Deeply Well with Devi BrownUnderstanding one’s sensitivity; over our emotions, mind, and spirituality can take time to examine and define. How do you respond to toxicity? How do you adapt? What is the name of what you’re going through? Finding the answers to these questions could lead you to being your full self.
On today’s episode, Lalah Delia joins the conversation. Delia is a bestselling author, educator, spiritual writer, certified spiritual practitioner, and founder of Vibrate Higher Daily School. She is leading seekers to self-empowerment and a life of more grace and high vibrations, and today she shares her story and her light with us.
Learn More: Lalah Delia
The Book: Vibrate Higher Daily
Connect: @DeviBrown @LalahDelia
Take a deep breath in through your nose.
Hold it.
Now, release slowly again deep in helle hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply, deeply well. I I am deeply, deeply well. I am deeply wow. I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on your journey. I'm Debbie Brown and this is a podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready to expand on your journey of higher consciousness and self care. This is where we heal, this is where we become. Welcome to the show. My intention for this episode is to really dive into what it is to live with self mastery. I'm a big believer that being on this journey, there is always, always, always deeper to go, and that tends to be where once we surrender to it, some of the fun and the creativity can really come to life in the way that we choose to experience what it is being alive and experience our spiritual curriculum. Today's shoe I have a master I have an incredible, incredible guest joining us today. Leyla Delia is a best selling author, an educator, and a spiritual writer. She's a certified spiritual practitioner and the founder of Vibrate Higher Daily School. She is leading seekers to self empowerment and a life of more grace and high vibrations. Her best selling book, Vibrate Higher Daily, Live Your Power, spiritual writings, teaching, speaking, and social media presence are guiding seekers all around the globe on a journey back home to their empowered, higher potential whole selves. Through her lyrical and organic writing, teaching style and experiences, Layla en Liven spiritual seekers looking to live with more intuition, empowerment, higher purpose and vibrations, confidence, grace, and subconscious mind repro gramming. Her work is a response to her journey and to the current vibrational state of the world that we live in, navigate and journey through together, my sister, Welcome to the show, Leila.
Thank you, sweet sister Devi for having me. I am so excited about this conversation, as I am all of ours. But this is in front of we be talking. Are we talking? Yes?
Oh my god, I so I so love that about us. Like you know, some people, it's just you were kind of like born to talk.
To each other. I love that as perfect that is. That's it. Yeah, born to talk to each other. Yeah.
I'll look up sometimes like we'll be we'll be like chewing on some thoughts together, and I'll look up and I'm like, oh, it's been three hours. We've been on the phone for three.
Out easily and just flowing the entire time.
Oh yeah, Leila, I've been I've been really looking forward to this conversation for so many reasons, but especially because you know, when I thought of this newest season of the podcast, those who been rocking with this show for the last three and a half four years that I've been doing it, everyone has been going so deep, at least from the responses I've been getting from those of you that that share, which I'm so grateful for those shares and the expansive feedback that you give for each episode. But I think we've reached a point for those that really connected to the journey seriously to find new ways, new tools, new techniques to go even deeper. And one of the things that especially you and I always talk about is surrendering to the understanding that even the things that you have mastered, there's deeper to go, there's new facets to see it through.
Yeah.
So I think before we dive into all of that, I would love to start with saying, how is your spirit right now? What are you currently savoring in your life?
Oh? I'm savoring slowing down, slow living and just being able to be in the process of the shift happening. And I'm going through an intense shift and I'm so present with it. I'm mothering myself through it. I'm my healer through it, I'm my nurse through it, my midwife through it, and I'm just being so hands on with myself at this moment, through this shift, and that process has made it such a completely such a completely different shift. So where it feels like, oh, my team is with me. You know when I say my team, my support team first off is me like all hands are on deck. And so it feels so grounding and good going through this shift. And I have you of course, you know, just having beautiful sisters to you know, to bounce thoughts and experience off of. It's really beautiful. So I'm savoring being able to slow down and journey and grace.
Yeah. Yeah, something that that you shared with your community and you've talked about in your book is just you know, really being on this path for quite a while. You know, you came into your awakening, you came into your understanding that there was more, that there were more expansive ways of being alive, and you chose a path of service very early on. So a lot of you know, I think shifting is something that you probably have a lot of muscle memory in.
Right.
It's like your a neat way of being is to kind of surrender to the feeling of that intuition guiding you towards something new, different, more when you are like in a moment like this, how do you know it's time to shift? How are you made aware that okay, there we grow again, you know, like this, let's lean into it.
