Your child lies. You catch them. They double down. Now what?

When an 8-year-old swears they didn’t sneak the TV or the treats (even with chocolate on their face), most parents panic about what it means for the future.

In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie explain why lying is normal, why punishment makes it worse, and how to respond in a way that builds honesty instead of fear.

If you want truth without tears, this conversation changes everything.

KEY POINTS
Lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral collapse.
The harsher the punishment, the better kids get at hiding.
Shame damages relationships and kills honesty.
Most lies are about avoiding trouble or getting access to something they want.
The goal isn’t catching kids out — it’s solving the problem together.
You’ll have this conversation again and again. That’s normal parenting.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Lying is not a moral crisis. It’s a teachable moment.”

RELATED RESOURCES

#846 An Honest Conversation [podcast episode]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Stay calm. Avoid lectures and threats.
Say what you see instead of asking trap questions.
Make it safe to tell the truth.
Explain your concerns (health, sleep, fairness).
Collaborate on a plan everyone can live with.
Repeat the conversation as often as needed.

Submit your tricky question at happyfamilies.com.au

Your child lies. You catch them. They double down. Now what?
When an 8-year-old swears they didn&rsquo;t sneak the TV or the treats (even with chocolate on their face), most parents panic about what it means for the future.
In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie explain why lying is normal, why punishment makes it worse, and how to respond in a way that builds honesty instead of fear.
If you want truth without tears, this conversation changes everything.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral collapse.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The harsher the punishment, the better kids get at hiding.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Shame damages relationships and kills honesty.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Most lies are about avoiding trouble or getting access to something they want.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The goal isn&rsquo;t catching kids out &mdash; it&rsquo;s solving the problem together.</li>
<li aria-level="1">You&rsquo;ll have this conversation again and again. That&rsquo;s normal parenting.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Lying is not a moral crisis. It&rsquo;s a teachable moment.&rdquo;
RELATED RESOURCES
<a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/846-an-honest-conversation">#846 An Honest Conversation</a> [podcast episode]
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Stay calm. Avoid lectures and threats.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Say what you see instead of asking trap questions.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Make it safe to tell the truth.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Explain your concerns (health, sleep, fairness).</li>
<li aria-level="1">Collaborate on a plan everyone can live with.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Repeat the conversation as often as needed.</li>
</ol>
Submit your tricky question at <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast">happyfamilies.com.au</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Stop the Sneaky Lies Without Crushing Trust

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/7a7158f6-bb46-4d78-818c-b3ea017dd82d/transcript