We spend a lot of time looking for love — but have we got that wrong? Is love something you discover, or something you’d be better off growing into? It’s all down to choice…but not too much! 

Dessa finds answers in the supermarket cereal aisle and the brain scans carried out by a biological anthropologist, which is basically someone who puts your life in the context of everyone else’s. Think you’re special? Think again. Plus Dessa hears some words of wisdom from her mom on how best to navigate the wilderness of dating aps. 

Listen and love deeper.

Deeply Human is a BBC World Service and American Public Media coproduction with iHeartMedia.