Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now, release slowly again, deep in helle hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply, deeply well. I I am deeply well. I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care. I'm Debbie Brown. This is where we heal, this is where we become. Today we have oh my gosh, extra extra, extra extra special guest, huge fan. I actually was like vibing to the album the whole week getting ready. So we are going to dive into all the things extra special guest. Grammy Award winning singer, songwriter, activist, and acclaimed actress Andrew Day has been bearing her heart on the world stage four years. She was initially best known for her twenty sixteen Grammy nominated Rise Up, which amassed over one billion streams and an r IAA triple platinum certification, and she has performed alongside everyone from Stevie Wonder to the Obamas to Nick Jonas Alicia Keys. In twenty twenty one, her feature acting debut in the Lee Daniels directed biopic The United States Versus Billie Holiday, in which she starred as Holiday herself, earned a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture Drama and a nomination for Best Actress at the Oscars. She also won a Grammy Award for Best Soundtrack Visual Media and BET Award for Best Actress. Since the film, she hasn't slowed down, making appearances at the Golden Globes, The View, The Tonight Show, and The Daily Show, among others. What's more, Andra continues to support causes close to her heart and has worked with Give Directly, Public Counsel, and the Biden Harris Administration, to name a few. Her most recent studio album, Cassandra, is a soulful and timeless body of work that captures the artist essence and admitable vocals. Welcome to the show, thank.

Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now, release slowly again, deep in helle hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply, deeply well. I I am deeply well. I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care. I'm Debbie Brown. This is where we heal, this is where we become. Today we have oh my gosh, extra extra, extra extra special guest, huge fan. I actually was like vibing to the album the whole week getting ready. So we are going to dive into all the things extra special guest. Grammy Award winning singer, songwriter, activist, and acclaimed actress Andrew Day has been bearing her heart on the world stage four years. She was initially best known for her twenty sixteen Grammy nominated Rise Up, which amassed over one billion streams and an r IAA triple platinum certification, and she has performed alongside everyone from Stevie Wonder to the Obamas to Nick Jonas Alicia Keys. In twenty twenty one, her feature acting debut in the Lee Daniels directed biopic The United States Versus Billie Holiday, in which she starred as Holiday herself, earned a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture Drama and a nomination for Best Actress at the Oscars. She also won a Grammy Award for Best Soundtrack Visual Media and BET Award for Best Actress. Since the film, she hasn't slowed down, making appearances at the Golden Globes, The View, The Tonight Show, and The Daily Show, among others. What's more, Andra continues to support causes close to her heart and has worked with Give Directly, Public Counsel, and the Biden Harris Administration, to name a few. Her most recent studio album, Cassandra, is a soulful and timeless body of work that captures the artist essence and admitable vocals. Welcome to the show, thank.

You, Wow, look the whole time? Who wrote that bio? They may have that stuff up. No, it's actually really cool. Sometimes you hear it back and you're like, wow, it's pretty amazing.

You, Wow, look the whole time? Who wrote that bio? They may have that stuff up. No, it's actually really cool. Sometimes you hear it back and you're like, wow, it's pretty amazing.

It's pretty amazing. And I mean, like some of the things that stand out. I mean, God, okay, let me think, because I have so many ways that I want to wind through this conversation because I think the thing that becomes so apparent, especially when you hear that album, but definitely when you just hear the sound of your voice, the word is like depth.

It's pretty amazing. And I mean, like some of the things that stand out. I mean, God, okay, let me think, because I have so many ways that I want to wind through this conversation because I think the thing that becomes so apparent, especially when you hear that album, but definitely when you just hear the sound of your voice, the word is like depth.

Oh wow, thank you, Like depth, like immediate depth.

Oh wow, thank you, Like depth, like immediate depth.

And it's like even to see an experience of it's like your feature debut and you're Oscar nominated and you go for Globe winning like that is wow.

And it's like even to see an experience of it's like your feature debut and you're Oscar nominated and you go for Globe winning like that is wow.

Thank you, thank you so much. And Emmy Emmy, which you're not gonna lie to you. I did not know we had until what was it two years after what I was talking to somebody about it. I think it was like in an interview too that I can and saying you and you got you're close to any guys, Like no, I'm not. I was like, Brammy and a nomination. They're like, we have an Emmy too, and I was like no, They're like, yeah, you do. I was like what. I was like, this is a crazy way to discover that. So is a friends and family Emmy. I think for a show that we uh. I think it was the view was it the Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like, that's pretty cool. Yeah.

Thank you, thank you so much. And Emmy Emmy, which you're not gonna lie to you. I did not know we had until what was it two years after what I was talking to somebody about it. I think it was like in an interview too that I can and saying you and you got you're close to any guys, Like no, I'm not. I was like, Brammy and a nomination. They're like, we have an Emmy too, and I was like no, They're like, yeah, you do. I was like what. I was like, this is a crazy way to discover that. So is a friends and family Emmy. I think for a show that we uh. I think it was the view was it the Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like, that's pretty cool. Yeah.

Wow. So I have been enjoying your album, Cassandra just came out, so it's available, go get it, go get it, and I have really been sinking into it. And the thing that was like really powerful to me is I'm like, oh, this whole album is a spiritual journey and.

Wow. So I have been enjoying your album, Cassandra just came out, so it's available, go get it, go get it, and I have really been sinking into it. And the thing that was like really powerful to me is I'm like, oh, this whole album is a spiritual journey and.

Love, absolutely absolutely, of all different kinds God different love, divine love, godly love, love for myself, love with other people, and all the bumps and all the things along the way. It's one hundred percent that. Yes, I love that. That's what you picked up for me. Yeah, that makes me so happy.

Love, absolutely absolutely, of all different kinds God different love, divine love, godly love, love for myself, love with other people, and all the bumps and all the things along the way. It's one hundred percent that. Yes, I love that. That's what you picked up for me. Yeah, that makes me so happy.

Every every song and every like all the themes I was feeling from each song, I was like, oh wow, I'm being led and like being walked through this, you know, this kind of labyrinth of love and all the different all the different ways that you can experience it.

Every every song and every like all the themes I was feeling from each song, I was like, oh wow, I'm being led and like being walked through this, you know, this kind of labyrinth of love and all the different all the different ways that you can experience it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely, that's quite the undertaking as a singer, as a songwriter. How did love become the vision for this and especially in such like a multifaceted way.

Absolutely, that's quite the undertaking as a singer, as a songwriter. How did love become the vision for this and especially in such like a multifaceted way.

You know, it's so interesting, Like you said, it's it can be a challenge, it can be an undertaking, but I I think if you the truth of the matter is, I feel like life is actually that you know what I mean. So it's funny. I think that if you're present and you are open, you know what I mean, and you're willing to actually share those things. You know, there's something we talk about, like I'm a person of faith, and there's something we talk about which is like a testimony, which is just your life. It's your story. Like people always want to tell people what to do and all the things, but it's like it's actually your life that's probably the thing that's the most influential people. And so I think that, like, you know, if you're willing to share, because it's a really scary thing to do, I think to be vulnerable and to be open. But I think if you're willing to share, then life, you know, no matter what you do, whether it's music or any type of visual media or painting or movie telling or storytelling, you know, movies. I think if you're willing to be open and you're willing to be candid and share and show all of the good parts and the ugly parts, and you kind of end up just taking people on a jail. Like I feel like we're all on this really big love journey, you know what I'm saying, And that's for me. Starts with with God and you know, God's love for me, mind for God, and then my love for myself, you know, which has been the harder part of the journey, I think. And then my love for other people and there's for me. So it's it's interesting, it's I think the hard part about it isn't necessarily crafting it. I think it's being overcoming your fear to be vulnerable enough to actually talk about these things, you know, and then it kind of crafts itself a little bit.

