Well. Hey there friends, welcome to another exciting edition of equip with Chris Brooks! I'm so thrilled that you've joined us today. Do me a favor strap on your seat belt as we navigate through the contours of culture, as always with the lens of the biblical worldview on. But before we do that, let me remind you, this is the day that the Lord has made. He is giving it as a gift so that you and I can rejoice and be glad in it. So let's do just that. Let's follow the words of the Apostle Paul. Let's rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. Today I want you to help me welcome my good friend Roy Patterson to the host seat. Roy is a man of God who has ministered through radio and the pastorate for decades. He's the host and originator of the Urban Praise streaming channel, and also host Celebration of Praise and Music for Sunday here on Moody Radio. Roy, thank you for leading this edition of equip.

Well. Hey there friends, welcome to another exciting edition of equip with Chris Brooks! I'm so thrilled that you've joined us today. Do me a favor strap on your seat belt as we navigate through the contours of culture, as always with the lens of the biblical worldview on. But before we do that, let me remind you, this is the day that the Lord has made. He is giving it as a gift so that you and I can rejoice and be glad in it. So let's do just that. Let's follow the words of the Apostle Paul. Let's rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. Today I want you to help me welcome my good friend Roy Patterson to the host seat. Roy is a man of God who has ministered through radio and the pastorate for decades. He's the host and originator of the Urban Praise streaming channel, and also host Celebration of Praise and Music for Sunday here on Moody Radio. Roy, thank you for leading this edition of equip.

What a joy it is to be here with my Equip family! It really is the day the Lord has made, and we're rejoice and we're magnifying God for who he is and all the great things that he said and that he's done. I'm grateful for every opportunity to interact with you, especially about what's going on in our culture, what's happening in the power of God as the light of the Lord really knocks back the power of darkness. Hey, today we've got a wonderful, wonderful guest. Actually, we've got two. And we'll be talking about conversations and music ministry. Start off with Heather Holloman. This is a dear, dear sister. She is an associate teaching professor at Penn State. She's a speaker. She's an author and serves with Faculty commons in the professor and graduate student ministry of Cru. Heather, how are you?

What a joy it is to be here with my Equip family! It really is the day the Lord has made, and we're rejoice and we're magnifying God for who he is and all the great things that he said and that he's done. I'm grateful for every opportunity to interact with you, especially about what's going on in our culture, what's happening in the power of God as the light of the Lord really knocks back the power of darkness. Hey, today we've got a wonderful, wonderful guest. Actually, we've got two. And we'll be talking about conversations and music ministry. Start off with Heather Holloman. This is a dear, dear sister. She is an associate teaching professor at Penn State. She's a speaker. She's an author and serves with Faculty commons in the professor and graduate student ministry of Cru. Heather, how are you?

I'm doing well. How are you? It's so good to be on your program. This is going to be fun.

I'm doing well. How are you? It's so good to be on your program. This is going to be fun.

Oh, it's going to be so much fun. You've written a tremendous book that I think everybody should read. It's called The Six Conversations Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. When you think of conversations, what comes to mind?

Oh, it's going to be so much fun. You've written a tremendous book that I think everybody should read. It's called The Six Conversations Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. When you think of conversations, what comes to mind?

Curiosity. Number one most important word. I've been in so many social situations where no one asks one question or you're out on a date with someone. The guy doesn't ask you one question. You're out with a friend to coffee. She doesn't ask you one question. Curiosity is the is the key to great conversations, and it's a way to really love people.

Curiosity. Number one most important word. I've been in so many social situations where no one asks one question or you're out on a date with someone. The guy doesn't ask you one question. You're out with a friend to coffee. She doesn't ask you one question. Curiosity is the is the key to great conversations, and it's a way to really love people.

It's interesting because we've got such a deluge of of information. You know, we can Google, we can go to AI, we can hey, hey, Heather, we can go back and pick up a dusty encyclopedia. And we seem to know everything, you know. And so it seems like we need to set all that stuff to the side and say, wait a minute. I just want to know who you are, what you do, where you're from, and how life is treating you.

It's interesting because we've got such a deluge of of information. You know, we can Google, we can go to AI, we can hey, hey, Heather, we can go back and pick up a dusty encyclopedia. And we seem to know everything, you know. And so it seems like we need to set all that stuff to the side and say, wait a minute. I just want to know who you are, what you do, where you're from, and how life is treating you.

I love that, and I think you're right. Also, I've noticed in the culture people are monologuing a lot. My TikTok, my Instagram is just a lot of people talking at me. And you're right. Nobody's just sitting down and saying, I want to learn about you. And my favorite thing in the world is to ask people, tell me what Jesus is teaching you. How are you experiencing the Lord? Because then I learn so much when I just ask people, how are you experiencing God? So curiosity, just position yourself to be curious. And my book gives six ways to be curious about people.

I love that, and I think you're right. Also, I've noticed in the culture people are monologuing a lot. My TikTok, my Instagram is just a lot of people talking at me. And you're right. Nobody's just sitting down and saying, I want to learn about you. And my favorite thing in the world is to ask people, tell me what Jesus is teaching you. How are you experiencing the Lord? Because then I learn so much when I just ask people, how are you experiencing God? So curiosity, just position yourself to be curious. And my book gives six ways to be curious about people.

It's fascinating when I talk to people and they're on their phones, they're on their iPads or whatever it might be, the androids and and they're looking down and they're not making eye contact. There doesn't seem to be this connection. Do you tie that in to loneliness? Do you tie that into isolation?

It's fascinating when I talk to people and they're on their phones, they're on their iPads or whatever it might be, the androids and and they're looking down and they're not making eye contact. There doesn't seem to be this connection. Do you tie that in to loneliness? Do you tie that into isolation?

Yes. I feel like more and more research is coming out that these are kind of false forms of connection. You know, when you're connecting online, you can have, you know, some connection with people like, you know, I have a family group chat. I love texting my friends, but nothing replaces that connection face to face with people where you're really experiencing community the way God designed. And yeah, we're seeing an increase in loneliness. The most recent 2020 research I'm reading says about 57% of the population is claiming to be lonely. You know, not having meaningful in-person conversations. So this is a real problem. I mean, the loneliness epidemic is real. The health outcomes are terrible for loneliness. So it's really important to address this, you know, from a mental health and physical health, but also spiritually. God made us relational. He's a relational God. So I just feel really passionate about helping people have better conversations. It can save marriages. It's great for children and grandchildren. I know you've got four. Yeah, I do know how to connect. How to connect? How do you ask good questions? How do you connect with people.

Yes. I feel like more and more research is coming out that these are kind of false forms of connection. You know, when you're connecting online, you can have, you know, some connection with people like, you know, I have a family group chat. I love texting my friends, but nothing replaces that connection face to face with people where you're really experiencing community the way God designed. And yeah, we're seeing an increase in loneliness. The most recent 2020 research I'm reading says about 57% of the population is claiming to be lonely. You know, not having meaningful in-person conversations. So this is a real problem. I mean, the loneliness epidemic is real. The health outcomes are terrible for loneliness. So it's really important to address this, you know, from a mental health and physical health, but also spiritually. God made us relational. He's a relational God. So I just feel really passionate about helping people have better conversations. It can save marriages. It's great for children and grandchildren. I know you've got four. Yeah, I do know how to connect. How to connect? How do you ask good questions? How do you connect with people.

