Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now, release slowly again, deep in, helle hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply deep well. I am deeply well. I am deeply well. I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land in your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care. I'm your host, Wie Brown. This is where we heal, this is where we transcend. If you're watching this show on YouTube, then I'm just kind of settling into place right now. Hello, And if you're listening, I am lighting a little bit of sage, filling the room, clearing the energy. I'm in my workshop doing this show. I'm doing my show in here every episode this season, which feels really good. I already felt like some of the shift taking place the last couple of episodes we have done for this new season. All right, welcome to another episode of Deeply Well. Today, we are diving deep into this subject of integrity. Really excited that one of the things I shared last episode is that as we explore this season, I've really found that so many of the people connecting to this show that have shared with me their thoughts and feelings are connecting deeply to the soul work and some of the self processing that we're able to do when we look at sometimes a core component of our being through a few different lenses in a few different ways. When we cleanse the lens of perception, so much opens up. So you know, when I think about integrity, I teach to integrity a lot in my work, and I believe that it's the foundation of how we move through life, and ultimately it's the foundation of everything we tend to create an experience in our lives. And I want to say that with a tremendous amount of compassion for the fact that sometimes having like high integrity actually feels like a luxury. A story that I share in my upcoming book Living Wisdom is I remember I was I was creating a lot of like integrity content last year, and I remember a lot of people were really connecting with it. It felt good to say and to share. And then someone sent me this comment and they're really upset. And I'm not gonna cuss right now, because it's a lot. It's kind of early in the morning for me, but I'm trying to convey it. But basically, you know, the person that saw this particular post said, shut the f up, I don't have time to think about integrity. Don't nobody have time to think about integrity when you're struggling. And when I read that comment, like, I just really got it, like I really felt what he was saying, and it's like, take away, you know, any I'm not offended by that, Like take away any perceived rudeness. Like he used a lot of colorful language, it was a lot, but I really got that right. Because it's like, unless we are able to zoom out enough, which very often takes time or just a lot of foundational crafting, being alive is hard, Being on earth is hard, and a lot of things happen to us, and for some people a lot more than most, and so it takes a while to zoom out to be able to hold that so many things can be true at once, and one of those things is that on a spiritual level, depending on your belief, but based on my belief, we are incarnating in this lifetime and we have a variety of experiences that we're going to move through and our experiences are rooted in our soul curriculum, our agreements with God, our karma in this lifetime and other lifetimes. And you know, it just it gets even more you know, incomprehensible, the more zoomed out you get. But that is a huge part of my foundation of belief. And so I think that's one of the reasons I hold integrity as a behavior, as an action, as a way of living in the way that I do, and I kind of study it and think of it in that way and observe it in others because that's what upholds everything else, and that's what shifts karma. And it isn't always the best feeling to have to be this quote unquote bigger person or the one that does things you know more so, as an example, doesn't always feel great. It can feel confusing. But if you are living with the desire to transcend your current experiences, to open up a more miraculous nature in your life, and to just really transcend some of the hardship you and the people in your family may have faced and some of the experiences, it's just paramount. It's the only way to do it. It's the cure, you know, and you're not right or wrong depending on how much you choose to connect to that. Ultimately it's between you and God. But that is kind of the way I look at it. And we're all going to drop the ball always. We're human. We are silly and ridiculous and very bizarre, and we have constant amnesia. We are constantly forgetting everything that we learn and then having to relearn it. And so you know, and myself included, it's like there is no perfection. Christ's example was the only one of perfection, and Christ was made perfect in mastery as the living example of all of the values that allow one to transcend and be as close as possible to God. But all right, so integrity. That is why I want to stay my team into this because I think once you figure out how to really use integrity and better choice make as a cure for some of the hardship and challenges you experience in life, life gets really pleasurable, fun interesting. You feel like you're in participation with it and it's not just happening to you. You feel like there is a co creation happening with you and God. And part of being able to really dive into that ability to alchemize and transform and transcend one's life or you know, manifest or whatever ways. You know, we want to really call in those laws of attraction, that ability to really magnetize things, being able to figure out where your levees are and what your cures are for things, and being able to find a lot of strength and dignity in walking an authentic path. I think that's what we are really taking it to the studs. You know, it's the most authentic path possible. So in this episode, kind of our part two episode of Integrity, I want to dive into so many of the areas that it shows up last episode. If you haven't listened yet, take a second. Also, don't forget we have our workbook for integrity this month, our Soul work book. So if you're sign up to the newsletter or you go on the website Debbie Brown dot com to do both, you can download a pdf and every month we're going to share soul work in this way, you can download it pretty easily to your computer to print it in all the things, and you can use it as your journal work. So I hope you find it useful. Do that get Comfy Let's dive. In last episode, we really tracked into what are some of the leading definitions of how that word is meant to be understood and applied foundationally. When we are changing things in our lives and making new choices, it's really important to look at how do we relate to our emotional world and to the words that we use sometimes, and then what is the actual truth of those words or what are the ways that other people are using them and relating to them. I'm always going to kind of root it in what's our working foundational definition for the work that we're doing together. So let's talk about integrity in a few facets, and if you have your journal with you for this episode, consider jotting just a couple quick thoughts down. But none of this work is meant to be done in the thirty to ninety minutes that you're going to be in an episode with me. None of it's meant to be done in just the week. And so I don't believe in tips and tricks. I don't believe in hacks. It's process, it's devotion, it's joyful discipline, and it's creating new pathways for yourself and all that just takes patient, beautiful time, and each of us can do it, and the slowing down is usually the hardest part. So just know that everything that we're exploring now, you don't have to get to the end of it by the end of this episode. I really invite you to listen back, to write things down, to just explore wherever your beautiful mind and heart take you, because you know the way. So today we're going to dive into in the way that it shows up integrity in relationships and friendships and even in the context of what is happening around us in the world. Because as above so below, when we have big themes that are happening in life, like right now what seems to be very much integrity versus not an integrity, we can almost assuredly find certain patterns and themes are showing up in our personal life too, right around the same time, because it just helps you get the work done faster, get to