You know, it's so interesting, Like you said, it's it can be a challenge, it can be an undertaking, but I I think if you the truth of the matter is, I feel like life is actually that you know what I mean. So it's funny. I think that if you're present and you are open, you know what I mean, and you're willing to actually share those things. You know, there's something we talk about, like I'm a person of faith, and there's something we talk about which is like a testimony, which is just your life. It's your story. Like people always want to tell people what to do and all the things, but it's like it's actually your life that's probably the thing that's the most influential people. And so I think that, like, you know, if you're willing to share, because it's a really scary thing to do, I think to be vulnerable and to be open. But I think if you're willing to share, then life, you know, no matter what you do, whether it's music or any type of visual media or painting or movie telling or storytelling, you know, movies. I think if you're willing to be open and you're willing to be candid and share and show all of the good parts and the ugly parts, and you kind of end up just taking people on a jail. Like I feel like we're all on this really big love journey, you know what I'm saying, And that's for me. Starts with with God and you know, God's love for me, mind for God, and then my love for myself, you know, which has been the harder part of the journey, I think. And then my love for other people and there's for me. So it's it's interesting, it's I think the hard part about it isn't necessarily crafting it. I think it's being overcoming your fear to be vulnerable enough to actually talk about these things, you know, and then it kind of crafts itself a little bit.

You know, and talk about it in the sense too of it being in service too, because I think there's a difference like when artists create with love as the inspiration, because you can be talking or creating with love from the.

You know, and talk about it in the sense too of it being in service too, because I think there's a difference like when artists create with love as the inspiration, because you can be talking or creating with love from the.

Wounded capacity, yeah, for sure.

Wounded capacity, yeah, for sure.

And then you can be creating about love from like the wisdom path, which is I'm on the other side of it, and so I understand the layers and I can share it.

And then you can be creating about love from like the wisdom path, which is I'm on the other side of it, and so I understand the layers and I can share it.

With you, yes, one hundred percent. And actually, and while I think both can be useful, you know what I'm saying. I think sometimes sometimes and someone's in the midst of something. You just need to hear someone in the midst of something. But I think the tool, when it's used as a tool, it is in service of right because even when you're in the midst of something, if you hear some music or a piece of something someone going through the same thing, it's still as helpful because it makes you go, I'm not the only one. And sometimes that's the little nugget that you need to be like, oh, there's a way, you know what I mean. This isn't this particular thing I'm dealing with, or this pain or heartbreak or whatever it is. It's not I'm not isolated here, you know what I mean. This is not unfamiliar. But to speak to what you were talking about, I think for me, it's interesting that you say that because I'm very much like that. And I was actually talking to another artist for and like not too long ago, and she's like that too, where we both were like, I can't really write or necessarily create when I'm in the midst of it, Like I have to just go through it, you know what I mean. It's so hard, and my hat's off to people who can do that, but I need I don't even necessarily need to be fully out of it. But I need to have gained some siety, right, I need to have gained some clarity. I need to when I can start to see, you know again, my relationship with God. When I can start to see myself and that person more clearly, that's when I can start to talk about it, you know what I'm saying, Like literally right on the heels of where I'm like, Oh, this is what this was for, you know what I mean, this relationship, it might not have lasted forever, but it was meant to teach me about boundaries, or it was meant to teach me about myself and how I move in relationships, or where I've been selfish or where I've been too lenient, you know what I mean. And so I am definitely that way. It is in service of like I have to reflect in order to actually speak about it and sing about it. And so I think for me it helps because you know then, like you said, you're speaking from a place of hopefully from a place of learn, you know, learney, and like revelation and understanding, you know what I mean.

With you, yes, one hundred percent. And actually, and while I think both can be useful, you know what I'm saying. I think sometimes sometimes and someone's in the midst of something. You just need to hear someone in the midst of something. But I think the tool, when it's used as a tool, it is in service of right because even when you're in the midst of something, if you hear some music or a piece of something someone going through the same thing, it's still as helpful because it makes you go, I'm not the only one. And sometimes that's the little nugget that you need to be like, oh, there's a way, you know what I mean. This isn't this particular thing I'm dealing with, or this pain or heartbreak or whatever it is. It's not I'm not isolated here, you know what I mean. This is not unfamiliar. But to speak to what you were talking about, I think for me, it's interesting that you say that because I'm very much like that. And I was actually talking to another artist for and like not too long ago, and she's like that too, where we both were like, I can't really write or necessarily create when I'm in the midst of it, Like I have to just go through it, you know what I mean. It's so hard, and my hat's off to people who can do that, but I need I don't even necessarily need to be fully out of it. But I need to have gained some siety, right, I need to have gained some clarity. I need to when I can start to see, you know again, my relationship with God. When I can start to see myself and that person more clearly, that's when I can start to talk about it, you know what I'm saying, Like literally right on the heels of where I'm like, Oh, this is what this was for, you know what I mean, this relationship, it might not have lasted forever, but it was meant to teach me about boundaries, or it was meant to teach me about myself and how I move in relationships, or where I've been selfish or where I've been too lenient, you know what I mean. And so I am definitely that way. It is in service of like I have to reflect in order to actually speak about it and sing about it. And so I think for me it helps because you know then, like you said, you're speaking from a place of hopefully from a place of learn, you know, learney, and like revelation and understanding, you know what I mean.

It's interesting because, like in meditation, the goal of where you're always trying to to What you're pursuing when you meditate is to come into the role of being the silent observer, the observer of self and everything around you. And like, that's what I hear and what you're saying in your process. It's like I've observed it. I have a grasp of it now, and so I'm speaking to love from less of this like personalized happening to me space and where I'm standing on the outside of me, and it's like, ah, this is what's going on. It's actually holistic, you know what I mean. So it's really yeah, and I think that that because there are many facets. You know, when people talk about love issues again, it can just be a person at verse relationship.

It's interesting because, like in meditation, the goal of where you're always trying to to What you're pursuing when you meditate is to come into the role of being the silent observer, the observer of self and everything around you. And like, that's what I hear and what you're saying in your process. It's like I've observed it. I have a grasp of it now, and so I'm speaking to love from less of this like personalized happening to me space and where I'm standing on the outside of me, and it's like, ah, this is what's going on. It's actually holistic, you know what I mean. So it's really yeah, and I think that that because there are many facets. You know, when people talk about love issues again, it can just be a person at verse relationship.

I'm like, oh, the array of love, right, you know what I mean, how multifaceted it is. I think can be missed if you're only talking about it, like you said, from the wounded in the midst of it perspective, you know, And a lot of the healing comes from not even the love of that relationship, but you know, the self love the God. I mean for sure you know.

I'm like, oh, the array of love, right, you know what I mean, how multifaceted it is. I think can be missed if you're only talking about it, like you said, from the wounded in the midst of it perspective, you know, And a lot of the healing comes from not even the love of that relationship, but you know, the self love the God. I mean for sure you know.