Mhm. Yeah. Those are the right questions okay. So I grew up you're a lot younger than me. But I grew up in an age where there were you know that was part of the entertainment. Just just laughing together. Talking together. What happened Heather can you just tell us what happened? How did we become so mean and so isolated and contentious?

Mhm. Yeah. Those are the right questions okay. So I grew up you're a lot younger than me. But I grew up in an age where there were you know that was part of the entertainment. Just just laughing together. Talking together. What happened Heather can you just tell us what happened? How did we become so mean and so isolated and contentious?

Well, I did the title of the book is Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. And I don't know when it actually began. I trace it back to maybe 2016. I just noticed a lot of incivility and, you know, people just trying to connect through hating one another. So it's almost like, wow, they thought, you know, maybe I can find community by who we hate or something like that. It was very odd. And I noticed with my students they began to be very suspicious and judgmental. So they're profoundly alone. And I would ask them, well, when you're trying to meet someone, what's going through your mind? And they would say things like, well, who did you vote for? What did you believe about vaccines? You know, what did you believe about Roe v Wade or are you pro-Israel? Things that are very political, very divisive in the culture. And I said to them, well, you know what? If you believe the best about people, what if you try to learn from people? That's a different way. That's a different mindset than what I was seeing in the culture. And that motivated me to write the book, because I learned if you want to have a loving connection with someone, it's not just about curiosity. You have to have another mindset which is really believing the best about them. And that comes out of Romans 12. Philippians two. I mean, Romans 12 says to love your enemies, you know, outdo one another in showing honor. Bless those who persecute you. Totally different than what we're hearing in the culture.

Well, I did the title of the book is Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. And I don't know when it actually began. I trace it back to maybe 2016. I just noticed a lot of incivility and, you know, people just trying to connect through hating one another. So it's almost like, wow, they thought, you know, maybe I can find community by who we hate or something like that. It was very odd. And I noticed with my students they began to be very suspicious and judgmental. So they're profoundly alone. And I would ask them, well, when you're trying to meet someone, what's going through your mind? And they would say things like, well, who did you vote for? What did you believe about vaccines? You know, what did you believe about Roe v Wade or are you pro-Israel? Things that are very political, very divisive in the culture. And I said to them, well, you know what? If you believe the best about people, what if you try to learn from people? That's a different way. That's a different mindset than what I was seeing in the culture. And that motivated me to write the book, because I learned if you want to have a loving connection with someone, it's not just about curiosity. You have to have another mindset which is really believing the best about them. And that comes out of Romans 12. Philippians two. I mean, Romans 12 says to love your enemies, you know, outdo one another in showing honor. Bless those who persecute you. Totally different than what we're hearing in the culture.

I've heard people say, I mean, believers say this. I've heard them say that they would rather go at somebody really, really hard than to give them the benefit of the doubt, to love them, to encourage them. I've even heard people say they hate people that disagree with them. Um, I'm concerned about that. I'm praying for people that have this this mindset. And I really, really think that you hit hit a nerve there just a second ago when you said it's not just curiosity, it's an issue of of trust giving people the benefit of the doubt. Is there a way for us to get from point A, which is the point of angry, and get to point B, a place of benevolence?

I've heard people say, I mean, believers say this. I've heard them say that they would rather go at somebody really, really hard than to give them the benefit of the doubt, to love them, to encourage them. I've even heard people say they hate people that disagree with them. Um, I'm concerned about that. I'm praying for people that have this this mindset. And I really, really think that you hit hit a nerve there just a second ago when you said it's not just curiosity, it's an issue of of trust giving people the benefit of the doubt. Is there a way for us to get from point A, which is the point of angry, and get to point B, a place of benevolence?

Well, two things helped me and set me free. The first is I really meditated on Philippians two. It says to value others above yourself. Take on the nature of a servant. Take on the interests of other people. You can't do that if you're hating them and believing they're the enemy. The second thing that God used in my life was a therapist actually told me, Heather, people are not the enemy. Satan is the enemy. Oh, boy. So you're kind of fighting the rhino. That's deep, isn't it?

Well, two things helped me and set me free. The first is I really meditated on Philippians two. It says to value others above yourself. Take on the nature of a servant. Take on the interests of other people. You can't do that if you're hating them and believing they're the enemy. The second thing that God used in my life was a therapist actually told me, Heather, people are not the enemy. Satan is the enemy. Oh, boy. So you're kind of fighting the rhino. That's deep, isn't it?

It is, it is.

It is, it is.

I was kind of fighting the wrong battle. And I thought to myself, you know, there's a whole cultural system, you know, Ephesians two says, the God of this age has, you know, think about the idea that there's a ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. And you think about if you're going to live out Romans 12, you're really ushering in a whole different kind of kingdom. You know, it's a new way of thinking and living where you're going to love people radically love those, bless those who persecute you. It's a really different way of living. I had to change the most. I was the most immature in this area and I thought, well, to go out and love people and believe the best about them, the first thing that changed was instead of insulting my neighbor for voting for someone I didn't agree with, I said, look, I. I can tell that you care deeply about these issues. I would love to know the story of when you first started caring about politics. Tell me your story. And when I was in the realm of narrative instead of the realm of argument, we actually had a really warm connection. And that's what the research says is what we're missing warm connections with people. So get curious. Find out the story of why people believe what they believe. You're going to learn a lot. You're going to be living out Philippians two in Romans 12. You're going to be conformed to the image of Christ when you do those things.

I was kind of fighting the wrong battle. And I thought to myself, you know, there's a whole cultural system, you know, Ephesians two says, the God of this age has, you know, think about the idea that there's a ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. And you think about if you're going to live out Romans 12, you're really ushering in a whole different kind of kingdom. You know, it's a new way of thinking and living where you're going to love people radically love those, bless those who persecute you. It's a really different way of living. I had to change the most. I was the most immature in this area and I thought, well, to go out and love people and believe the best about them, the first thing that changed was instead of insulting my neighbor for voting for someone I didn't agree with, I said, look, I. I can tell that you care deeply about these issues. I would love to know the story of when you first started caring about politics. Tell me your story. And when I was in the realm of narrative instead of the realm of argument, we actually had a really warm connection. And that's what the research says is what we're missing warm connections with people. So get curious. Find out the story of why people believe what they believe. You're going to learn a lot. You're going to be living out Philippians two in Romans 12. You're going to be conformed to the image of Christ when you do those things.

Mhm. Okay. So you're inspiring me now. I just, I just I just want you to know that you're inspiring.

Mhm. Okay. So you're inspiring me now. I just, I just I just want you to know that you're inspiring.

Well I'm glad I need it. I need, you know, my favorite teaching quote is we teach what we most need to learn. And remember I'm on a college campus. This is not easy for me to live out every day. No, no, I do it by the power of the Holy Spirit. I'm going to love you. Believe the best. I'm going to learn from you.

Well I'm glad I need it. I need, you know, my favorite teaching quote is we teach what we most need to learn. And remember I'm on a college campus. This is not easy for me to live out every day. No, no, I do it by the power of the Holy Spirit. I'm going to love you. Believe the best. I'm going to learn from you.

Mm. Well, here's here's how you're inspiring me. I'm. I'm thinking that there is an element of worldliness that goes with this contention. Rather than me loving you, rather than me forgiving you, understanding you. Working with you. Relating to you. It's just easier for me to write you off and really succumb to the. You know, I have this picture of a puppet master, and the puppet master is saying, yeah, don't like them, don't care about them, don't don't agree with them, don't go along with them. Just, just just stick to yourself. And everyone who looks like you, talks like you and thinks like you. And that is really worldly, isn't it?