Yeah, for me and almost I would probably say the person watching this right now, most of us. When your life feels the most wonky, when your life feels the most vulnerable, and when it feels like everything is like not working out, falling apart, that's exactly what's supposed to be happening. Because you're expanding, and so that that shell that you've been in, that container that has held you purposely has to expand out. It has to dissolve, it has to burst open. And so just going through the gravity of that, that's when I know every time and I'm like, oh, okay, or if it hasn't happened a while, I can almost track it and clock it. Now, I'm like, oh, clock like clockwork. It's about time and another feeling. If you don't have that, it's like you have this immense amount of what can appear to be boredom where everything just seems to be like crickets, you know, just it's really like, Okay, I'm here, I'm existing. What's happening is that restlessness that kind of starts to creep in? It does, and I'm like, oh, you know. And so that those two ways are how I know, yeah, yeah, and what does that process look like? And I want to get like, okay, let me start here. I remember like years ago I had gone probably ten years ago, I had gone to this event and Maryann Williamson was speaking, and at the time she said something that felt incredibly revolutionary to me. She was talking about how she approached feelings of depression, and she was saying that she recognized that it's just kind of you know, the warning signal that's letting you know that it's time to work on self, it's time to hermit, it's time to process. It doesn't have to always have some of the gravity to it that it's presented with always. And I remember she said that she would kind of like build herself a little cave almost like when she felt those feelings creep in, she'd say, Okay, let me stalk my fridge, let me get you know, let me clean everything. Let me get the things you know that bring me comfort nearby. And it just I remember the time that I heard that. That was incredibly powerful for me, and I began to approach every time I have an experience like you're talking about like that, and I say, all right, well, I'm a book, a spa appointment, have that on calendar ready to go.
I'm going to have you know, I'm going to have the tools that I need nearby. I'm going to have you know, the oils, I'm going to have you know, the tinctures, all the things that I know my nervous system craves when it's under duress. And then I'm going to find things to kind of pack in my creativity. If I'm not really feeling inspired, let me leave some paper around with some colored pencils some you know, I like making collages. So let me like get a little stack of mags and some scissors. So for your process, what does that look like for you? And what are some ways that those listening can say, Oh, that's what that feeling is inside? Okay, how do I maximize this? Yeah?
I get very very present, and when I say present, like all throughout the day, like I'm on, I'm and what I'm going through it because I understand my body is so sensitive and most of us are highly sensitive. Some times we don't realize it because we're tuning it out with other distractions in our life, which is another important conversation you know, of like the things that are taking away that sensitivity. That's so necessary, right, and so it's okay to feel, and so I allow myself to feel whatever is coming through, so I can know that a shift is happening. And it's just like a navigator, like being able to feel, you know, just the you know, the waves you know, you know, look at them and understand the weather that's coming in and being able to forecast. I need to do this, do that, like you say, So for me, I have to always turn to rest and I have to turn to body work. Massage is like yeah, like I just had the best chiatsu massage. This person was like rolling my body in ways I didn't even know it was possible, and it was like completely different right exactly. And I was like, resurrect me through this change I'm going through. And I because what can happen. What can happen is that it can feel like a midlife crisis or even a thing now called quarter life crisis, and it could feel like that, but then when you realize, oh, this is just another shifty you know, this is just another awakened or ascension, like whatever your language is for, it's it's something and we can't deny that these things happen, almost like milestones in our lives. And so just allowing myself to say, I know I'm headed for this milestone. What can I do to prepare? And another thing is having my toolbag flower essences. I keep them in my I joke a lot now like inner within myself because my purse looks so different now that it used to look like back in the day, and like now and I'm you know, I will and you know, like I've done this with you, Like we could be out at a function or you know, out of town or whatever, and I'm like, oh, I have this, and I have that. Pull out medicines and herbs and tinctures and it's just like it. It keeps me so grounded. So plant medicine. I stick with that. I stay with that. I listen to music that helps my brain waves be in a supportive space and create firm, healthy boundaries of not just energy from people, but things of like what can come into my eargate iGATE during this very vulnerable time, and knowing that it's a vulnerable time. And with that, if I'm in a vulnerable time, I really have to mother and be mindful of how I'm authoring my thoughts and my words and my beliefs during this time. And so I'm just so hands on. And so now I talk about in the book that become the chemist of your life, so that you can understand your life as your laboratory. And certain things together make potions, and certain compounds together are beautiful, but other compounds together are poisons and toxins. So just really understanding that and all this helps to inform how you take care of your vessel, which is carrying the gifts and this next expansion. Yeah, I love that so so much. One of my teachers kind of described it as like run experiments on yourself. Yeah, you know, like be willing to experiment with yourself, like even in those thoughts and actions, like if I made this decision differently, let's just see what could come, you know, and then kind of we get to adapt from there. Adapt That word is like, that's the word. That's the word adapt because it's gonna it's going to cause you to adapt so much.
Something that that you were talking about, And this is something we really live by and talk about all the time. But I haven't talked about it too much on the show yet. You know, there's a lot of phrases that are getting thrown around a lot right now. A lot of a lot of people are like I'm an impath, I'm highly sensitive.