maximize the energetic potential of the moment. You know, kill two birds with one stone sounds awful, but you know that's saying due to things at once if you can and get the best benefit out of it. So we have it coming at us in a lot of different ways. So one of the first ways that I want to bring integrity forward right now and just start kind of like expanding your heart and mind to see where this could fit in. If you're not driving, I recommend take a few deep breaths right now. If that feels comfortable, we can do that together, doing it slowly and through the nose, slow and full out through an open mouth. Let all the air and breath really release from your body as we do that last one in and out. I find it really nice to do that throughout my day in a few different ways. Even just before starting a new thought or new story with someone, just taking a few deep breaths can really open up for us and clear the way to have thoughts that are more useful to what's in front of us. So one of the first pathways that I want to take us in this episode to think about how integrity is showing up in our lives. And again, as we dive into some of this work, lean a little bit less into the self judgment. I really would ask that you try to release it entirely, at least from this moment. You know, we have a lot of time that we spend in our heads being hard on ourselves. Maybe this time together is one of the places we don't have to do that. This is a safe zone, this is a no fly zone. Just try to take that piece out of it, but observe and bring up for a review how you relate to the theme of spiritual integrity given our baseline definition of the word, and where it really lands for you, and how you experience spirit in your life, religion in your life, religious practice, ritual in your life, or your connection to the creator, the Divine God, the universe, and so in the world of spiritual work, integrity is really all about alignment, all about alignment, alignment with your truth, with your purpose, and with the principles that are guiding to you. So one of the ways that I think we have started, which I really love because it's so powerful looking at your life through the lens of your value system. Right, I think looking at your life through the lens of your integrity system and all of these facets can be a deepening of any value system work you may have already done. Because our values are kind of those bigger, loftier things that we're resting our life on, and we don't always truly know the fullness of what our values are and what they represent until we do some of the deeper crevice work within ourselves. So this deeper kind of layer of integrity, I think can really get you even more deeply clear on how purpose moves in your life and what your value system is for your family, for your work, for all the things. So in the spiritual work, integrity again it's really really about alignment. It is about where you are with your truth, with your personal belief, with the way that you connect to your inner world and inner experiences. And this may be one of the most private ways that we experience integrity because when we experience integrity in the public facing world, whether people are right or wrong, there's a projection. Right when we're experiencing integrity and friendship, which we're going to get too soon, there's projection when we experience our integrity and relationships. There's always a certain level of feedback that's available to us. It always kind of relies on a give and receive and a participatory experience. But when we talk about spiritual integrity, it's one of the things that we're really our only source for feedback and the things that seem to be happening around us are how God provides the direct feedback for us on how much of alignment we may be in in any particular season or lifetime. And so when we're thinking about spiritual integrity, it really asks are you you showing up authentically in your practice in your inner world? Is who you're saying you are outside matching the internal way that you experience yourself and experience God. Spiritual integrity is especially important to think about if you're listening to this and you may hold any what's being called right now religious trauma, or if you've had experience where God or your belief system has been weaponized against you, either in your greater community or within your family, or if maybe you've just had certain things indoctrinated into you that you've come to now understand don't really align with the way that you experience God and your life and your values and the things that you believe. And so in spiritual integrity can really it's one of the most potent ways to start exploring yourself because it can really open things up from the inside out, and it's also going to become kind of the unshakable foundation that everything else we discuss in this series gets stacked upon. So this is the private work. This is the deepest of the crevice work, and this is the work that is most intimately connected to how you know yourself and how you behave as a person, as a spirit, as a child of God. And so you know, another thing that spiritual integrity asks is are you living what you teach? Whether you're a healer, a guide, or simply someone that is on a spiritual path with others. This integrity is essential to the work. It's about ensuring that the work we do for ourselves mirrors the work that we're doing for others. It also means some of that self care for self, you got to pour into your self and your connection with God relentlessly, consistently, continuously. Example of spiritual integrity is really seeing committed to your daily practices, especially when no one is watching. Are you praying? Are you talking to God? Are you building relationship with your life? You know, sometimes I talk to God all day every day. But another thing that you're talking to is I talk to my house a lot. I really experienced my house, and I know I shared this on the show before, but my nickname for my house is the Sacred medicine house. I experience like my home as some of God's divine protection in my life, and it's the nourishment of my family. So you know, as I say like, thank you God for my life, thank you God for my life, I'm always like, thank you Home for your love, thank you Home for caring for us, thank you Home for protecting us, for filling our life with beauty. But it's really been in this kind of active, open, blooming becoming relationship with the things that are most deeply connected to the intimacies of who and what you are as a person deeply well. So the next pillar within integrity, another lens to experience it within is integrity and friendship. We've been talking about this a lot, which is so exciting. I shared this last episode. I love hearing how curious people are about how to have better friendships. I think it's something our society has really needed to understand for a lot a long time. And as someone that like loves being a good friend, I remember, like a few years ago, I had a prayer where I was just like, God, please help me be a better like give me opportunities to better serve my friends, And that actually opened up divine opportunity to see some friends leave my life and some new friends come into my life. But it always deepened how far I could go with someone. And so, you know, I think a lot of people are looking for more than just a photo op these days the last fifteen years, in large part due to the pervasiveness of the social media lens that we view ourselves and our worth and our life through. You know, a lot of people just thought those open mouth photo ops of like performative joy was friendship or just sometimes leaving the comment which is so great and beautiful, like don't take away from that believing the comment or alike on a person's post like that that equated intimacy or depth or an ability to really count on someone. And I think it's really beautiful that a lot of people are craving and longing and looking for more. They may have realized that, hey, I can go deeper than that, and I'm ready to. And so as we look at that, it's important to get foundational about friendship. I think sometimes we disregard as a society friendship in just a really disrespectful and bizarre way. You know, Like a lot of people I'll see sometimes will have so much more grace for a romantic connection they just met and don't really know than they will for like a lifelong friend. And it's strange, you know, It's like those seem to be the