Mm. Well, here's here's how you're inspiring me. I'm. I'm thinking that there is an element of worldliness that goes with this contention. Rather than me loving you, rather than me forgiving you, understanding you. Working with you. Relating to you. It's just easier for me to write you off and really succumb to the. You know, I have this picture of a puppet master, and the puppet master is saying, yeah, don't like them, don't care about them, don't don't agree with them, don't go along with them. Just, just just stick to yourself. And everyone who looks like you, talks like you and thinks like you. And that is really worldly, isn't it?

Well, it is, and it sounds like pride to me. That's the problem. It's not a humble spirit, a humble, teachable spirit. When you're with your neighbors or in your community and you're thinking, I know more than all of you, and I'm right and you can't teach me anything, it's a terrible way to live. I did some research about arrogance. I mean, there are these pitfalls and conversations, and I asked my students, you know, what character quality do you most love in people? And they love this idea of when you're with a humble person. Yeah. It's wonderful. There's nothing worse than arrogance. And you know, the way that Paul talks in Philippians two changed my mind. I mean, Jesus humbled himself. He took on the nature of a servant. And when you think about that, what does it mean to be a servant in conversation? Well, a servant in a conversation would be wanting to bless people, asking about them, not making it all about you and how much you know.

Well, it is, and it sounds like pride to me. That's the problem. It's not a humble spirit, a humble, teachable spirit. When you're with your neighbors or in your community and you're thinking, I know more than all of you, and I'm right and you can't teach me anything, it's a terrible way to live. I did some research about arrogance. I mean, there are these pitfalls and conversations, and I asked my students, you know, what character quality do you most love in people? And they love this idea of when you're with a humble person. Yeah. It's wonderful. There's nothing worse than arrogance. And you know, the way that Paul talks in Philippians two changed my mind. I mean, Jesus humbled himself. He took on the nature of a servant. And when you think about that, what does it mean to be a servant in conversation? Well, a servant in a conversation would be wanting to bless people, asking about them, not making it all about you and how much you know.

You're absolutely right. It really, really is. I cannot wait to get back from this break. I want us to talk about what it means to have humanity and look at the six dimensions of of humanity. You go into some really great things in your book, and I think it's going to profit us as we interact with folks who are like us, look like us, and folks who are different. And yet we can be blessed, we can be encouraged, we can be inspired by them as well. We're with Heather Holloman today, and we're talking about her book, The Six Conversations. I hope you will stick with us. I'm Roy Patterson. I'm sitting in for Chris Brooks. This is equipped.

You're absolutely right. It really, really is. I cannot wait to get back from this break. I want us to talk about what it means to have humanity and look at the six dimensions of of humanity. You go into some really great things in your book, and I think it's going to profit us as we interact with folks who are like us, look like us, and folks who are different. And yet we can be blessed, we can be encouraged, we can be inspired by them as well. We're with Heather Holloman today, and we're talking about her book, The Six Conversations. I hope you will stick with us. I'm Roy Patterson. I'm sitting in for Chris Brooks. This is equipped.

The enemy loves to take our sexual struggles and build strongholds to separate us from God. We start believing lies like we can't go to church anymore or that God couldn't possibly love us. Surrender Sexuality by Julie Slattery breaks down those barriers and shows you the path to freedom without shame and into the welcoming arms of Jesus. We'll send you a copy with our thanks when you support equip this month. Simply call 888644 4144 or visit Equip radio.org.

The enemy loves to take our sexual struggles and build strongholds to separate us from God. We start believing lies like we can't go to church anymore or that God couldn't possibly love us. Surrender Sexuality by Julie Slattery breaks down those barriers and shows you the path to freedom without shame and into the welcoming arms of Jesus. We'll send you a copy with our thanks when you support equip this month. Simply call 888644 4144 or visit Equip radio.org.

Welcome back to equip equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Roy Patterson. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. Hey love to hear from you. Love for you to talk with Heather Holloman. Our number is (877) 548-3675. That's (877) 548-3675. Hey, by the way, Cece Winans will be joining us in about 20 minutes till the top of the hour. And we'll have fun with her as well. But I'm thrilled right in this moment to talking, to talk to this author, this speaker, this teacher. She's just a wonderful woman of God. Hey, Heather, I want to talk about humanity. What does it mean to be human? And I think you've got, like, six dimensions of it, right?

Welcome back to equip equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Roy Patterson. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. Hey love to hear from you. Love for you to talk with Heather Holloman. Our number is (877) 548-3675. That's (877) 548-3675. Hey, by the way, Cece Winans will be joining us in about 20 minutes till the top of the hour. And we'll have fun with her as well. But I'm thrilled right in this moment to talking, to talk to this author, this speaker, this teacher. She's just a wonderful woman of God. Hey, Heather, I want to talk about humanity. What does it mean to be human? And I think you've got, like, six dimensions of it, right?

Yes. And these were six categories that my husband and I developed because people were having trouble asking questions in conversations and then asking follow up questions. And we thought of the six dimensions of what it means to be human. So in conversation, you've got six pathways. You can ask questions about social things, emotional things, physical things, cognitive things, volitional, which is the fancy word for human decisions and spiritual. And this is a game changer. When you see your friend, you don't have to say, how are you? You can say, hey, I'd love to hear about your friends. Who are you spending time with? That's a social question. Or cognitive? That's my favorite category of conversation. I love it when my husband or friends say, Heather, what have you been thinking about? And a lot of people who get stuck in conversation. The best question to ask is in the volitional category. What I advise is give a compliment and say, how did you decide? So hey, I love those shoes. How did you decide to get the Hokas instead of the Nike's? You're going to have a great conversation with people. So these are the six categories. Yep.

Yes. And these were six categories that my husband and I developed because people were having trouble asking questions in conversations and then asking follow up questions. And we thought of the six dimensions of what it means to be human. So in conversation, you've got six pathways. You can ask questions about social things, emotional things, physical things, cognitive things, volitional, which is the fancy word for human decisions and spiritual. And this is a game changer. When you see your friend, you don't have to say, how are you? You can say, hey, I'd love to hear about your friends. Who are you spending time with? That's a social question. Or cognitive? That's my favorite category of conversation. I love it when my husband or friends say, Heather, what have you been thinking about? And a lot of people who get stuck in conversation. The best question to ask is in the volitional category. What I advise is give a compliment and say, how did you decide? So hey, I love those shoes. How did you decide to get the Hokas instead of the Nike's? You're going to have a great conversation with people. So these are the six categories. Yep.

Okay, so you are one of my favorite speakers. And I say that sincerely because you've always got good, good stories. And so I want to ask you about and you can just pick any of them, any of these dimensions where you were surprised or you were like, huh? I hadn't thought of that, I hadn't I didn't see that coming. You got any stories where people have interacted with you about any of these these these dimensions?

Okay, so you are one of my favorite speakers. And I say that sincerely because you've always got good, good stories. And so I want to ask you about and you can just pick any of them, any of these dimensions where you were surprised or you were like, huh? I hadn't thought of that, I hadn't I didn't see that coming. You got any stories where people have interacted with you about any of these these these dimensions?

