct I find it very hard to balance sometimes working at the Yolk Studio with like being able to audition and take a callback and you know, have really good opportunities. You've got to be able to kind of like be very malleable and fluid with your time when I've got to set structure and schedule to stick to as well, And sometimes I feel like I miss out on opportunities. That's my phone. I don't know why it's going off so much, so that would I would say like that's something that I'm still working on. But I've made a deal that I'm doing therapy every two weeks now because I think that'll help me build massively clearer boundaries and structure around what's important to me.
Yeah. I had a bit of self doubt creep in this past week too, to be honest. Really, Yeah, what from well, like see the show that I'm working on. Yeah, there's two other composers on the show. Yeah, and they're doing different things that I'm doing, So yeah, like doing I'm doing like the underscore and they're doing someone like the moral orchestral and other bits. And even I was like, oh am I good enough? Am I really as good as they are? And I'm like I because obviously we're very different. So I very much try to never compare myself to other people because I don't do what they do and they don't do what I do. Yeah, but then I was like, oh am I actually good enough to be working with them and doing it?
Is it because people that write more orchestral music are often more classically drained?
Yeah, they are, which I'm not, Which does.
That sometimes make you feel.
Yeah, a little bit, But I do just try to go back to the fact that I'm like, what I do is very individual to me.
And I imagine it's extremely intuitive, and so you need the doubt to be fucking out the door in order to do the best work you need to do, right.
Yeah. Yeah, So like obviously I played my strengths and not compare, but I probably did do a bit of that this week.
You also, when you're in Australia, did a lot of therapy, didn't you?
Yea once a week, did every single week?
How what was like if you could say, like from like day one to like I think you've got four or five sessions into like that fifth session, like did you feel like a sense of clarity or ease or.
Absolutely yeah, because I started feeling like my anxiety returning in Melbourne, and I realized that a lot of that came from Obviously, we haven't lived in Melbourne for I don't even know now.
We've never lived together in Melbourne. Do you know that we've lived in talking together? Okay, yeah, but we've never we started dating in Melbourn we never lived together.
But so, but we haven't even lived in Melbourne for the better part of five years. So I feel like some of the old anxiety triggers and memories and things came back while I was there. Like, obviously we've being back to Melbourne heaps, but I was never never been long enough to I suppose reflect and yeah, spending a whole month, I was like, oh, maybe I am Actually there was feeling more anxious and there was a few little spots in my anxiety that I probably hadn't dealt with and faced.
Oh how good is that?
Though? Yeah? So then like now definitely, like, yeah, next time we go back, I'm like, I've definitely processed all that stuff. How good? Yeah? But yeah, so that's probably like the biggest difference.
I'm proud of you.
Yeah, And I think it's like very location based, you know, like you can't just run away from your problems, like your problems follow you. But being here, you're not reminded of previous anxiety because you're not in that space. And when I was back in those spaces, yeah.
It was like it was really easily reactivated.
Yeah exactly. I was like I remember being here like as a young adult and having anxiety here anyway, So curl. But the cool thing is is, yeah, it works, work through a lot of cuts.
Well, my next question is lessons. What lessons would you say you've learned in the last six months.
Hmm.
You go first for me, and this is obviously still a biggie, but boundaries. I'm getting better and better at and being really comfortable in going either no, thank you or I'm going to need some time to think about that, which sounds so easy. But when you're in the moment and somebody has got another outcome that they want to happen, and they need you to say yes, and it's not necessarily like them manipulating you or anything, it's just easier for them if you say yes in the moment, it's really hard to have the clarity to go, oh, no, thank you, that doesn't serve me. Oh, thank you so much. I'm going to need to think about that.
Though.
It's like saying it on a pod like this is one thing, but like being under the pressure of like being a bit tired, being in a different environment, someone being like, it's going to really help me if you do this thing. Yeah, Like it's so hard to have the courage to do that in real person. So I feel like in real time, I feel like my boundaries has been like a huge thing that I've been working on in the last six months, and I think that's something I'm going to work on more and more. Like my mum is amazing but wanted me to go to New York with her, and we just crunched the numbers and I was like, I can't do New York and Memphis and Nashville and Joshua Tree, like we need to make some calls as to what we do together. And you know, her initial response was, oh, but you promised, do you remember that?