A lot are. But it's also there are.
Terms that I think are not always fully translated. And I would love to talk about that with you for a minute, because you and I are both empathic, and we are both like very highly sensitive, like very high Like we can't be in toxic rooms because we'll absorb the energy that's present, so you know one thing about you and I will pop up and we'll be in the mix, and then you won't hear from us for months. Yes, yes, but you know that piece. That's something. When I first learned of that phrase early in my journey, I really rejected that label highly sensitive because I didn't fully understand what it meant, and as someone that had lived a life that I felt like, I don't look like the things that I've been through, so sometimes people assume things are easier than they've actually been. I really rejected that because I would say, I'm not sensitive. You don't know my life.
Do you know what I've walked through?
I'm not sensitive, And I didn't really understand that it meant like deep sensitivity of your physical body, like at a cellular level, the way that your body responds to stress, the way that your body responds to toxicity. But that alone is such a profound healing journey. When you can understand that you know some things that may be happening to you physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, there's a whole other category of experience you're having that could be massively different from other people. Yes, can we speak to that can you speak on what that journey is for you, kind of being someone that's highly sensitive, someone that is incredibly intuitive, and how you adapt your needs around that.
Oh, absolutely was. It was helpful for me as well because I had language for what I was experiencing, and like the adage goes, name it to tame it, and so it helps to know, Okay, well, I have a sensitivity to stimuli, into energy, into people's fields, and even to people's thoughts, like I can. I can literally be in a room and feel someone's thoughts. But when I was younger, I didn't know what to do with that, like what are you growing up in the eighties and in night, Like yeah, there was just no context language, no language, no community, no support for any of this. So it kind of swept that swept under the rug. So we're our generation is the ones who were awakening to it in a way of like oh we're we're We brought the support online. So now this next generation and the generations to come, we'll have language forward and community and support and a path already paved to say it's okay to land here and to be like this. But I, for the life of me, I felt so awkward For a huge majority of my life. It was a lot of masking. It was a lot of fitting in because oh, no one else is feeling this, all right, you know, I'm just keeping it to myself. But at the same time, I'm reading the room. I know we shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't be here for sure, but going along with it. So there's a lot of killing I had to do through even that type of thing of not being true to who I was because no one else could understand it. So I just kind of just buried it, right and so now, but living in that authenticity, authenticity and in my power with it changed the game. Like, I'm so happy that I claimed who I am and I'm proud of it. I'm happy, you know, I'm full of gratitude for being able to name like what I'm going through, and you know, even even on a deeper level of like recently finding out other things about myself of like, Okay, you're on the spectrum and it's okay, it's okay to be you know, high functioning and on the spectrum. And I never understood that before you I love you, Yeah, And so for me understanding, well, this is why you had that gift, This is why you had these feelings, this is why you could perceive things. This is why people didn't always understand you, and this is why you were misled or mislabeled. And you know, thinking back far as like kindergarten, you know, being put back in kindergarten because they didn't know what was wrong with me. But now that I understand that it wasn't anything wrong. It was just different, right, and it was just something different. And so being able to share that even in this space, this is my first time, as you know, sharing this publicly. But I'm at home here, you know, I'm at home here. My mother left the planet not knowing because I did have a later in life, as obviously, diagnosis of you know, of being on the spectrum. So it's different for me. And then you know, the way I see energy. I have a niece who also, you know, is on the autism spectrum, and she is such a joy to our family, and for so long I connected with her, you know, I connected with my niece on such a deep level. Now I was always like, this is my baby, this is my baby. But now I understand. Now I understand why a truly felt like that. So it gave me this new for one, a new identity, and I'm like, wow, cool is that? Like? I embrace it. You know, there was grief a little bit when I first found out to you know, because I was like, I went through denial of like there is absolutely no way, and then I had to understand what highly functioning meant. But also being careful of that word because anyone who's highly sensitive or who is on the spectrum or who is empathic people, because you can function sometimes at a high capacity, you're not given the grace to also have your sensitivities. And I think, you know, that's why a lot of people now want to remove the term highly functioning it comes to autism, because it sometimes gives people a false sense of you know, capacity, when sometimes it's not there. So so yeah, so just energy, being empathic, highly sensitives. I think that once you can realize whoever you are and however you identify, that it's okay and to just journey and grace and understand that this is how your unique spirit chose to be in this type of body this lifetime, and that body is necessary, that sensitivity is necessary, and learning how to master it one thing for me when I was younger, I was very highly reactive. My feelings would get hurt so easy. I would get triggered so easy, I would pop off so easy. I would just be like, Okay, this is what we're doing so easy, you know, match the energy so easy. And that was as you know, for my types, that's the absolute worst you could do is to match energy. Take even more on. So, you know, being able now to stay in the practice of mindfulness, vibration and meditation, all these things just really helped speak you know, to who and what that was, and you know, just the times that we're.
