"Alcohol was the only relationship I could count on."

That’s how Kristi Tanner described her relationship with alcohol, which led to two DUIs in three days over the Fourth of July weekend. It also led to a host of other problems. In this deeply emotional and radically vulnerable conversation, Kristi—also known as the Mocktail Mommy on Instagram—talks about addiction, motherhood, mental health, and why she decided to open Wisconsin’s very first non-alcoholic bottle shop.

We dive into Kristi’s chaotic journey—from partying through college and motherhood, to blacking out at a neighborhood party with a newborn, to being arrested on the side of a highway in Indiana. But more importantly, we explore what happened after that: how Kristi rebuilt her life, learned to grieve the loss of alcohol as a “friend,” and now lives a life that’s not just sober, but happily so.

This episode is for anyone who's ever whispered, “I don’t know if I can do this”—and anyone who loves someone who has.

We explore:

—Growing up around normalized drinking and how that shaped Kristi’s views

—The drinking culture in Wisconsin, and why Kristi calls it “ground zero”

—How becoming a mom amplified her alcohol use

—What led to two DUIs in 72 hours and her emotional retelling of the story

—The grief of letting go of alcohol as a "friend"

—Choosing to stay sober after divorce

—Building a life of autonomy, joy, and purpose in sobriety

—Starting “Mocktail Mommy” and founding the first NA bottle shop in Wisconsin

Follow Kristi: https://www.instagram.com/mocktailmommy 

Visit her store: sobersocialshop.com 

Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/

Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com.

Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.

"Alcohol was the only relationship I could count on."
That&rsquo;s how Kristi Tanner described her relationship with alcohol, which led to two DUIs in three days over the Fourth of July weekend. It also led to a host of other problems. In this deeply emotional and radically vulnerable conversation, Kristi&mdash;also known as the Mocktail Mommy on Instagram&mdash;talks about addiction, motherhood, mental health, and why she decided to open Wisconsin&rsquo;s very first non-alcoholic bottle shop.
We dive into Kristi&rsquo;s chaotic journey&mdash;from partying through college and motherhood, to blacking out at a neighborhood party with a newborn, to being arrested on the side of a highway in Indiana. But more importantly, we explore what happened after that: how Kristi rebuilt her life, learned to grieve the loss of alcohol as a &ldquo;friend,&rdquo; and now lives a life that&rsquo;s not just sober, but happily so.
This episode is for anyone who's ever whispered, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know if I can do this&rdquo;&mdash;and anyone who loves someone who has.
We explore:
&mdash;Growing up around normalized drinking and how that shaped Kristi&rsquo;s views
&mdash;The drinking culture in Wisconsin, and why Kristi calls it &ldquo;ground zero&rdquo;
&mdash;How becoming a mom amplified her alcohol use
&mdash;What led to two DUIs in 72 hours and her emotional retelling of the story
&mdash;The grief of letting go of alcohol as a "friend"
&mdash;Choosing to stay sober after divorce
&mdash;Building a life of autonomy, joy, and purpose in sobriety
&mdash;Starting &ldquo;Mocktail Mommy&rdquo; and founding the first NA bottle shop in Wisconsin
Follow Kristi: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mocktailmommy">https://www.instagram.com/mocktailmommy</a>&nbsp;
Visit her store: <a href="https://sobersocialshop.com/" data-start="2263" data-end="2313">sobersocialshop.com</a>&nbsp;
Follow Jon: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/</a>
Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: <a href="https://www.christianalcoholic.com">www.christianalcoholic.com</a>.
Watch this episode and get daily motivation: <a href="https://www.theveritasdaily.com">www.theveritasdaily.com</a>.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit christianalcoholic.com for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit <a href="http://christianalcoholic.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://christianalcoholic.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1747239325727000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1G-752Q-1dyjq6GN5gt7xw">christianalcoholic.com</a> for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic" is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts.

Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

The Mom with Two DUIs in 72 Hours (Kristi Tanner): Episode 6

“I got prideful. I was like, ‘I’m never going to drink again.’ And then all of a sudden… it looked really good.”

This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of his life, it wasn’t chaos at first—it was relief. Alcohol became a way to cope with pressure, stress, and the weight of adulthood, even as his faith was growing.

Over time, that coping turned into dependence. Jeramy talks honestly about knowing God was calling him to stop and still choosing alcohol because it felt easier. What started as occasional drinking escalated into daily use, morning vodka, and a slow unraveling that included job loss, health warnings, and deep strain on his marriage. Eventually, everything came to a head when Jeramy admitted what he could no longer deny: he couldn’t stop on his own.

What followed was a dramatic turning point. Jeramy describes a moment where his desire for alcohol disappeared entirely—something he’s careful not to present as a formula or a promise. For years, sobriety came without craving. But freedom didn’t mean the work was finished. Slowly, pride crept in. After five years sober, Jeramy found himself believing he was beyond the danger zone—until the old pull returned and drinking “looked really good again.”

This time, the turning point wasn’t dramatic—it was honest. Jeramy shares how naming his desire out loud before acting on it changed everything, exposing unresolved family pain and leading to difficult but necessary boundaries. His story isn’t about perfection or permanence. It’s about humility, obedience, and the kind of freedom in Christ that keeps inviting deeper truth long after sobriety begins.

