Episode 110: What Day Is It?

Published Mar 21, 2024, 5:14 PM

On today's show we discuss the scandal with Shohei Ohtani's interpreter and whether or not Ohtani himself was involved in the gambling. Also we talk to the guys about their trip to Minnesota which leads to a very interesting question we pose to Bad Larry and eventually we get to the guys' bets. Enjoy!

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now join my bad Larry, Shay and Irving and Dylan the graphics got I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick.

There he is.

Back from the Big East Tournament. Bad Larry had a good week last week. Congratulations Larry, thank you Dan.

How you doing, buddy, I'm good.

Bad Larry won four units last week, Dylan lost a half a unit last week, and Shaye lost one and a half units last week. By the way, Ray and Dylan were with me in Minneapolis for the Saint Patty's Day Parade and they were gambling. I could hear them. They go, oh, what do you think about and they all of a sudden I realized they go six for six and then all of a sudden, you rolled that into thirteen hundred dollars a piece.

Yeah, we did the You know, you see those things where it's like if you started betting this team week one and rolled your winnings over you'd have one hundred million dollars.

Yeah.

Wait, we did a miniature version of that. So we start off like Nebraska and just started rolling and rolling it. And then Sunday when we were leaving, we were like, it's Minnesota. We got to throw a little hockey parlay at the end. So probably the Rangers and the Knight's money line with like six hundred bucks on it. N it made a nice little penny there.

Bad Larry.

How was the biggest tournament?

It was great? Damn. So that one guy, Oh, I said hello to he was outside. I didn't know he was going to be there. But inside there was a limo that came up with like twenty guys from the shore that we do it every year, you meet at tiernanog and so I wanted to keep the phone on, but somehow either I cut you off or you cut me off. When I walked into the bar, what it was like cheers walking into cheers because I hadn't seen those guys as yet. I had been up the night before. They came up at noon that day and I had walked from the queue. I took the queue from Bridges apartment to Tiernan Knox and I was just walking in and when Marvin called me, and I had forgotten about the show. I'm sorry. I was, you know, I had other things on my mind. I was just standing on the street outside when that guy came up to me.

I know, but why do you do this? Why do you act like, oh, it snuck up on me, or I didn't get my bets in or the lines you guys are using.

Sometimes I don't know what day it is, and when I'm in the city and I've been in there for I had a big night the night before. I had forgotten it was Thursday. That's all.

Okay. A couple of butt heavies in the candle do that?

That might be the most I could relate to Larry just straight up out knowing what day it is.

Yeah, but we were at Saint Patty's Day. Yeah, and we were with Keeper's Heart. So they like to drink whiskey. That's different. Larry drinks Budweiser. Yeah, yeah, water. It's hard to lose track of the days if you're drinking Budweiser.

It is, yeah, one hundred percent.

Yes, Uh, okay, what what Larry?

Well, I didn't say anything well, I know that you were.

Going to you were going to say you were to defend your buttweiveers.

They're drinking.

Oh they caught me off guard with the twenty four ounce cans. Dan, I'm not.

Okay.

I still have to do my twenty and the garden doesn't take cash anymore. Oh no, Yeah, that was a bummer.

We're going to bring three thousand dollars for twenty twenty four Houns beers there.

Yes, there were nineteen. I think I looked at when I got home. I did check a couple of my bank statements, and there's like they're nineteen seventy five or seventeen ninety five.

Did you print those out? How did you check those? Did you print those out? Larry?

No, actually I do.

Yeah, you don't know how to know a log on log Yeah.

The only reason I was very impressed with myself. You could just tap to get on the queue, and I charged you two dollars and ninety cents and you don't have to go buy a ticket anymore.

Yeah, welcome to nineteen ninety eight. Larry. What the fuck have you been doing?

I don't I don't think I've been on the subway in thirty years and I usually we just get a cab outside my daughter's place, but my daughter didn't was going to meet me later, so I had to do the queue by myself and of course my two sons.

This is way too much.

We lost so many listeners, so many people just unplused.

Yes, yeah, I think someone got shot on the queue train that day. Larry grew around for that second.

The second day, Friday morning, when I was taking a train home the queue to back to Penn station, there was a guy's totally asleep on the boothbread across from me, but I just ignored him. I didn't care.

That's a great story.

I don't know if he was asleep more or less one listening to this show.