Well, all the time. And what you need to know is my primary gift is evangelism. So a lot of people ask me, how are you able to have so many great conversations about Jesus all the time? And it's because what's so surprising is how quickly you can get to gospel conversations. If you just ask like a question in the physical category. This is really surprising to me that people love to talk about their bodies. So I if I'm at the gym, I'll ask someone. I'll say, hey, you know, say, I just met him, we're talking and I'll be like, are you someone who has any injuries you're recovering from? And someone will be like, yeah, I have a rotator cuff injury. And I'll ask about the physical therapy. And I'll say, was that really challenging for you? All of a sudden? We're in the emotional category and I'm like, how did you handle that? The disappointment of not being able to go to the gym, and then when it's my turn to share, I can say something like, you know, I was really disappointed in that. Just the way God made me. I do not have a good knee and I really struggled with that. And then suddenly we're talking about spiritual things, how God made us. It's amazing. Roy, just go down any category. So the physical has probably surprised me the most. People love to talk about physical spaces. They love to talk about the five senses. If you're stuck in conversation, ask people, have you tried any new restaurants lately? Have you tried any new, anything new people love to talk about? That's really surprised me. The ease of talking about the physical category.

Well, all the time. And what you need to know is my primary gift is evangelism. So a lot of people ask me, how are you able to have so many great conversations about Jesus all the time? And it's because what's so surprising is how quickly you can get to gospel conversations. If you just ask like a question in the physical category. This is really surprising to me that people love to talk about their bodies. So I if I'm at the gym, I'll ask someone. I'll say, hey, you know, say, I just met him, we're talking and I'll be like, are you someone who has any injuries you're recovering from? And someone will be like, yeah, I have a rotator cuff injury. And I'll ask about the physical therapy. And I'll say, was that really challenging for you? All of a sudden? We're in the emotional category and I'm like, how did you handle that? The disappointment of not being able to go to the gym, and then when it's my turn to share, I can say something like, you know, I was really disappointed in that. Just the way God made me. I do not have a good knee and I really struggled with that. And then suddenly we're talking about spiritual things, how God made us. It's amazing. Roy, just go down any category. So the physical has probably surprised me the most. People love to talk about physical spaces. They love to talk about the five senses. If you're stuck in conversation, ask people, have you tried any new restaurants lately? Have you tried any new, anything new people love to talk about? That's really surprised me. The ease of talking about the physical category.

Have you ever been sort of shook by the response? And by that I mean just how people are so lonely and they seem to be so incomplete, and they look at you and they think, at last, somebody is interested in me.

Have you ever been sort of shook by the response? And by that I mean just how people are so lonely and they seem to be so incomplete, and they look at you and they think, at last, somebody is interested in me.

This happens all the time, especially with travel. but I found a really good question that it has led to people crying in my presence. It has led to people sending me gifts in the mail. And here's the question. You're just talking to someone and you say, you know, I just want to know, you know, what have you been thinking about lately? What was on your mind most this week? And the first person I was at the church info desk and the first man. I didn't know this man very well. My husband and I were standing there. I said, you know what's been on your mind this week? He started to cry. He needed to talk about some hard things going on with his family, and we got it. It was just a two minute conversation, but we got an email the next day and he said, look, that was the most loving question anyone has asked me all year, and could we go out to lunch? My wife and I would love to spend time with you all. The second thing related to that is if you're with anyone who's grieving, who's had a lot of hardship, and if you ask them, just tell me what's been on your mind. What thought is going through your mind you can't get rid of? When I asked that question and you allow someone to unburden themselves, which is Galatians six, carry each other's burdens. You will be amazed at the warm connection you feel, how much love they feel from you. A trauma expert taught me that. That a loving question is, hey, what thought is going through your mind you can't get rid of? That is a great question to ask people, especially if they're in a season of hardship.

This happens all the time, especially with travel. but I found a really good question that it has led to people crying in my presence. It has led to people sending me gifts in the mail. And here's the question. You're just talking to someone and you say, you know, I just want to know, you know, what have you been thinking about lately? What was on your mind most this week? And the first person I was at the church info desk and the first man. I didn't know this man very well. My husband and I were standing there. I said, you know what's been on your mind this week? He started to cry. He needed to talk about some hard things going on with his family, and we got it. It was just a two minute conversation, but we got an email the next day and he said, look, that was the most loving question anyone has asked me all year, and could we go out to lunch? My wife and I would love to spend time with you all. The second thing related to that is if you're with anyone who's grieving, who's had a lot of hardship, and if you ask them, just tell me what's been on your mind. What thought is going through your mind you can't get rid of? When I asked that question and you allow someone to unburden themselves, which is Galatians six, carry each other's burdens. You will be amazed at the warm connection you feel, how much love they feel from you. A trauma expert taught me that. That a loving question is, hey, what thought is going through your mind you can't get rid of? That is a great question to ask people, especially if they're in a season of hardship.

Well, it sounds so powerful and it sounds so easy for those of us. And believe it or not, I have my introverted side. I'm not completely an introvert, but I've got that side as well. Is it possible to step out of that shell and then to engage with people?

Well, it sounds so powerful and it sounds so easy for those of us. And believe it or not, I have my introverted side. I'm not completely an introvert, but I've got that side as well. Is it possible to step out of that shell and then to engage with people?

Well, that's why my husband, ash, he travels with me and we do a six conversation workshop, a Warm Connections workshop together because he's an introvert who's really what he calls proof of concept. He's actually become such an amazing conversationalist because he always knows how to start and continue a loving conversation. And he uses the six pathways. It isn't easy for him, he tells the crowd he still has to rely on the Lord and step out in faith, but it always that warm connection is such a reward for him, and he doesn't need a ton of them because he's an introvert like you are. But yeah, he'll usually start with, um, you know, a question. We call him spark. Questions like, hey, what kind of new things have you tried lately? But what's interesting about ash is he also claims he doesn't have the gift of evangelism. But using the six conversations and really believing. We wrote a book together called sent. He's led two people on our street to Jesus.

Well, that's why my husband, ash, he travels with me and we do a six conversation workshop, a Warm Connections workshop together because he's an introvert who's really what he calls proof of concept. He's actually become such an amazing conversationalist because he always knows how to start and continue a loving conversation. And he uses the six pathways. It isn't easy for him, he tells the crowd he still has to rely on the Lord and step out in faith, but it always that warm connection is such a reward for him, and he doesn't need a ton of them because he's an introvert like you are. But yeah, he'll usually start with, um, you know, a question. We call him spark. Questions like, hey, what kind of new things have you tried lately? But what's interesting about ash is he also claims he doesn't have the gift of evangelism. But using the six conversations and really believing. We wrote a book together called sent. He's led two people on our street to Jesus.

Wow.

Wow.

Just by stepping out in faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. Just talking to people about God, forming a warm connection. Introverts love this book because it gives you a strategy that kind of never fails. The other reason it's great is if you have a young person in your life who's interested in professional development. A lot of research is showing that this is your number one professional development skill, how to be curious and how to carry a conversation that leads to a warm connection is the number one skill young people need today.

Just by stepping out in faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. Just talking to people about God, forming a warm connection. Introverts love this book because it gives you a strategy that kind of never fails. The other reason it's great is if you have a young person in your life who's interested in professional development. A lot of research is showing that this is your number one professional development skill, how to be curious and how to carry a conversation that leads to a warm connection is the number one skill young people need today.

Well, it sounds like it's at least two gifts that are operating right now. And I'm not talking about spiritual gifts, but sort of a gift you would give to someone. The gift of talking and the gift of listening. The gift of sparking, as you said. Can you talk about that? The talking and the listening?

Well, it sounds like it's at least two gifts that are operating right now. And I'm not talking about spiritual gifts, but sort of a gift you would give to someone. The gift of talking and the gift of listening. The gift of sparking, as you said. Can you talk about that? The talking and the listening?