area sometimes where people can really play out some of their trauma and play out some of their family systems and get into those authoritative dynamics or passive aggressive dynamics or sometimes cruel dynamics. And so as you look to broaden your friendship life as if that's where you are in this moment in time, really let integrity be one of the measuring sticks you use to notice if it's mutually beneficial or not. So integrity and friendship means really showing up, honestly, being there when you say you will, communicating openly and openly, especially when things are good and when things feel off. I've noticed sometimes in friendships, when I'm leading groups or workshops where we're kind of diving into this concept, a lot of friends won't even share their happiness or joy about friendship with the friend they're spending time with because there's this fear. There's a fear of abandonment or rejection or being considered weak or soft, depending on what your background looks like, or depending on what your friend betrayal may have been in the past, because friend betrayal is an incredibly deep and significant and painful trauma. But not being open enough to communicate the happiness, and not being open enough to communicate the disappointment, the disappointment and the sadness sometimes and you know, or the frustration or the anger, and it's like, all of it is welcome in relationship. If we expect to be in a relationship with anything. It's reflected in the relationships we have with God and Spirit. It's reflected in the relationships we have with our families. It's reflected in the relationships that we have with our lovers, with our significant others, and the relationships we have with our children. All emotions are a part of all relationships, and so not saying that it's possible to do with all friends, especially depending on how many you have, you know, but having a couple at least one where you are able to be that authentic self, You're able to voice when you're let down. You're also able to stomach when you've let someone else down and be honest and accountable about it. It's incredibly important you know, not just the good times, but like, can you just be quiet together? Can you just spend time next to someone and not fill it with relentless conversation. There's time for that too. But you know, I judge a lot of my friendships and how comfortable are we when we can just sit next to each other and be completely disconnected from performance and just be in the nature of one another's energy. I love feeling that with people that I feel strongly connected to. So, you know, think about you know, how does someone make you feel like really in your bones, like really in your body, intuitively trust yourself? Do you feel on edge around people? Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Are you noticing that you make other people feel that way or they may be having that projected reaction to you for other reasons? Are there opportunities to open in conversation about any of it? You know, start getting curious, ask questions. Are you asking your friends enough questions? Are they asking enough questions about you? Are they asking follow up questions to stories you've told and things that you've shared. All of these things are the nature of what being in relationship is. So when these things are missing, we can't necessarily be in the deepest level of intimacy with friends, of connection, of support, or integrity with our friendships. Integrity and friendship is about being present, even in moments of discomfort, even in moments when things get tough. You know, how often are we showing up as who we know ourselves to be? How often are we looking to take opportunity? Like maybe if we're hearing something a friend says and we know that doesn't actually align with who we know them to be or with their values, are we speaking up? Are we nervous about it? We're nervous about it, and we don't do it. We might be dropping our ball on the agreement we've made spiritually to our friends. You know, it's like, are you able to tell the truth in this connection? And is someone able to tell the truth with you? The answer to all the things that I'm asking, by the way, is not going to be universally. Yes, that doesn't mean drop the friendship. It might for some I trust you'll explore that and you'll follow your gut. But sometimes it's about having the conversation and then giving yourselves the time in the space to explore a new mode of communication with each other that is possible. So a good example might be again like having a tough conversation with a friend, telling them something they need to hear, even if it's difficult. Because integrity does not always mean harmony. Integrity does not always mean pleasant. It means truth, it means respect, it means presence with what is Yeah, And just another little thing I'd love to add for people exploring new friendship with people, really start noticing if you're able to be kind of like not just deep you, but like the silly flirty you. You know, what is the lightest form of who you are as long as it's authentic. That is so necessary in friendship, not just like kind of rehashing the worries and the tragedies sometimes or you know, the kind of both being mad at somebody together, but like, how light can you authentically be with another person? Not evasive, but how light can you be with someone? That adds so much pleasure in a connection. So another facet to look at integrity. This is our third one is integrity in relationships, especially romantic loving relationships. It is so so so so important. This is a huge one. This is the one that creates very often generational legacy and how you're showing up in your intimate relationships. So when we talk about integrity of love, it is not just about being necessarily faithful in the traditional sense. It's about being faithful to the emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of the relationship. Are you being transparent about who you are, what your needs are? And when we talk about needs, it's so important to understand and identify how do we even define that word for ourselves and how do we see it defined other places. We're gonna have to do a whole other month deep dive podcast situation on needs alone. We can't do that all right now, but I will say, you know, the more work I've done on myself, the more I've really realized and fallen in love with the fact that I meet so many of my own needs effortlessly, especially the emotional ones, and so a deep need I often haven't. Relationship is like connecting to people that see the world similarly, that have a heart like mine, that see beauty in the planet the way that I do, that have a playfulness with life in the way that I do, that have fascinations and interests, perhaps with the same level of intensity. There is a respect for service and for beauty and for empathy. That's a deep need. Like, if that's not present for me in a relationship, it would be very hard for me to be in the relationship and give the way that I want to give in the relationship because that is such a core need for me. But especially because I'm not really in as much requirement for as many of the other things, I feel really good in those areas. But I think for each of us those are different. Right. For some it may be I need someone who has a tremendous amount of sensitivity to my emotional life. And that's what we have to identify when we're establishing What is integrity and a relationship? To me, what is the way that I show up in integrity for another? So are you being transparent about those needs? Are you showing up as your full self? Are you giving your partner the space to do the same. Integrity and relationship means being very clear about your boundaries, having expectations not just for the other person, but expectations and really codes of conduct for your own behavior and not just your behavior in the world, your behavior when you're with other people. You may be attracted to, but like what is the core of your behavior, because my expectation and relationships is that your character is bringing as much goodwill into our dynamic as mine is. Like I live my life in such a way that my hope and tention and desire is that I'm bringing good fortune, protect community, and care to my children and my grandchildren even when I'm not on the planet. And if you are in relationship with someone that has a strong level of integrity, you'll notice that that happens in your love relationship