That from that standpoint too. I'm so curious because you know, I definitely feel and hear and see the deep connection to God, to source, to love itself. And I think it's really powerful to approach it in the way that you did. Like everyone, we look at love sometimes as this this thing, this outward experience, or we think that it's so compartmentalized, like it's like that's romantic love. But this is the love I have for my child, and this love I have for myself, and my love is love like love is love. It is prismatic, it is you know, all encompassing. But I'm so curious because it one of the things and I'm going to read this specifically. It's like this project examines every iteration of love, lost, gained, rekindled, interpersonal and with a higher power. Tell me about how you experience all of that. How did you approach kind of unpacking it and how do you feel it?

That from that standpoint too. I'm so curious because you know, I definitely feel and hear and see the deep connection to God, to source, to love itself. And I think it's really powerful to approach it in the way that you did. Like everyone, we look at love sometimes as this this thing, this outward experience, or we think that it's so compartmentalized, like it's like that's romantic love. But this is the love I have for my child, and this love I have for myself, and my love is love like love is love. It is prismatic, it is you know, all encompassing. But I'm so curious because it one of the things and I'm going to read this specifically. It's like this project examines every iteration of love, lost, gained, rekindled, interpersonal and with a higher power. Tell me about how you experience all of that. How did you approach kind of unpacking it and how do you feel it?

That's really good. Oh that's a good question. Ooh, that's good because it was gonna make me, you know, like, let me take a second think about this. Now, how do I experience that? Uh? It's interesting because I also think, okay, how do I experience it? Like you said, love is a lot of things, Love sometimes is simply as also growth as well too, you know what I mean. That Like, I think that's where but I think for me personally, so I'll just talk about for me, love definitely starts with my relationship with God. It starts with my my just experiencing love and actually receiving it, you know what I mean, which is in a way that's actually unconditional. You know what I mean. There's something that we hear all the time that says that God's love is unconditional. God's grace and mercy is are new daily, you know what I mean. They never run out you know, as people, of course, we run out with finite, you know what I mean. But I when I learned to accept it and receive, and that's when my self love comes in is also like accepting and receiving that, like this love and this well of love that you have is not.

That's really good. Oh that's a good question. Ooh, that's good because it was gonna make me, you know, like, let me take a second think about this. Now, how do I experience that? Uh? It's interesting because I also think, okay, how do I experience it? Like you said, love is a lot of things, Love sometimes is simply as also growth as well too, you know what I mean. That Like, I think that's where but I think for me personally, so I'll just talk about for me, love definitely starts with my relationship with God. It starts with my my just experiencing love and actually receiving it, you know what I mean, which is in a way that's actually unconditional. You know what I mean. There's something that we hear all the time that says that God's love is unconditional. God's grace and mercy is are new daily, you know what I mean. They never run out you know, as people, of course, we run out with finite, you know what I mean. But I when I learned to accept it and receive, and that's when my self love comes in is also like accepting and receiving that, like this love and this well of love that you have is not.

Going to reun dry.

Going to reun dry.

Because I struggle with that. I'm kind of like, yeah, but I messed up here and I did this, and so I do and I've my whole life, I've dealt with that, you know what I mean. And it's interesting because in this season, with this album, is the first time I'm being like, wow, I'm really loved. Like I'm loved, I'm intentional, I'm purposed, you know what I'm saying to be here, and so it really really starts there. And so I've made tons of mistakes in my life, you know, and I've gotten and I'm getting to a point of learning to like forgive myself and love myself because again, there is a constant love that I do have in my life. For me, everybody has different whatever their sources whatever. For me, that is God. And then from that place of learning to love myself, I'm like, oh, so now I can actually see how to love, you know what I'm saying like other people, and learn how to have grace and like Marcie and understanding and like to try not to deal with people from the seat of offense. Does that make sense? You know what I mean? It's hard, It's for sure hard. We're gonna do it, you know what I mean at times, But even in that, it's like I don't have to do it perfectly, like you know what I mean, try to that's my desire, That's what I want. But to understand, like, oh, now, in my life, I want to be a safe place for people, you know what I mean now in my life, like I want people to be able to be truthful and be comfortable and be vulnerable and all the things, because nobody is. I hate even when the term nobody's perfect because it's so far away from what weir you know what I mean, We're not, you know, Like, but it's like there's something. It teaches me how to love people and how to treat people and how to value them. If you don't value them, you can't really love them. But when, because of my relationship with God, when I see every person I walk into a room with like like, you know, all of us are made up of vibrations, right, I was talking about this the other day. Down to an atomic level, sub atomic level, we are actually made up of sound, which is crazy because for me, you hear like God spoke. Right. So then when I can walk into a room and I can look at everybody like while you're actually the vibrating voice of God, of love itself, the source of love. Like, then even if I'm mad at you, I still got to treat you with respect and treat you differently, you know what I mean, Like I have to walk with honor. So that relationship with love has really taught me how to love myself, which is still a process, and how to love you know, other people and not deal with them out of their issues are my issues, but like their inherent value, you.

Because I struggle with that. I'm kind of like, yeah, but I messed up here and I did this, and so I do and I've my whole life, I've dealt with that, you know what I mean. And it's interesting because in this season, with this album, is the first time I'm being like, wow, I'm really loved. Like I'm loved, I'm intentional, I'm purposed, you know what I'm saying to be here, and so it really really starts there. And so I've made tons of mistakes in my life, you know, and I've gotten and I'm getting to a point of learning to like forgive myself and love myself because again, there is a constant love that I do have in my life. For me, everybody has different whatever their sources whatever. For me, that is God. And then from that place of learning to love myself, I'm like, oh, so now I can actually see how to love, you know what I'm saying like other people, and learn how to have grace and like Marcie and understanding and like to try not to deal with people from the seat of offense. Does that make sense? You know what I mean? It's hard, It's for sure hard. We're gonna do it, you know what I mean at times, But even in that, it's like I don't have to do it perfectly, like you know what I mean, try to that's my desire, That's what I want. But to understand, like, oh, now, in my life, I want to be a safe place for people, you know what I mean now in my life, like I want people to be able to be truthful and be comfortable and be vulnerable and all the things, because nobody is. I hate even when the term nobody's perfect because it's so far away from what weir you know what I mean, We're not, you know, Like, but it's like there's something. It teaches me how to love people and how to treat people and how to value them. If you don't value them, you can't really love them. But when, because of my relationship with God, when I see every person I walk into a room with like like, you know, all of us are made up of vibrations, right, I was talking about this the other day. Down to an atomic level, sub atomic level, we are actually made up of sound, which is crazy because for me, you hear like God spoke. Right. So then when I can walk into a room and I can look at everybody like while you're actually the vibrating voice of God, of love itself, the source of love. Like, then even if I'm mad at you, I still got to treat you with respect and treat you differently, you know what I mean, Like I have to walk with honor. So that relationship with love has really taught me how to love myself, which is still a process, and how to love you know, other people and not deal with them out of their issues are my issues, but like their inherent value, you.

Know what I'm saying.

Know what I'm saying.

Yes, Yeah, so that's definitely a very interconnected.

Yes, Yeah, so that's definitely a very interconnected.

Thing for sure. Yes, And that is that's the Journey's that's the journey for sure.

Thing for sure. Yes, And that is that's the Journey's that's the journey for sure.

