Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. How do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for a democracy? On the one hand, it is impossible. On the other hand, it could be done in about forty eight minutes. There is no process to force the Democrats to conduct a new Senate leadership vote, even though by one measure, Chuck Schumer would lose such a vote thirty seven to ten, which is what he lost the vote in his own party in his suicidal decision to enable Musk and Trump to proceed unchecked as they rape the government and the laws and the budget and the nation for the six months. Democratic Party rules only mandate leadership elections with the start of each new Congress. The last one was December third, The one before that was December eighth, twenty twenty two. The next one would be the third, eighth or tenth of December twenty twenty six. The only way there would be a new Democratic Party leadership election would be if Schumer resigned or is forced to. On the other hand, if the thirty six Democrats and the independent who broke with Schumer in this catastrophe were to simply form their own caucus and elect their own leader just to pick a name at random. Chris Murphy of Connecticut Chuck Schumer would be minority leader in name only. The risk of this, of course, is a total fracture of the Democratic Party inside the Senate and out of it, and the prospect of an idiot like Fetterman or an invisible senator like Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On the other hand, the only advantage of having forty seven non Trumpists instead of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty seven non Trumpists is that you could do things like stop Kloture on the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution bill. Except your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader doesn't do that and instead collaborates with the party of the insane dictator. If he's not going to use forty seven votes, what's the difference if he only has thirty seven votes or if his successor only has thirty seven votes. Here is the process as I understand it. Create the new Democrats or Democrats two point zero, or the new Zoo Review or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter. Just position them as the actual minority in the Senate, they have the second most votes. Point out to sh Schumer, he is now leader of the third party in the Senate, and if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you will not let him join your new caucus, and you won't let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one, is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment. On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is the best person to lead your caucus in this moment, Senator Murphy. Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC, would you consider that role? Murphy? I don't think anybody's having that conversation right now right now, but the American people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the GOP just to get some of their own ideas into legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress. The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to thirty three. It went from thirty three to fifty nine to sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides, these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are, they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done, if they explain this in public loudly, immediately. Discretion is the better part of valor, or at least fear is the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled, or he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship the books, or print the books or write the books. But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the Musk indemnification and continuing Resolution Bill. Why wouldn't he be stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage. Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck Schumer live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros at sixth and I in DC. Wednesday night, live at the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has been unexpectedly canceled. There will be no Chuck Schumer and there will be no refunds. I hope now three days after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump, I hope soon to be former leader one way or the other. Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood where we are, and in particular way, where they are here is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There is only one path through his insanity towards restoring America as a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as a place not to be ashamed of. It is to destroy Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him. His last remaining human emotion is vengeance. And nothing you do, no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, we'll register with him. He wants to destroy you, He wants to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN. He wants to destroy you, guys.

Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. How do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for a democracy? On the one hand, it is impossible. On the other hand, it could be done in about forty eight minutes. There is no process to force the Democrats to conduct a new Senate leadership vote, even though by one measure, Chuck Schumer would lose such a vote thirty seven to ten, which is what he lost the vote in his own party in his suicidal decision to enable Musk and Trump to proceed unchecked as they rape the government and the laws and the budget and the nation for the six months. Democratic Party rules only mandate leadership elections with the start of each new Congress. The last one was December third, The one before that was December eighth, twenty twenty two. The next one would be the third, eighth or tenth of December twenty twenty six. The only way there would be a new Democratic Party leadership election would be if Schumer resigned or is forced to. On the other hand, if the thirty six Democrats and the independent who broke with Schumer in this catastrophe were to simply form their own caucus and elect their own leader just to pick a name at random. Chris Murphy of Connecticut Chuck Schumer would be minority leader in name only. The risk of this, of course, is a total fracture of the Democratic Party inside the Senate and out of it, and the prospect of an idiot like Fetterman or an invisible senator like Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On the other hand, the only advantage of having forty seven non Trumpists instead of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty seven non Trumpists is that you could do things like stop Kloture on the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution bill. Except your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader doesn't do that and instead collaborates with the party of the insane dictator. If he's not going to use forty seven votes, what's the difference if he only has thirty seven votes or if his successor only has thirty seven votes. Here is the process as I understand it. Create the new Democrats or Democrats two point zero, or the new Zoo Review or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter. Just position them as the actual minority in the Senate, they have the second most votes. Point out to sh Schumer, he is now leader of the third party in the Senate, and if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you will not let him join your new caucus, and you won't let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one, is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment. On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is the best person to lead your caucus in this moment, Senator Murphy. Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC, would you consider that role? Murphy? I don't think anybody's having that conversation right now right now, but the American people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the GOP just to get some of their own ideas into legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress. The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to thirty three. It went from thirty three to fifty nine to sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides, these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are, they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done, if they explain this in public loudly, immediately. Discretion is the better part of valor, or at least fear is the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled, or he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship the books, or print the books or write the books. But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the Musk indemnification and continuing Resolution Bill. Why wouldn't he be stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage. Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck Schumer live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros at sixth and I in DC. Wednesday night, live at the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has been unexpectedly canceled. There will be no Chuck Schumer and there will be no refunds. I hope now three days after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump, I hope soon to be former leader one way or the other. Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood where we are, and in particular way, where they are here is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There is only one path through his insanity towards restoring America as a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as a place not to be ashamed of. It is to destroy Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him. His last remaining human emotion is vengeance. And nothing you do, no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, we'll register with him. He wants to destroy you, He wants to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN. He wants to destroy you, guys.