Yeah, which you didn't.
No, no, but and old me would have been, oh, fuck, okay, I'll just find a way to make it happen. Whereas like we actually sat in the discomfort and had a converse and then we're like, no, let's do like Memphis. I've never been. Let's do an elvistrip. Mum's mad Elvis fad. And I think for me, the boundary thing has been a big one. And I don't know if you remember, but a lot of friends wanted to catch up with us, and I said no, quite a lot, just because I was like, there is no time for that. And I think that like the older we get, like we're both thirty nine, and the more you realize that time is really our only currency and you've got to be careful about like how you spend it and where you spend it, and like I know, for me, one of the highlights of Australia was going to an MCG match with Dad. But that meant saying no to a couple of mates. Yeah, that's right, and that meant I was less available to other people as a result. But like Dad's dad and I email once a week. We're pimpals. And because he just doesn't like FaceTime and WhatsApp and all those things. And the first thing he wrote to me when I got to LA was I loved going to the MCG.
With you, Like it was really importantly shared his passion.
He loves that ye allbit a terrible match and they were thrash and like it's the only time you'll ever see my dad curse. But yeah, I think I think also like knowing, like knowing that I was feeling a little bit out of control like food and our space wise, and then pulling that trigger at the end of the trip to like have that Airbnb and Byron and make our own meals. Yeah, I know that that had a huge impact on my mental health. And so I think like staying in charge of my own time is really really and investing in ourselves. Like we are seeing Mum and Joshua Tree in a few weeks. You and I just pulled a trigger and to do a night extra in Palm Springs, just you and me at a wellness retreat resort like those kind of things. Then I've booked myself some a of eighting massage.
You've got to have those, even if it's just like one extra night, Like you've got to have that.
Which is a beautiful boundary piece in a way.
But also for couples and people like you don't even have to go and spend money, no, you know, you can find something just to take you out of your normal routine and space and do it, and I think that's important.
I agree.
I definitely think like my boundaries have gotten even gotten that's bad English. My boundaries have gotten stronger, and I always had fantastic I think that even now, I'm just very comfortable and like no, thank you.
Yeah, so you're better. I'm like, he's so you are so confident though, whereas like, as someone that has had an indish or I think confidence is my first thing to sway.
I think though that I think about it as and as someone that's had extremely bad anxiety, extreme like you've seen me have the worst anxiety. I refuse to ever put myself in a position that would make me like feel like that or triggered or whatever it is. So if if there is something that I'm like that is absolutely not for me, I'm like no, And like you know, even if Pepe's like, oh, come on, let's do this, I'm like, no, yeah, you're really good. And to be honest, if they feel very funny, what does that mean? It means I don't like it, antonia. If they feel uncomfortable by you saying no, that's their fucking shit. Yeah, like you're good friends would never make you feel like shit, or your family or whatever for you saying no.
No, there's a really good thing going around as well about like your good friends celebrate you wins. You're not your friends like get a bit jealous of you wins. Yeah, and I think like late thirties you figure that shit out real quick.
Yeah, but as well, like even yeah, I mean all my friends have never been like pressure friends. But if anyone's been like, oh, hey, I'm not drinking tonight, or and it's like no one cares, you know, there's no like, oh, come on, just do this, it's like, which, no one fucking cares. Do whatever you want, live your own life.
Yeah. Anyway, you're very supportive of that with me too, by the way. You teach me that even we've got a gig tomorrow night and I couldn't go unless I got in a bit of trouble at what, like it would have been hard for me to get the time off work, And you're like, okay, well then let's sort it out so that there's someone else exactly.
That's fine. Yeah, I'm not bothered.
No, you are amazing like that. Okay, So the next question. So the first question is highlight, second question low lights, third question of lessons, which we've just talked about. Fourth question, What am I going to stop doing for the second half of the year that you've done the first half of the year you don't want to? You know what I mean? What are you going to stop doing?
