In every deep relationship, there comes a point where we are asked to give up something of ourselves or change in ways we never anticipated. Who will this make me? What will this love cost? Tembi Locke fell in love with an Italian chef named Saro when she was studying abroad in Italy during college. Their romance was a story for the big screen. (Quite literally. One starring Zoe Saldana.)

A rare illness upended it all. Tembi spent ten years as Saro’s caregiver before he died. In her grief, Tembi took their young daughter back to Sicily to see what of her husband she could find there—in his culture, in his food, and with his family.

In this conversation, Kate and Tembi discuss: 

• becoming the architect of your life 

• the effects of long-term caregiving (both the beauty and the cost)

• who grief makes us

If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: 

• Katherine and Jay Wolf on what caregiving costs us

• Thomas Lynch on how we become who we miss

• John Swinton on living at the speed of love

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.