And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really corrupt and they're illegal.

And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really corrupt and they're illegal.

What they do is illegal.

What they do is illegal.

So hey, CNN, how's letting that pimp Scott Jennings take over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator? Trump basically told the DOJ Friday afternoon, arrest CNN, good thing, Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero. He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event on trust in the media on the first of this month. I think we should draw our eyes about the loss of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded now. Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell Actually, I take that last part back. All of us, Trump included, can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid enough to go out in public tonight or on the rest of his tour, because a man in his position can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me. I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they were mad at him last week, but they're not that mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck, we are that mad at you. I don't think you should resign a Senate Democratic leader. I think you should resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war. It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant, and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his criminally incorrect vote on this, to hide the intention of his vote to be General George B. McClellan when we need General ulysses ask goddamned grant and to sell out the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Powell's Central Library, four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha, And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the right thing took quote guts un quote and courage the big tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling bill, and so much more is coming. We should all work together on that very dangerous situation. A non pass would be a country destroyer. Approval will lead us to new heights again, really good and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could lead to something big for the USA, a whole new direction and beginning exclamation point. Does it worry you at all? Chuck that? Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator Trump's lawyers told a federal court he has an inherent right under Article to to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise on what he and he alone says, our national security grounds. And does it worry you? Chuck that? Twelve hours before he praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours before that, Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish.

So hey, CNN, how's letting that pimp Scott Jennings take over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator? Trump basically told the DOJ Friday afternoon, arrest CNN, good thing, Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero. He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event on trust in the media on the first of this month. I think we should draw our eyes about the loss of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded now. Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell Actually, I take that last part back. All of us, Trump included, can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid enough to go out in public tonight or on the rest of his tour, because a man in his position can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me. I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they were mad at him last week, but they're not that mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck, we are that mad at you. I don't think you should resign a Senate Democratic leader. I think you should resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war. It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant, and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his criminally incorrect vote on this, to hide the intention of his vote to be General George B. McClellan when we need General ulysses ask goddamned grant and to sell out the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Powell's Central Library, four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha, And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the right thing took quote guts un quote and courage the big tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling bill, and so much more is coming. We should all work together on that very dangerous situation. A non pass would be a country destroyer. Approval will lead us to new heights again, really good and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could lead to something big for the USA, a whole new direction and beginning exclamation point. Does it worry you at all? Chuck that? Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator Trump's lawyers told a federal court he has an inherent right under Article to to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise on what he and he alone says, our national security grounds. And does it worry you? Chuck that? Twelve hours before he praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours before that, Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish.

And Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned.

And Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned.

You know, he's become a Palestinian. He is to be Jewish.

You know, he's become a Palestinian. He is to be Jewish.

He's not Jewish anymore.

He's not Jewish anymore.