too, when you are given the benefit of the doubt by other people, or you're given goodwill or having good luck in other areas, because the person you're an intimate, deep connection and relationship with is magnetizing those experiences to themselves too. You know, integrity isn't just this code of conduct, it's also sometimes this antenna that goes out and brings so much into your life effortlessly integrity and relationships. Are you communicating with love, respect, compassion, honesty. A good question to ask yourself when you're in communication with another person in your own mind and heart, especially if it's a challenging one. What would unconditional love do? What would unconditional love say? What would someone in Mastery of Love do or say so? An example of integrity and relationships could be very clear and honest about who and what you are, your boundaries very early in a relationship, sticking to them most, especially when it's uncomfortable and when things get intense, and staying true to the agreements that you've made with your partner and yourself and really you know, those areas I think where those foundational beliefs, you know, especially in Christ's teaching, come forward, like do unto others is you'd have done unto you? The golden rule. You know, that is something we say it was such pleasantry, and very often it's been said in environments that maybe it wasn't. Also the behaviored in matter, but the fundamental core of that is integrity. Do unto others is you'd have them do unto you, especially and also when they're not behaving as good as you are, can you still keep that high level of personal behavior too? Sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no, that's life, but that is the goal. So that is integrity and relationships. So the three ways we've kind of looked at integrity today just to recap for us as you do some soul work around this and kind of deepen in the way that you want to carve this out for you and your life and your beliefs. Is where are you in your spiritual integrity? Where are you in your friendship integrity? And then where are you in your relationship integrity? Relationship integrity in terms of those intimate, romantic, true loving connections and the intimacy of those familial connections, the intimacy of parental connections with your parents or with your kids. How does your integrity operate in those containers? A few ways for you to kind of reflect on now, how integrity shows up. Integrity shows up in the small things. It's when you decide to make the right choice even when no one is watching. It's when you decide to make the right choice for yourself, right like, are you having integrity for you some of those deeper things? Are you staying in things too long and letting yourself delude yourself sometimes into thinking that it's righteous to do so or that it somehow equates goodness when it's self punishment and fear. You know, only we can decide what those things are for ourself, but bring it up for a review. It's when you show up to keep your word, when you honor your commitment, when you choose to act with honesty even when it's not convenient. And this is in every facet at work. Are you showing up at home? Are you showing up for yourself? Privately? Are you showing up? I think about integrity personally every day in my work and how I show up for my team, for myself and for those that God calls me to serve. It's about staying aligned. So a lot of my integrity for myself is really being who I say I am in my daily practice and the privacy of my own home and life, like meditating every day even when I'm having a really challenging day or I'm having an anxious day. It's doing the things that really support my body and the health and the vibrancy I want to have even when it's annoying, even when I don't want to. It's writing reminders everywhere in my house, so I will do these things that I know allow me to be the person that I say I am. It's about being aligned with my purpose, being transparent in all aspects of my life. So often, integrity isn't loud or flashy Integrity is truly subtle, it's quiet, and it's deeply lived experience. I'm going to say that one more time for everyone. Integrity is not loud or flashy. Integrity is subtle, it's dignified, it's quiet, and it's lived and embodied. We're a couple weeks away here in the US if you're listening in the States to what will be our twenty twenty four election, and so as you continue to reflect that inner work of integrity that you're doing, where it's showing up around you and the people that are in your life, do those soul work questions that are in that download Debbie Brown dot com at Deeply Well pod at Debbie Brown on Instagram. The election is a few weeks away. Integrity is going to play a crucial role in how leaders show up. We must demand require it, we must look at the historic proof of it. It's essential on how we show up as voters. Integrity in this aspect means staying informed, not just following the crowd or choosing based on convenience. And by not just following the crowd, it doesn't also mean just be a devil's advocate or just be a contrarian and do the opposite. It means sit in the tenets of everything that we're talking about. What does the position really require and what are people capable of doing? You know, and take this false ideal again. I'm going to say it again, it's not about who you can trust the most. We don't really know. We don't know these people. You don't know. There's a lot of people in your day to day life and in your families you can't and don't trust. Who can do the job, Who has the excellence, who has the historical evidence of doing the job, Who can be accountable, who can do it when they don't feel like doing it, Who can put the responsibility of what's at hand ahead of their own gain, need for pleasure, need for recognition. Who can do it with integrity and in a way that allows us to show up powerfully in the world, in true power, not performative power. It's really important to be thinking that way. With those principles in mind. We'll see integrity in how candidates honor their promises or they don't, and we'll see it in how we hold them accountable and how we engage with the political process ourselves. Democracy thrives on integrity it thrives on the inte of the people participating in it. So something to think about, as we kind of in this episode. Just yeah, continue to savor. Sink your teeth into this conversation. See how it's showing up for you uniquely and your beautifully divinely designed an aligned life, and let me know, let me know how it's feeling, how it's flowing. Share this episode with a friend and write someone else into this conversation. Journal journal, journal, Meditate, Meditate, Meditate, Take a deep breath with me here, beautiful. Next episode, we're going to dive into it even more deeply. And before we end this episode, I'm really excited to share that officially, our Deeply Well podcast merch is now available. Go to Debbie Brown dot com if you are listening to this episode on YouTube. If you're watching it, I have one of the shirts on now. I'm wearing the black kind of charcoal colored shirt that says healer on it and has a healing hand. It's my favorite one. I wear this shirt a lot, so you can see this right now in the video that is up on the website. We also have this one, and they're all kind of made to be oversized, So there's one that says surprise me God, which is one of my favorite sayings that came to me at a really pivotal point in my journey. We also have one that just reps the podcast entirely and lets people know how you feel you are deeply Well. We have another little crop top that's another healer shirt. So we have big oversized shirts and then oversized crop tops because this is just my jam. And then also a Deeply Well shirt this looks so good, oh y'all, And the one that I'm wearing. And then our hats. I love these colors. We got nice little green and a nice little terracotta color, and this is a healer hat well. So you can find all that on the website Debbie Brown dot com. I hope you love it. If you get it, hit me, tweet me, instagram me, TikTok me, you know all the social media things that we do at Debbie Brown. No mistay say the content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance, and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for any specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget, Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacquess Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now, release