Okay, yeah, Ray, you have a.

Well before that whole ran, I was gonna say those twenty four ounces hurt a little more.

Going in, right, They did a little more depth depth, what is wrong with you?

It was funnier when Larry didn't go on a seven minute tangent of yeah the city.

That was long.

What a monologue, Larry. So just in case everybody, to refresh your memory, Ray produces this. Marvin has to sit in and run all the whatever you're running the dials over there. You have Shayan Irving, you have Dylan, and you have Bad Larry. Shall you anything you want to tell us about? Yeah, Missippi State plus one and a half? Right, what I get them at they're going in? Hey about Minneapolis? Yeah, so I forgot to give you any recommendations for that town. But there are quite a few establishments where you can meet a couple of local ladies that do a lot of the hip gyration. Were any of those facilities frequented. There was one across the street from the hotel.

Which one home away from home, hundreds of pretty girls and one ugly one. Right. It did say that I got a couple T shirts from there. The roommate hates it.

Yeah, that place was crank out T shirt.

But there's no booze served there. No, it's the whole kaboodle. Yeah, man, and you got the front row, great seats, you know, the whole bit. But no boos just meth heads even better.

Yeah, Colorado's like that too, if they're.

No, Minnesota's got the best meth in the country.

I know, not the math part. I mean that they don't serve boozs and strip clubs if they're showing the downstairs.

But you can like eat a brownie and go check out some titties.

You could do whatever you want.

Stupid booze and titties go together like peanut butter and jelly. Man.

It is kind of it is kind of shorting yourself.

So your wife doesn't like that you wear a strip club T shirt.

Now that we have daughters, she's like, Shay, come on, yeah, you got it because the picture is like some ladies legs like going through a hoop or something, and she's like, you know, I gotta explain it to them. It's just acting. First off, it's not a big deal. It's not they're playing a character. Like their name really isn't Stardust dummy, Like they're not actually going to veterinarian school. They're just trying to get some money for their pimp or their lover at home or their meth hat. All right, it's just acting. You're going to date an actor. I date an actor, ship, I married a failed one, but I did. She had kid. No, she's an incredible artist.

Retired retired act sem I.

Retired, but you didn't.

You should have said she's an incredible artist. And she wasn't able to fulfill.

Her because putting babies in her Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that's what's your fault. Oh absolutely, that's why do you think she hates me. She could have been the next Gwyneth Paltry. She could have been next Grace Kelly Danny. That's what I tell her. You could have been a princess.

Anybody got comments on's interpreter stealing money from stealing as first off.

This son of a bitch, he never bet on baseball. Dudes around baseball twenty four to seven, travels with the team, knows ins and outs of the roster, knows all this shit, and all of a sudden he doesn't fucking bet on baseball. Right, that's like me working in a meth lab and just only smoking weed. Like I'm just not that into it.

You could make the argument that he is five million in the hole, so maybe he actually wasn't betting on baseball.

I guarantee he's betting on baseball. This whole thing's reeks.

If he had an inside track, he did not use it very well.

The reason Otani said that he stole money from me is because it's a fucking crime to wire a bookie money, and that's why he's like, oh wha, wha wa wait a minute, like one of his dumb ass I don't know how you're this rich and your camp is just dumb, Like how do you not hire me? Motherfucker? Like you need somebody to tell you the rules and the regulations of illegal shit. I'm right here, I'm a lot cheaper than whatever the fuck you're paying.

Well, Plus they made the interpreter available to ESPN for ninety minutes.

Who sits down with the sheriff? Who the fucks is?

Yeah, don't need a lawyer?

What the fuck?

Yeah, don't need a lawyer, you know, no advice, Just go in there and tell him your side of the story the.

Hour and a half of just not pleading the fifth eighties.

But then you change your story the next.

Day before the story comes out, right, yeah, man, Yeah, you're busted. Yeah, so that's gonna do the question what the fuck is baseball going to do? Are they gonna sweep this under the rug?

Yeah, Jordan, they probably like to.

I think they have to write.

I don't know if they can. Because it's a criminal investigation.

It's a Feds are in it now because it's a wire him and it's an illegal bookie. That's federal ship. Yeah, the Feds don't give a fuck about Otani. No, they have a job to do.

The bookie already got rolled too, didn't he likes it.

All come about? I didn't catch that part. How did this even come?