In deeply well, I just really want to express, like how much, just how much I honor the gift that you are giving so many by choosing to share your experience right now, because this is a piece of things that are kind of I feel that, you know, these conversations around mental health and spiritual development have been really intensifying, especially since twenty twenty, but really in the life last couple of decades. For the ability for children to have diagnosises that are supportive to them being able to live a life that allows them to maximize their possibilities, and something that is happening right now is that there is a huge wave of Generation X and Generation and millennials that are getting very late diagnosises, and there are men and women across the country that are awakening to finding out that they have neurodivergence in a variety of ways, with many being you know what is at least right now, I think this is still the correct terminology. It's changing pretty rapidly, but being on the spectrum of autism and a lot of people are not getting that diagnosis, especially women and girls until now like thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and it is it's so powerful to just have an understanding of who you are and who you've been, and to understand that so many of the things that you may have been fighting with yourself over in Wye or you know, reactions that you're having internally that other people aren't seeing, ways that you're trying to understand the world around you that other people are completely unaware of. Yeah, and to just know that you're perfectly designed and this whole time you just weren't giving the phrasing and you weren't giving the support to be able to be your full whole self, and so.
I'm just so yeah, thank you, we are just yeah, it's your being your full whole self. Like that's if there was anything I could look back on, if anything, out of all the things I can regret of my past, that's the only one because everything else I understand was purpose, you know, it was prerequisite lessons, it was, it was boot camp. But not being able to be my full self, that's the one where I understand that that had the most impact for me, honestly, even over the trauma over domestic like like really over domestic violence, you know, over being lost in these streets, really like being turned out like in so many different ways, you know, through predator relationships. But it was not being able to be in my full self. And I know, had I had the language and the knowledge, there's no way I would have been you know, made a lot of the decisions that I made or put up with a lot that I put up with and not having like any type of guidance like, oh, there you go, you're out there, figure it out, you know, but we figured out. Like, thank goodness, I figured it out. And I give thanks for that survival mechanism that my soul came here with to just be thrown into the deep, you know, into the deep and teaching myself how to swim in it.
M yeah, mmm, how does that feel in this moment? What is changing and shifting for you with just the deep and understanding of how your body and brain works.
Yeah, A lot of it is this this new like I was saying when we began our conversation, this embodiment of mind dwelling Hiller has just completely like, Okay, now you're ready, right, and mothering myself now you're ready. Now you're ready to receive my love and my care. And so I have been loving myself and nurturing myself because my mother's not here, you know, she again she left this realm before she knew and I know she would be here holding space for me completely. And so my grandmother Layla as well, my grandmother Diglia as well. And so I think that for me, the number one thing that I was clear I had to do was to nurture and love myself and mother myself through it. So it's feeling very nurturing, and it's feeling very I'm learning myself through it. You know, there's probably still because it's fresh, you know, the awareness of it it's days where I'm like, oh, okay, this is why I'm seeing this like this, or this is this is what's happening, or this is why I need to do this, and I give thanks for And I know you said this to me in a conversation about being at a certain level to receive it. Now you know that I had done enough work to where this is the embodiment that I expect parents through that, and I'm grateful that I did that. Like I laid so much groundwork in healing and loving myself and knowing how to journey and grace and so the things that I wrote in this book, the things that I write, like, I really write from such a real place that it just it's they're like medicine words and they are words of They're not just words like oh I just have to write something to post online. No, this is like channeled intuitive words that are helping me, but also that I know that are helping other people as well. And so it's feeling very supported and I'm just so grateful because what I first found out, it was like WHOA like that that divine sacred whirlwind, that tornado, you know, like Dorothy and the Wiz like, Okay, where am I?
Like?
What is this? So? Yeah, just finding this so in that movie The Wiz is just my ultimate favorite spiritual teaching movie. But yeah, just coming back home to myself. Yeah, and knowing that I was always home, but how and the awareness that I'm home is different.
Now. What I'm hearing out what you're saying is like, oh does it.
Nose break? I'm sorry? Okay, this like.
Visual that I feel that I'm getting in everything that you're just saying is like also like when you come into new information about yourself and about your life, you know, there is a grief that flows with that, right like who would I have been if I had had the support? Who would I have been if I had known there was a different choice? Or you know, for all of us, I think there is this grief that can come in with some massive breakthroughs and shifts that come forward and on. You know, if we're looking at this through Yen and Yong, Light in the dark, dark in the light, continuously, continuously, there's always this balancing that happens cosmically where there's also this opportunity to really jump back into your path, into your past and heal those ages like to sit in thought and in meditation and prayer around pivotal moments in your life where you didn't have the information you have now and extend that grace then as you're walking through this part of your journey now and this new expansion. This just really define glorious uncovering. How has the healing felt in that for you? And is there opportunities that have been kind of presenting to like love that little Laila, like go back and hold that little Laila, or just experience even the creative gift that maybe weren't noticed or weren't appreciate it that were part of the way that you're designed.
