Today, we’re talking about tragicomedy. And isn’t that all of life? The absurdity. The horror. The laughter that somehow cuts through the most difficult of moments. Our guest today, Stephanie Wittles Wachs wrote a beautiful memoir called Everything is Horrible and Wonderful about the death of her brother to an accidental heroin overdose when he was 30 years old.

In this conversation, Kate and Stephanie discuss:
Loving someone with addiction
Grieving a person in public
Why it’s okay (and maybe necessary) to laugh in the midst of the worst moments
The 6th stage of grief—the manic-investigative stage

CW: mention of suicide, drug overdose, death of a sibling



Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.

Today, we’re talking about tragicomedy. And isn’t that all of life? The absurdity. The horror. The laughter that somehow cuts through the most difficult of moments. Our guest today, Stephanie Wittles Wachs wrote a beautiful memoir called Everything is Horrible and Wonderful about the death of her brother to an accidental heroin overdose when he was 30 years old.
In this conversation, Kate and Stephanie discuss:
<ul>
<li>Loving someone with addiction</li>
<li>Grieving a person in public</li>
<li>Why it’s okay (and maybe necessary) to laugh in the midst of the worst moments</li>
<li>The 6th stage of grief—the manic-investigative stage</li>
</ul>
CW: mention of suicide, drug overdose, death of a sibling
 
<hr>
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by <a href="https://katebowler.com/podcast/">clicking here</a>.
Follow Kate on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/katecbowler/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/katecbowler">Facebook</a>, or <a href="https://twitter.com/KatecBowler">X</a> (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.

Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.  Find her online at @katecbowler.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/

Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.  Find her online at @katecbowler.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>

Honest conversation about life's less-shiny moments.

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Stephanie Wittels Wachs: When Life Gives You Lemons

How do you stay close to someone whose pain you can’t fix, whose questions you can’t answer? In this episode, Kate sits down with her dear friend, the Rev. Dr. Sam Wells, a longtime advocate of “being with,” a theology that goes beyond advice and into the sacred space of simply staying. Sam–vicar at London’s St.-Martin-in-the-Fields, an astonishingly wise thinker, and one of Kate’s favorite people on Earth–invites us into a deeper courage: to show up without trying to tidy things up. 

In this beautifully honest conversation, Kate and Sam talk about:


Why love can be so hard


What it means to let go of the need to “help”


The surprising beauty of just… showing up. 

For everyone exhausted by easy answers, this episode is a hand to hold in the dark.



Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

How do you stay close to someone whose pain you can’t fix, whose questions you can’t answer? In this episode, Kate sits down with her dear friend, the Rev. Dr. Sam Wells, a longtime advocate of “being with,” a theology that goes beyond advice and into the sacred space of simply staying. Sam–vicar at London’s St.-Martin-in-the-Fields, an astonishingly wise thinker, and one of Kate’s favorite people on Earth–invites us into a deeper courage: to show up without trying to tidy things up. 
In this beautifully honest conversation, Kate and Sam talk about:
<ol>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
Why love can be so hard
</li>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
What it means to let go of the need to “help”
</li>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
The surprising beauty of just… showing up. 
</li>
</ol>
For everyone exhausted by easy answers, this episode is a hand to hold in the dark.
 
<hr>
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by <a href="https://katebowler.com/podcast/">clicking here</a> or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/katecbowler/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/katecbowler">Facebook</a>, or <a href="https://twitter.com/KatecBowler">X</a> (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

Sam Wells: Being With

There are some realities we can never get over. And yet, we keep living. How do we do that well? Wilma Derksen writes and speaks on the topics of victimization and criminal justice. Her wisdom is hardwon. In the mid-80s, Wilma’s daughter, Candace, was murdered. Their family’s response to this tragedy has inspired so many people…and you’ll soon see why.

In this conversation, Kate and Wilma discuss: 


How we live with the things we cannot change


What does forgiveness look like in practice


How to start forgiving yourself

If you liked this episode, you might also like: 


Malcolm Gladwell on whether people can change


Jerry Sittser on reflecting on tragedy decades later

CW: murder of a child



Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

There are some realities we can never get over. And yet, we keep living. How do we do that well? Wilma Derksen writes and speaks on the topics of victimization and criminal justice. Her wisdom is hardwon. In the mid-80s, Wilma’s daughter, Candace, was murdered. Their family’s response to this tragedy has inspired so many people…and you’ll soon see why.
In this conversation, Kate and Wilma discuss: 
<ol>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
How we live with the things we cannot change
</li>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
What does forgiveness look like in practice
</li>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
How to start forgiving yourself
</li>
</ol>
If you liked this episode, you might also like: 
<ul>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
<a href="https://katebowler.com/podcasts/malcolm-gladwell-can-people-change/">Malcolm Gladwell</a> on whether people can change
</li>
<li data-list-indent="1" data-list-type="bulleted">
<a href="https://katebowler.com/podcasts/jerry-sittser-life-after-loss/">Jerry Sittser</a> on reflecting on tragedy decades later
</li>
</ul>
CW: murder of a child
<hr>
 
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by <a href="https://katebowler.com/podcast/">clicking here</a> or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/katecbowler/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/katecbowler">Facebook</a>, or <a href="https://twitter.com/KatecBowler">X</a> (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

Wilma Derksen: Living with What You Cannot Change

This week we're introducing you to a show we love called A Slight Change of Plans with Dr. Maya Shankar. Kate was actually a guest on the show, where she joined to talk about how her entire belief system was thrown into question when she was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35. 

If you want to hear more conversations like this one, listen to A Slight Change of Plans wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, the show has new episodes coming on November 11.

This week we're introducing you to a show we love called <a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/a-slight-change-of-plans">A Slight Change of Plans with Dr. Maya Shankar</a>. Kate was actually a guest on the show, where she joined to talk about how her entire belief system was thrown into question when she was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35. 
If you want to hear more conversations like this one, listen to A Slight Change of Plans wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, the show has new episodes coming on November 11.

Stephanie Wittels Wachs: When Life Gives You Lemons

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