I just think that it was uh, I don't know if it was offshore, just illegal bookie.

And then there was the book He was in southern California and I think he might have gotten popped or something and somehow through.

The Great Signs or some ship.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean stuff like, how does anyone get caught?

Well, well, they could look at there's a wire transfer. They're going to see, well, who's sending it to you? And that's a lot of money to be sending to somebody that's the kicker? That much money? Where are the suitcases full of cash? But also you know it's four and a half million dollars. If you had somebody stealing from you, wouldn't you notice you have somebody took four and a half million dollars?

Does the interpreter manage his money too? I don't know that because they're like they're like best friends too, right, that's the they probably work.

I mean, either side of the story, it's a federal crime. Stealing four and a half million from somebody or wiring Yeah, you're fucking beat either way.

You can't the feds won't hear the I was wiring it for my friend.

Excuse yes, Ray.

Well four and a half millions a lot better than the fifty million Bruno Marzo's fuck.

Yeah.

But they said that that wasn't true.

Yeah, that was right, Yeah, like totally made up or just say they said that.

He doesn't owe the casino money.

Well, I don't know if he actually they. I think he makes like ninety million a year for his residence. Yes, so he'd have to just be handing it.

Back to them. Yeah.

I don't know where that came from. But the representatives were like, wait, he doesn't owe anybody anything like MGM. Yeah, they said, held MGM grand fifty million dollars. I was like, that's gonna be a lot of silk Sonic performances.

Yeah, not as many as you'd think, though. I think he's doing all right.

Let me recap mad Larry did well. He nailed everything at the Big East and uh, Dylan did pretty well with basketball, did horrible with golf.

Man, I've been doing terrible.

I'm show. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just kind of running out of staate. Oh ludvig Ouburg though, because the Ties didn't finish top five, he end up like eight. Okay, that was as close as I got. And Dan do kesny Dokesney money line against your flyers.

Okay, congratulations, but still didn't really amount to much. Shay didn't do well in golf, did pretty well in basketball. You got Kentucky to win March Madness. I Alway State to win March Madness. For due to win March Madness. As your futures, you have Alabama to win the SEC and that didn't work out. Uh Jmu though, yeah, Jmu, sunbelt for you. That brings us to this week, and since Larry is the clubhouse leader, he joins us now.

Larry, Okay, Dan, I have Mississippi State plus one and a half against Michigan State. It's one, okay plus one. I just don't think Michigan State belongs in the tournament. I'm obviously afraid of Isel though, So I didn't bet this. I mean I took it for the show. Because it's going to be going on. But I haven't bet it yet, and I might do something at halftime, but I haven't even watched it.

Or the score down eight four right now? Yeah the wrong Michigan State.

Well, Michigan State.

Yeah, the wrong Michigan States.

Oh yes, yeah, right, we'll do somebody.

So it's MSU versus ms U. It's Michigan State.

I got about state plus one. These are all one units two by the way, Ray, Mississippi State plus one, Creighton minus the twelve against Akron, Texas Tech minus five and a half against mc States minus five. Okay, thanks McNee State plus six and a half.

Against seven seven.

But wow, it's Christmas again, thank you. And I don't know what the Illinois over against Morehead State is, but I want that.

Over one and a half.

Perfect. Then I got three games for tomorrow, but I might as well skimptin now MU plus the five and a half against Wisconsin, Marquett's over against Western Kentucky. My bookie didn't even have a line on that yet. One against me one eight one fifty eight, and Saint Mary's minus the five and a half against Grand Canyon. All right, that's what I got for you guys.

Okay, uh shay, yeah, MESSI State. I got the plus one. They're down ten to eight right now. They get their fucking lives together real quick. Oregon South Kakilaki under one thirty four, loved the Ducks. Then I got the Lobos laying two and a half against the Swingeyes, Tamu plus one against the Farmers, and then I got a parlay here, Danny, they've been doing so fucking well for.

What are you doing?

But I have a problem.

I can promise you it's a bad idea.

Yeah, no shit, parlay queen behind me. I got Whiskey horn Frogs money line it plus one thirty five, and then Drake laying the one, and then hook him laying one thirty money line against Colorado State.

Okay, the spread his monus too. I saw two and a half. I got scared.

I'm scared, period. I just got a bet on the fucking Longhorn one. Yeah, I gotta do it all.