Yeah, oh absolutely, I would say all of the above. It's my son allows me to play and I it's something very interesting about our relationship because he brings out my inner child, and my inner child just has so much fun with him. And what started as me playing with him when he was a toddler in a way of showing him how to play. You know, just one day he was being really rough with his action figures, like me to them, and I was like, oh, I want to teach him in this moment, like how to be on a team, like how to work together, you know, like let's make what if your action heroes or he tells me not have to call them toys, their figures action figures, okay, And so so my politically correct as a boy mama got to be correct. So his action figures, like what if he learns how to work on a team, And so that was such a pivotal Yeah, I mean five minutes in, he was like a completely different having a completely different supportive experience with himself, right, And so in that moment while I was teaching him, I was like, oh, but this is fun, Like I was on the floor with him, and ever since that moment, I was so mindful of he needs play and I was already aware that little Layla, you know, is feeling some things about what she experienced when she was younger and not having full range to just be who she was. And so in that moment that feeling, I was like, I want to generate this more because he enjoyed it. I enjoyed it, And so we continue just have playtime together. And even till now he's fourteen now and we still do the same thing. Like our relationship is just so unique in a way of like we play I'm mama, you know, mama, you know number one. But we we play and that really allows me to just be free in who I am. So that is is having playtime my daughter as well, like we I get to really with her. My inner teenager is there with her and my young adult self and it's like I already got through mama phase and she's she's twenty five now, so it's like I can have India, so I can have I can have different levels of expression with her and with her. I'm aware that being able to be my younger self and mindful, like you're your younger self, but you're your mindful younger self is a good friend to her, you know, is a sister to her. And I'm so aware that at the same time, all these different things are going on and it's so multi dimensional and so in that way, I feel really fool And then as mama, they really are such supportive children, like they really are, like she she brings me tinctures. She you know, they give a sade like whatever isah. And this was even before the diagnosis, but it's it's like even now it's become like, oh, things make sense, you know. So we're feeling really together as a unit, really supportive as a unit. And I give thanks. I give so much thanks for the children that I incarnated onto this planet with like because they are they are such spiritual giants, and I'm so grateful that we recognize each other and we said, okay, this is how we're going to do it this lifetime. But I'm clear that your soul is mastery. Your soul is mastery. So even that's how I parent, like, I'm not parent like you're you're a subservient. You know you you are a spiritual master and you incarnated as a child, my child this time, so I honor you. And it's just so beautiful to express that in family dynamics, and it's allowing me because I'm in this dynamic, in this this type of community at home, it feels so supportive. And it didn't always feel like that, you know, when I was younger, it was like who trying to figure it out and of course having spiritual spiritual spiritual giants in my life, but without that missing piece again, it was just like, you know, they did the best they could, and they did a really good job. I have to say, they did a really good job. Even you know, people in my family who I was at odds with for some reason of them judging me like you know, when I went on my healing journey, or when I was awkward and different, like they did a really good job and making me not feel okay with myself because that really was also in the pot of like why I'm going on self discovery. You know, I'm not okay agreeing with you that I'm different and awkward right now. I know why they saw something different in me, but none of us had the language. So I have compassion. You know, none of us understood why, and none of us understood why I thought the way I So I have compassion for them. And to this day, which so interesting, is that they're calling me for advice. They've been calling me for advice. They've come around. You know, it's completely loving. It was always loving, but you know, but it's like a deeper respect for who I am. And yeah that was before the diagnosis, you see. So it's like, yeah, your I just know that your gift carries you in places where you may not feel me now. You may not get it now, but it's going to make sense one day, right, Just give me time to get on my journey to heal, to get past some things, to set my life up how it needs to be, and you'll see exactly who I am. But in the meantime, I don't have to prove anything to you, you know. And that's where, yeah, Oh, that was the most powerful thing that I could have done, is like let them go, like release anyone who made me feel like I was awkward, I was different, I was defiant, whatever it was, and just to keep moving on my journey. And the more I kept moving, it was like this handfull of me where that hand was so much more beautiful and it was just so healing and cathartic for me that I kept going towards that and away from this other energy, whether it was friends, family, whoever was relationships, And that's like I just wanted more of that in my life. And I'm still moving towards that, this divine guidance, Like I'm still moving towards there, and so I feel like that's really what's informing and guiding me.