Yes, Yes, absolutely.

Yes, Yes, absolutely.

Especially like what I'm hearing and what you're saying, it's like, no matter what's happening, extending dignity to every being.

Especially like what I'm hearing and what you're saying, it's like, no matter what's happening, extending dignity to every being.

One hundred percent of you. Absolutely absolutely, And I think just it's just it's hard because life gets hard, you know what I'm saying, life, you're way heavily like. But I think when you can, like you said, see people's inherent value and understand that everybody is going through something, you know what I mean, then I think it Oddly enough, people look at it as like, oh, you're just letting people off the hook, and like it actually frees you right yourself, you know, so you kind of can walk around with a little bit even if you frustrate, you have a little bit more peace because it's like this isn't a foreign thing, like we're all kind of dealing with these things.

One hundred percent of you. Absolutely absolutely, And I think just it's just it's hard because life gets hard, you know what I'm saying, life, you're way heavily like. But I think when you can, like you said, see people's inherent value and understand that everybody is going through something, you know what I mean, then I think it Oddly enough, people look at it as like, oh, you're just letting people off the hook, and like it actually frees you right yourself, you know, so you kind of can walk around with a little bit even if you frustrate, you have a little bit more peace because it's like this isn't a foreign thing, like we're all kind of dealing with these things.

You know. Yeah, it's so powerful to say that because, as you said, life is challenging. Yeah, also by design. Yeah's exactly right. You've got to make it to heaven. Why are we in heaven now?

You know. Yeah, it's so powerful to say that because, as you said, life is challenging. Yeah, also by design. Yeah's exactly right. You've got to make it to heaven. Why are we in heaven now?

Yeah? And this idea is like I always have this the phrase. I always think about this phrase all the time. The gold is refined in fire, like it is purified and made beautiful and perfect, and this beautiful, amazing thing through fire, you know what I mean. So yeah, yeah, it's definitely hard, you know what I mean. So, like you said, having just patience and grace and understanding with people and look at them based on the value not their stuff, you know what I'm.

Yeah? And this idea is like I always have this the phrase. I always think about this phrase all the time. The gold is refined in fire, like it is purified and made beautiful and perfect, and this beautiful, amazing thing through fire, you know what I mean. So yeah, yeah, it's definitely hard, you know what I mean. So, like you said, having just patience and grace and understanding with people and look at them based on the value not their stuff, you know what I'm.

Saying, And like the bigger stories that are at play just about like our absolute activity and everything is refined in relationship.

Saying, And like the bigger stories that are at play just about like our absolute activity and everything is refined in relationship.

Yes, for sure, absolutely that is so. So you're great. This is a great way to come to work. I was like, why do I have the coded places? I love it here we're in the area. What's your favorite song on the album? Oh? Okay, so that changes all the time. It depends, Yeah, it depends on but I think one of my favorite songs on the album pretty consistently is nervous. It's a song called Nervous. Yeah, I really really love that song because I I initially wrote it for women, right, you know what I mean, Because there is this thing that happens when you're a woman, especially when you're standing in your power, you know what I mean, where it's like all of these weird narratives to well, women will take over women as also like they might, but who care? You know what I mean? Who cares? Like and they do, but who cares? And so it's this idea that it's like a woman standing in her power is really threatening, right, you know what I mean? And then as I was finishing the song, I'm realizing, I'm like, this applies to everyone. Everyone standing in their power can be feel threatening to someone or feel you know. But there's it's like this idea that it's like the colonization mentality, right, you know, you have something that's so powerful and it's influential, and instead of me receiving it, you know, and being blessed by it the way I was intended to, now I need to sort of colonize it, control it and suppress it and all the things. Whereas like and why because of fear because it makes us uncomfortable. You as a woman standing in your power, as a person of color, standing as a queer person standing in your power makes people uncomfortable. But the truth is we're not meant to be comfortable, you know what I mean. So it's like there's this idea that like we might be, but likes people say, blocking our a blessing is trying to suppress someone else's whatever that thing is, whatever that power is, as opposed to being like it's supposed to make you uncomfortable because it's designed to grow you, you know what I mean. So it's like it's like a system, like you said at play, that we miss because we're too busy trying to get comfortable, and that's not how we're designed to be. I don't think you know what I mean. So yeah, that's why that's so good.

Yes, for sure, absolutely that is so. So you're great. This is a great way to come to work. I was like, why do I have the coded places? I love it here we're in the area. What's your favorite song on the album? Oh? Okay, so that changes all the time. It depends, Yeah, it depends on but I think one of my favorite songs on the album pretty consistently is nervous. It's a song called Nervous. Yeah, I really really love that song because I I initially wrote it for women, right, you know what I mean, Because there is this thing that happens when you're a woman, especially when you're standing in your power, you know what I mean, where it's like all of these weird narratives to well, women will take over women as also like they might, but who care? You know what I mean? Who cares? Like and they do, but who cares? And so it's this idea that it's like a woman standing in her power is really threatening, right, you know what I mean? And then as I was finishing the song, I'm realizing, I'm like, this applies to everyone. Everyone standing in their power can be feel threatening to someone or feel you know. But there's it's like this idea that it's like the colonization mentality, right, you know, you have something that's so powerful and it's influential, and instead of me receiving it, you know, and being blessed by it the way I was intended to, now I need to sort of colonize it, control it and suppress it and all the things. Whereas like and why because of fear because it makes us uncomfortable. You as a woman standing in your power, as a person of color, standing as a queer person standing in your power makes people uncomfortable. But the truth is we're not meant to be comfortable, you know what I mean. So it's like there's this idea that like we might be, but likes people say, blocking our a blessing is trying to suppress someone else's whatever that thing is, whatever that power is, as opposed to being like it's supposed to make you uncomfortable because it's designed to grow you, you know what I mean. So it's like it's like a system, like you said at play, that we miss because we're too busy trying to get comfortable, and that's not how we're designed to be. I don't think you know what I mean. So yeah, that's why that's so good.

Yeah, that's so good, especially in this day and age. Like it's so deep because in this day and age, especially as we're being like equipped with different like language and understandings, right, Like, people are very hyper aware of.

Yeah, that's so good, especially in this day and age. Like it's so deep because in this day and age, especially as we're being like equipped with different like language and understandings, right, Like, people are very hyper aware of.

Their triggers, right right, Yes.

Their triggers, right right, Yes.

And you know there is this kind of thing happening where it's it's about having boundaries and not getting triggered. And it's like, no, no, you're supposed to get triggered. Yeah, some things are supposed to trigger you. Yeah, it's not about like insulating yourself and staying away from all the trigger because like, yes, exactly, Oh you're triggered investigated.

And you know there is this kind of thing happening where it's it's about having boundaries and not getting triggered. And it's like, no, no, you're supposed to get triggered. Yeah, some things are supposed to trigger you. Yeah, it's not about like insulating yourself and staying away from all the trigger because like, yes, exactly, Oh you're triggered investigated.

