Most of us think we know what to do when our child is being bullied—stand up to the bully, teach resilience, demand punishment. But what if those responses are making things worse?

In this No Bullying Week episode, Justin and Kylie bust the myths around bullying and offer counterintuitive, compassionate, and powerful alternatives. Discover what actually works to support kids being bullied—and how to raise kids who don’t become bullies in the first place.

KEY POINTS: 

If Your Child Is Being Bullied:
Stop telling kids to “stand up” to bullies. This victim-blaming advice ignores power dynamics and often escalates harm.
Avoid framing bullying as “character-building” or a “resilience opportunity.” Bullying is trauma. It’s not a test of toughness.
Don’t demand punishment. Zero-tolerance and “make them pay” approaches often backfire. The system needs repair—not retribution.

To Prevent Your Child from Bullying:
Watch for “dominance in disguise.” When we reward confidence or competitiveness without checking the impact on others, we may be reinforcing bullying.
Reflect on your parenting style. Harsh, authoritarian parenting models the very power-over behaviour we’re trying to prevent.
Go beyond “treat others how you want to be treated.” Help kids develop real empathy by guiding them to reflect on how others feel.

Bonus: Get your kids involved in service. Nothing builds empathy like helping others in need.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Our job isn’t to make kids bounce back from abuse. Our job is to make sure the abuse doesn’t happen in the first place.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [Article]
National Centre Against Bullying Conference
Wall Street Journal article on the parenting pendulum
Bullying No Way: A National Week of Action

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Work with the school: Ask for systemic solutions, not quick punishments.
Validate your child’s pain: Listen, believe, and support—without trying to “toughen them up.”
Model empathy and connection at home: Choose collaboration over control.
Encourage service and perspective-taking: Real-world connection builds character better than lectures ever could.

Most of us think we know what to do when our child is being bullied&mdash;stand up to the bully, teach resilience, demand punishment. But what if those responses are making things worse?
In this No Bullying Week episode, Justin and Kylie bust the myths around bullying and offer counterintuitive, compassionate, and powerful alternatives. Discover what actually works to support kids being bullied&mdash;and how to raise kids who don&rsquo;t become bullies in the first place.
KEY POINTS: 
If Your Child Is Being Bullied:
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Stop telling kids to &ldquo;stand up&rdquo; to bullies. This victim-blaming advice ignores power dynamics and often escalates harm.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Avoid framing bullying as &ldquo;character-building&rdquo; or a &ldquo;resilience opportunity.&rdquo; Bullying is trauma. It&rsquo;s not a test of toughness.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Don&rsquo;t demand punishment. Zero-tolerance and &ldquo;make them pay&rdquo; approaches often backfire. The system needs repair&mdash;not retribution.</li>
</ol>
To Prevent Your Child from Bullying:
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Watch for &ldquo;dominance in disguise.&rdquo; When we reward confidence or competitiveness without checking the impact on others, we may be reinforcing bullying.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Reflect on your parenting style. Harsh, authoritarian parenting models the very power-over behaviour we&rsquo;re trying to prevent.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Go beyond &ldquo;treat others how you want to be treated.&rdquo; Help kids develop real empathy by guiding them to reflect on how others feel.</li>
</ol>
Bonus: Get your kids involved in service. Nothing builds empathy like helping others in need.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
<blockquote>
&ldquo;Our job isn&rsquo;t to make kids bounce back from abuse. Our job is to make sure the abuse doesn&rsquo;t happen in the first place.&rdquo;
</blockquote>
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/when-your-child-is-bullied-a-calm-practical-guide-for-parents">When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents</a> [Article]</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.alannahandmadeline.org.au/what-we-do/prevention-programs/national-centre-against-bullying">National Centre Against Bullying Conference</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/fafo-gentle-parenting-625da658">Wall Street Journal article</a> on the parenting pendulum</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://bullyingnoway.gov.au/preventing-bullying/national-week-of-action">Bullying No Way: A National Week of Action</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Work with the school: Ask for systemic solutions, not quick punishments.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Validate your child&rsquo;s pain: Listen, believe, and support&mdash;without trying to &ldquo;toughen them up.&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Model empathy and connection at home: Choose collaboration over control.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Encourage service and perspective-taking: Real-world connection builds character better than lectures ever could.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Why Everything You’ve Heard About Bullying Is Wrong [No Bullying Week] 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/5bd19195-4247-4fad-b23f-b32f00c7b51e/transcript