Deeply. Wow, so many things to deepen in and what you just shared, you know, there's a couple of thoughts that were coming to me as you were talking. I was reading recently, I just loved the way that they phrased this, where they said, you know, even your even the villains in your life, have a gift for you. You know, both both your villains and your heroes in this story that you're living have gifts, you know. And to what you said, it's like that shift and awareness is so powerful, and depending on what the experience is, it doesn't always feel possible, and it could take many, many, many steps, surrenders and practicings to get to that point. But when we understand that, like everything is a catalyst to become even what we can perceive as the worst things. And that is not to minimize from some of the things that can be experienced, because there is a darkness on this planet, you know, everything. There are some experience and says that that some have that it's like that that can never be scrubbed clean. And I, my God, like.
I get that.
Yeah, And with a lot of work and surrenderings, sometimes there are possibilities to relate to even the most devastating circumstances in a way that alleviates suffering for us, you know. And another thing I was thinking it, I remember I was doing I had.
A really.
Really painful experience with someone in my life that was in my life for a very long time. And you know, part of I understood immediately that I was being asked to be brought to a new depth of compassion, but it was still kind of like the balancing of that sacred rage mixed with For me, it was always I went directly to can passion and I would always kind of bypass the anger and things and so anyho. That was part of a long process. But I remember I was doing this Akashic records reading a long long time ago, and we were talking about in the spiritual world and on a karmic level, what that dynamic was between myself and that person. And they were like, yeah, but you both like really signed up for this and they were meant to teach you through pain last for that, and they had this visual of that actually meant it kind of really helped me on my journey to forgiveness and acceptance. And they said, when you get back to the spirit realm, you're going to give each other high fives, like the second you see that, once you both cross over, it's going to be like what we did it. And now that I'm so far removed from the pain points of that experience for me and the trauma of that experience. I am so grateful for that experience in a way that I still haven't amassed the words to convey, because I realized that for me and whatever I signed up for in this life, I could only learn it that way. Yeah, And when I chose to learn it, and when I chose not to be kind of as Roomy would say, you know, in that field where there's no right or wrong. When I chose to not be in that field of judgment of assessing myself as the good person and them as the bad person in it, regardless of what the optics were, it freed me. It freed me to the depths of my soul and I can never forget that freedom. And so I look at that and I say God that I short of choose a rough way to learn it, but.
Wow, thank you God for that learning.
Ooh who I've become with that learning that part?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're becoming something through it. And it's like when you can and now having the mindfulness and awareness and even the language for people maybe not now maybe going through something and they feel like what is going on? But if you can just hold onto who you're becoming in it, that's the medicine and that's what's going to change the game on how you come out. And that was that right there. Like when we're reactive, like how I used to be. I used to just be like okay, you know, just and when you're reactive, everything somebody does, every wind blow, every sound is like you're moving a different direction. That is not a way to live. It's so exhausting. And you don't deserve that, Like we deserve better. We deserve to be mindful in our situation and take our time through the chaos to understand what's going on, to understand like who this person, like to even give ourselves grace and time to understand. Okay, are the adversary, but I chose this. This is a lesson. I'm in such deep cover that I'm thinking you're really the enemy, but you're really the teacher, right, this is really a lesson and this not everyone is ready for this conversation though, you know, And it's a deep conversation of learning how to be human and how does the soul come into this human body and leave with compassion and love and life? Right and leave better, right, and then leave their energy signature on the earth, light and powerful and something that can be useful, purposeful. Right. But when we're ready for that conversation, our lives expand into a completely different place, and then we understand, oh, I have more power over my life than I realized. No matter how what cards are dealt, no matter what you know, how it looks on the onset, whatever this three D reality labels it as, or how it shows up, I have power. And that's what's important about it, you know. And that goes to what we were saying. You don't once you get to there, you don't look like what you've been through. Yeah, it's just like you start to embody this radiance and this light and wisdom. It's just it has a look. It has a look and a vibe in a film, you know, because I look at me post and then after whoof I mean it's funny because like what I thought was like back then and beautiful, I was like, oh, I can see it now, you know, I can see her stress. You know, she was doing the best she could. I give her grace. But it's a look, you know, it's a it's a it's a whole thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, she she showed up under duress, she showed up well, but in comparison to what's possible. Yeah, you really really really see that oof.
Yeah yeah, especially when you say I'm letting it go, like I'm I'm no longer harboring like and holding that animosity and the energy.