He's a Palestinian. Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna do something like that again, not as long as he thinks he owns you because you did something he desperately needed you to do, and you were the only one who could do it, and so now he might as well own you, or I don't know to port you. You know what you do when somebody says that about you, chuck, You ask for a meeting with him, a photo op, and when the cameras are all rolling, then you kick him in the balls and you take the consequences. You don't make a deal with him the next day, selling out the people who put you in office. Politicos sometimes uses anonymous sources irresponsibly, but I'm not sure that's the case here. They often also look through the wrong end of the telescope, and I'm not sure that's the case here either. Quote one Democratic senator granted anonymity to share private discussions, said conversations are starting about whether Schumer should be their leader going forward. There's a lot of concern about the failure to have a plan and execute on it, the senator said. It's not like you couldn't figure out that this is what was going to happen behind closed doors. Even some longtime Schumer allies are raising the specter that his time has passed. Quote. Biden is gone, Pelosi is in the background. Schumer is the last one left from that older generation, said one New York based donor who is a long I'm supporter of a leader. I do worry that the older generation thinks twenty twenty four was just about inflation. But no, the game has changed. It's not left wing or moderate. It's everyone now saying the game is different now. But he was set up to battle in two thousand and six, and we're a long way from two thousand and six. Or, as the Hollywood writer director Mike Samonek wrote, much more succinctly, I don't want to say the Schumer optics are bad, but Gavin Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There are two other polling notes from those polls. Yesterday. The CNN one asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote best reflects the core values of the party. Aoc Is at the top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie at eight, a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Krocket at four, Obama at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure he'll be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after he does his hoops bracket Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is at two percent. No One the choice no One is at thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No One has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent is tied with Elyssa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't murder millions of people, their public sector workers did, and even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding. And then, in response to that imploding, the White House itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you try to cut social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid you die politically speaking. Quote, it's no longer simmer r resistance. People are effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation, and then comes the the coup de lack of grass. Quote. Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto. These are our voters. Unquote. Set a Republican operative close to the White House. How is that not the quote on the lips of every Democrat in this country today? Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto. Set a Republican operative close to the White House. These are our voters. How is it not the quote on every Democrat's lip today? Two words Chuck Schumer or maybe the quote from that little TOWRP. Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer, actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound up having to be the front man for the first assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions and now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is no longer welcome here because Rasoul gave a speech Friday in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy in the US and abroad as well. So what's your complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy in the US, and so is Musk, And so Marco, are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way, a race baiting politician who hates America and is no longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is damn well, gonna have to also of interest here. I'm under the weather, so this will be kind of short today. But the worst person's list is the never ending feast. And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC dinner for reporters, the tone, I swear to God, ah, there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex. Now that's next urseless countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead on countdown when I'm sick. I always think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever I was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprising outcome. So my face stuck to the side of the train and they had to help me break free from the window. Like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not. There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily roundup of the misgrints, morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. Here are the nominees, the Bronze Worse Potigo. I know I praised them earlier. Like Trump, this only lasts three to four minutes. That's as much time as it's going to buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because they were born somewhere else and were told JA I was sick. I'm going to leave that in for evidence illegal deportations US citizens being locked up because no, I really did leave that in because they were born somewhere else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk still eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and the lead item in Sunday's Politico playbook newsletter The grid Iron Dinner Saturday night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner, despite the name, that's a journalism event, and to be fair, Politico is about about Washington and about journalism about Washington. I know that's not always evident from what they write, especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do you think once, just once, you could lead with the earth shattering news like if Schumer is going to be deposed, or if there are planes full of people who have a legal right to be here who have been illegally deported by the insane dictator of the United States, instead of a few words about the e FFing grid Iron Dinner. Twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner. The first twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'll get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, Politico, twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner and how they didn't toast the President. I will confess I am sufficiently under the weather that when I first read they toasted the president, my mood cheered briefly, Where's the photo of that Holy crap. I also realized that for a couple of years I have been mistakenly telling people that it was at the grid Iron Dinner that Dick Cheney as vice president made that joke about me that I still love. It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner. It was at the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes, if it's a Saturday, there is another Journalismalism dinner in DC. Since you asked, I'll just well, I was going to read the way adwe covered it, but you know the clip is on YouTube, so in case you don't know it.