Yeah, that'd be with it. Yeah, that's the interesting thing. And I'm like, even in this discovery of like boundaries and now and how they can be good, but it's also a part of that discovery is that like, yeah, the boundaries I'm discovering that are good, aren't boundaries meant to keep me safe and protected and locked in this da da da. There are certain boundaries that go, hey, some things are are antithetical to my growth into my path and to my purpose, or they're just simply not for me, you know what I mean. So the boundaries are more about creating a lane rather where you're growing and as opposed to creating a box, you know what I mean. So it's like I agree with you, You're right, there's this very like it seems like self care has become like just be calm all the time, you know what I mean, or just just you know, be comfortable. Like you said, have all these boundaries be locked in, be safe? Da da da. But you're right, like agreed, we're not supposed to be growth it becomes is an uncomfortable thing, you know what I mean. It's not comfortable for our baby's bones to be stretching and growing it, you know what I mean. Like, so it's kind of like that idea that like, yeah, self care isn't just and also safety is I'm one of those people that believes like the idea that like, Okay, I found the box where I'm safe and all the stuff. It's a little bit of a facadey, you know what I'm saying, like like.

Yeah, that'd be with it. Yeah, that's the interesting thing. And I'm like, even in this discovery of like boundaries and now and how they can be good, but it's also a part of that discovery is that like, yeah, the boundaries I'm discovering that are good, aren't boundaries meant to keep me safe and protected and locked in this da da da. There are certain boundaries that go, hey, some things are are antithetical to my growth into my path and to my purpose, or they're just simply not for me, you know what I mean. So the boundaries are more about creating a lane rather where you're growing and as opposed to creating a box, you know what I mean. So it's like I agree with you, You're right, there's this very like it seems like self care has become like just be calm all the time, you know what I mean, or just just you know, be comfortable. Like you said, have all these boundaries be locked in, be safe? Da da da. But you're right, like agreed, we're not supposed to be growth it becomes is an uncomfortable thing, you know what I mean. It's not comfortable for our baby's bones to be stretching and growing it, you know what I mean. Like, so it's kind of like that idea that like, yeah, self care isn't just and also safety is I'm one of those people that believes like the idea that like, Okay, I found the box where I'm safe and all the stuff. It's a little bit of a facadey, you know what I'm saying, like like.

So, yeah, I agree, what's performance? What's hyper vigilance? And what is like exactly, God, that is so so, so so good, And it's just you know what you're speaking to. It's like that multifaceted feeling approach. It isn't meant to be peace. I tell people all the time, I go to.

So, yeah, I agree, what's performance? What's hyper vigilance? And what is like exactly, God, that is so so, so so good, And it's just you know what you're speaking to. It's like that multifaceted feeling approach. It isn't meant to be peace. I tell people all the time, I go to.

Rage rooms like right, spend money to break stuff? Right, Yeah exactly. I haven't gone yet. I actually really want to try that. Who where we just I think I was just talking about it with some star Thos people on that couch. So that's why we have a girl studio today. We're a bunch of beautiful, wonderful women. Also, no, I haven't tried one of those yet. You've been to one? Oh my god, I want to try it. I really want to go.

Rage rooms like right, spend money to break stuff? Right, Yeah exactly. I haven't gone yet. I actually really want to try that. Who where we just I think I was just talking about it with some star Thos people on that couch. So that's why we have a girl studio today. We're a bunch of beautiful, wonderful women. Also, no, I haven't tried one of those yet. You've been to one? Oh my god, I want to try it. I really want to go.

Yeah, I've been sacred rage. Yes, we have to let ourselves be everything. And it's like that this idea of bypassing and just coming to peace. I'm not going to recommend. I don't know what you've been through. You might need to release a lot of stuff. Absolutely, I agree, but yeah, I'll give you the details.

Yeah, I've been sacred rage. Yes, we have to let ourselves be everything. And it's like that this idea of bypassing and just coming to peace. I'm not going to recommend. I don't know what you've been through. You might need to release a lot of stuff. Absolutely, I agree, but yeah, I'll give you the details.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna check it out.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna check it out.

A really cool experience. Like you go into this room. You have like a mask and all this stuff, and then you can put on your own music, and you have a clock for however much time, and they bring you this box full of all this breakable stuff.

A really cool experience. Like you go into this room. You have like a mask and all this stuff, and then you can put on your own music, and you have a clock for however much time, and they bring you this box full of all this breakable stuff.

I love it, old electronics.

I love it, old electronics.

Dishes, porcelain, and they give you a bat and they give you a crowbar. I'm going in like the first time you do it. The first time I threw it, I was like, oh my gosh, ah, like you know, and you're like, you know, it's kind of broken. You're like okay, and the next thing, it's like I'm throwing stuff in there, crowbar like a bat, like just going love that.

Dishes, porcelain, and they give you a bat and they give you a crowbar. I'm going in like the first time you do it. The first time I threw it, I was like, oh my gosh, ah, like you know, and you're like, you know, it's kind of broken. You're like okay, and the next thing, it's like I'm throwing stuff in there, crowbar like a bat, like just going love that.

I agree, we do have to get it out, you know me absolutely.

I agree, we do have to get it out, you know me absolutely.

Deeply well, and your huge starring debut as one of jess the most iconic figures in history and musical history and civil rights history. Yes, Billie Holiday, this movie was so heavy. It was incredible. You were phenomenal, you fanomal But the layers of it, right, Like, it's like one obviously the layers of racism, but then the layers of pain, black pain, black woman pain, how we pacify ourselves, and then also like mistreatment and manipulation and love like that was so striking to me, how every man she fell in love with was incredibly unsafe for her.

Deeply well, and your huge starring debut as one of jess the most iconic figures in history and musical history and civil rights history. Yes, Billie Holiday, this movie was so heavy. It was incredible. You were phenomenal, you fanomal But the layers of it, right, Like, it's like one obviously the layers of racism, but then the layers of pain, black pain, black woman pain, how we pacify ourselves, and then also like mistreatment and manipulation and love like that was so striking to me, how every man she fell in love with was incredibly unsafe for her.

One hundred percent.

One hundred percent.

Yeah, what kind of toll did this role take on your spirit?

Yeah, what kind of toll did this role take on your spirit?

It's so a I'm so glad you were able to kind of see all of that, you know, because that is that's a conversation and it's a really hard conversation for black women and for women of color to have, right you know what I mean, It's because it's sort of like this idea that like don't talk about your pain or your experiences. Like within the community, it's almost like we have to be a monolith in order to get over this hill in order. But I think that healing is from the inside out, you know what I mean, And we need to be able to everybody needs to have their space to express, you know, because that was a huge thing that was I think one of the things that probably stuck with me the most about her person and playing her was the relationships. It absolutely affected my real life relationships really and I definitely I was in one for four years that I lost, you know when I when I came out because I was it was just this need to be loved and validated. It was so deep. But you can imagine being a black woman in the thirties and the forties is just like no one loves you, right, you know what I mean. And then what you were forced to accept like Billy did as love is truly abuse, abuse in its most pure form, you know. And that's the thing the only use your clips one hundred percent, like mental, the emotional, the fabsolutely ravages before even any of the physical. All of that that robbing you of your piece, you know what I mean. But as a black woman, during that time, It's like, well, I'd rather take this little nugget of nothing, that's a teeny bit of affection wrapped in a whole bunch of abuse, because where else am I going to get it from, you know what I mean. So that need and that instant gratification taking whatever, for sure permeated my life, you know what I mean. That definitely became a part of kind of how I was moving, you know what I mean. I don't think I really realized it as much until later, you know, because I was still in it, and you know, there's a lot of things. I mean, playing Billy first of all, I want to say that, like working with Lee and working with Tasha and that cast was just one of the greatest experiences in my life. But being her was really one of the greatest experiences in my life. I really loved loved being her. You know. There was just such an unhinged kind of bravery and fear, and everything felt heightened, Everything felt so much more urgent everything. You know that by the time I flew back and landed in LA it was just like being at an airport was the was like worst viewing because I was just like, what is the point this is so, like, you know what I mean, was the point of all this? What is important about this? What are we? So I will say that, you know. And then so there were really great ways that she impacted me, and then there were ways that were harder, Like I said, in love and in relationships, it's hard to find like my grounding, you know, kind of my delibrium again, but I will say that, like, I think what helped me a my relationship with God is what helped me right, relationship with the Lord and I. One of the things was realizing that like instead of trying to figure out, Okay, wow, I just went through this insane thing for years and now I got to get back to who I was and function exactly how it was. It was impossible, you know what I mean. So I spent two years trying to figure out that that's actually not what I'm supposed to do. And God really like got to hold me and was like, hey, you were supposed to be grown by this, you were supposed to be changed by this experience.