I don't know, I cannot die a thousand depths. Right, It's like you prolonged the injury. And also you know, like it was really coming forward, like the concept of being a divine co creator because we create even sometimes the harm. Right, It's like, what are we actively connecting ourselves to? What are we actively choosing to be in communion with? And I think that goes for literally everything, you know. I it's like you have to be so committed to fiercely editing like yourself, your life, your process at all times and surrendering detaching and saying okay, I'm going to let that go. I'm going to release that. Yeah, even sometimes holding on to the friendships, the relationships, the job, the this, the that. When you know there is a call to stop, you know there is a call to let something end, but you don't. At that point, you're creating your reality. You're co creating the pain in your life. You're co creating the distress in your life. Yeah, and it just it's all such a ripple effect. It has an effect on everything. It's not as simple as as trying to be stoic or saying all endure, all endure, it makes me righteous. It's like you're also killing your body. You know, women and men, especially especially women of color. Yeah, die a lot faster of a wide spectrum of diseases that don't typically happen to other people. And if you look into you know, the foundation of that person. A lot of times, it's not not creating freedom when you're called to for yourself. Yeah.
Yes, it's stress related, yeah, and toxic related and living a life that is not authentic to yourself. I can relate to that in a way of I had my body and this is this is like this may take us in a different direction. I'm not sure, but what I do know is that when you do not live a life authentic to you, your body becomes successible, susceptible, susceptible to illness, to compromise. And it's so important to be in this vessel, in your authentic signature right. So it's not just like, oh, I'm authentic like it's it's a catchphrase. No, I have to be who I am. I have to live and breathe and eat and serve who I am. If not, I'm jeopardizing my body. It's compromising this vessel that I'm carrying the gift in and that I'm gonna can do it right.
And I'm jeopardizing my purpose pose. I'm jeopardizing why I chose to come here, that I was called to do.
That's it.
It affects literally everything that that ability to moment by moment choose the higher choice, choose the higher awareness, and all the sikes practice. I'm not trying to overly simplify. It is a journey me all the way. It is a journey. It is a journey, and no one is wrong. And journey and grace tell me how to do all of that right away, and journey and grace, Journey and grace all the way there.
Because when you journey and grace and love yourself through it, like those days where you feel off, in those days you're like I missed the mark, Like yeah, they don't take you out. It's like journey and grace.
And you repair in real time and real you know you're not affording things. There's not shame. It can just be like, yeah, I could have made a different choice and I didn't, and I accept that, and now I'll co create something.
Else, something else, right, And that's that. Just hearing you say that feels so much lighter than taking a week or two to like really be heavy and just burdened with this energy or this knowing of like I missed the mark or it didn't happen like I thought it should happen. Like when you can just say, okay, let me reconfigure, let me be the can miss in the library laboratory, let me make some other things work, And it's like knowing how to shuffle things around and adapt that word you said earlier, like that that it literally is like adapting is just like the that's the word for earth. They gave us. They put that in you somewhere, so that unlocks something different levels unlock when you remember, oh, I have to adapt, like adapt and adjust, you know, yeah, yeah, they use that in the military, adapt and adjust, because it really is a form of survival.
I feel like that is a superpower both of us have, Like we have high levels of adaptability. Yeah, Like and I think, you know in something that we explore this a lot in our friendship and in conversations, and I think it's something I explore personally a lot as well. But the ability to also be at peace with the fact that there are very logical circumstances that arise that, like life doesn't have to always be righteous, happy, good to also be worthy. And that's something that I feel really as I age, as I grow, especially you know, as a mother that is always looking through the facets of how do I translate this wisdom for my child in a way that's supportive to who he's becoming. You know, It's like that's something I'm really grateful for, Like I can have a really good day on a bad day. It's like it's this understanding we are constantly oscillating between grief and joy, between you know, challenge and freedom. It's all meant to be at play all the time. And when you kind of just adapt to that or at tune to that, you get to have like a more gentle sway as opposed to these really hard rocking back and forth, Like it doesn't have to be you know, the the ship in the ship in these you know, rocking against harsh waves. Yeah, it can kind of just how can I glide down this river because it's gonna go anyway. You know, all of this is going to happen anyway, So how do I alleviate my suffering? And I think the way you express it is so divine, which is journey and grace. Journey and grace.
Yeah, you have to, like I I if there is just one thing I could like the last thing I ever wrote, Okay, yeah, that's that's deep to say.
That's that's a lot to say. But it was a journey and grace just because that that's everything. Like, it helps you return to your lightness, It helps you return home, it helps you let go, it helps you detach. You know, it helps you remember who you are. That you're learning, you're growing, you're expanding, and that's the beautiful thing about you know, being on a level of learning, growing and ascending and transfiguring your life is like, oh, there's going to be different levels. I'm always going to be learning into, leaning into, expanding, stretching, breaking into and so and sometimes nudge sometimes thrown into you know, it can happen all kind of ways, and so yeah, that grace is just oh, it's medicine. It's just straight medicine.
Because this Earth School is never going to run short on lessons everyone, that's.
For sure, and always always showing up to teach, never a day off, never tell y'all. Yeah, Leila.
