Some lessons don’t land the first time. Or the tenth. But then—something shifts. In this episode, Justin shares a surprising win from “explicit teaching” with his kids, and Kylie opens up about kinesiology, therapy, and why the evidence doesn’t always tell the whole story.

This one hits deep for any parent who’s trying to raise values-led kids while staying connected through the teenage years.

KEY POINTS
Why teens need us in the details of their lives — even when they push back
The power of a safe third party in tough conversations (psychology vs. kinesiology)
How “explicit teaching” actually works in real families (the media/music example)
When values stick — and why discussion beats lecturing every time
The shift from compliance → identification → integration when kids choose their values

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“We don’t tell them what they have to do — we share principles, ask what they think, and keep the conversation going.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Misconnection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk (Justin Coulson PhD)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Create safe third-party spaces. This could be a psychologist, mentor, aunt, uncle, or trusted adult — not always paid.
Use explicit teaching sparingly — but consistently. Small conversations over time beat one big lecture.
Ask values-based questions. Try: “What do you think this message does to you?”
Let them wrestle. Real learning happens in the tension — not in compliance.
Keep reflecting, don’t direct. Facilitate decisions instead of making them for your kids.

Some lessons don&rsquo;t land the first time. Or the tenth. But then&mdash;something shifts. In this episode, Justin shares a surprising win from &ldquo;explicit teaching&rdquo; with his kids, and Kylie opens up about kinesiology, therapy, and why the evidence doesn&rsquo;t always tell the whole story.
This one hits deep for any parent who&rsquo;s trying to raise values-led kids while staying connected through the teenage years.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why teens need us in the details of their lives &mdash; even when they push back</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of a safe third party in tough conversations (psychology vs. kinesiology)</li>
<li aria-level="1">How &ldquo;explicit teaching&rdquo; actually works in real families (the media/music example)</li>
<li aria-level="1">When values stick &mdash; and why discussion beats lecturing every time</li>
<li aria-level="1">The shift from compliance &rarr; identification &rarr; integration when kids choose their values</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;We don&rsquo;t tell them what they have to do &mdash; we share principles, ask what they think, and keep the conversation going.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/miss-connectionhttps://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/miss-connection">Misconnection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk</a> (Justin Coulson PhD)</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Create safe third-party spaces. This could be a psychologist, mentor, aunt, uncle, or trusted adult &mdash; not always paid.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Use explicit teaching sparingly &mdash; but consistently. Small conversations over time beat one big lecture.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Ask values-based questions. Try: &ldquo;What do you think this message does to you?&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let them wrestle. Real learning happens in the tension &mdash; not in compliance.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Keep reflecting, don&rsquo;t direct. Facilitate decisions instead of making them for your kids.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

When Teaching Kids “Doesn’t Work”… Until It Does

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/d5b88dda-501c-4743-84ac-b3d200b93656/transcript