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I tried to walk like an Egyptian... (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Published Jan 30, 2025, 12:44 AM

Daily Dad Jokes (30 Jan 2025)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.

Joke credits: UrbanCyclerPT, ilikesidehugs, Left-Distribution-13, EsotericTribble, ilikesidehugs, Jrh9000, UrIsNotAWord, TheQuietKid22, TheQuietKid22, Different-Tie-1085, zorionek0, braincelloffline, , yourchocochip, zovits, GiborDesign, bigus-_-dickus, WeekOk7253, Nearby_Arachnid9683, Easy-Cardiologist555

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Ordering a pizza of forty dollars, having it delivered five dollars, having your kids eat the whole thing before you get home sliceless.

My kid asked, are you PROLFE or pro choice? Kneeling down, I admitted I'm dad.

Did you know garbage men don't get any training. They just pick things up as they go along.

If I ever start a band, it will be called day job. So when people say, don't quit your day job, I can reply thanks. We practice a lot.

After just one week, my boss at the yogurt factory said, I'm probably not a good fit. Apparently they don't want new hires blending into the company's culture.

What do you call a man who can't stand neil?

What do you call a Frenchman who has just been attacked by a cat clawed?

What's a vampire's favorite ship a blood vessel?

Why can't a trix clap his hands? He's extinct?

Why is a sentence different from a polar bear? One has a pause at the end of its claws and the other has claws at the end of its pause.

What's an introvert's favorite meeting the one that's been canceled? Stay tuned? For more Dad jokes. After this short intermission.

I screamed at my husband, I'm leaving you for Josh. He always gets me what I need, exactly when I needed. My husband frowned and said, of course he does. He's a delivery guy.

Running out of water in a desert is the first case scenario.

The king of the forest plants got murdered by his own offspring treeson.

What generation was Forrest gump jin A.

My grandfather used to spoil me with toys and candies. Now he does the same for my son. I guess he is a great grandfather.

Saw on f three fifty today dually noted.

My friend put a dartboard on his ceiling. It made me throw up. I'm Bob Jeffy.

And I'm Montgomery Jones.

Stick around until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and why do us a favor and share a joke with your loved ones today.

Looking for the gift for Dad, We have the official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic Joke button, now available on Amazon. A massive five hundred preloaded Dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown. Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a chiropractor.