What if your child’s resistance isn’t laziness… but fear?

In this heartfelt Friday “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” episode of the The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie unpack a powerful parenting moment: an 11-year-old who didn’t want to try the 6am surf class — and the surprising truth behind her pushback.

This episode is about competence, courage, friendship, and why slowing down might be the most important thing we do for our kids (and ourselves).

If you’ve ever pushed, pulled, or panicked when your child resisted something new — this one will land.

KEY POINTS
Why “I don’t want to” often masks “What if I look dumb?”
The hidden power of friendships in building confidence
How to use a “soft entry” instead of forcing commitment
The sweet spot of growth (hello, zone of proximal development)
Why parents need protected, screen-free stillness
The family lesson we forgot after COVID

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Sometimes our kids’ trepidation is less about the activity… and more about feeling incompetent.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Justin’s books and parenting resources at happyfamilies.com.au
Research behind capability, autonomy and competence (Self-Determination Theory)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Offer a one-time trial instead of a full commitment
Look for the fear underneath the resistance
Pair new challenges with trusted friends
Protect one quiet hour this week — no screens, no rushing
Let your child grow at the edge of their capability, not beyond it

What if your child&rsquo;s resistance isn&rsquo;t laziness&hellip; but fear?
In this heartfelt Friday &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll Do Better Tomorrow&rdquo; episode of the The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie unpack a powerful parenting moment: an 11-year-old who didn&rsquo;t want to try the 6am surf class &mdash; and the surprising truth behind her pushback.
This episode is about competence, courage, friendship, and why slowing down might be the most important thing we do for our kids (and ourselves).
If you&rsquo;ve ever pushed, pulled, or panicked when your child resisted something new &mdash; this one will land.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to&rdquo; often masks &ldquo;What if I look dumb?&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden power of friendships in building confidence</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to use a &ldquo;soft entry&rdquo; instead of forcing commitment</li>
<li aria-level="1">The sweet spot of growth (hello, zone of proximal development)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why parents need protected, screen-free stillness</li>
<li aria-level="1">The family lesson we forgot after COVID</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Sometimes our kids&rsquo; trepidation is less about the activity&hellip; and more about feeling incompetent.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Justin&rsquo;s books and parenting resources at <a href="happyfamilies.com.au">happyfamilies.com.au</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Research behind capability, autonomy and competence (Self-Determination Theory)</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Offer a one-time trial instead of a full commitment</li>
<li aria-level="1">Look for the fear underneath the resistance</li>
<li aria-level="1">Pair new challenges with trusted friends</li>
<li aria-level="1">Protect one quiet hour this week &mdash; no screens, no rushing</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let your child grow at the edge of their capability, not beyond it</li>
</ul>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

When “I Don’t Want To” Is Really “I’m Scared”

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/d5cf5262-e251-4ee3-ac6f-b3ea017e4f3e/transcript