My landlord want to talk to me about what he calls excessive heating bills for my apartment. I told him, sure, my door is always open.

My landlord want to talk to me about what he calls excessive heating bills for my apartment. I told him, sure, my door is always open.

As a child, I was attacked by cameras. I still have flashbacks.

As a child, I was attacked by cameras. I still have flashbacks.

Today I got arrested for stealing a whole set of encyclopedias. I said to the police, wait, I can explain everything.

Today I got arrested for stealing a whole set of encyclopedias. I said to the police, wait, I can explain everything.

To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas a grizzly, and three pollars. It's the bare minimum.

To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas a grizzly, and three pollars. It's the bare minimum.

What happens if you fight a dinosaur you'd get juriskicked.

What happens if you fight a dinosaur you'd get juriskicked.

We had to assemble aus skeleton in science class today. I hid the armbone. No one found that humorous. I've been accused of plagiarism.

We had to assemble aus skeleton in science class today. I hid the armbone. No one found that humorous. I've been accused of plagiarism.

Their words, not mine.

Their words, not mine.

I would tell a joke about unemployment, but it wouldn't work.

I would tell a joke about unemployment, but it wouldn't work.

The company that makes your art sticks won't be making them any longer.

The company that makes your art sticks won't be making them any longer.

Who is the highest ranking officer of the stock market? General hysteria.

Who is the highest ranking officer of the stock market? General hysteria.

I used to be quite handy with a bike, and then I realized the pedals are for your feet. Stay tuned for more, Dad Joe, after this short intermission.

I used to be quite handy with a bike, and then I realized the pedals are for your feet. Stay tuned for more, Dad Joe, after this short intermission.

I would tell you a blunt joke, but there's no point.

I would tell you a blunt joke, but there's no point.

People always say I'm strange for writing my own tosauruses, but I tell them that's just another word for fascinating.

People always say I'm strange for writing my own tosauruses, but I tell them that's just another word for fascinating.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo a wooly jumper?

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo a wooly jumper?

I made some shoes out of money cashoes.

I made some shoes out of money cashoes.

Finland closed all its borders and consequently all racing events around the world had to be canceled. Turns out nobody could cross the finish line.

Finland closed all its borders and consequently all racing events around the world had to be canceled. Turns out nobody could cross the finish line.

Told my stubborn dog, you would get a treat if you just did one trick, but you wouldn't roll over.

Told my stubborn dog, you would get a treat if you just did one trick, but you wouldn't roll over.

Who did the fish in the ocean call when they forget their password? The KELP desk, I'm Bob Jeffy.

Who did the fish in the ocean call when they forget their password? The KELP desk, I'm Bob Jeffy.

And I'm Montgomery Jones. Stick around until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and why do us a favor and share a joke with your loved ones today. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, means and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check the sign up Lincoln the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. My wife asked me, is it just me or the cat is getting fat? Apparently it's just you was not the right answer.

And I'm Montgomery Jones. Stick around until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and why do us a favor and share a joke with your loved ones today. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, means and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check the sign up Lincoln the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. My wife asked me, is it just me or the cat is getting fat? Apparently it's just you was not the right answer.