slowly again, deep in, helle hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply deep well. I am deeply well. I am deeply well. I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land in your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care. I'm your host, Wie Brown. This is where we heal, this is where we transcend. If you're watching this show on YouTube, then I'm just kind of settling into place right now. Hello, And if you're listening, I am lighting a little bit of sage, filling the room, clearing the energy. I'm in my workshop doing this show. I'm doing my show in here every episode this season, which feels really good. I already felt like some of the shift taking place the last couple of episodes we have done for this new season. All right, welcome to another episode of Deeply Well. Today, we are diving deep into this subject of integrity. Really excited that one of the things I shared last episode is that as we explore this season, I've really found that so many of the people connecting to this show that have shared with me their thoughts and feelings are connecting deeply to the soul work and some of the self processing that we're able to do when we look at sometimes a core component of our being through a few different lenses in a few different ways. When we cleanse the lens of perception, so much opens up. So you know, when I think about integrity, I teach to integrity a lot in my work, and I believe that it's the foundation of how we move through life, and ultimately it's the foundation of everything we tend to create an experience in our lives. And I want to say that with a tremendous amount of compassion for the fact that sometimes having like high integrity actually feels like a luxury. A story that I share in my upcoming book Living Wisdom is I remember I was I was creating a lot of like integrity content last year, and I remember a lot of people were really connecting with it. It felt good to say and to share. And then someone sent me this comment and they're really upset. And I'm not gonna cuss right now, because it's a lot. It's kind of early in the morning for me, but I'm trying to convey it. But basically, you know, the person that saw this particular post said, shut the f up, I don't have time to think about integrity. Don't nobody have time to think about integrity when you're struggling. And when I read that comment, like, I just really got it, like I really felt what he was saying, and it's like, take away, you know, any I'm not offended by that, Like take away any perceived rudeness. Like he used a lot of colorful language, it was a lot, but I really got that right. Because it's like, unless we are able to zoom out enough, which very often takes time or just a lot of foundational crafting, being alive is hard, Being on earth is hard, and a lot of things happen to us, and for some people a lot more than most, and so it takes a while to zoom out to be able to hold that so many things can be true at once, and one of those things is that on a spiritual level, depending on your belief, but based on my belief, we are incarnating in this lifetime and we have a variety of experiences that we're going to move through and our experiences are rooted in our soul curriculum, our agreements with God, our karma in this lifetime and other lifetimes. And you know, it just it gets even more you know, incomprehensible, the more zoomed out you get. But that is a huge part of my foundation of belief. And so I think that's one of the reasons I hold integrity as a behavior, as an action, as a way of living in the way that I do, and I kind of study it and think of it in that way and observe it in others because that's what upholds everything else, and that's what shifts karma. And it isn't always the best feeling to have to be this quote unquote bigger person or the one that does things you know more so, as an example, doesn't always feel great. It can feel confusing. But if you are living with the desire to transcend your current experiences, to open up a more miraculous nature in your life, and to just really transcend some of the hardship you and the people in your family may have faced and some of the experiences, it's just paramount. It's the only way to do it. It's the cure, you know, and you're not right or wrong depending on how much you choose to connect to that. Ultimately it's between you and God. But that is kind of the way I look at it. And we're all going to drop the ball always. We're human. We are silly and ridiculous and very bizarre, and we have constant amnesia. We are constantly forgetting everything that we learn and then having to relearn it. And so you know, and myself included, it's like there is no perfection. Christ's example was the only one of perfection, and Christ was made perfect in mastery as the living example of all of the values that allow one to transcend and be as close as possible to God. But all right, so integrity. That is why I want to stay my team into this because I think once you figure out how to really use integrity and better choice make as a cure for some of the hardship and challenges you experience in life, life gets really pleasurable, fun interesting. You feel like you're in participation with it and it's not just happening to you. You feel like there is a co creation happening with you and God. And part of being able to really dive into that ability to alchemize and transform and transcend one's life or you know, manifest or whatever ways. You know, we want to really call in those laws of attraction, that ability to really magnetize things, being able to figure out where your levees are and what your cures are for things, and being able to find a lot of strength and dignity in walking an authentic path. I think that's what we are really taking it to the studs. You know, it's the most authentic path possible. So in this episode, kind of our part two episode of Integrity, I want to dive into so many of the areas that it shows up last episode. If you haven't listened yet, take a second. Also, don't forget we have our workbook for integrity this month, our Soul work book. So if you're sign up to the newsletter or you go on the website Debbie Brown dot com to do both, you can download a pdf and every month we're going to share soul work in this way, you can download it pretty easily to your computer to print it in all the things, and you can use it as your journal work. So I hope you find it useful. Do that get Comfy Let's dive. In last episode, we really tracked into what are some of the leading definitions of how that word is meant to be understood and applied foundationally. When we are changing things in our lives and making new choices, it's really important to look at how do we relate to our emotional world and to the words that we use sometimes, and then what is the actual truth of those words or what are the ways that other people are using them and relating to them. I'm always going to kind of root it in what's our working foundational definition for the work that we're doing together. So let's talk about integrity in a few facets, and if you have your journal with you for this episode, consider jotting just a couple quick thoughts down. But none of this work is meant to be done in the thirty to ninety minutes that you're going to be in an episode with me. None of it's meant to be done in just the week. And so I don't believe in tips and tricks. I don't believe in hacks. It's process, it's devotion, it's joyful discipline, and it's creating new pathways for yourself and all that just takes patient, beautiful time, and each of us can do it, and the slowing down is usually the hardest part. So just know that everything that we're exploring now, you don't have to get to the end of it by the end of this episode. I really invite you to listen back, to write things down, to just explore wherever your beautiful mind and heart take you, because you know the way. So today we're going to dive into in the way that it shows up integrity in relationships and friendships and even in the context of what is happening around us in the world. Because as above so below, when we have big themes that are happening in life, like right now what seems to be very much integrity versus not an integrity, we can almost assuredly find certain patterns and themes are showing up in our personal life too, right around the same time, because it just helps you get the work done faster, get to maximize the energetic