Right, dyl alrighty dan So currently got Michigan State minus one against Mississippi State. Do kesny money line against Byu plus three six. We know why we got you two reasons, one of them being that they were nice to me last week. So I got a on a back Arizona minus twenty against long Beat.

But you said there were two reasons you gave me. One we're not allowed to talk about the other one.

You all let us rhymes with nowhere, okay? And I got Arizona minus twenty against long Beat State. People are all over long Beat State, cover the twenty love that town, hell town. I think they get just smoked by Arizona.

Well, I think they fell in love with you know, the whole fact. Dan Monson got fired and then won the.

Conference turned yeah, nothing to live for me.

As I wandered on the air, could he win his job back? Could they say, you know what? On second thought, like, let's say they beat Arizona today.

Oh man, you got it.

Could But if you're Dan Monson, do you take that?

No? Absolutely not. No. You find a younger, prettier one that can give you more kids. Yeah, what what is wrong with you? You're in this baby making mode? Oh she fucking had her period. Oh so it's over, it's over, it's done. You're never gonna get your boy, never going to get another kid period, Well not with her, but yeah.

But you know your third wife may not have been born yet.

Sha Yeah, I figure that figure my second to junior high somewhere.

Study up, girl, continue, Dylan.

I got Gonzaga minus seven against McNeese. I feel like this would be the year that Gonzaga actually makes a run because no one gives a shit about them their five seed. Okay, so I feel like that's a favorable line there, uh NC State plus five against Texas Tech, Drake minus one against Washington State, and then tomorrow Colgate plus fourteen against Baylor. Clams in my or plus two and a half against New Mexico Vermont money line against.

Five.

Here we go y.

Houston minus twenty four against Longwood and Saint Mary's Grand Canyon under one thirty one and a half. And then I've got a final four parlay Dan, these are my four teams to make it.

Nebraska, why don't just give me your money? Just give me your money.

But then this is the chance. Okay, okay, all right, Nebraska, Purdue, Arizona, Illinois all make the final plus one hundred twenty ninety.

I like that. Ods fucking Nebraska.

Is there Formula one in like ball rainhy.

Actually it's in a cool country Australia. Oh okay, I got Oscar piast three podium finished plus six hundred, Maxivers stopping fastest lap minus one fifty and Fernando Alonso podium finished plus six fifty.

Yes, if Dylan wins this final four parlay, will we ever see him again?

Yeah?

I mean I'm not gonna like.

The news motherfucker.

Yeah, I'll be back in Minneapolis.

Hell yeah, Hell you must have met some friends out there.

One hundred what is it, one hundred beautiful.

And three ugly ones?

Three ugly ones? Oh it says three ugly No, it said three.

Maybe it's one.

I thought it one hundred ugly ones and three pretty ones.

No, no, it was the opposite. But how would you feel if you work there? Oh, there are at least three you can go there? Yeah. Oh they have to know Danny. You know, when there's that kind of competition, we're talking like a team and then but do.

You think that somebody goes in and says, hey, I'd like to have one of the ugly ones day?

Absolutely? What about when you're like one of the world peg leg one, I want the weird one. I want the one with the weird eyebrow.

When you're when you're your first day on the job and they're like, your name is going to be on the marquee outside like which, Yeah.

My part of the one hundred or the three ugly?

I want the weird one that's going to be nice. That's what I want, Larry. Good personality, Yeah, the one that's got to try hard, the iPad, the funny one, like the funny stripper. That's when you take take one for the team. That's when you know it's trouble though. Now I want to fuck your lafe. Larry.

When's the last time you were in a strip club?

Oh?

God, twenty years ago?

What was the occasion?

I don't know if I can tell you. A handicapped kid in town turned like seventeen, so we left Mamath Park with him. It's confined to a wheelchair. I'm not going to mention any names, but a couple guys in town and I took him to an whatever they call it, a centerfold no, no centerfolds strip club? And was it at least twenty years ago?

Okay, how'd you do?

He did fine? I was a gentleman and an escort, that's all.

I Woh how much Larry how how much you charged Larry.

You didn't have to take him all the way there?