It's so a I'm so glad you were able to kind of see all of that, you know, because that is that's a conversation and it's a really hard conversation for black women and for women of color to have, right you know what I mean, It's because it's sort of like this idea that like don't talk about your pain or your experiences. Like within the community, it's almost like we have to be a monolith in order to get over this hill in order. But I think that healing is from the inside out, you know what I mean, And we need to be able to everybody needs to have their space to express, you know, because that was a huge thing that was I think one of the things that probably stuck with me the most about her person and playing her was the relationships. It absolutely affected my real life relationships really and I definitely I was in one for four years that I lost, you know when I when I came out because I was it was just this need to be loved and validated. It was so deep. But you can imagine being a black woman in the thirties and the forties is just like no one loves you, right, you know what I mean. And then what you were forced to accept like Billy did as love is truly abuse, abuse in its most pure form, you know. And that's the thing the only use your clips one hundred percent, like mental, the emotional, the fabsolutely ravages before even any of the physical. All of that that robbing you of your piece, you know what I mean. But as a black woman, during that time, It's like, well, I'd rather take this little nugget of nothing, that's a teeny bit of affection wrapped in a whole bunch of abuse, because where else am I going to get it from, you know what I mean. So that need and that instant gratification taking whatever, for sure permeated my life, you know what I mean. That definitely became a part of kind of how I was moving, you know what I mean. I don't think I really realized it as much until later, you know, because I was still in it, and you know, there's a lot of things. I mean, playing Billy first of all, I want to say that, like working with Lee and working with Tasha and that cast was just one of the greatest experiences in my life. But being her was really one of the greatest experiences in my life. I really loved loved being her. You know. There was just such an unhinged kind of bravery and fear, and everything felt heightened, Everything felt so much more urgent everything. You know that by the time I flew back and landed in LA it was just like being at an airport was the was like worst viewing because I was just like, what is the point this is so, like, you know what I mean, was the point of all this? What is important about this? What are we? So I will say that, you know. And then so there were really great ways that she impacted me, and then there were ways that were harder, Like I said, in love and in relationships, it's hard to find like my grounding, you know, kind of my delibrium again, but I will say that, like, I think what helped me a my relationship with God is what helped me right, relationship with the Lord and I. One of the things was realizing that like instead of trying to figure out, Okay, wow, I just went through this insane thing for years and now I got to get back to who I was and function exactly how it was. It was impossible, you know what I mean. So I spent two years trying to figure out that that's actually not what I'm supposed to do. And God really like got to hold me and was like, hey, you were supposed to be grown by this, you were supposed to be changed by this experience.

You know what I'm saying.

You know what I'm saying.

Let's get rid of some of the bad stuff and some of the negative stuff, some of the talks of things and let's but keep the things that are supposed to make you who you are for this season. Had you not done this movie, well, how had you not played her and connected with her so deep, I would not be prepared for whatever it is that's laid out for me in this season. So wow, that really helped. It definitely changed me some ways good, some ways really really rough because I felt all of her anxiety and her pain and her fight. But then I realized, oh, I needed to feel that so that I could be prepared for everything that's coming up. So in a lot of good ways too, you know.

Let's get rid of some of the bad stuff and some of the negative stuff, some of the talks of things and let's but keep the things that are supposed to make you who you are for this season. Had you not done this movie, well, how had you not played her and connected with her so deep, I would not be prepared for whatever it is that's laid out for me in this season. So wow, that really helped. It definitely changed me some ways good, some ways really really rough because I felt all of her anxiety and her pain and her fight. But then I realized, oh, I needed to feel that so that I could be prepared for everything that's coming up. So in a lot of good ways too, you know.

My goodness, I can really imagine, Yeah, I can really imagine.

My goodness, I can really imagine, Yeah, I can really imagine.

It feels like her life does not feel like I was saying this earlier. I was like, doesn't feel like I was, doesn't feel like memories of a movie set. Right when I leave here, I'll remember when we were on set and the lights and the moment that we had and the genuineness of our But I will remember all of the you know, hey, great, this was a great interview, with great conversation to great and with playing her for such a long time, it's like sometimes I was getting mixed up the memories of my life and hers because it just kind of felt like life memories, you know what I mean. So it was she has that much weight to her, Like she really has that much weight to her. It's crazy.

It feels like her life does not feel like I was saying this earlier. I was like, doesn't feel like I was, doesn't feel like memories of a movie set. Right when I leave here, I'll remember when we were on set and the lights and the moment that we had and the genuineness of our But I will remember all of the you know, hey, great, this was a great interview, with great conversation to great and with playing her for such a long time, it's like sometimes I was getting mixed up the memories of my life and hers because it just kind of felt like life memories, you know what I mean. So it was she has that much weight to her, Like she really has that much weight to her. It's crazy.

There are so many places I want to take this kud I love it.

There are so many places I want to take this kud I love it.

I love it. I love it. You're so great.

I love it. I love it. You're so great.

I'm like, oh my god, because I jet Oh god, I can just imagine like the kind of existential crisis that that can really submerge you in, and you even saying, you know, being in that experience of and then you exit this portal, this different reality that you're existing in and you're at the airport. Wa shodnt.

I'm like, oh my god, because I jet Oh god, I can just imagine like the kind of existential crisis that that can really submerge you in, and you even saying, you know, being in that experience of and then you exit this portal, this different reality that you're existing in and you're at the airport. Wa shodnt.

People do human things and it's very normal and there's nothing wrong with what they're living their life, you know what I mean. But you're almost I'm not gonna lie. I think when I landed, I was as I was flying over into the city, I didn't like it and like the way it was looking, you know, I was flying back to LA I got to the airport and I was kind of angry at people, you know what I mean, Like, but I didn't realize how much of that was sort of a chip on my shoulder from living because here's the thing. We filmed the movie for September to December. We were there for four months, right, which four months doesn't seem like a long time, except that I had been preparing for since the end of twenty seventeen. So it was like the last part of latter part of twenty seventeen, all of twenty eighteen, all of twenty nineteen, all of twenty twenty because we had to do pickup shoots and all that stuff too, and then we started the pressing promo one in twenty twenty one. So it's like, that's four years of like and in the pandemic, and the pandemic hits, and so it's like, now you're locked inside and you're which I can't I still can't tell if that was the isolation of it was better or worse, because I don't know that I would have been ready to be very submerged in just the hustle and mustle of people and daily life. So I don't know, but it was. But it was four years of being another person, you know what I mean. So I think that's when everything starts to come to you're like, oh, you know. There was such an urgency to her life every day that felt like I was really lacking when I got to mine, you know what I mean.

