What do you do when your child comes home from the other parent’s house completely dysregulated—tantrums, tears, and turmoil? In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a grandparent caring for her four-year-old grandson. Together, they explore why these transitions are so tough, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how to create calm, connection, and consistency after a disruptive change in environment.

KEY POINTS:


Transition distress is common for kids moving between homes, especially in co-parenting situations.


Tantrums are not misbehaviour—they’re a child’s way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how to cope.”


Emotional storms after change can be a sign of trust—kids release emotions where they feel safest.


A “transition toolkit” can soften the landing when children return from the other parent’s house.


Predictable routines, consistent rituals, and physical or emotional regulation activities make a big difference.


Compassionate communication—within and between households—helps reduce stress and confusion for everyone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“The most important gift we can give our kids is a consistent, compassionate response.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:


happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting support and resources


Submit your own tricky question: podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au or leave a voice message at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:


Create a Soft Landing: After a transition, keep things calm, quiet, and low-stimulation. Avoid errands or activities.


Establish Connection Rituals: Use consistent, comforting activities like a shared snack, special book, or photo album.


Support Emotional Regulation: Offer hugs, breathing exercises, or safe physical play to help them reset.


Validate Without Endorsing: Accept their feelings (“It’s okay to be upset”) while gently guiding behaviour.


Use Visual Supports: Calendars, countdowns, and transitional objects (like a favourite toy or photo) help children prepare.


Communicate Across Households: When possible, work towards consistency in routines and expectations between homes.

What do you do when your child comes home from the other parent&rsquo;s house completely dysregulated&mdash;tantrums, tears, and turmoil? In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a grandparent caring for her four-year-old grandson. Together, they explore why these transitions are so tough, what&rsquo;s really going on beneath the surface, and how to create calm, connection, and consistency after a disruptive change in environment.
KEY POINTS:
<ul data-start="688" data-end="1340">
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
Transition distress is common for kids moving between homes, especially in co-parenting situations.
</li>
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
Tantrums are not misbehaviour&mdash;they&rsquo;re a child&rsquo;s way of saying, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m overwhelmed and don&rsquo;t know how to cope.&rdquo;
</li>
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
Emotional storms after change can be a sign of&nbsp;trust&mdash;kids release emotions where they feel safest.
</li>
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
A &ldquo;transition toolkit&rdquo; can soften the landing when children return from the other parent&rsquo;s house.
</li>
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
Predictable routines, consistent rituals, and physical or emotional regulation activities make a big difference.
</li>
<li data-start="688" data-end="795">
Compassionate communication&mdash;within and between households&mdash;helps reduce stress and confusion for everyone.
</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: &ldquo;The most important gift we can give our kids is a consistent, compassionate response.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
<ul data-start="1496" data-end="1740">
<li data-start="1496" data-end="1590">
<a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au" data-start="1498" data-end="1554">happyfamilies.com.au</a> &ndash; Parenting support and resources
</li>
<li data-start="1591" data-end="1740">
Submit your own tricky question: <a data-start="1626" data-end="1655">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a> or leave a voice message at <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au" data-start="1684" data-end="1740">happyfamilies.com.au</a>
</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
<ol data-start="1779" data-end="2518">
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Create a Soft Landing: After a transition, keep things calm, quiet, and low-stimulation. Avoid errands or activities.
</li>
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Establish Connection Rituals: Use consistent, comforting activities like a shared snack, special book, or photo album.
</li>
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Support Emotional Regulation: Offer hugs, breathing exercises, or safe physical play to help them reset.
</li>
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Validate Without Endorsing: Accept their feelings (&ldquo;It&rsquo;s okay to be upset&rdquo;) while gently guiding behaviour.
</li>
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Use Visual Supports: Calendars, countdowns, and transitional objects (like a favourite toy or photo) help children prepare.
</li>
<li data-start="1779" data-end="1905">
Communicate Across Households: When possible, work towards consistency in routines and expectations between homes.
</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1246 - Managing Transition Distress In Kids

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/e51194dc-7407-41b6-8620-b2d4002a5862/transcript