He's a Palestinian. Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna do something like that again, not as long as he thinks he owns you because you did something he desperately needed you to do, and you were the only one who could do it, and so now he might as well own you, or I don't know to port you. You know what you do when somebody says that about you, chuck, You ask for a meeting with him, a photo op, and when the cameras are all rolling, then you kick him in the balls and you take the consequences. You don't make a deal with him the next day, selling out the people who put you in office. Politicos sometimes uses anonymous sources irresponsibly, but I'm not sure that's the case here. They often also look through the wrong end of the telescope, and I'm not sure that's the case here either. Quote one Democratic senator granted anonymity to share private discussions, said conversations are starting about whether Schumer should be their leader going forward. There's a lot of concern about the failure to have a plan and execute on it, the senator said. It's not like you couldn't figure out that this is what was going to happen behind closed doors. Even some longtime Schumer allies are raising the specter that his time has passed. Quote. Biden is gone, Pelosi is in the background. Schumer is the last one left from that older generation, said one New York based donor who is a long I'm supporter of a leader. I do worry that the older generation thinks twenty twenty four was just about inflation. But no, the game has changed. It's not left wing or moderate. It's everyone now saying the game is different now. But he was set up to battle in two thousand and six, and we're a long way from two thousand and six. Or, as the Hollywood writer director Mike Samonek wrote, much more succinctly, I don't want to say the Schumer optics are bad, but Gavin Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There are two other polling notes from those polls. Yesterday. The CNN one asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote best reflects the core values of the party. Aoc Is at the top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie at eight, a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Krocket at four, Obama at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure he'll be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after he does his hoops bracket Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is at two percent. No One the choice no One is at thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No One has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent is tied with Elyssa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't murder millions of people, their public sector workers did, and even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding. And then, in response to that imploding, the White House itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you try to cut social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid you die politically speaking. Quote, it's no longer simmer r resistance. People are effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation, and then comes the the coup de lack of grass. Quote. Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto. These are our voters. Unquote. Set a Republican operative close to the White House. How is that not the quote on the lips of every Democrat in this country today? Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto. Set a Republican operative close to the White House. These are our voters. How is it not the quote on every Democrat's lip today? Two words Chuck Schumer or maybe the quote from that little TOWRP. Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer, actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound up having to be the front man for the first assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions and now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is no longer welcome here because Rasoul gave a speech Friday in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy in the US and abroad as well. So what's your complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy in the US, and so is Musk, And so Marco, are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way, a race baiting politician who hates America and is no longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is damn well, gonna have to also of interest here. I'm under the weather, so this will be kind of short today. But the worst person's list is the never ending feast. And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC dinner for reporters, the tone, I swear to God, ah, there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex. Now that's next urseless countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead on countdown when I'm sick. I always think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever I was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprising outcome. So my face stuck to the side of the train and they had to help me break free from the window. Like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not. There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily roundup of the misgrints, morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. Here are the nominees, the Bronze Worse Potigo. I know I praised them earlier. Like Trump, this only lasts three to four minutes. That's as much time as it's going to buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because they were born somewhere else and were told JA I was sick. I'm going to leave that in for evidence illegal deportations US citizens being locked up because no, I really did leave that in because they were born somewhere else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk still eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and the lead item in Sunday's Politico playbook newsletter The grid Iron Dinner Saturday night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner, despite the name, that's a journalism event, and to be fair, Politico is about about Washington and about journalism about Washington. I know that's not always evident from what they write, especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do you think once, just once, you could lead with the earth shattering news like if Schumer is going to be deposed, or if there are planes full of people who have a legal right to be here who have been illegally deported by the insane dictator of the United States, instead of a few words about the e FFing grid Iron Dinner. Twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner. The first twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'll get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, Politico, twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner and how they didn't toast the President. I will confess I am sufficiently under the weather that when I first read they toasted the president, my mood cheered briefly, Where's the photo of that Holy crap. I also realized that for a couple of years I have been mistakenly telling people that it was at the grid Iron Dinner that Dick Cheney as vice president made that joke about me that I still love. It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner. It was at the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes, if it's a Saturday, there is another Journalismalism dinner in DC. Since you asked, I'll just well, I was going to read the way adwe covered it, but you know the clip is on YouTube, so in case you don't know it.

Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock a one to eighty only half as tedious as the regular News. Among his other credits, Moe used to host a TV show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program, only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Overman. Keith's not here tonight to savor my company.

Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock a one to eighty only half as tedious as the regular News. Among his other credits, Moe used to host a TV show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program, only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Overman. Keith's not here tonight to savor my company.