Well, the most important thing I learned in all of my research, all the different research articles I read, all the social science, nobody ever taught me how to listen. And I learned what to listen for. So when you're listening to someone, what you're listening for is what's called core values. Listen for what they talk about. And then you can say to them as you're talking, I can tell you really value and then say it to them. They're going to feel so loved. So I was at a barbecue on, you know, 4th of July. And I just was talking and I talked to this woman who loves Penn State tailgating. And I just said, look, as you're talking, I can tell you really value entertaining. You love gathering people together. I said, how long have you been that way? She felt so loved by this conversation. And she. I was so honored. Roy, I got an invite to the tailgate, and that is a big deal. This is an exclusive party. And I.

Well, the most important thing I learned in all of my research, all the different research articles I read, all the social science, nobody ever taught me how to listen. And I learned what to listen for. So when you're listening to someone, what you're listening for is what's called core values. Listen for what they talk about. And then you can say to them as you're talking, I can tell you really value and then say it to them. They're going to feel so loved. So I was at a barbecue on, you know, 4th of July. And I just was talking and I talked to this woman who loves Penn State tailgating. And I just said, look, as you're talking, I can tell you really value entertaining. You love gathering people together. I said, how long have you been that way? She felt so loved by this conversation. And she. I was so honored. Roy, I got an invite to the tailgate, and that is a big deal. This is an exclusive party. And I.

Got in.

Got in.

There. Yeah. So listen to what people care about. If people are talking about their family or projects or if, you know, just listen carefully. It's really good with children too, because when they feel really heard by you, they're going to feel really close to you when you're like, hey, I can tell you really value your friends or you really value, you know, whatever it is. Um, they're just going to when when you say that to people, it makes them feel like you've listened, that you really get them. And it's it's what the research is calling a closeness enhancing behavior.

There. Yeah. So listen to what people care about. If people are talking about their family or projects or if, you know, just listen carefully. It's really good with children too, because when they feel really heard by you, they're going to feel really close to you when you're like, hey, I can tell you really value your friends or you really value, you know, whatever it is. Um, they're just going to when when you say that to people, it makes them feel like you've listened, that you really get them. And it's it's what the research is calling a closeness enhancing behavior.

Um, you also talk about mutual sharing. Um, talk about it right now.

Um, you also talk about mutual sharing. Um, talk about it right now.

Well, if you're curious, you believe the best? You're expressing concern, which is the three mindsets of a loving connection. That's not going to be a conversation. That's an interview. You have to share your life. So mutual sharing means you know what to share. Now a lot of people don't know. Well, what do I share in conversations. And my husband and I really say just be aware of three things. Number one, what's your major stressor this week? What's the thing on your mind that you're stressed about? Is there kind of a thought keeping you up at night that you want to talk about? Or do you have an upcoming decision you or your family is trying to make? I like those three because if I were to say, Roy, what about you? What's going on in your life? You could say, oh, actually, Heather, our family's trying to make this decision about this. Then we're going to have a great conversation. So just be aware, self-aware enough about what stories you want to share in conversation, because then you'll have a warm connection.

Well, if you're curious, you believe the best? You're expressing concern, which is the three mindsets of a loving connection. That's not going to be a conversation. That's an interview. You have to share your life. So mutual sharing means you know what to share. Now a lot of people don't know. Well, what do I share in conversations. And my husband and I really say just be aware of three things. Number one, what's your major stressor this week? What's the thing on your mind that you're stressed about? Is there kind of a thought keeping you up at night that you want to talk about? Or do you have an upcoming decision you or your family is trying to make? I like those three because if I were to say, Roy, what about you? What's going on in your life? You could say, oh, actually, Heather, our family's trying to make this decision about this. Then we're going to have a great conversation. So just be aware, self-aware enough about what stories you want to share in conversation, because then you'll have a warm connection.

It seems like it's a me too kind of deal. You know where you're going through this. Say, hey, me too. I or I have faced that, or I think I will face it in the future. Please share with me right now how you're making it, and hopefully you glean something and it feels like what you're saying is people feel they they feel seen. Um, I feel valuable when I, when I talk to you, not only talk to me at me, but you listen to me. And that seems to make a difference, doesn't it?

It seems like it's a me too kind of deal. You know where you're going through this. Say, hey, me too. I or I have faced that, or I think I will face it in the future. Please share with me right now how you're making it, and hopefully you glean something and it feels like what you're saying is people feel they they feel seen. Um, I feel valuable when I, when I talk to you, not only talk to me at me, but you listen to me. And that seems to make a difference, doesn't it?

It does. And I think you know how Jesus just delights in us so much. And we have the love of the father. Imagine acting that way with your conversation partner, that you are just delighted in them. You're letting the love of the father flow through you to them. So when they're talking to you, they feel like, oh my gosh, I'm a delightful person.

It does. And I think you know how Jesus just delights in us so much. And we have the love of the father. Imagine acting that way with your conversation partner, that you are just delighted in them. You're letting the love of the father flow through you to them. So when they're talking to you, they feel like, oh my gosh, I'm a delightful person.

I am a loved person.

I am a loved person.

You know how many of us have had conversations where we just feel that person is so interested in us and just delighted by us? And that goes way back to Dale Carnegie when he said, you know how to win friends and influence people.

You know how many of us have had conversations where we just feel that person is so interested in us and just delighted by us? And that goes way back to Dale Carnegie when he said, you know how to win friends and influence people.

Just be.

Just be.

Interested.

Interested.

In other people. It's so.

In other people. It's so.

Simple.

Simple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love that, I really do. All right, so the world we live in right now has this contentious mindset really. You know. Oh my goodness. Acrimonious. Acrimonious is just, uh, the middle name of some people. So if I want to turn the page on that because I've got some friends who are listening right now, I've got like 100,000 friends who are listening right now who are saying, you know what, maybe I should put down a sledgehammer and I should put on my listening ears. Are there some steps that folks can take to stop being so contentious?

Yeah, I love that, I really do. All right, so the world we live in right now has this contentious mindset really. You know. Oh my goodness. Acrimonious. Acrimonious is just, uh, the middle name of some people. So if I want to turn the page on that because I've got some friends who are listening right now, I've got like 100,000 friends who are listening right now who are saying, you know what, maybe I should put down a sledgehammer and I should put on my listening ears. Are there some steps that folks can take to stop being so contentious?

Well, one thing I've noticed is I have a lot of contentious friends on Facebook or Instagram, but when I'm with them in person, they're not that way.

Well, one thing I've noticed is I have a lot of contentious friends on Facebook or Instagram, but when I'm with them in person, they're not that way.

Amen.

Amen.

So one of the things I wanted to say is you may have an online persona that is a political pundit or your your online presence is very contentious. So my best advice is take some time away from all of that. Unless the Lord is calling you to be a public protester. Think about just interpersonally warm connections. You know, you want to think about the goal of this conversation is not to win an argument, but to have a warm connection. And that helps me. My goal is not I'm going to win. My goal is what can I do to feel a warm connection with someone. But I do believe that there's a place for public protest. And, you know, all of those things are important.

So one of the things I wanted to say is you may have an online persona that is a political pundit or your your online presence is very contentious. So my best advice is take some time away from all of that. Unless the Lord is calling you to be a public protester. Think about just interpersonally warm connections. You know, you want to think about the goal of this conversation is not to win an argument, but to have a warm connection. And that helps me. My goal is not I'm going to win. My goal is what can I do to feel a warm connection with someone. But I do believe that there's a place for public protest. And, you know, all of those things are important.