Oh? I stop doing. I'm going to stop feeling like I need to wait for things to come to me and go after more Ooh nice, Yeah, create more, create more opportunity.
Yeah.
Nice, Because I realized that I've always anything that has been successful or you know, beneficial financially career. It's like an opportunity that I've created in a certain way.
Yeah, I love that. I wrote What am I going to stop doing? Shit I don't want to do?
Yeah? I love that.
And I've said I'm going to stop saying yes when I really want to say no, and I'm going to start investing in myself and my own space.
Yep. Maybe adding the overthinking.
Yeah, I'm an overthinker. I'm a realer. It's actually been really interesting booking stuff with mum because Mum's also an overthinker, and I had to stop her the other day. We'll planning our Graceland tour, which I've organized for a birthday, and she was like, what should we do? Go what time? And like she was like we should we go at ten or should we go at eleven? I don't know, girl, what do you think? And I go, hey, you do this thing that I I do. I'm like, you go back and forth on an idea about fifteen times too many. I do the exact same thing and I'm telling you now stop. And it was so nice because it wasn't me like being bossy boots with her. It was me being like, I do the same thing. I get it, I get it. Let's just lock something in.
And how much time is lost on indecision? It has to And it's like, what's the fucking difference ten or eleven? Like in the grand scheme life, you could have done both and it's not going to affect you in the future. So it's like, why spend all that fucking time worrying about like such a small fucking detail. And that's what I say to you as well. I'm like I do it all the time, and I'm like, who cares?
But I also thought, like even we were booking Palm Springs, before and I'm booking that aubatic massage and I was like, I did to book it for two or three? And then in my brain I play out, oh, no, we're going to get there at two. Oh we're gonna want a little sauna in a little all hang together, and you're like yeah, great, yeah great, Whereas I'm like, or do I want to have this message first? I play it all out in my head.
And realistically, what's the fucking difference?
Doesn't matter.
You're gonna get there, you're gonna have a great massage, you're gonna be in the room. We're gonna have a great fucking time. I thought you're gonna say something a bit ruder, We're gonna fuck So people do that, boss, that's how babies made.
You could say like make sweet love, make whoopee, not not woopy.
I think I think that the decision paralysis that people have, and I think that I used to have it too, to be honest, Like I remember trying to organize things. I'm like, okay this or that, or I still get a lot of what time should I fly? To be honest, I had a lot of decision paralysis flying from Byron to Melbourne.
And and Melbourne to La and I was like, please book it on this day and You're like, but there's less chance beginning upgrade because it looks like this less and I'm like, you're going to get the upgrade exactly nothing, right.
But we had one call about it, right.
You were absolute yeah, because I was starting to feel anxious about it.
You like that out on you. Of course that's your job though, But the decision was made within the hour right of being presented with the three options. Yeah, we just in that discomfort. Yeah, but at the end of the day, the decision was made. The best suit the time that you can pick me up. So yeah, that's how the decision was made. And make you a little poster rooney. So but the thing is like, although I was indecisive about Friday, Saturday or Sunday, once I incorporated you into that decision making, you were like, well this bests me. And I was like, okay, there's the best chance for an upgrade on this day, but there's still a chance on this day, but that suits you better. So I was like, that's the day that we do it. And did you get the upgrade? Yes? I did on my points huh. On my points, my points, I'll my points. We'll see anyway. So yeah, but yeah I had it as well going from Byron to Melbourne because I couldn't like it was really you get a crazy delay. Yeah they don't have a big delay, but anyway, it doesn't matter. But yeah, I get it anyway, keep the next question because.
Question five, okay, question five, what are you going to start doing?
Hmm?
Drop me to kick it off, because I think gives you juices and I've obviously filled this out and taken the time prioritize happiness and freedom, movement, health goals like you united did it, waits at the gym and then the other thing since obviously, as you know, I have a massive crash on Marcus Mumford. Yeah you know, yeah, because when I watch my mumfd and son's tiktoks at night, You're like, are you watching your boyfriend?
Yeah?