potential of the moment. You know, kill two birds with one stone sounds awful, but you know that's saying due to things at once if you can and get the best benefit out of it. So we have it coming at us in a lot of different ways. So one of the first ways that I want to bring integrity forward right now and just start kind of like expanding your heart and mind to see where this could fit in. If you're not driving, I recommend take a few deep breaths right now. If that feels comfortable, we can do that together, doing it slowly and through the nose, slow and full out through an open mouth. Let all the air and breath really release from your body as we do that last one in and out. I find it really nice to do that throughout my day in a few different ways. Even just before starting a new thought or new story with someone, just taking a few deep breaths can really open up for us and clear the way to have thoughts that are more useful to what's in front of us. So one of the first pathways that I want to take us in this episode to think about how integrity is showing up in our lives. And again, as we dive into some of this work, lean a little bit less into the self judgment. I really would ask that you try to release it entirely, at least from this moment. You know, we have a lot of time that we spend in our heads being hard on ourselves. Maybe this time together is one of the places we don't have to do that. This is a safe zone, this is a no fly zone. Just try to take that piece out of it, but observe and bring up for a review how you relate to the theme of spiritual integrity given our baseline definition of the word, and where it really lands for you, and how you experience spirit in your life, religion in your life, religious practice, ritual in your life, or your connection to the creator, the Divine God, the universe, and so in the world of spiritual work, integrity is really all about alignment, all about alignment, alignment with your truth, with your purpose, and with the principles that are guiding to you. So one of the ways that I think we have started, which I really love because it's so powerful looking at your life through the lens of your value system. Right, I think looking at your life through the lens of your integrity system and all of these facets can be a deepening of any value system work you may have already done. Because our values are kind of those bigger, loftier things that we're resting our life on, and we don't always truly know the fullness of what our values are and what they represent until we do some of the deeper crevice work within ourselves. So this deeper kind of layer of integrity, I think can really get you even more deeply clear on how purpose moves in your life and what your value system is for your family, for your work, for all the things. So in the spiritual work, integrity again it's really really about alignment. It is about where you are with your truth, with your personal belief, with the way that you connect to your inner world and inner experiences. And this may be one of the most private ways that we experience integrity because when we experience integrity in the public facing world, whether people are right or wrong, there's a projection. Right when we're experiencing integrity and friendship, which we're going to get too soon, there's projection when we experience our integrity and relationships. There's always a certain level of feedback that's available to us. It always kind of relies on a give and receive and a participatory experience. But when we talk about spiritual integrity, it's one of the things that we're really our only source for feedback and the things that seem to be happening around us are how God provides the direct feedback for us on how much of alignment we may be in in any particular season or lifetime. And so when we're thinking about spiritual integrity, it really asks are you you showing up authentically in your practice in your inner world? Is who you're saying you are outside matching the internal way that you experience yourself and experience God. Spiritual integrity is especially important to think about if you're listening to this and you may hold any what's being called right now religious trauma, or if you've had experience where God or your belief system has been weaponized against you, either in your greater community or within your family, or if maybe you've just had certain things indoctrinated into you that you've come to now understand don't really align with the way that you experience God and your life and your values and the things that you believe. And so in spiritual integrity can really it's one of the most potent ways to start exploring yourself because it can really open things up from the inside out, and it's also going to become kind of the unshakable foundation that everything else we discuss in this series gets stacked upon. So this is the private work. This is the deepest of the crevice work, and this is the work that is most intimately connected to how you know yourself and how you behave as a person, as a spirit, as a child of God. And so you know, another thing that spiritual integrity asks is are you living what you teach? Whether you're a healer, a guide, or simply someone that is on a spiritual path with others. This integrity is essential to the work. It's about ensuring that the work we do for ourselves mirrors the work that we're doing for others. It also means some of that self care for self, you got to pour into your self and your connection with God relentlessly, consistently, continuously. Example of spiritual integrity is really seeing committed to your daily practices, especially when no one is watching. Are you praying? Are you talking to God? Are you building relationship with your life? You know, sometimes I talk to God all day every day. But another thing that you're talking to is I talk to my house a lot. I really experienced my house, and I know I shared this on the show before, but my nickname for my house is the Sacred medicine house. I experience like my home as some of God's divine protection in my life, and it's the nourishment of my family. So you know, as I say like, thank you God for my life, thank you God for my life, I'm always like, thank you Home for your love, thank you Home for caring for us, thank you Home for protecting us, for filling our life with beauty. But it's really been in this kind of active, open, blooming becoming relationship with the things that are most deeply connected to the intimacies of who and what you are as a person deeply well. So the next pillar within integrity, another lens to experience it within is integrity and friendship. We've been talking about this a lot, which is so exciting. I shared this last episode. I love hearing how curious people are about how to have better friendships. I think it's something our society has really needed to understand for a lot a long time. And as someone that like loves being a good friend, I remember, like a few years ago, I had a prayer where I was just like, God, please help me be a better like give me opportunities to better serve my friends, And that actually opened up divine opportunity to see some friends leave my life and some new friends come into my life. But it always deepened how far I could go with someone. And so, you know, I think a lot of people are looking for more than just a photo op these days the last fifteen years, in large part due to the pervasiveness of the social media lens that we view ourselves and our worth and our life through. You know, a lot of people just thought those open mouth photo ops of like performative joy was friendship or just sometimes leaving the comment which is so great and beautiful, like don't take away from that believing the comment or alike on a person's post like that that equated intimacy or depth or an ability to really count on someone. And I think it's really beautiful that a lot of people are craving and longing and looking for more. They may have realized that, hey, I can go deeper than that, and I'm ready to. And so as we look at that, it's important to get foundational about friendship. I think sometimes we disregard as a society friendship in just a really disrespectful and bizarre way. You know, Like a lot of people I'll see sometimes will have so much more grace for a romantic connection they just met and don't really know than they will for like a lifelong friend. And it's strange, you know, It's like those seem to be the area sometimes where people