In our society.

In our society.

But interpersonally, with your family, with your neighborhood, with your colleagues. The goal is not to win an argument and to help you, I want you to remember this storytelling. Stay in the realm of narrative, not in the realm of argument. Get them to tell the story, not argument.

But interpersonally, with your family, with your neighborhood, with your colleagues. The goal is not to win an argument and to help you, I want you to remember this storytelling. Stay in the realm of narrative, not in the realm of argument. Get them to tell the story, not argument.

That sounds good. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we want to hear some more about how to be an effective storyteller, how to relate, how to engage, how to deal with these six conversations. What a joy it is to have Heather Holloman with us today. Really, really is a blessing. You like to talk to her? Give us a call at (877) 548-3675. That's (877) 548-3675. I'm Roy Patterson sitting in for Chris Brooks. We love that guy. He is a blessing. Such a great intellect and a big heart of compassion. Stick around. We'll be back with Heather and Cece Winans after this. Right here on equipped. Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Roy Patterson. Thanks so much for being with me. You got a question for you. Do you have questions about your sexuality that no one seems to address, whether it's sexual sin, gender confusion, or issues in your marriage? Surrendered Sexuality by Doctor Julie Slattery has insights that you will profit from. She'll help you see that God wants you to come to him with any question that you might have, any struggle that you're going through. And when you do, I believe God is able to help you, lead you, and guide you. Request your copy with your gift of any amount by simply going to equipped. Yeah. Equipped radio.org that's equipped radio.org. Or you can call 8886444144886444144. We've got Heather Holloman on the line. Cece Winans is coming up shortly, and I'm just thrilled to hang out with you guys today. I'm Roy Patterson. I've got, uh, we got here. We got Cathy from, uh, Indiana. Cathy, you've got a question for Heather. Please go ahead.

That sounds good. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we want to hear some more about how to be an effective storyteller, how to relate, how to engage, how to deal with these six conversations. What a joy it is to have Heather Holloman with us today. Really, really is a blessing. You like to talk to her? Give us a call at (877) 548-3675. That's (877) 548-3675. I'm Roy Patterson sitting in for Chris Brooks. We love that guy. He is a blessing. Such a great intellect and a big heart of compassion. Stick around. We'll be back with Heather and Cece Winans after this. Right here on equipped. Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Roy Patterson. Thanks so much for being with me. You got a question for you. Do you have questions about your sexuality that no one seems to address, whether it's sexual sin, gender confusion, or issues in your marriage? Surrendered Sexuality by Doctor Julie Slattery has insights that you will profit from. She'll help you see that God wants you to come to him with any question that you might have, any struggle that you're going through. And when you do, I believe God is able to help you, lead you, and guide you. Request your copy with your gift of any amount by simply going to equipped. Yeah. Equipped radio.org that's equipped radio.org. Or you can call 8886444144886444144. We've got Heather Holloman on the line. Cece Winans is coming up shortly, and I'm just thrilled to hang out with you guys today. I'm Roy Patterson. I've got, uh, we got here. We got Cathy from, uh, Indiana. Cathy, you've got a question for Heather. Please go ahead.

Yes. Um, God gave me a real desire to, um, be encourager. especially for young women. And I've gone out to lunch with some a couple of times, but I find that I'm stumped. I don't know what to ask. I kind of wasn't really socialized with as a kid, so I kind of was by myself, but I really want to really encourage them. And I know you gave some pointers and I missed them and I truly don't. I literally would just say, how are you? And that would be just dropped after that.

Yes. Um, God gave me a real desire to, um, be encourager. especially for young women. And I've gone out to lunch with some a couple of times, but I find that I'm stumped. I don't know what to ask. I kind of wasn't really socialized with as a kid, so I kind of was by myself, but I really want to really encourage them. And I know you gave some pointers and I missed them and I truly don't. I literally would just say, how are you? And that would be just dropped after that.

That's right. Um, first of all, I'm so glad you asked that question. So many people want to encourage. They want to be mentoring and they don't know how to ask good questions. Um, instead of how are you? A lot of people don't answer that question because the the weak verb ah is stressful to the brain. Here's what the next time you go out, this is what you say. Hey, I want to know what has surprised you most about your week, or what's challenged you most about your week? Because then the brain can picture that verb in their mind and you will get a question. I tried this out on my teen daughters and I tried it out in real time in my college classroom. I'll say, how are you? And they'll say, fine, and the conversation ends. But if I say, okay, what's challenged you most about today or what surprised you most about today? They'll go on and on and on. And then what the beauty of this six conversational pathways is. Once they answer that question, you have six possible follow up questions. So if you're mentoring young woman and you say, oh, what's challenged you most about this week? Maybe she'll say, oh, I got a new puppy and I'm doing house training for the puppy. Well, then what do you say? Well, you have six pathways social. Hey, um, who else have you been talking to about this puppy? Or who do you bring in to help train? You can do a physical question. Hey, have you been getting a lot of good sleep with this puppy? You know, you're going to go on and on. Do volitional. How did you decide to get the puppy? You're never going to get lost in conversation again.

That's right. Um, first of all, I'm so glad you asked that question. So many people want to encourage. They want to be mentoring and they don't know how to ask good questions. Um, instead of how are you? A lot of people don't answer that question because the the weak verb ah is stressful to the brain. Here's what the next time you go out, this is what you say. Hey, I want to know what has surprised you most about your week, or what's challenged you most about your week? Because then the brain can picture that verb in their mind and you will get a question. I tried this out on my teen daughters and I tried it out in real time in my college classroom. I'll say, how are you? And they'll say, fine, and the conversation ends. But if I say, okay, what's challenged you most about today or what surprised you most about today? They'll go on and on and on. And then what the beauty of this six conversational pathways is. Once they answer that question, you have six possible follow up questions. So if you're mentoring young woman and you say, oh, what's challenged you most about this week? Maybe she'll say, oh, I got a new puppy and I'm doing house training for the puppy. Well, then what do you say? Well, you have six pathways social. Hey, um, who else have you been talking to about this puppy? Or who do you bring in to help train? You can do a physical question. Hey, have you been getting a lot of good sleep with this puppy? You know, you're going to go on and on. Do volitional. How did you decide to get the puppy? You're never going to get lost in conversation again.

Hmm hmm. Hey, Kathy, we want you to hold on. I'm going to send you a copy of Heather's book.

Hmm hmm. Hey, Kathy, we want you to hold on. I'm going to send you a copy of Heather's book.

Yay!

Yay!

Yeah, that'd be really cool. It will be all right. So don't you hang up. Hold on. Please. All right, so, Heather, it sounds like we can cut through a whole lot of generational concerns and boundaries and guardrails by asking questions, because I know that there are people who are saying, um, if I ask someone who is my age this question, they would respond one way. Someone else, not so much. Can can we use these questions on any and everybody?

Yeah, that'd be really cool. It will be all right. So don't you hang up. Hold on. Please. All right, so, Heather, it sounds like we can cut through a whole lot of generational concerns and boundaries and guardrails by asking questions, because I know that there are people who are saying, um, if I ask someone who is my age this question, they would respond one way. Someone else, not so much. Can can we use these questions on any and everybody?

