She thought parenting would be homemade cookies, flouncy dresses, and humming while folding laundry… but instead, she’s throwing plastic cups at walls.

In this hilarious, vulnerable, and unexpectedly heartwarming episode, Justin speaks with Victoria Vanstone—author, podcast host, and recovering party girl—about what happens when the perfect mum you imagined never actually shows up. From shouting matches and laptop guilt to near-death experiences and camping hacks, this conversation explores the wild reality of parenting and why just turning up—imperfectly—is more than enough.

KEY POINTS
Victoria’s journey from party girl to mum (and how giving up drinking gave her back her life)
The power of writing to reflect on and process parenting
Why self-awareness trumps perfection every time
Near-death moments and learning to live with risk as a parent
The guilt of being too attached to work—and what she did to fix it
Why camping within 5 km of home (and sneaking home to sleep) might be the ultimate parenting hack
What it really means to “mum” with heart, humour, and honesty

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"Having children means creating risk. Love means risking loss. And that’s parenting in a nutshell—heartwarming and heartbreaking, all in the same breath." — Victoria Vanstone

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent by Victoria Vanstone
A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone
Sober Awkwardpodcast
What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Embrace imperfection. Stop waiting for the “ideal” parent to show up—just keep showing up, messy and real.
Reflect and write. Whether you blog, journal, or just jot notes, self-awareness begins with reflection.
Seek help when needed. Whether it’s therapy, support groups, or just a trusted friend—reach out.
Put down the laptop. Create tech-free time zones at home where your child has your full attention.

Find your own hacks. Whether it’s camping close to home or hiring help, do what works for your family—without guilt.

She thought parenting would be homemade cookies, flouncy dresses, and humming while folding laundry&hellip; but instead, she&rsquo;s throwing plastic cups at walls.
In this hilarious, vulnerable, and unexpectedly heartwarming episode, Justin speaks with Victoria Vanstone&mdash;author, podcast host, and recovering party girl&mdash;about what happens when the perfect mum you imagined never actually shows up. From shouting matches and laptop guilt to near-death experiences and camping hacks, this conversation explores the wild reality of parenting and why just turning up&mdash;imperfectly&mdash;is more than enough.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Victoria&rsquo;s journey from party girl to mum (and how giving up drinking gave her back her life)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of writing to reflect on and process parenting</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why self-awareness trumps perfection every time</li>
<li aria-level="1">Near-death moments and learning to live with risk as a parent</li>
<li aria-level="1">The guilt of being too attached to work&mdash;and what she did to fix it</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why camping within 5 km of home (and sneaking home to sleep) might be the ultimate parenting hack</li>
<li aria-level="1">What it really means to &ldquo;mum&rdquo; with heart, humour, and honesty</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Having children means creating risk. Love means risking loss. And that&rsquo;s parenting in a nutshell&mdash;heartwarming and heartbreaking, all in the same breath." &mdash; Victoria Vanstone
RESOURCES MENTIONED 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.booktopia.com.au/mumming-victoria-vanstone/book/9780648618980.html?srsltid=AfmBOorE8Qf5idAtd6Pn-OqCh6V4Zzm5LxB18ykCzQYaPTyhBH8PbDYg">Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent</a> by Victoria Vanstone</li>
<li><a href="https://www.booktopia.com.au/a-thousand-wasted-sundays-victoria-vanstone/book/9780645757941.html?srsltid=AfmBOopxze8g6BO7qchFFk6p55awoSByJid_Yd7hrfmyzhNQxPhM7aYK">A Thousand Wasted Sundays</a> by Victoria Vanstone</li>
<li><a href="https://www.soberawkward.com/">Sober Awkward </a>podcast</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/what-your-child-needs-from-you">What Your Child Needs From You</a> by Dr Justin Coulson</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Embrace imperfection. Stop waiting for the &ldquo;ideal&rdquo; parent to show up&mdash;just keep showing up, messy and real.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Reflect and write. Whether you blog, journal, or just jot notes, self-awareness begins with reflection.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Seek help when needed. Whether it&rsquo;s therapy, support groups, or just a trusted friend&mdash;reach out.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Put down the laptop. Create tech-free time zones at home where your child has your full attention.</li>
</ol>
Find your own hacks. Whether it&rsquo;s camping close to home or hiring help, do what works for your family&mdash;without guilt.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1272 - Is The Mum I Hoped to Be Turning Up? With Victoria Vanstone

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/f6e0a471-214c-4438-bacf-b2f200bfb351/transcript