We’ve been teaching kids resilience all wrong.

If you’ve ever watched your child fall apart over homework, friendships, or an impossibly messy bedroom - this episode reframes everything you think you know about “being strong.”

Resilience isn’t grit.
It isn’t white-knuckling.
And it definitely isn’t doing it alone.

Justin and Kylie unpack the powerful truth backed by decades of research: resilience is relational — and what our kids need most when they’re struggling is us, closer than ever.

KEY POINTS
Why “tough it out” parenting quietly backfires
The research that proves one relationship can change a child’s life
How support builds competence (not dependence)
What to do in the moment when your child feels overwhelmed
Why moving closer is the most powerful parenting move you can make

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Resilience isn’t doing it alone. It’s knowing you’re not alone while you do it.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Nine Ways to a Resilient Child — Justin Coulson
Emmy Werner’s Kauai Longitudinal Study
Harvard Study of Adult Development
happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
When your child is struggling, move closer — not further away
Sit with them instead of fixing it for them
Break big tasks into tiny, doable steps
Let your voice become the calm they borrow
Model asking for help — it teaches strength, not weakness

We&rsquo;ve been teaching kids resilience all wrong.
If you&rsquo;ve ever watched your child fall apart over homework, friendships, or an impossibly messy bedroom - this episode reframes everything you think you know about &ldquo;being strong.&rdquo;
Resilience isn&rsquo;t grit. It isn&rsquo;t white-knuckling. And it definitely isn&rsquo;t doing it alone.
Justin and Kylie unpack the powerful truth backed by decades of research: resilience is relational &mdash; and what our kids need most when they&rsquo;re struggling is us, closer than ever.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why &ldquo;tough it out&rdquo; parenting quietly backfires</li>
<li aria-level="1">The research that proves one relationship can change a child&rsquo;s life</li>
<li aria-level="1">How support builds competence (not dependence)</li>
<li aria-level="1">What to do in the moment when your child feels overwhelmed</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why moving closer is the most powerful parenting move you can make</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Resilience isn&rsquo;t doing it alone. It&rsquo;s knowing you&rsquo;re not alone while you do it.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780733334825/9-ways-to-a-resilient-child/">Nine Ways to a Resilient Child</a> &mdash; Justin Coulson</li>
<li aria-level="1">Emmy Werner&rsquo;s <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/1054139X92901577">Kauai Longitudinal Study</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Harvard <a href="https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/">Study of Adult Development</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="happyfamilies.com.au">happyfamilies.com.au</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">When your child is struggling, move closer &mdash; not further away</li>
<li aria-level="1">Sit with them instead of fixing it for them</li>
<li aria-level="1">Break big tasks into tiny, doable steps</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let your voice become the calm they borrow</li>
<li aria-level="1">Model asking for help &mdash; it teaches strength, not weakness</li>
</ul>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Resilience is Relational

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/ed75390d-1c20-427f-b301-b3e500b1bd3c/transcript