Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match.

Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight.

KEY POINTS
Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion.
Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations.
Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility.
Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities.
How better sleep restores calm for the whole household.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “You deserve a partner, not a project.” – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES
Couples meeting [Podcast Episode]
The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover [Podcast Episode]
#452 Weaponised Incompetence [Podcast Episode]
Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar]
We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [Webinar]
A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download]
Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [Course for kids & teens]
#310 Bedtime is the Right Time [Podcast Episode]
#990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds [Podcast Episode]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Name the Load – Write down every daily task you’re carrying; share it with your partner without blame.
Set a Couple’s Meeting – Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support.
Prioritise Sleep – Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults.
Find Delight – Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep.

Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off&mdash;while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who&rsquo;s furious at a husband who won&rsquo;t pull his weight. Is it laziness, &ldquo;feigned incompetence,&rdquo; or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match.
Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends&mdash;Justin&rsquo;s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why &ldquo;feigned incompetence&rdquo; is a relationship killer&mdash;and how to call it out with compassion.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities.</li>
<li aria-level="1">How better sleep restores calm for the whole household.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;You deserve a partner, not a project.&rdquo; &ndash; Dr Justin Coulson
RESOURCES
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/273-coordinating-everything">Couples meeting</a> [Podcast Episode]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/the-importance-of-sleep-how-i-work-crossover">The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover</a> [Podcast Episode]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/452-weaponised-incompetence">#</a><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/452-weaponised-incompetence">452 Weaponised Incompetence</a> [Podcast Episode]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/parenting-on-the-same-page">Parenting On The Same Page</a>&nbsp;[Webinar]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/we-need-to-talk-about-parent-wellbeing">We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing</a>&nbsp;[Webinar]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/worry-stacking">A Grown Up&rsquo;s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!)</a>&nbsp;[Download]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/riding-the-waves-the-course">Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety</a> [Course for kids &amp; teens]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/310-bedtime-is-the-right-time">#310 Bedtime is the Right Time</a> [Podcast Episode]</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/990-mental-health-challenges-with-anne-hollonds">#990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne</a><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/990-mental-health-challenges-with-anne-hollonds"> Hollonds</a> [Podcast Episode]</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Name the Load &ndash; Write down every daily task you&rsquo;re carrying; share it with your partner without blame.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Set a Couple&rsquo;s Meeting &ndash; Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Prioritise Sleep &ndash; Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Find Delight &ndash; Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Lazy Husband or Overloaded Wife? Fixing the Uneven Load Before Resentment Wins

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/a71083d6-e0f1-425a-a30d-b35900360b72/transcript

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