Many believers feel torn between loving others and protecting their hearts. We’re taught to include everyone, forgive quickly, and keep our doors open—but Scripture also calls us to wisdom and discernment in who we allow to shape our thinking, emotions, and spiritual direction.

In this conversation, we explore the difference between loving people and trusting them equally—and why healthy boundaries aren’t unloving, but deeply biblical.

Author Becky Harling joins us to unpack what emotionally healthy, Christ-centered friendships look like, how to recognize unsafe relational patterns, and how to heal when relationships wound us. Together, we examine how grounding our identity in Jesus frees us to love generously without becoming drained, resentful, or spiritually pulled off course.

This episode provides clarity on:

• why loving everyone doesn’t mean giving everyone equal access to your heart

• how to identify safe, reciprocal friendships

• warning signs of codependency, control, gossip, and emotional imbalance

• how prayer shapes wise relational decisions

• what loyalty and long-term friendship look like in a Christ-centered life

• how to set boundaries without becoming guarded or cynical

• steps toward healing after relational hurt

Resource referenced: Friend-Wise: Practical Ideas for Richer Relationships

Discussion/Reflective Questions:

1. Where have I confused loving people with trusting them equally?

2. Which relationships currently strengthen my walk with Christ—and which leave me spiritually drained?

3. Do I have a small circle of safe, reciprocal friendships where I can be fully known and prayed for?

4. What boundaries might God be inviting me to set so I can love others from a healthy place rather than from exhaustion or fear?

5. When I’ve experienced relational hurt, have I brought that pain honestly before Jesus for healing and wisdom?

6. Who are the voices currently shaping my thinking, emotions, and spiritual direction—and are they aligned with God’s truth?

7. What is one action step God might be inviting you to take having listened to this episode?

Connect with Becky Harling:

On her website

On Instagram

On Facebook

Find Carol McCracken:

On her website 

On Facebook

On Instagram