Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a mum who’s at her wit’s end with her highly creative—but very destructive—three-year-old. From nail polish on couches to crayon art on every surface, they explore what’s developmentally normal, why punishment may backfire, and how parents can redirect energy with connection, supervision, and playful problem-solving.

KEY POINTS:


Destructive behaviour in young children is often a sign of creativity and a desire to explore.


Supervision and engagement are key to reducing mischief.


Each child is different; parenting approaches should adapt to each child’s needs and the family’s season of life.


Redirection and empathy are more effective than blame and punishment.


Quality time and creating opportunities for appropriate creative expression can help children feel seen and understood.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Kids don’t lie the way adults do—they tell us what they wish the truth was.”

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:


Your child is not bad. They’re curious, creative, and still learning.


Meet big messes with calm, not shame. Use redirection to teach without damaging trust.


Invite cooperation by focusing on problem-solving together rather than punishment.


Blaming doesn’t teach responsibility—connection does.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:


I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maurine Reynolds Adamek


“Lessons Learned” Substack by Beck Delahoy—Blame and Shame Doesn’t Solve Anything

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:


Create safe, designated spaces for creative play—paper, washable markers, etc.


Increase supervision during high-risk moments (e.g., when things go quiet!).


Spend intentional quality time daily, even in short bursts.


Use imaginative redirection—like the “wicked mouse” approach—to encourage responsibility without shame.


Clean up with your child, not as punishment, but as a shared problem-solving opportunity.


Reflect on whether expectations are realistic for your child’s developmental stage.

Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a mum who&rsquo;s at her wit&rsquo;s end with her highly creative&mdash;but very destructive&mdash;three-year-old. From nail polish on couches to crayon art on every surface, they explore what&rsquo;s developmentally normal, why punishment may backfire, and how parents can redirect energy with connection, supervision, and playful problem-solving.
KEY POINTS:
<ul data-start="577" data-end="1042">
<li data-start="577" data-end="673">
Destructive behaviour in young children is often a sign of creativity and a desire to explore.
</li>
<li data-start="674" data-end="732">
Supervision and engagement are key to reducing mischief.
</li>
<li data-start="733" data-end="848">
Each child is different; parenting approaches should adapt to each child&rsquo;s needs and the family&rsquo;s season of life.
</li>
<li data-start="849" data-end="920">
Redirection and empathy are more effective than blame and punishment.
</li>
<li data-start="921" data-end="1042">
Quality time and creating opportunities for appropriate creative expression can help children feel seen and understood.
</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: &ldquo;Kids don&rsquo;t lie the way adults do&mdash;they tell us what they wish the truth was.&rdquo;
KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:
<ul data-start="1566" data-end="1867">
<li data-start="1566" data-end="1637">
Your child is not bad. They&rsquo;re curious, creative, and still learning.
</li>
<li data-start="1638" data-end="1726">
Meet big messes with calm, not shame. Use redirection to teach without damaging trust.
</li>
<li data-start="1727" data-end="1811">
Invite cooperation by focusing on problem-solving together rather than punishment.
</li>
<li data-start="1812" data-end="1867">
Blaming doesn&rsquo;t teach responsibility&mdash;connection does.
</li>
</ul>
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
<ul data-start="1896" data-end="2096">
<li data-start="1896" data-end="1954">
I&rsquo;ll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise&nbsp;by Maurine Reynolds Adamek
</li>
<li data-start="1955" data-end="2096">
&ldquo;Lessons Learned&rdquo; Substack by Beck Delahoy&mdash;<a href="https://beckdelahoy.substack.com/p/blame-and-shame-doesnt-solve-anything" data-start="2002" data-end="2076">Blame and Shame Doesn&rsquo;t Solve Anything</a>
</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
<ol data-start="2130" data-end="2653">
<li data-start="2130" data-end="2213">
Create safe, designated spaces for creative play&mdash;paper, washable markers, etc.
</li>
<li data-start="2214" data-end="2295">
Increase supervision during high-risk moments (e.g., when things go quiet!).
</li>
<li data-start="2296" data-end="2360">
Spend intentional quality time daily, even in short bursts.
</li>
<li data-start="2361" data-end="2469">
Use imaginative redirection&mdash;like the &ldquo;wicked mouse&rdquo; approach&mdash;to encourage responsibility without shame.
</li>
<li data-start="2470" data-end="2566">
Clean up with your child, not as punishment, but as a shared problem-solving opportunity.
</li>
<li data-start="2567" data-end="2653">
Reflect on whether expectations are realistic for your child&rsquo;s developmental stage.
</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1221 - My 3 Year Old is Destroying the House!

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/f427ba73-1a80-4ef9-8152-b2b601805e13/transcript