can really play out some of their trauma and play out some of their family systems and get into those authoritative dynamics or passive aggressive dynamics or sometimes cruel dynamics. And so as you look to broaden your friendship life as if that's where you are in this moment in time, really let integrity be one of the measuring sticks you use to notice if it's mutually beneficial or not. So integrity and friendship means really showing up, honestly, being there when you say you will, communicating openly and openly, especially when things are good and when things feel off. I've noticed sometimes in friendships, when I'm leading groups or workshops where we're kind of diving into this concept, a lot of friends won't even share their happiness or joy about friendship with the friend they're spending time with because there's this fear. There's a fear of abandonment or rejection or being considered weak or soft, depending on what your background looks like, or depending on what your friend betrayal may have been in the past, because friend betrayal is an incredibly deep and significant and painful trauma. But not being open enough to communicate the happiness, and not being open enough to communicate the disappointment, the disappointment and the sadness sometimes and you know, or the frustration or the anger, and it's like, all of it is welcome in relationship. If we expect to be in a relationship with anything. It's reflected in the relationships we have with God and Spirit. It's reflected in the relationships we have with our families. It's reflected in the relationships that we have with our lovers, with our significant others, and the relationships we have with our children. All emotions are a part of all relationships, and so not saying that it's possible to do with all friends, especially depending on how many you have, you know, but having a couple at least one where you are able to be that authentic self, You're able to voice when you're let down. You're also able to stomach when you've let someone else down and be honest and accountable about it. It's incredibly important you know, not just the good times, but like, can you just be quiet together? Can you just spend time next to someone and not fill it with relentless conversation. There's time for that too. But you know, I judge a lot of my friendships and how comfortable are we when we can just sit next to each other and be completely disconnected from performance and just be in the nature of one another's energy. I love feeling that with people that I feel strongly connected to. So, you know, think about you know, how does someone make you feel like really in your bones, like really in your body, intuitively trust yourself? Do you feel on edge around people? Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Are you noticing that you make other people feel that way or they may be having that projected reaction to you for other reasons? Are there opportunities to open in conversation about any of it? You know, start getting curious, ask questions. Are you asking your friends enough questions? Are they asking enough questions about you? Are they asking follow up questions to stories you've told and things that you've shared. All of these things are the nature of what being in relationship is. So when these things are missing, we can't necessarily be in the deepest level of intimacy with friends, of connection, of support, or integrity with our friendships. Integrity and friendship is about being present, even in moments of discomfort, even in moments when things get tough. You know, how often are we showing up as who we know ourselves to be? How often are we looking to take opportunity? Like maybe if we're hearing something a friend says and we know that doesn't actually align with who we know them to be or with their values, are we speaking up? Are we nervous about it? We're nervous about it, and we don't do it. We might be dropping our ball on the agreement we've made spiritually to our friends. You know, it's like, are you able to tell the truth in this connection? And is someone able to tell the truth with you? The answer to all the things that I'm asking, by the way, is not going to be universally. Yes, that doesn't mean drop the friendship. It might for some I trust you'll explore that and you'll follow your gut. But sometimes it's about having the conversation and then giving yourselves the time in the space to explore a new mode of communication with each other that is possible. So a good example might be again like having a tough conversation with a friend, telling them something they need to hear, even if it's difficult. Because integrity does not always mean harmony. Integrity does not always mean pleasant. It means truth, it means respect, it means presence with what is Yeah, And just another little thing I'd love to add for people exploring new friendship with people, really start noticing if you're able to be kind of like not just deep you, but like the silly flirty you. You know, what is the lightest form of who you are as long as it's authentic. That is so necessary in friendship, not just like kind of rehashing the worries and the tragedies sometimes or you know, the kind of both being mad at somebody together, but like, how light can you authentically be with another person? Not evasive, but how light can you be with someone? That adds so much pleasure in a connection. So another facet to look at integrity. This is our third one is integrity in relationships, especially romantic loving relationships. It is so so so so important. This is a huge one. This is the one that creates very often generational legacy and how you're showing up in your intimate relationships. So when we talk about integrity of love, it is not just about being necessarily faithful in the traditional sense. It's about being faithful to the emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of the relationship. Are you being transparent about who you are, what your needs are? And when we talk about needs, it's so important to understand and identify how do we even define that word for ourselves and how do we see it defined other places. We're gonna have to do a whole other month deep dive podcast situation on needs alone. We can't do that all right now, but I will say, you know, the more work I've done on myself, the more I've really realized and fallen in love with the fact that I meet so many of my own needs effortlessly, especially the emotional ones, and so a deep need I often haven't. Relationship is like connecting to people that see the world similarly, that have a heart like mine, that see beauty in the planet the way that I do, that have a playfulness with life in the way that I do, that have fascinations and interests, perhaps with the same level of intensity. There is a respect for service and for beauty and for empathy. That's a deep need. Like, if that's not present for me in a relationship, it would be very hard for me to be in the relationship and give the way that I want to give in the relationship because that is such a core need for me. But especially because I'm not really in as much requirement for as many of the other things, I feel really good in those areas. But I think for each of us those are different. Right. For some it may be I need someone who has a tremendous amount of sensitivity to my emotional life. And that's what we have to identify when we're establishing What is integrity and a relationship? To me, what is the way that I show up in integrity for another? So are you being transparent about those needs? Are you showing up as your full self? Are you giving your partner the space to do the same. Integrity and relationship means being very clear about your boundaries, having expectations not just for the other person, but expectations and really codes of conduct for your own behavior and not just your behavior in the world, your behavior when you're with other people. You may be attracted to, but like what is the core of your behavior, because my expectation and relationships is that your character is bringing as much goodwill into our dynamic as mine is. Like I live my life in such a way that my hope and tention and desire is that I'm bringing good fortune, protect community, and care to my children and my grandchildren even when I'm not on the planet. And if you are in relationship with someone that has a strong level of integrity, you'll notice that that happens in your love relationship too, when you are given the