But we roared now. I'm Jack Tarynian I's a joke about Keith Olderman. Anyway, The point of this was the first twenty six paragraphs on a Dinner like That about jokes like that. The first twenty six man not the like six paragraphs of headlines and then twenty six paragraphs about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty six paragraphs underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap all the reporters off the streets, the last thing every Washington correspondent will file is a piece about what their friends were wearing at the time they were disappeared. The runner up worser Alina Habba, Official Administration nit wit. I've said it so many times, you can say it with me. The future and survival of democracy depends less on our strenuous efforts to preserve it than it does on the stupidity of those who intend to destroy it. That is being tested now. But as long as we have the Secretary of knit wittedness, Alna Habba, I believe we will prevail after we get rid of Schumer. Alina Haba responding to something or another about about the attempts to stop human extortion and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming, I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap. I don't know who they were claiming. There was a trafficker and Alena Haba writes, thank you, let's pray for the many victims of human extortion as a result of the last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer emoji and this note, this community note. Alina Habas supported the Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking. There's a reason you go into parking lot law, and that's because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to stretch my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But the winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naive butclely bukill As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal deportation of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration camp in a third party country, El Salvador. Planes were in the air already, and so the administration decided not to turn the planes around and announced it was not defying the court, and announced it was defying the court. Marco Rubio, the little Shit secretary of Little Shit, boasted about it as the president of Al Salvador. It's just a brand name. There's not really a president, Like we don't really have a president. We have an insane dictator. Naib Bukel, president of Al Salvador, screenshoted the headline from the New York Post about the judge blocking Trump from invoking the Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote oopsie too late and added the crying laughing emoji because somewhere along the line emoji became fascist. That's President asshole of l Salvador. Yeah, keep laughing. See you at the World Court at the Hague, buddy in twenty twenty nine, unless your own people take care of their problem. Five years ago, this alleged president wanted approval from the Salvadoran Legislative Assembly for a one hundred and nine million dollar loan for his territorial control plan. So to deliver the message, President Bukake or whatever his name is, sent forty soldiers over to the Legislative Assembly to say hello. In twenty nineteen, President Bukela introduced that plan, the Territorial Control Plan, to reduce the homicide rate. It was reduced only actor alleged the US Department of State. Bukell negotiated with the gangs in Al Salvador to reduce the homicide rate. Hey do me a solid kill fewer people okay, and you know who alleged that were the State Department under which President alleged he did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's new horror at the State Department. Marco, he's Besti's with this guy, Marco Rubio and alleged President Bukelly of Al Salvador. What happened to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again? Oh oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit this high note in the world. To the number one story on the Countdown and things I promise not to tell. And this is anything but an important career story. But I was reminded of it recently and I laughed like hell, so I thought maybe you should too. I haven't seen all of them in this country, but to my mind, the most underrated of American rivers is the one I grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rap because it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have been unused and rotting for half a century now. But further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on. This is particularly true during a stretch in which the western side of the river is fronted by a series of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated, carved as the river took shape millions of years ago, but always looking like they had been carefully designed for esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York, instead of a series of parks or even private palaces. Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided, and so the train tracks were laid out next to the river because that made it even easier to get stuff to and from the big city. And damn the views or the ability to appreciate life on the water or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back into New York City, sit on the right side on the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or more of the most magnificent view inable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer, or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember thinking of all this that one day early in nineteen eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecelini had been my physician since I was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and he'd been the town doctor since about nineteen forty four, and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of. And as I finished my last growth spurt at the end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain, no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take one on them every day for the next week. It's called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back als lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know, don't operate any heavy machinery, do you operate heavy machinery when you do those sportscasts. Yars Keith had a patient try to run a processor at the copper factory while he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers. Leonardo ben Venuti. You know any of the ben Venuties used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was him every time, the ben Venuti's on Williams Street, the Smith's on william Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway, back to the muscle relaxes, I don't think I had ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown of Hastings on Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled, I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street, and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district. It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor, Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right into the train station. It was January. He was about twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to make its forty minute trip into the city and my job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United pres International. I took the pill what were they called again, muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo, Or was that some guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me? I worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson, and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was, and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt two hands, one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Buddy, Hey, Hey, hey, hey, buddy. I fought to open my eyes and to avoid the bad breath now enveloping my face. As I finally came around, I realized it was the conductor who had just taken my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact, only half of the lights were on in the train. The palisades were long gone, not the Hudson nor the palisades, but darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused. Am I shake it off? You gotta get out of here. This is as far as we go. Train's going out of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked under thirty seven straight for the rest of the day. Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to understand what had happened and where I was, and I began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me. I could not move the right side of my face. What was worse, I could barely feel the right side of my face. Good God, what had happened to me? Was this like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the night before, only as it finally comes back to her, it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend, and the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as she realized only when she got up and saw her reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night, but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was that what had happened to me? No? Actually, as I discovered when my struggle finally freed my face from the train window to which it had stuck, because I had drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes, because I had taken the muscle relaxant, because I had taken an honest empty stomach, because I knew nothing about muscle relaxans, because I was out cold with my mouth open, pressed up against the train window on a twelve degree day, and I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it was not quite half a century in an insane asylum, but certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me half a century to pull all of this together. I stood up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I mumbled back pain new drug. And as I banked from one side of the doorway to the other and bounced out onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only take him at night? Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc, my back is better, But I left half the skin on my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from Hastings to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened to another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded me of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and I don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward Cecilini was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties. He used to tell me to come visit him at his practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I was up from the city visiting my folks, Well, Josh shoot the braise, and he'd tell me about something about treating Umberto Flambini in the Army Hospital in nineteen forty four. And he'd asked me if I went to school with Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old. He never stopped learning. Great man, and did he howl at the muscle relaxing story. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you. Oh well, I just take him at Naida. I had another patient do that nineteen seventeen. He's just all right. Anyway. Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK. So I came in to my folks house the day before, I took the folks out to dinner, stayed over in the spare room to leave from their house to the airport in the morning, and at some point in the middle of the night, I began to have chest pains. Literally the top of my ribs hurt and my breathing was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but something is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I head up to doctor Cecilini as soon as he's opened up shop and he's eighty five now, and he gives me the big welcome as usual, and I tell him the story and he says, oh, yeah, I think it's nothing to worry about, but we we should get this on the record, just in case your movie company gets pissy with you about canceling dad. Happened to another friend of mine, patient Francesco Lola Bridget. He had a cameo and Moby Dick in nineteen fifty six. He had cancel He wanted it soon. How about you get your dad. Just drive you up to the hospital in Dobbs Ferry. I meet you there and oh like half an hour, hour and a half something like that. Let me just run a couple of tests on you. When we got you out. There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He stares off into space for a second, and he looks back at me. He says, I got I got an idea a little simpler. I have to go there later. I have to drop off some paperwork on some other guy, Frisco Gaspoci No Frisco. Anyway, Just give me a second. I'll call him. I'll tell him what coming on. Just you just hop in the car with me and go out in the waiting room. I'm gonna call him about Frisco. And I got to worry about doctor patient confidentiality. But about Frisco Gospooci, Sa you know, I gotta worry about that, so I don't want you listening to that. So now ed cecil and he's driving me to Dobb's Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking about how much he defines the idea of a really dedicated doctor, and how every other patient he's ever mentioned to me, I've never heard of one of them. And we get to the hospital. I don't know. We talked about baseball or my folks or something, and he drives right up to the er and we walk in like it's nothing, and he waves to the admitting nurse, Hi, Sheila, how's your soign Shila? And he points at me. He says, that's the guy, and he says, like it was absolutely the way they do it at every hospital. You can go all his info from him. After we run this little check on all right, We go right into the room and two nurses are in there and they say hi, and one of them tells me to take off my shirt. The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood. In Cecillini reads the start of the EKJ print out, and he smiles at me and says, I'm sorry I scammed you. But the way you described your chest pains, I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had had a heart attack. Last thing I want to do is tell you that just in case you had had a heart attack. And then he had another one that happened to another patient of mine, Bernardo Petrosante. You know, Bernardo, Oh, let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. Let me just wait on the blood gases, double check that, go out there and do the paperwork for shill at the desk. I think it's just a muscle problem. The son of a gun had not only made sure I didn't know it might be serious, it might be heart attack serious. But he conned me into going to the emergency room without alarming me or even letting me know that was his plan along. And as I'm brushing the shaved hairs off my chest and putting my shirt on, I say thanks, and then it hits me, Hey, another thing, Doc, Bernardo Pietra Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these other patients you've mentioned all these years, they don't really exist, do they? And he says, oh, got me about that. I learned a long time ago. Make sure your patient never feels like they're the first idiot to have done this to themselves. Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your folks. Might look in and see how your dad's doing. If he's got a moment. I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Once again, my apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling that great, but you'd never know it from my performance here today. And you know why that is because I'm tough. Also because you can edit out all the bad stuff. Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged, produced and performed most of our music and still I'd rather go live. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtsey of ESPN Inc. Other music arranged and performed by no horns allowed. My announcer today is my friend Kenny Maine, who does not appear curtisyvsp inc. Everything else was as ever my fault. That's countdown for today, just one four hundred and six days until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame brained dictatorship, unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again. We'll see as always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember, impeach Trump. Impeach Trump won't work now, but it will win the Democrats the midterms if there are midterms, and there is the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You thirty six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