The way that I love to end each show is by providing a little bit of soul work for the audience that resonates with this episode, something that they can deepen in. It could be an inquiry, it could be a practice, it could be a thought to savor, to chew on, and to explore until our next episode. So, my dearest Master Teacher sister, I would love to ask, considering the conversation that we just had, for those that are connecting to the sound of our voice right now, what is something What is an intention you'd like everyone to kind of deepen into over this next week or so.
The intention that I would love for us to deepen into is to expand and expand, encourage and grace, because you're going to need both. There's a lot of things shifting right now on the planet, and it can feel like we're in a different universe and things don't feel the same and this is supposed to happen. You know, every big shift, this happens. And the shift is not just in culture. The shift is internally. The shift is spiritual. The shift is cosmic. It's planetary, but it's also there's a lot of light coming. We're moving through a photonic and so there's really there's a lot we're going through as literally as a planet. We're getting more light onto the planet now. So those of us who have allowed ourselves to be sensitive are going to pick up on this. So this is going to cause us now to have to write, now, show up a little more in our lives with courage. Now that courage may tell you you need courage to say out like you need courage to start to stop doing so much in your life. Right, And the person who resonates with that knows exactly what that is. Right, you're doing too much. Sit down and let life. It's time for you to receive. It's time for you to rest, it's time for you to heal. Right, it's time for you to get out of the way. It's time for you now to be still so things can happen for you the way they need to only when you're still. For others of us and I'm in this class. It's time to expand and do more and go and there's certain codes that are going to be awakened and you're going to receive more emotion. You need to be emotion more for here and you need to expand in this that right there is calling for courage. And courage is important because fear a lot of times is the teacher, you know, when when where it's time for us to show up and do more or do less, fear is telling us, well, you're not going to be as important if you're not speaking up and you know, you're not going to be seen in your power if you're not doing as much, or you're you're going to be judged if you're doing too much. So we have to be able to tell fear to behave and we go forward, you know, we go forward with our gifts, We go forward with the with the lessons and journey and grace on the days that you don't get it, so really make a mantra and really live into that prayer every day of courage and grace, like what this looks like for me in this moment, Courage to say yes and grace when I don't say yes or grace when I don't feel comfortable in it, knowing that you know, as I continue to move that the flow, it's going to sync up with me. And I'm you know where I'm supposed to be. I'll be guided there and expanded into that. But being obedient to spirit is just so important. And again that word obedience, Obedience, I say that in the most grandmotherly, loving, spiritual way possible, is just obedience to your higher self, obedience to your creator, Obedience to that beautiful gift that you carry, you know, into that body that needs healing and rests all of it, and that work in you that needs to go forth.
Now right, So obedience to all of it.
And just to say yes, I'm saying yes to courage and I'm saying yes to Grace.
You may want to take a deep in hell in and out there and if that was really resonating, allow yourself to roll that over a couple times in your own body with your own voice. I am obedient to Courage, I am obedient to Grace. My heart is open to receive guidance. Supernatural healing has made its way into my life. MM.
That was so beautiful.
M thank you, thank you, thank you, thank.
You, thank you, thank you, my beloved sweet sister. Thank you so much for this conversation. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, I mean, m yeah, thank you so much. Thank you for everything that you were willing to share with us and for all the ways that I know it's just profoundly expanding. Everyone that heard your voice today, Wow, wow, wow m M.
I know everyone knows where to find you, but head to Leila's instagram at Leiladelia, head to a bookstore near you if you haven't already. But I know most more than likely you have this beautiful bestselling book Vibrate Higher Daily, and you also have your community, the Vibrate Higher Community. So these things are really I mean, I know some people listening right now are like, yep, I know where my work is really consider you know, creating space that feels supportive to do that, and having more conversation with people that you resonate with. And maybe there are some terms that you heard us say on this show that it could be really worthy to dedicate an afternoon to some Google searches, to doing some deep dives, to going into different forums, to going into different instagram pages and just expanding your world and expanding what you know is possible for yourself. Yeah.
Absolutely, because we're guided, Like that's we're guiding each other home, you know, so hearing, you know, overhearing a conversation, and that's really what a podcast is. You're overhearing a conversation, you know. And I was like, oh, those words, that word popped out, you know, write it down, meditate on it, and the more like that one word, like if you heard. And this is one thing I can say as a writer is that pay attention to the words that catch your attention because when you go read that word, that word is going to open up a floodgate of other words and a conversation that can turn into some medicine and answers. So yeah, definitely, definitely. I love that you said. Google and research it, track it yeah yeah, track it yeah.
Track it, follow it, and set intention for things to be revealed.
Yes.
Yeah, I love you.
I love you so much. Thank you so much for coming on the show. My honor, my honor, Thank you.
Big love everyone, thank you for joining us. We'll be back b next week now. Mistakes down, stas Snaps. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget. Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacquis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundback You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows s