benefit of the doubt by other people, or you're given goodwill or having good luck in other areas, because the person you're an intimate, deep connection and relationship with is magnetizing those experiences to themselves too. You know, integrity isn't just this code of conduct, it's also sometimes this antenna that goes out and brings so much into your life effortlessly integrity and relationships. Are you communicating with love, respect, compassion, honesty. A good question to ask yourself when you're in communication with another person in your own mind and heart, especially if it's a challenging one. What would unconditional love do? What would unconditional love say? What would someone in Mastery of Love do or say so? An example of integrity and relationships could be very clear and honest about who and what you are, your boundaries very early in a relationship, sticking to them most, especially when it's uncomfortable and when things get intense, and staying true to the agreements that you've made with your partner and yourself and really you know, those areas I think where those foundational beliefs, you know, especially in Christ's teaching, come forward, like do unto others is you'd have done unto you? The golden rule. You know, that is something we say it was such pleasantry, and very often it's been said in environments that maybe it wasn't. Also the behaviored in matter, but the fundamental core of that is integrity. Do unto others is you'd have them do unto you, especially and also when they're not behaving as good as you are, can you still keep that high level of personal behavior too? Sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no, that's life, but that is the goal. So that is integrity and relationships. So the three ways we've kind of looked at integrity today just to recap for us as you do some soul work around this and kind of deepen in the way that you want to carve this out for you and your life and your beliefs. Is where are you in your spiritual integrity? Where are you in your friendship integrity? And then where are you in your relationship integrity? Relationship integrity in terms of those intimate, romantic, true loving connections and the intimacy of those familial connections, the intimacy of parental connections with your parents or with your kids. How does your integrity operate in those containers? A few ways for you to kind of reflect on now, how integrity shows up. Integrity shows up in the small things. It's when you decide to make the right choice even when no one is watching. It's when you decide to make the right choice for yourself, right like, are you having integrity for you some of those deeper things? Are you staying in things too long and letting yourself delude yourself sometimes into thinking that it's righteous to do so or that it somehow equates goodness when it's self punishment and fear. You know, only we can decide what those things are for ourself, but bring it up for a review. It's when you show up to keep your word, when you honor your commitment, when you choose to act with honesty even when it's not convenient. And this is in every facet at work. Are you showing up at home? Are you showing up for yourself? Privately? Are you showing up? I think about integrity personally every day in my work and how I show up for my team, for myself and for those that God calls me to serve. It's about staying aligned. So a lot of my integrity for myself is really being who I say I am in my daily practice and the privacy of my own home and life, like meditating every day even when I'm having a really challenging day or I'm having an anxious day. It's doing the things that really support my body and the health and the vibrancy I want to have even when it's annoying, even when I don't want to. It's writing reminders everywhere in my house, so I will do these things that I know allow me to be the person that I say I am. It's about being aligned with my purpose, being transparent in all aspects of my life. So often, integrity isn't loud or flashy Integrity is truly subtle, it's quiet, and it's deeply lived experience. I'm going to say that one more time for everyone. Integrity is not loud or flashy. Integrity is subtle, it's dignified, it's quiet, and it's lived and embodied. We're a couple weeks away here in the US if you're listening in the States to what will be our twenty twenty four election, and so as you continue to reflect that inner work of integrity that you're doing, where it's showing up around you and the people that are in your life, do those soul work questions that are in that download Debbie Brown dot com at Deeply Well pod at Debbie Brown on Instagram. The election is a few weeks away. Integrity is going to play a crucial role in how leaders show up. We must demand require it, we must look at the historic proof of it. It's essential on how we show up as voters. Integrity in this aspect means staying informed, not just following the crowd or choosing based on convenience. And by not just following the crowd, it doesn't also mean just be a devil's advocate or just be a contrarian and do the opposite. It means sit in the tenets of everything that we're talking about. What does the position really require and what are people capable of doing? You know, and take this false ideal again. I'm going to say it again, it's not about who you can trust the most. We don't really know. We don't know these people. You don't know. There's a lot of people in your day to day life and in your families you can't and don't trust. Who can do the job, Who has the excellence, who has the historical evidence of doing the job, Who can be accountable, who can do it when they don't feel like doing it, Who can put the responsibility of what's at hand ahead of their own gain, need for pleasure, need for recognition. Who can do it with integrity and in a way that allows us to show up powerfully in the world, in true power, not performative power. It's really important to be thinking that way. With those principles in mind. We'll see integrity in how candidates honor their promises or they don't, and we'll see it in how we hold them accountable and how we engage with the political process ourselves. Democracy thrives on integrity it thrives on the inte of the people participating in it. So something to think about, as we kind of in this episode. Just yeah, continue to savor. Sink your teeth into this conversation. See how it's showing up for you uniquely and your beautifully divinely designed an aligned life, and let me know, let me know how it's feeling, how it's flowing. Share this episode with a friend and write someone else into this conversation. Journal journal, journal, Meditate, Meditate, Meditate, Take a deep breath with me here, beautiful. Next episode, we're going to dive into it even more deeply. And before we end this episode, I'm really excited to share that officially, our Deeply Well podcast merch is now available. Go to Debbie Brown dot com if you are listening to this episode on YouTube. If you're watching it, I have one of the shirts on now. I'm wearing the black kind of charcoal colored shirt that says healer on it and has a healing hand. It's my favorite one. I wear this shirt a lot, so you can see this right now in the video that is up on the website. We also have this one, and they're all kind of made to be oversized, So there's one that says surprise me God, which is one of my favorite sayings that came to me at a really pivotal point in my journey. We also have one that just reps the podcast entirely and lets people know how you feel you are deeply Well. We have another little crop top that's another healer shirt. So we have big oversized shirts and then oversized crop tops because this is just my jam. And then also a Deeply Well shirt this looks so good, oh y'all, And the one that I'm wearing. And then our hats. I love these colors. We got nice little green and a nice little terracotta color, and this is a healer hat well. So you can find all that on the website Debbie Brown dot com. I hope you love it. If you get it, hit me, tweet me, instagram me, TikTok me, you know all the social media things that we do at Debbie Brown. No mistay say the content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance, and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for any specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget, Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacquess Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.