Well, yes, there are questions that young people enjoy more. Um, they love to talk about their friends. If I'm with a teenager or a college person and I'll say, okay, tell me about your friends. What's the drama? You know, whatever it is, they love to talk about music. Like one of the things I learned is I'll say, hey, what's on your Spotify on repeat? If they you know, what that means is what is their most played song? They love talking about that. I have found a lot of success giving a compliment about their hair or skin and saying, how did you get it that way? Like, oh my gosh, your skin is glowing. How did you get it that way? I have learned more about skincare and hair care than I've ever wanted to, just by giving a compliment to your person. Um, they love talking and trends, you know, whatever it is. Also, young people like to talk about what they're. But sometimes I'll say. A teenager, I have a 13 year old neighbor. She loves to talk about what's annoying her, I love it. We have the best time. I'm like, tell me, everything bothering you at school? And, um, so those work with older people. I feel like it really honors them. Things that you're learning about the Lord. Teach me all your wisdom. It honors them. If you have an older person in your life, ask them questions like, what do you think? The most important thing is that I should learn about Jesus? What is the most important thing you've learned about him? Just ask questions. You're going to have so much fun. So young people, social questions. Older people ask them about what they're learning. Ask them to pass on their wisdom or their garden or pickleball.

Well, yes, there are questions that young people enjoy more. Um, they love to talk about their friends. If I'm with a teenager or a college person and I'll say, okay, tell me about your friends. What's the drama? You know, whatever it is, they love to talk about music. Like one of the things I learned is I'll say, hey, what's on your Spotify on repeat? If they you know, what that means is what is their most played song? They love talking about that. I have found a lot of success giving a compliment about their hair or skin and saying, how did you get it that way? Like, oh my gosh, your skin is glowing. How did you get it that way? I have learned more about skincare and hair care than I've ever wanted to, just by giving a compliment to your person. Um, they love talking and trends, you know, whatever it is. Also, young people like to talk about what they're. But sometimes I'll say. A teenager, I have a 13 year old neighbor. She loves to talk about what's annoying her, I love it. We have the best time. I'm like, tell me, everything bothering you at school? And, um, so those work with older people. I feel like it really honors them. Things that you're learning about the Lord. Teach me all your wisdom. It honors them. If you have an older person in your life, ask them questions like, what do you think? The most important thing is that I should learn about Jesus? What is the most important thing you've learned about him? Just ask questions. You're going to have so much fun. So young people, social questions. Older people ask them about what they're learning. Ask them to pass on their wisdom or their garden or pickleball.

There you go. Exactly. I was just talking to our producer while we were on break, and she said she has children who will see somebody going down the street, and they'll just scream out, hey, I like your dog, or I like your hairdo.

There you go. Exactly. I was just talking to our producer while we were on break, and she said she has children who will see somebody going down the street, and they'll just scream out, hey, I like your dog, or I like your hairdo.

I love it give a compliment. It's a way of believing the best. In fact, the Yale Relationship Lab said one of the number one ways to feel close to people is to express what's called liking. You have to tell people that you like them. Tell them, I like this about you, or I have this memory with you, or compliment anything that you see. It's actually living out this idea of being an encourager. Um, you know, I was really convicted by the Bible verse that says, let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

I love it give a compliment. It's a way of believing the best. In fact, the Yale Relationship Lab said one of the number one ways to feel close to people is to express what's called liking. You have to tell people that you like them. Tell them, I like this about you, or I have this memory with you, or compliment anything that you see. It's actually living out this idea of being an encourager. Um, you know, I was really convicted by the Bible verse that says, let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

Hmm. All right. For that person that's sort of timid. They're a little afraid. Um, what do you say to them. Because really they're like, I hardly even talk to people. I barely look in the mirror. Okay, maybe I'm going too far with that, but I don't talk to a lot of people for that person that's afraid. What's your best advice?

Hmm. All right. For that person that's sort of timid. They're a little afraid. Um, what do you say to them. Because really they're like, I hardly even talk to people. I barely look in the mirror. Okay, maybe I'm going too far with that, but I don't talk to a lot of people for that person that's afraid. What's your best advice?

My best advice is get a few questions that you know work for you every time. So my favorite one when I see people, if I haven't, I mean, and this is my husband who's an introvert, just to say, hey, it's good to see you. Who have you been spending time with this week? Social question. Um, he loves asking this question. What kind of day are you having on a scale of 1 to 10? And then his engineering friends love that because they love numbers. But whatever they say, like, oh, I'm having a five. This is the best question. What would have to happen to make it a ten?

My best advice is get a few questions that you know work for you every time. So my favorite one when I see people, if I haven't, I mean, and this is my husband who's an introvert, just to say, hey, it's good to see you. Who have you been spending time with this week? Social question. Um, he loves asking this question. What kind of day are you having on a scale of 1 to 10? And then his engineering friends love that because they love numbers. But whatever they say, like, oh, I'm having a five. This is the best question. What would have to happen to make it a ten?

Wow.

Wow.

Ash uses that in the grocery store. He uses it at the doctor and he's learned more about people. He'll say, okay, what kind of day are you having? Scale of 1 to 10? And the cashier says, oh, it's a two. And I shall say a two meaning, you know, zero is the worst. He'll say, well, what what needs to happen to make your day a ten? And the woman was like, well, I didn't get my coffee this morning. Well guess what? Ash is like, I got you. What's your Starbucks order? I'm gonna come get it. You know, you're just gonna love people. Just ask that question.

Ash uses that in the grocery store. He uses it at the doctor and he's learned more about people. He'll say, okay, what kind of day are you having? Scale of 1 to 10? And the cashier says, oh, it's a two. And I shall say a two meaning, you know, zero is the worst. He'll say, well, what what needs to happen to make your day a ten? And the woman was like, well, I didn't get my coffee this morning. Well guess what? Ash is like, I got you. What's your Starbucks order? I'm gonna come get it. You know, you're just gonna love people. Just ask that question.

I got it. Hey, here's the number to call. You want to talk to Heather Holloman? The number is 87754836758775483675. All right, so, Heather, I know you're a Bible scholar. I know you love the word. You just love the Lord Jesus. And there's no verse in the Bible that escapes thee. Amen.

I got it. Hey, here's the number to call. You want to talk to Heather Holloman? The number is 87754836758775483675. All right, so, Heather, I know you're a Bible scholar. I know you love the word. You just love the Lord Jesus. And there's no verse in the Bible that escapes thee. Amen.

Amen. I love that. I do love the word I still, I still preach Ephesians two 1 to 10 almost every morning to myself. I love the word. Do you have do you have a passage that you go back to every time? You just love it?

Amen. I love that. I do love the word I still, I still preach Ephesians two 1 to 10 almost every morning to myself. I love the word. Do you have do you have a passage that you go back to every time? You just love it?

My main verse is Psalm 138, verse eight, where it says, the Lord will perfect that which concerns me.

My main verse is Psalm 138, verse eight, where it says, the Lord will perfect that which concerns me.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Yeah, that's that's my verse. I hold on to that. All right. So here's my question for you. Now in the Bible, there's a ton of conversations. And that thought didn't hit me until just this moment talking to you. I'm thinking, wow, Jesus talking to the disciples and not just preaching to them, listening to them interact with him, how Paul and Silas, you know, interacted. And, uh, this goes on and on. You got any favorite conversations in the Bible? Yeah. Do you?

Yeah, that's that's my verse. I hold on to that. All right. So here's my question for you. Now in the Bible, there's a ton of conversations. And that thought didn't hit me until just this moment talking to you. I'm thinking, wow, Jesus talking to the disciples and not just preaching to them, listening to them interact with him, how Paul and Silas, you know, interacted. And, uh, this goes on and on. You got any favorite conversations in the Bible? Yeah. Do you?