People do human things and it's very normal and there's nothing wrong with what they're living their life, you know what I mean. But you're almost I'm not gonna lie. I think when I landed, I was as I was flying over into the city, I didn't like it and like the way it was looking, you know, I was flying back to LA I got to the airport and I was kind of angry at people, you know what I mean, Like, but I didn't realize how much of that was sort of a chip on my shoulder from living because here's the thing. We filmed the movie for September to December. We were there for four months, right, which four months doesn't seem like a long time, except that I had been preparing for since the end of twenty seventeen. So it was like the last part of latter part of twenty seventeen, all of twenty eighteen, all of twenty nineteen, all of twenty twenty because we had to do pickup shoots and all that stuff too, and then we started the pressing promo one in twenty twenty one. So it's like, that's four years of like and in the pandemic, and the pandemic hits, and so it's like, now you're locked inside and you're which I can't I still can't tell if that was the isolation of it was better or worse, because I don't know that I would have been ready to be very submerged in just the hustle and mustle of people and daily life. So I don't know, but it was. But it was four years of being another person, you know what I mean. So I think that's when everything starts to come to you're like, oh, you know. There was such an urgency to her life every day that felt like I was really lacking when I got to mine, you know what I mean.

Wow, Wow, it's just so deep, it's so heavy, it's so much.

Wow, Wow, it's just so deep, it's so heavy, it's so much.

You feel her for sure, Yeah, do.

You feel her for sure, Yeah, do.

You feel like spiritually did you feel like her presence with Oh?

You feel like spiritually did you feel like her presence with Oh?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's funny. We actually had a dream, he had a dream about her the last few days of filming, you know what I mean, And she was getting into a cab. She cussed in him about something and then she was but she was happy with what we were doing, you know what I mean. But that was one of the things we used to say. We were sort of like, if Billy's happy is she's not like, oh, you did great and good for you guys. She's probably cussing you out, you know what I'm saying, and like whatever. But I absolutely felt her presence. And it's funny because my acting coach would say something, she knows that I was a believer, and so she would pray for me and pray over me, and then we would talk about checking into the Billy dream, right, you know what I mean, the life. And it's funny because I was like, and it wasn't until this movie that I was like, you know as a like there's like there's different things that you think, you know what I mean about different things, Okay. And it wasn't until this movie that I discovered this scripture that was like talking about how we that we do tap in with what's called like the cloud of witnesses, like people, our ancestors, people who came before us that have passed on and we're allowed to tap and they're allowed to tap us and all that stuff. I was like, wow, that must be what that is and was because it was very like it's weird again. Like I said, it's not necessarily like feeling her. It was just being her, if that makes sense, you know what I mean. She stepped in. Yeah, So it didn't feel like it was like, oh my gosh, I feel her super perwered. It was just kind of like whoever I was, I felt like that's who to me, felt like that's who's that was her, you know what I mean? That was the person in the vessel and the presence, And I loved it. It was a ride. It was a ride because she's actually hell of fun, you know what I mean, Like she's really fun. She's definitely crazy, but like she's for sure shot out. You know, I always think about this, like I think that our mentality of people right on this side of the generation we go right, we have our pillars are Maya Angelous, who just like you know, have elevated you know, almost a sainthood, and like you know, but then I think about people in Billy's time when I read her, you know, bio and I just spent time as her. And then I read about someone like Maya Angelo writing about Billy Oliday. And there's a story Maya tells her son very fondly all the time, and she told her son how she was performing at a club one time and she was singing it. Billy was in the club with glasses on, and this is her health had very seriously deteriorated by this point time. But nobody cusses out may Angelou because who does that, right, you know what I'm saying, But like if you came from a different era, in a different time. She tells the story about how she was in a club singing and she got sunglasses on. She has a moved, She's chainsmoking the entire time, and then all of a sudden, Maya's singing and did all stuff and Billy jumps up and she's just like, shut that bitch up. I was like, oh my god, there's just certain things you read were and then when you're connected to her, right, I was like Bally, not by her, but to her at the time, it was just like she was the biggest and she had all of this other stuff going on in her face. But may when she explained the stories she said, Billy went off and she said, shut that bitchup. She sounds like my mother, and everybody's like, what is happening right now? And then all of a sudden, she gets really insecure because everyone's looking out, so she runs into the bathroom. Maya runs in after her. She was like, you know, and she said she saw somebody who was really hurt and broken, and she kind of took her glasses off and she looked at her and then she said, you see all those people out there clapping when you said my name, and make says yeah, you know what I mean. Basically, they're just she's like says something along the lines, and they're just excited to see a train wreck like a junkie. You know what I'm saying. It's really interesting, Like she she has such this crazy spirit you know what I mean, definitely experienced it and felt it, and I very very much love this woman like she my can and myself and my you know what I mean. So yeah, wow for sure. But it's like who cusses on my stock? You know what I mean? Like, I'm from a whole different side of this era, you know, National Treasure, treasure, that's just like but you hear those stories and you go, wow, this was a different thing we were talking about and dealing with at the time, you know what I mean. Oh, God, bless her, God bless her absolutely, God bless her soul for sure.

It's funny. We actually had a dream, he had a dream about her the last few days of filming, you know what I mean, And she was getting into a cab. She cussed in him about something and then she was but she was happy with what we were doing, you know what I mean. But that was one of the things we used to say. We were sort of like, if Billy's happy is she's not like, oh, you did great and good for you guys. She's probably cussing you out, you know what I'm saying, and like whatever. But I absolutely felt her presence. And it's funny because my acting coach would say something, she knows that I was a believer, and so she would pray for me and pray over me, and then we would talk about checking into the Billy dream, right, you know what I mean, the life. And it's funny because I was like, and it wasn't until this movie that I was like, you know as a like there's like there's different things that you think, you know what I mean about different things, Okay. And it wasn't until this movie that I discovered this scripture that was like talking about how we that we do tap in with what's called like the cloud of witnesses, like people, our ancestors, people who came before us that have passed on and we're allowed to tap and they're allowed to tap us and all that stuff. I was like, wow, that must be what that is and was because it was very like it's weird again. Like I said, it's not necessarily like feeling her. It was just being her, if that makes sense, you know what I mean. She stepped in. Yeah, So it didn't feel like it was like, oh my gosh, I feel her super perwered. It was just kind of like whoever I was, I felt like that's who to me, felt like that's who's that was her, you know what I mean? That was the person in the vessel and the presence, And I loved it. It was a ride. It was a ride because she's actually hell of fun, you know what I mean, Like she's really fun. She's definitely crazy, but like she's for sure shot out. You know, I always think about this, like I think that our mentality of people right on this side of the generation we go right, we have our pillars are Maya Angelous, who just like you know, have elevated you know, almost a sainthood, and like you know, but then I think about people in Billy's time when I read her, you know, bio and I just spent time as her. And then I read about someone like Maya Angelo writing about Billy Oliday. And there's a story Maya tells her son very fondly all the time, and she told her son how she was performing at a club one time and she was singing it. Billy was in the club with glasses on, and this is her health had very seriously deteriorated by this point time. But nobody cusses out may Angelou because who does that, right, you know what I'm saying, But like if you came from a different era, in a different time. She tells the story about how she was in a club singing and she got sunglasses on. She has a moved, She's chainsmoking the entire time, and then all of a sudden, Maya's singing and did all stuff and Billy jumps up and she's just like, shut that bitch up. I was like, oh my god, there's just certain things you read were and then when you're connected to her, right, I was like Bally, not by her, but to her at the time, it was just like she was the biggest and she had all of this other stuff going on in her face. But may when she explained the stories she said, Billy went off and she said, shut that bitchup. She sounds like my mother, and everybody's like, what is happening right now? And then all of a sudden, she gets really insecure because everyone's looking out, so she runs into the bathroom. Maya runs in after her. She was like, you know, and she said she saw somebody who was really hurt and broken, and she kind of took her glasses off and she looked at her and then she said, you see all those people out there clapping when you said my name, and make says yeah, you know what I mean. Basically, they're just she's like says something along the lines, and they're just excited to see a train wreck like a junkie. You know what I'm saying. It's really interesting, Like she she has such this crazy spirit you know what I mean, definitely experienced it and felt it, and I very very much love this woman like she my can and myself and my you know what I mean. So yeah, wow for sure. But it's like who cusses on my stock? You know what I mean? Like, I'm from a whole different side of this era, you know, National Treasure, treasure, that's just like but you hear those stories and you go, wow, this was a different thing we were talking about and dealing with at the time, you know what I mean. Oh, God, bless her, God bless her absolutely, God bless her soul for sure.

