Ever been halfway through a parenting reel thinking *“Oh wow, this is gold”… only to realise it’s actually terrible advice dressed up with pretty music and a pastel background? We’ve been there too. In today’s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack six pieces of popular parenting advice they’re choosing to ignore forever—and why you should too. From controlled crying to timeouts, “spoiling” kids with love, and the classic “just ignore the tantrum” strategy, we’re calling out the myths that sound helpful but harm connection. This episode is your permission slip to parent with heart, not hacks.

KEY POINTS:
Controlled crying is not independence training — It misunderstands attachment and ignores babies’ real needs.
Timeouts don’t teach, they isolate — Punishment in disguise erodes trust and connection.
Responsiveness isn’t spoiling — Kids thrive when we tune in, not tune out.
Ignoring tantrums doesn’t make them go away — Empathy teaches emotional regulation.
“Seen and not heard” is still hanging around (and still harmful) — Kids need space to be curious, push back respectfully, and develop their voice.
Self-soothing is a myth for little ones — Kids learn to calm down with us, not alone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
 “Abandoning children in their most vulnerable moments teaches them nothing—except that our love is conditional.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
The Whole-Brain Childby Dr. Daniel Siegel
Attachment research by Dr. Allan Schore

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Challenge bad advice — When you hear advice that feels off, trust your gut and check the research.
Choose connection over correction — When your child is distressed, meet them with empathy instead of isolation.
Be responsive, not reactive — Show up consistently so your child learns to regulate through co-regulation.
Make space for their voice — Let your kids respectfully question, push back, and express themselves.
Ditch the naughty chair — Find real discipline strategies that teach, not punish.

Ever been halfway through a parenting reel thinking *&ldquo;Oh wow, this is gold&rdquo;&hellip; only to realise it&rsquo;s actually terrible advice dressed up with pretty music and a pastel background? We&rsquo;ve been there too. In today&rsquo;s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack six pieces of popular parenting advice they&rsquo;re choosing to ignore forever&mdash;and why you should too. From controlled crying to timeouts, &ldquo;spoiling&rdquo; kids with love, and the classic&nbsp;&ldquo;just ignore the tantrum&rdquo; strategy, we&rsquo;re calling out the myths that sound helpful but harm connection. This episode is your permission slip to parent with heart, not hacks.
KEY POINTS:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Controlled crying is not independence training &mdash; It misunderstands attachment and ignores babies&rsquo; real needs.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Timeouts don&rsquo;t teach, they isolate &mdash; Punishment in disguise erodes trust and connection.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Responsiveness isn&rsquo;t spoiling &mdash; Kids thrive when we tune in, not tune out.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Ignoring tantrums doesn&rsquo;t make them go away &mdash; Empathy teaches emotional regulation.</li>
<li aria-level="1">&ldquo;Seen and not heard&rdquo; is still hanging around (and still harmful) &mdash; Kids need space to be curious, push back respectfully, and develop their voice.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Self-soothing is a myth for little ones &mdash; Kids learn to calm down with us, not alone.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: &ldquo;Abandoning children in their most vulnerable moments teaches them nothing&mdash;except that our love is conditional.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-whole-brain-child/">The Whole-Brain Child </a>by Dr. Daniel Siegel</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.allanschore.com/pdf/SchoreAttachHumDev.pdf">Attachment research</a> by Dr. Allan Schore</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Challenge bad advice &mdash; When you hear advice that feels off, trust your gut and check the research.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Choose connection over correction &mdash; When your child is distressed, meet them with empathy instead of isolation.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Be responsive, not reactive &mdash; Show up consistently so your child learns to regulate through co-regulation.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Make space for their voice &mdash; Let your kids respectfully question, push back, and express themselves.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Ditch the naughty chair &mdash; Find real discipline strategies that teach, not punish.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

The 6 Worst Parenting Tips We’re Never Taking Again

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/cec6a6fb-ed35-4c43-9996-b3b300ad3f42/transcript