I have three. The first is the conversation in the garden where Jesus where God asks three questions, you know, where are you? Who told you you were naked? What have you done? Those are great questions to like. Hey, where are you? Where have you been? Who told you? Who? Who are you authorizing to tell you who you are? And then what have you done? I just love it because it's like.

I have three. The first is the conversation in the garden where Jesus where God asks three questions, you know, where are you? Who told you you were naked? What have you done? Those are great questions to like. Hey, where are you? Where have you been? Who told you? Who? Who are you authorizing to tell you who you are? And then what have you done? I just love it because it's like.

That's three.

That's three.

Questions. Yeah, we all need to answer those questions for our own life. I love the woman at the well because she tries to get him in a theological argument, and he will not take it. He Jesus goes straight to the truth. The last conversation I've been focusing on lately is actually on the road to Emmaus, when he's walking with the two that don't recognize him. And I just love every time Jesus asks questions, he he actually asks people to share what they know. Like, hey, haven't you heard this or what have you thought about this? If you look through the gospels, Jesus asks questions in every category of what it means to be human. And I love his disposition. Sometimes Jesus is that loving, gentle presence when he has to be strong and just speak the truth, he's able to do that as well. It's hard when you're reading a text because you don't know what his tone of voice was necessarily right. But I just love reading those. But I think my favorite is Genesis, because I think those three questions are the three questions. When you're thinking of conversations with God and yourself, those are the three questions you need to ask yourself today. Where am I in relation to God? Who am I authorizing to tell me who I am? And then what have I done that means? Am I aware that I'm a sinner in need of salvation? And is Jesus going to be my authority or not?

Questions. Yeah, we all need to answer those questions for our own life. I love the woman at the well because she tries to get him in a theological argument, and he will not take it. He Jesus goes straight to the truth. The last conversation I've been focusing on lately is actually on the road to Emmaus, when he's walking with the two that don't recognize him. And I just love every time Jesus asks questions, he he actually asks people to share what they know. Like, hey, haven't you heard this or what have you thought about this? If you look through the gospels, Jesus asks questions in every category of what it means to be human. And I love his disposition. Sometimes Jesus is that loving, gentle presence when he has to be strong and just speak the truth, he's able to do that as well. It's hard when you're reading a text because you don't know what his tone of voice was necessarily right. But I just love reading those. But I think my favorite is Genesis, because I think those three questions are the three questions. When you're thinking of conversations with God and yourself, those are the three questions you need to ask yourself today. Where am I in relation to God? Who am I authorizing to tell me who I am? And then what have I done that means? Am I aware that I'm a sinner in need of salvation? And is Jesus going to be my authority or not?

Mm mm.

Mm mm.

That's that's pretty compelling. All right. I got one more Bible verse for you, the verse that says speak the truth in love. Typically when I hear that verse, when I hear that verse, I'm thinking of something that's harsh, that's difficult, um, sometimes even mean spirited. But our conversation right now has sort of flipped that for me, and I'm starting to see it from a different perspective. Give me your thoughts on that verse.

That's that's pretty compelling. All right. I got one more Bible verse for you, the verse that says speak the truth in love. Typically when I hear that verse, when I hear that verse, I'm thinking of something that's harsh, that's difficult, um, sometimes even mean spirited. But our conversation right now has sort of flipped that for me, and I'm starting to see it from a different perspective. Give me your thoughts on that verse.

Well, speak the truth in love. When I think of the four mindsets of a loving conversation, you're curious, believing the best, expressing concern, and then sharing your life. If God invites you to have a moment where you're speaking truth to someone, it's not going to feel like a weird pivot or like a sales pitch or some kind of rebuke. It's going to feel really loving. Yeah. Because you're you already have a warm connection with that person. And what the research says is you're moving someone from a reactive brain state to a responsive brain state. So when you're speaking something that's true that maybe they don't disagree with, it won't come off as an argument necessarily. You'll just be telling them like, this is something that the Bible says, or this is something I've been thinking about and you're still having a good conversation with them, but you're able to maybe correct something that they've said or speak truth into their life. My husband's much better at that than I am. He's he isn't a flatterer. He likes to just speak the truth. But he's worked so hard on building warm connections with people. I think that's why he's having so much success sharing his faith, I think, and people are responding to that. I think it's because he's able to speak the truth in love.

Well, speak the truth in love. When I think of the four mindsets of a loving conversation, you're curious, believing the best, expressing concern, and then sharing your life. If God invites you to have a moment where you're speaking truth to someone, it's not going to feel like a weird pivot or like a sales pitch or some kind of rebuke. It's going to feel really loving. Yeah. Because you're you already have a warm connection with that person. And what the research says is you're moving someone from a reactive brain state to a responsive brain state. So when you're speaking something that's true that maybe they don't disagree with, it won't come off as an argument necessarily. You'll just be telling them like, this is something that the Bible says, or this is something I've been thinking about and you're still having a good conversation with them, but you're able to maybe correct something that they've said or speak truth into their life. My husband's much better at that than I am. He's he isn't a flatterer. He likes to just speak the truth. But he's worked so hard on building warm connections with people. I think that's why he's having so much success sharing his faith, I think, and people are responding to that. I think it's because he's able to speak the truth in love.

Mm.

Mm.

Yeah. I'm fascinated by that, because I think that there are some people who are starving for the truth. They're starving for an opportunity to hear something different about themselves. Meaning, um, I need to speak into their lives that you are valuable. You are important. God's hand is upon you. God loves you. He's got purpose. He's got great things in store for you. And I know you've been told you're worthless. You're nobody. You're nothing. You're going nowhere. But I want to tell you the truth, Jesus Christ absolutely loves you. And I'm telling you, I have not thought about that like that until this conversation.

Yeah. I'm fascinated by that, because I think that there are some people who are starving for the truth. They're starving for an opportunity to hear something different about themselves. Meaning, um, I need to speak into their lives that you are valuable. You are important. God's hand is upon you. God loves you. He's got purpose. He's got great things in store for you. And I know you've been told you're worthless. You're nobody. You're nothing. You're going nowhere. But I want to tell you the truth, Jesus Christ absolutely loves you. And I'm telling you, I have not thought about that like that until this conversation.

I love that, no, I love that people need love. They need to know the true path of human flourishing. It's Jesus. It's nothing else that people are offering these kids in the culture. And so when you're speaking the truth in love, it's going to it's just going to feel like life to them. You're going to be speaking words of life to people.

I love that, no, I love that people need love. They need to know the true path of human flourishing. It's Jesus. It's nothing else that people are offering these kids in the culture. And so when you're speaking the truth in love, it's going to it's just going to feel like life to them. You're going to be speaking words of life to people.

Mm.

Mm.

We're talking with Heather Holloman right now. I'd love for you to give us a call. The number is 87754836758775483675. Hey, I want to tell you God's hand is on your life. God has you listening to us right now, and we're thrilled that you're doing that. So make it a point. Make it a point to know that God's love is real. And we want you to receive that love. We want you to know that this love is an everlasting love. It's not shaky. It's not milquetoast. It's not wishy washy. It's the kind of love that you can't even imagine. But it is real, and it is there for you. Hey, I'm Roy Patterson. I'm sitting in for Chris Brooks. Thanks so much for hanging out. Cece Winans is coming up in just a few minutes. Don't you dare touch that dial. You're listening to equipped.