Last question, when I hear a voice like yours, especially like especially on Rise Up, I don't even know how this question needs to come out. I guess I'm just curious about your response.

Last question, when I hear a voice like yours, especially like especially on Rise Up, I don't even know how this question needs to come out. I guess I'm just curious about your response.

But now I'm very very clo.

But now I'm very very clo.

You're one. I mean, you just have an exquisite voice.

You're one. I mean, you just have an exquisite voice.

It's so thank you, thank you, so beautiful, but it's.

It's so thank you, thank you, so beautiful, but it's.

So invocative and like your voice, the healing I hear in your voice is the fact that like you can hear emotion process through it as you sing to something, which includes like hearing sometimes the ache, right hearing the pain, hearing the pull like I feel like I hear the stretching of growth in your voice, and I'm just so curious, like how it's always been your voice? Yeah, so how does that interplay with your artistry? Like did you always know you were kind of designed to sing deeper songs? Because this isn't a voice for silly songs, right, Like, this isn't.

So invocative and like your voice, the healing I hear in your voice is the fact that like you can hear emotion process through it as you sing to something, which includes like hearing sometimes the ache, right hearing the pain, hearing the pull like I feel like I hear the stretching of growth in your voice, and I'm just so curious, like how it's always been your voice? Yeah, so how does that interplay with your artistry? Like did you always know you were kind of designed to sing deeper songs? Because this isn't a voice for silly songs, right, Like, this isn't.

A voice I love for like not right not in my head. They're so funny. My team is so funny and truly crazy, a petty out and hot talking about here.

A voice I love for like not right not in my head. They're so funny. My team is so funny and truly crazy, a petty out and hot talking about here.

This isn't a voice for j just like singing simple silly things like this is a voice to make people feel And I'm just curious how you experience that or how you how that influenced you, especially as you were growing up, coming into the voice, coming into the songwriting.

This isn't a voice for j just like singing simple silly things like this is a voice to make people feel And I'm just curious how you experience that or how you how that influenced you, especially as you were growing up, coming into the voice, coming into the songwriting.

Yeah, that's a really good question. Wow, And thank you for saying that so much. Thank you, thank you. You know, I will say I think that the process, it was a process, right, you know, Like, and to be honest with you, that's most of the time I'm saying silly, stupid stuff most like, I get it all out. I feel like in life when I'm talking with like friends and family, and joking with them. It's always dumb stuff. Like I did an interview. Have you heard of the scene? You know Judith Hill by the way, you should definitely, oh God, would you would absolutely love her? She is you would love her? Okay, well, she's one of my closest friends ever. But we crack up laughing because people always ask us. I think they think that our conversations are always very, very deep, and they are. They are in the sense that, like, she's also a believer too, so like we literally spend time in fellowship and like praying and worshiping and in the Word and studying and edifying. We do do that. But when it comes to music and all, it's like her and I literally talk about dumb things all the time. It's like you need the to be able to turn your brain off sometimes and other people. So anyway, I was saying that to say that I spent a lot of time doing dumb things, but I need an outlet, you know what I mean. But I think even musically, you know, it's interesting because it was a journey. It was a journey to accepting my voice. First of all, I didn't like it because I didn't like the tone it's super brassy, and I'm just like ew Like sometimes I'm like, who's gonna like like this? Like this right? You know what I mean? That's what it sounds like to me sometimes. But I will say part of the reason I love Billy is because it is her artistry that helped me accept my voice. Like I was introduced to her at the age eleven, and it was her artistry and her voice that helped me accept my own. Because there's a clip of her speaking about her own singing voice and she says, you know, because people alway say, well, she didn't have much of a ray, and she didn't have she wasn't unaware of these things. Like she was just like, yeah, it doesn't do too much. My voice goes up a little bit, comes down a little bit, but it's my voice. You really like it or you don't, you know what I mean. And so her stand and that was one of the most influential things I'd ever heard or you know, because I was like, wow, okay, you know, instead of trying to before it was like these singers who I wanted to sound like and sing like and all these things. Then with her, it was like, oh, I want to do my thing, you know what I mean, the way she did her things. So she really helped to empower me in that way, right, And so it was a process of accepting my voice. And it's really interesting. I don't think it was ever a moment that I was like, hey, my voice is meant to do powerful things and to be powerful and all. I think it just I mean, I'm just a prayerful person, you know what I'm saying. And I think when I really like well as what I say was like probably in like later twenties, when I kind of like gave my life back to Christ, gave my life to that, then that prayer and how I impact people became intentional, you know what I'm saying. And so it was almost it's sort of inadver certainly happened that it happened to be on serious things and happened to be kind of a place of testimony, a place of reflection because I just singing from a real place of like pain or like desire or growth or you know. So honestly, I can't even say that I crafted it and was like, oh, yes, I want to do just serious things happened to grab my attention, like you know, even when things comes to ability, like hearing strange fruit and knowing what she sacrificed for that, Like that mattered to me, you know what I mean, hearing the weight of like people my mother's own. When I think of my mom and her own story of survival, I'm like, WHOA. Like it changed the way I looked at her, the way all the stuff that used to annoying me became things that I was like, Wow, I really admire you, Like that's not you just getting by this youth thriving. Like So, I don't know, those things just mattered to me, And so I think what happened is that inadvertently that made its way into the music, you know what I mean. Yeah, So I don't know that it was really a place. It just as your person develops, I think, like I said, if you being authentic and present, then I think your artistry develops, you know what I mean. So I think that's kind of how that's a good question. She drew. She was like, we're going in here. I'm not staying up here. You're gonna do that for your other interviews. We're going here and we're going into the room. Okay, Oh wow, you're so amazing to talk to you, by the way, thank you, likewise.