Yeah? Good, Hey, we'll talk about taking one for the team. Wow, handicap kid and Larry. That's nice, Larry at escort, Okay, find you on the Erotic Review leaving reviews for Larry. You know, they shut down that website, which was a fucking upfront to the first Amendment. I'll tell you that right now. What what the Eurotic review dot Com. Don't act like y'all, don't you don't know the Iraq Review, the Erotic Review fucking comy the Erotic Review where you could leave reviews for whores so you knew if they weren't a cop or not. So if you're traveling town to town and you want to, you know, get it in, you can go on the Erotic review dot com, you know, log in if you hypothetically have an account, and then theoretically and theoretically read reviews or working girls to make sure you know you get what you pay for and not law enforcement. They shut it down. The FED shut it down because they don't want us to know the truth. They want all this false advertising going on all over the internet instead.

I don't know if you need to call them whores.

They're working girls. What do you mean that's a definition of a working girl. Well, you know, I didn't call them sluts or anything. Yeah, no, no, no. First off, horror is a job description sluts or tramps or things like that's rude, and consider it. I don't talk like that.

But horror, that's just a job about hooker. I feel like that's a.

Nice job job descripture. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Yes, Marvin.

You know what, I haven't been to a strip club since body Tapping Atlanta, and we might as.

Well just go back. Yeah, I go right now, let's go to Atlanta. Okay, let Freedom ring. Okay, let's go.

Look MLK had a dream, so let's go.

Let Freedom wing some wings.

Larry, you can leave if you need to.

I am good.

I smoked.

Yeah, it's twenty eight.

There's twenty people at Rods and fifteen people at Marina Grill and Bellmart. I'm not sure which one I'm going to, but guys, good luck with your picks and have a little fun this weekend.

Okay, that's bad. Larry joining us from the Jersey Shore uh Shay and Irving podcast.

Oh yeah, well yeah, we just had one with Sam. Actually he was on Sam. He was on doing March Madness Ship That's.

Out, Little Chicken Dinner.

Little Chicken Dinner in the house. Talked about basketball and Sammy P Sammy P. He got off and I talked about conspiracy theories and you know, how to end of my place in this country, things like that. Okay, when are you coming over, Danny? I don't know what do you mean The roommate night are a good spot. It's time. She's gonna make chicken tear gone this weekend.

Okay, I'm going to go see my granddaughter this weekend. How old one? No shit, Yeah, I think that's something good stuff. Yeah, but I look happy. I just know that I know what's gonna happen. I'm going to go over there, and you're gonna say.

Danny, it's bad.

It's good, I know, but I'll get there and you'll go.

Danny, it's bad. No.

You know, if you want to leave, you can leave and I'll be like, Okay.

No, absolutely not. I've already planned this whole thing out the day you're coming over. I'm not going to get home until you get there, so you can't screw and I can fuck up exactly a minute after minute before, like, oh look, Danny's here. Holy shit, dinner better be ready. And that's it.

And then Chase sends me a picture in a text and it was a hit one of his daughters out in the yard playing with something. And he said, you know, I just want to say thanks, And I didn't even know what he was talking about. Well, he sent it to what your father in law.

Father in law, I call him Danny as well. His name is Daniel, call him Danny. And he fucking gave my kids some like fake tether ball European fucking toy or some shit. And I had to document it and say thanks. Yeah, really, it's just the dumbest shit I've ever seen. Yeah, hopefully a tennis moms don't snitch me out on that too.

So I went to the wrong Danny, Wrong Danny, wrong Danny.

Pretty much.

Well that could have been worse, been a lot worse. Uh, And your message to the tennis moms is what today.

You know, keep drinking Chardonay, take one more Xanax when your kids starts yelling at you. That'll solve everything. You're doing, great, Hunt.

I mean it does seem to work.

Yeah, works for their husband's mistresses because they can't tell me. Yeah, they're all cheating on you. That's what happens when all you do is play tennis and drink Chardona. They're all walking around on you.

Well maybe they're cheating on him.

Yeah right, they couldn't. Yes, that would be the talk of the town. Everybody would know there's Morter in that.

Okay, that's it. We've done it. We've done it for the Friday Thursday games. Yes, Marv, we're all good. We've got it in the books.

Super excited. Let's go.

We've done it. Now, have a great weekend everybody, and we'll talk to you next week on Dan Patrick Takes Again.

Dan Patrick Takes a Gamble

Dan Patrick is gambling again... well sort of. DP is living vicariously through his buddy Bad Larry, 
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