Absolutely, But this has learnt from him. When he wrote an album, he said, I'm going to set myself the task to write as honestly as I can and to essentially just be relentlessly honest, and that is something I want to live from that space, to be relentlessly honest. I think you and I live that way.
Yeah, yeah, we do.
But to really like sit in that outside of just you and I is something I want to.
Aspire to love that. Yeah, what's the question again, what are you going to start doing? Ah? I think that I still need to continue to believe in myself more.
Well, the next question is what are you going to continue to do? Well?
I think, yeah, continue to believe myself more. What am I going to start to do? I don't know. That's a hard one. I feel like I feel like I'm in a good flow of taking care of myself. Yeah, yeah, maybe do you know what?
Oh?
No, more, I think I probably need to get back to gym a little bit more.
That's what you're going to continue to do? I would say? I would say jim yoga movement.
Because I was doing all that in Australia and then this last week I've done.
Nothing besides warehouse. We've been house sitting as well.
Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to start to do. I'm going to leave that question because there's nothing that's really jumping out.
And then continue to do is the movement stuff?
Yeah? Like therapy, Yeah, therapy, the movement stuff and like believe in myself more.
Do you want to know it was on my list to contribute it? You're going to laugh, Be in nature, continue being in acting school, continue therapy, make time to hang with dad. Laser that's anti aging, skin laser, podcasting, botox that's also anti aging. See sunrises and sunsets. And one thing I really want to continue doing whenever we travel to Australia is starting to end in Myron Bay.
Which we are next trip. Yeah, well we're starting ding. We haven't decided to.
So the final question of this is what can you start today to start making the changes you want to change. So we've done one of them. We've done weight training today at the gym. We've gone out for an air one Healthy Eats.
Talk about the smooth that you had Cowboy Colostrum.
Yeah, well we're members so we get a free smoothie once a month. It's so good. And this was like a cold brew coffee with colostrum maple syrup. It was like assalted maple. What do you say? It tasted like tear me, Sue, It tastes like can you I've also been going down the tiktop rabbit hole of Dove Cameron her Italian boyfriend Dominico. What's his name?
I don't know. I've seen the videos.
Can you teach? So there's a few things where he teaches, like a couple of cool Australia Italian sayings. Did you know about the sleepiness one when your body feels like it's overcome sleeper or something?
Non?
Do you know the saying that people yell out of Italian football? Yeah?
That's that's like it's pretty insulting you say in Italian. No, I don't remember what it is in Italian, but it's basically like f you and your dead relative. Yeah, it's like pretty insulting what Eddie says, don't mess with Italians?
Yeah, so I guess like, do you have anything like like you just taught us Nemi piacci.
That just means I don't like it?
How do you say it.
Nice?
Can you teach us just like tim more littlies?
Please?
I don't know, you don't like?
Well, I feel like you should have prepared me for this because like.
What about isn't there like the one beautiful this beautiful life?
Yeah, that's that's like pretty common.
What's what's like like like there's gonna be like a nice saying like I love you very much, your beautiful thing. Oh my god, he's rolling his eyes come on.
Like Italians like, I don't know. They say a lot of things like like even the guy, and then in the interviews like you know, Stigazzi like, which means like the.
Dicks, but it also means it doesn't matter.
Yeah, you know, and it's it's like a lot of things like that. You know, but people say, like, you know, in English, you say, oh my god, it's like Madonna. Yeah, you know, so they have they have those kind of being home, did you speak a little bit more Italian? Yeah, a little bit, not heaps.
So your parents are fluent, Yeah, you know.
No, it's not as fluent anymore, that's for sure.
I'm gonna keep telling we better take me to Italy one day.
Yes, we'll go to Italy one day.
So the stuff that you're going to start doing today is movement, keeping up with a therapy, working on yourself. Is anything you want to achieve in the next six months, Yes, that you're comfortable sharing here.
No, I really want to get off the ground. Yeah, some extra stuff in America and creative projects that you and I are working on. And just I know that, like, this is not your style, but my style is like, let's create a lot and then see what works.
Of Yeah, whereas I'll hyper focus on that.
Yeah, you hyper focus on one thing, where I'm like, let's just make fifty things and if let's hope that one of them like pops off.
