SEASON 2 EPISODE 65: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: The likeliest explanation is that she said it in order to fool the cultists to think that there is no chance Trump could actually go to JAIL in Washington, Florida, New York, or Atlanta (or to fool Trump himself) but Trump's noted parking lot attorney Alina Habba has gone on NewsMax and insisted that she tells anybody who panics about the prospect that Trump will be arrested that "He's protected by Secret Service. Period. He's protected by Secret Service, number one...Number two, he did nothing wrong...Secret Service will always protect President Trump. That's the truth. They have to. Wherever he is. But it's not even something we think about." The NewsMax host then literally dares a judge to try to jail him. Did they literally present a passive-aggressive threat? Or just carefully phrased one to reassure the idiots that Trump, who is at great risk in four different courtrooms, is not at risk at all?

DEMENTIA J. TRUMP SCOREBOARD: He has gotten the day wrong again (and this time it's on videotape) AND gotten the year wrong - twice - while the time stamps of his posts indicate he's being plagued by insomnia. We can't ignore these little-for-Trump things. The bar has to be: if Biden did this, what would The Times, The Post, and the Networks say about him? Remember the polling: if both are thought too old, Biden wins in a landslide.

AND YOUR JOHNSON MAY NOT LAST: The 5th-String Speaker continues to pile up L's and the creepy factor continues to mount. Not only did he try to tie aid to Israel to cutting IRS investigation of wealthy tax cheats, but it turns out that as late as seven years ago he demanded that every candidate for office be subjected to a religious purity test - exactly the opposite of what the constitution says.

B-Block (25:03) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Senator Josh Hawley humiliates himself while trying to brand Holocaust survivor DHS Secretary Mayorkas as an antisemite. Wait, there are POPULAR Senators and Governors? And woo hoo, Elon Musk proves that you are safe in his Cybertruck if you are attacked by a squadron of medieval French archery. (30:29) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: My ex Kyrsten Sinema, followed by my ex Laura Ingraham, followed by... Dean Phillips. Who I don't even know. But - Harlan Crow DOES know him.

C-Block (36:40) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's nerve-wracking enough to be handed, at age 20, the home phone number of a very famous athlete and be told he's expecting your call and you have to interview him. When it gets interesting is when he picks up the phone and pretends to be a woman.