My Chinese wife is so fat she weighs wanton. The sales guy kept pushing, though I'd already said no many times, so I shouted none, net nine, but he wouldn't take no foreign answer. I helped my neighbor out with something this morning, and she said to me I could marry you. I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threatened to ruin your life in return. Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was. It was a complete guess, but I was right. Today America took down that Chinese air balloon. Good to see Joe Biden fighting inflation. Someone said my clothes were gay. I said, yeah, they came out of the closet. This morning. I asked a girl for a date and she said I had a face like the back of a boat. I didn't reply, but I gave her a stern look. It's Valentine's Day to day three years ago today. I asked my best friend, my childhood sweetheart, and the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me. All three of them said no. Scientists recently managed to weigh a rainbow. Turns out it was pretty light. The last of Us is a terrible title. It should have been called humongous Fungus among us. I'm Bob Jeffey. Stay tuned to the end of the episode for a bonus dad joke and some random thoughts from my friend Laurelie Stewart. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans, so please share these jokes with your family. Good night all, I'll be back tomorrow. Thank you. Hello everyone. Did you know that you can join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city and state you live in, and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number. HiT's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six, or check the show notes page for the number I look forward to hearing from you. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. A woman brings her ferret in for an exam today. When I went into the room. A second ferret poked its head out of her back in delighted surprise. I exclaimed, oh, you have two, and she responded, yes, I am a small business owner. Hi there, I'm Lorelie Stewart, friend of Bob's. Here are some random shower thoughts to contemplate throughout today. In limbo, setting the bar too low is the same as setting the bar too high. It's frankly amazing. More people don't fall off chair lifts. You know every phone, just not who they belong to. Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself. Native speakers of any language are the least knowledgeable about the grammatical rules of that language. I hope you enjoyed these. See you tomorrow.

My Chinese wife is so fat she weighs wanton. The sales guy kept pushing, though I'd already said no many times, so I shouted none, net nine, but he wouldn't take no foreign answer. I helped my neighbor out with something this morning, and she said to me I could marry you. I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threatened to ruin your life in return. Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was. It was a complete guess, but I was right. Today America took down that Chinese air balloon. Good to see Joe Biden fighting inflation. Someone said my clothes were gay. I said, yeah, they came out of the closet. This morning. I asked a girl for a date and she said I had a face like the back of a boat. I didn't reply, but I gave her a stern look. It's Valentine's Day to day three years ago today. I asked my best friend, my childhood sweetheart, and the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me. All three of them said no. Scientists recently managed to weigh a rainbow. Turns out it was pretty light. The last of Us is a terrible title. It should have been called humongous Fungus among us. I'm Bob Jeffey. Stay tuned to the end of the episode for a bonus dad joke and some random thoughts from my friend Laurelie Stewart. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans, so please share these jokes with your family. Good night all, I'll be back tomorrow. Thank you. Hello everyone. Did you know that you can join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city and state you live in, and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number. HiT's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six, or check the show notes page for the number I look forward to hearing from you. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. A woman brings her ferret in for an exam today. When I went into the room. A second ferret poked its head out of her back in delighted surprise. I exclaimed, oh, you have two, and she responded, yes, I am a small business owner. Hi there, I'm Lorelie Stewart, friend of Bob's. Here are some random shower thoughts to contemplate throughout today. In limbo, setting the bar too low is the same as setting the bar too high. It's frankly amazing. More people don't fall off chair lifts. You know every phone, just not who they belong to. Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself. Native speakers of any language are the least knowledgeable about the grammatical rules of that language. I hope you enjoyed these. See you tomorrow.