But we roared now. I'm Jack Tarynian I's a joke about Keith Olderman. Anyway, The point of this was the first twenty six paragraphs on a Dinner like That about jokes like that. The first twenty six man not the like six paragraphs of headlines and then twenty six paragraphs about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty six paragraphs underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap all the reporters off the streets, the last thing every Washington correspondent will file is a piece about what their friends were wearing at the time they were disappeared. The runner up worser Alina Habba, Official Administration nit wit. I've said it so many times, you can say it with me. The future and survival of democracy depends less on our strenuous efforts to preserve it than it does on the stupidity of those who intend to destroy it. That is being tested now. But as long as we have the Secretary of knit wittedness, Alna Habba, I believe we will prevail after we get rid of Schumer. Alina Haba responding to something or another about about the attempts to stop human extortion and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming, I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap. I don't know who they were claiming. There was a trafficker and Alena Haba writes, thank you, let's pray for the many victims of human extortion as a result of the last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer emoji and this note, this community note. Alina Habas supported the Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking. There's a reason you go into parking lot law, and that's because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to stretch my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But the winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naive butclely bukill As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal deportation of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration camp in a third party country, El Salvador. Planes were in the air already, and so the administration decided not to turn the planes around and announced it was not defying the court, and announced it was defying the court. Marco Rubio, the little Shit secretary of Little Shit, boasted about it as the president of Al Salvador. It's just a brand name. There's not really a president, Like we don't really have a president. We have an insane dictator. Naib Bukel, president of Al Salvador, screenshoted the headline from the New York Post about the judge blocking Trump from invoking the Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote oopsie too late and added the crying laughing emoji because somewhere along the line emoji became fascist. That's President asshole of l Salvador. Yeah, keep laughing. See you at the World Court at the Hague, buddy in twenty twenty nine, unless your own people take care of their problem. Five years ago, this alleged president wanted approval from the Salvadoran Legislative Assembly for a one hundred and nine million dollar loan for his territorial control plan. So to deliver the message, President Bukake or whatever his name is, sent forty soldiers over to the Legislative Assembly to say hello. In twenty nineteen, President Bukela introduced that plan, the Territorial Control Plan, to reduce the homicide rate. It was reduced only actor alleged the US Department of State. Bukell negotiated with the gangs in Al Salvador to reduce the homicide rate. Hey do me a solid kill fewer people okay, and you know who alleged that were the State Department under which President alleged he did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's new horror at the State Department. Marco, he's Besti's with this guy, Marco Rubio and alleged President Bukelly of Al Salvador. What happened to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again? Oh oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit this high note in the world. To the number one story on the Countdown and things I promise not to tell. And this is anything but an important career story. But I was reminded of it recently and I laughed like hell, so I thought maybe you should too. I haven't seen all of them in this country, but to my mind, the most underrated of American rivers is the one I grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rap because it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have been unused and rotting for half a century now. But further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on. This is particularly true during a stretch in which the western side of the river is fronted by a series of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated, carved as the river took shape millions of years ago, but always looking like they had been carefully designed for esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York, instead of a series of parks or even private palaces. Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided, and so the train tracks were laid out next to the river because that made it even easier to get stuff to and from the big city. And damn the views or the ability to appreciate life on the water or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back into New York City, sit on the right side on the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or more of the most magnificent view inable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer, or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember thinking of all this that one day early in nineteen eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecelini had been my physician since I was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and he'd been the town doctor since about nineteen forty four, and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of. And as I finished my last growth spurt at the end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain, no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take one on them every day for the next week. It's called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back als lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know, don't operate any heavy machinery, do you operate heavy machinery when you do those sportscasts. Yars Keith had a patient try to run a processor at the copper factory while he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers. Leonardo ben Venuti. You know any of the ben Venuties used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was him every time, the ben Venuti's on Williams Street, the Smith's on william Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway, back to the muscle relaxes, I don't think I had ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown of Hastings on Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled, I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street, and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district. It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor, Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right into the train station. It was January. He was about twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to make its forty minute trip into the city and my job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United pres International. I took the pill what were they called again, muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo, Or was that some guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me? I worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson, and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was, and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt two hands, one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Buddy, Hey, Hey, hey, hey, buddy. I fought to open my eyes and to avoid the bad breath now enveloping my face. As I finally came around, I realized it was the conductor who had just taken my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact, only half of the lights were on in the train. The palisades were long gone, not the Hudson nor the palisades, but darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused. Am I shake it off? You gotta get out of here. This is as far as we go. Train's going out of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked under thirty seven straight for the rest of the day. Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to understand what had happened and where I was, and I began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me. I could not move the right side of my face. What was worse, I could barely feel the right side of my face. Good God, what had happened to me? Was this like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the night before, only as it finally comes back to her, it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend, and the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as she realized only when she got up and saw her reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night, but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was that what had happened to me? No? Actually, as I discovered when my struggle finally freed my face from the train window to which it had stuck, because I had drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes, because I had taken the muscle relaxant, because I had taken an honest empty stomach, because I knew nothing about muscle relaxans, because I was out cold with my mouth open, pressed up against the train window on a twelve degree day, and I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it was not quite half a century in an insane asylum, but certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me half a century to pull all of this together. I stood up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I mumbled back pain new drug. And as I banked from one side of the doorway to the other and bounced out onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only take him at night? Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc, my back is better, But I left half the skin on my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from Hastings to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened to another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded me of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and I don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward Cecilini was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties. He used to tell me to come visit him at his practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I was up from the city visiting my folks, Well, Josh shoot the braise, and he'd tell me about something about treating Umberto Flambini in the Army Hospital in nineteen forty four. And he'd asked me if I went to school with Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old. He never stopped learning. Great man, and did he howl at the muscle relaxing story. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you. Oh well, I just take him at Naida. I had another patient do that nineteen seventeen. He's just all right. Anyway. Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK. So I came in to my folks house the day before, I took the folks out to dinner, stayed over in the spare room to leave from their house to the airport in the morning, and at some point in the middle of the night, I began to have chest pains. Literally the top of my ribs hurt and my breathing was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but something is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I head up to doctor Cecilini as soon as he's opened up shop and he's eighty five now, and he gives me the big welcome as usual, and I tell him the story and he says, oh, yeah, I think it's nothing to worry about, but we we should get this on the record, just in case your movie company gets pissy with you about canceling dad. Happened to another friend of mine, patient Francesco Lola Bridget. He had a cameo and Moby Dick in nineteen fifty six. He had cancel He wanted it soon. How about you get your dad. Just drive you up to the hospital in Dobbs Ferry. I meet you there and oh like half an hour, hour and a half something like that. Let me just run a couple of tests on you. When we got you out. There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He stares off into space for a second, and he looks back at me. He says, I got I got an idea a little simpler. I have to go there later. I have to drop off some paperwork on some other guy, Frisco Gaspoci No Frisco. Anyway, Just give me a second. I'll call him. I'll tell him what coming on. Just you just hop in the car with me and go out in the waiting room. I'm gonna call him about Frisco. And I got to worry about doctor patient confidentiality. But about Frisco Gospooci, Sa you know, I gotta worry about that, so I don't want you listening to that. So now ed cecil and he's driving me to Dobb's Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking about how much he defines the idea of a really dedicated doctor, and how every other patient he's ever mentioned to me, I've never heard of one of them. And we get to the hospital. I don't know. We talked about baseball or my folks or something, and he drives right up to the er and we walk in like it's nothing, and he waves to the admitting nurse, Hi, Sheila, how's your soign Shila? And he points at me. He says, that's the guy, and he says, like it was absolutely the way they do it at every hospital. You can go all his info from him. After we run this little check on all right, We go right into the room and two nurses are in there and they say hi, and one of them tells me to take off my shirt. The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood. In Cecillini reads the start of the EKJ print out, and he smiles at me and says, I'm sorry I scammed you. But the way you described your chest pains, I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had had a heart attack. Last thing I want to do is tell you that just in case you had had a heart attack. And then he had another one that happened to another patient of mine, Bernardo Petrosante. You know, Bernardo, Oh, let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. Let me just wait on the blood gases, double check that, go out there and do the paperwork for shill at the desk. I think it's just a muscle problem. The son of a gun had not only made sure I didn't know it might be serious, it might be heart attack serious. But he conned me into going to the emergency room without alarming me or even letting me know that was his plan along. And as I'm brushing the shaved hairs off my chest and putting my shirt on, I say thanks, and then it hits me, Hey, another thing, Doc, Bernardo Pietra Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these other patients you've mentioned all these years, they don't really exist, do they? And he says, oh, got me about that. I learned a long time ago. Make sure your patient never feels like they're the first idiot to have done this to themselves. Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your folks. Might look in and see how your dad's doing. If he's got a moment. I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Once again, my apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling that great, but you'd never know it from my performance here today. And you know why that is because I'm tough. Also because you can edit out all the bad stuff. Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged, produced and performed most of our music and still I'd rather go live. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtsey of ESPN Inc. Other music arranged and performed by no horns allowed. My announcer today is my friend Kenny Maine, who does not appear curtisyvsp inc. Everything else was as ever my fault. That's countdown for today, just one four hundred and six days until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame brained dictatorship, unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again. We'll see as always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember, impeach Trump. Impeach Trump won't work now, but it will win the Democrats the midterms if there are midterms, and there is the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You thirty six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.