But I think that what works with that is like he'll then send me his fifty ideas and then I'll really like.
I realized that I'm very macro and you're very micro.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, So I'm very like big picture overall goal.
So you're more of a director's brain. I'm more of a producer's brain. Remember on the podcast and a way we're talking about their differences being one was more like actor director, yeah, and the other one was more producer writer.
Yeah. It's kind of like say, say, if we're writing something, yeah, I'll like come up with a big idea. I'll like have like the big idea or the big idea of a character. Yeah, and then you break down every single little character development trait, fucking what colors their fun toenails, you know, where I couldn't give a shit about that, but you develop something from an overall picture, like, so I probably do outline and then you color it in with complexity.
I would agree with that it's dricking. That's because of writing books, and so I've had to do have the ideas because I used to pitch many ideas to publishers and they'd be like, go away and do that one, and then I just deep dive and essentially like get really specific.
Yeah, So I love doing the overall thing and then handing it to you to do the bits and bobbos.
So your goals for the next six months is to get a few things off the ground start building a career in America, correct, real. I love that so nice. I feel like you're in a really good place for that to happen, like as in, like all the stuff that we've just talked about that's happened in the last six months to set you up perfectly and you I'd love to book another acting gig, a good or something really solid. Probably, I think commercial is just a matter of time because commercial, basically you're not necessarily booked on your ability. You're more booked on the way you look or sound, So commercial I'm not concerned about. That's one hundred percent of money. A numbers game money too, but a numbers game where is getting booked something like on a TV show or a sitcom or any of that. That's much more chemistry testing how you're showing up in an audition, how you do with the callback. So I'd love to book something really, really meaty, and also like I want to focus on my next goal now for the next month, or you'll be getting a theatric I've got a great theatrical rep in Australia now, but I want to get that in America because I think the issue I've got right now is I'm not getting into the rooms. I'm getting into the commercial rooms. I mean into the voiceover rooms no props, and need to be getting into those, like be able to be doing auditions for TV shows that are casting right now, because one thing that I've learned, until you've got the reps, no one knows you even exist. Yeah, exactly, And so that is like the next big phase for me is like American theatrical. But like I just got an email right before we went on this saying that my voiceover real had been submitted for a big ad campaign in Australia. Great you know what I mean. So that's what comes from having good reps. So I think for me it's reps and then booking the next acting gig and just being super ready for that. But I'm also really excited boss for this pod, Like this pod turns six in August, Like I think this pod has got legs to grow in America and you know, go to this next phase we're doing. Like as my beautiful pod manager classes, she's like, you're doing everything right, everything's lined up and completely ready to go. So I think it's just like for me, pod acting reps, what do you reckon? Do that sound good?
Perfect?
And of course love and well thank you for answering those questions. It was like I'm not the mood for this, No, I was in the mood. I was like what, like he didn't you didn't give me like heads up, heads up? Really what's going on? And I was like, what's what's my story's going to be? Like it's not that interesting. It was a format to today, yeah, but thought it was like you're going to be like, oh, tell us about the contilate and tell us about which you can't really talk about really about general sense, but it's just just know the overall thing is a big process that takes time and it's tedious and paperwork and money. And yeah, someone said to me the other day, LA is a great place to be for the privileged if you've got an idea and your privilege. And I was like, even the visas to get here coross a bomb, Like they like, we could have put that towards a second property. Yeah, well we a car, a beautiful car.
Well we could have bought a fucking.
Yeah, a couple probably if you put our two visas together.
No, probably like one, but yeah, oh.
Really either way. My point is is, like it is an investment in and even to like have the money to have the VA, like the stuff.
Yeah, yeah it is. It's an investment into yourself. If this is a place you want to be for work and life and career and all that kind of stuff, then it does take an investment. So you do have to bet on yourself.
I love that. Yeah, what a good ending. Bet on yourself. Yeah, love you, boot, I'll bet on you any day the week.
Bet on you, boss, love you, love you. Bub bah. Wait that's a.
Wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always, Thank you to our guests and let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollaberry This potty my work for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment and of course spread the laugh