We Explore:

— Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home shaped by alcoholism
— How alcohol slowly became a coping mechanism rather than a pleasure
— Living as a Christian while choosing alcohol despite conviction
— The escalation into daily drinking and morning vodka
— Job loss, medical warnings, and the moment of surrender
— Experiencing radical freedom from desire—and why that wasn’t the end
— Why some recovery structures felt like a different form of bondage
— How pride quietly reopened the door after years sober
— The power of naming desire out loud before acting on it
— Setting painful family boundaries for the sake of safety
— What freedom in Christ looks like amid ongoing sanctification

Follow me: @jonseidl

Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.

&ldquo;I got prideful. I was like, &lsquo;I&rsquo;m never going to drink again.&rsquo; And then all of a sudden&hellip; it looked really good.&rdquo;
This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of his life, it wasn&rsquo;t chaos at first&mdash;it was relief. Alcohol became a way to cope with pressure, stress, and the weight of adulthood, even as his faith was growing.
Over time, that coping turned into dependence. Jeramy talks honestly about knowing God was calling him to stop and still choosing alcohol because it felt easier. What started as occasional drinking escalated into daily use, morning vodka, and a slow unraveling that included job loss, health warnings, and deep strain on his marriage. Eventually, everything came to a head when Jeramy admitted what he could no longer deny: he couldn&rsquo;t stop on his own.
What followed was a dramatic turning point. Jeramy describes a moment where his desire for alcohol disappeared entirely&mdash;something he&rsquo;s careful not to present as a formula or a promise. For years, sobriety came without craving. But freedom didn&rsquo;t mean the work was finished. Slowly, pride crept in. After five years sober, Jeramy found himself believing he was beyond the danger zone&mdash;until the old pull returned and drinking &ldquo;looked really good again.&rdquo;
This time, the turning point wasn&rsquo;t dramatic&mdash;it was honest. Jeramy shares how naming his desire out loud before acting on it changed everything, exposing unresolved family pain and leading to difficult but necessary boundaries. His story isn&rsquo;t about perfection or permanence. It&rsquo;s about humility, obedience, and the kind of freedom in Christ that keeps inviting deeper truth long after sobriety begins.
We Explore:
&mdash; Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home shaped by alcoholism &mdash; How alcohol slowly became a coping mechanism rather than a pleasure &mdash; Living as a Christian while choosing alcohol despite conviction &mdash; The escalation into daily drinking and morning vodka &mdash; Job loss, medical warnings, and the moment of surrender &mdash; Experiencing radical freedom from desire&mdash;and why that wasn&rsquo;t the end &mdash; Why some recovery structures felt like a different form of bondage &mdash; How pride quietly reopened the door after years sober &mdash; The power of naming desire out loud before acting on it &mdash; Setting painful family boundaries for the sake of safety &mdash; What freedom in Christ looks like amid ongoing sanctification
Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a>
Order my new book, <a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a>.

He Relapsed After 5 Years of Sobriety: Jeramy Houghton on Obedience, Pride, and Honest Surrender

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/39ab645e-5353-4cb8-ae42-b3d1017ef12b/transcript

“Alcohol is a poison disguised as a remedy.”

That’s the wisdom Ericka Andersen brings to this conversation—wisdom that developed after years of a quiet struggle that slowly took ahold of her and wouldn't let go. Like many evangelicals nowadays, she assumed drinking was neutral, normal, and largely harmless. But over time, she began to notice a widening gap between what alcohol promised and what it actually delivered.

In this episode, Ericka shares how drinking slowly moved from social habit to something she felt unable to control—even though she knew early on that something was off but kept overriding that inner voice. She opens up about hiding alcohol, waking up in the middle of the night consumed by compulsion, and living with the tension of appearing fine on the outside while unraveling internally.

Ericka also names the loneliness of not seeing stories like hers reflected in church spaces, where alcohol is increasingly treated as a non-issue or even a virtue and especially harms women. Rather than calling for rules or ultimatums, though, she makes a compelling case for curiosity—asking better questions about why we drink, what it costs us, and who it quietly harms.

This conversation is for anyone who doesn’t look out of control but knows something is wrong; for those who don’t resonate with “rock bottom” narratives but still feel unsettled; and for Christians who are ready to examine cultural assumptions and get curious.

We Explore:

— How alcohol functions as a socially acceptable coping mechanism
— Why early internal warnings are so easy to ignore
— The gap between outward control and inner compulsion
— How secrecy quietly reshapes drinking habits
— Why many Christians don’t see their stories reflected in church culture
— The myth that a problem has to look extreme to be real
— How alcohol promises relief but delivers diminishing returns
— Why asking better questions matters more than forcing behavior change
— The difference between legal and harmless
— What freedom begins to look like when denial ends

Ericka's new book: Freely Sober

Follow Ericka: @ericka_andersen

Ericka's writing: https://erickaandersen.substack.com 

Follow me: @jonseidl

Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.

&ldquo;Alcohol is a poison disguised as a remedy.&rdquo;
That&rsquo;s the wisdom Ericka Andersen brings to this conversation&mdash;wisdom that developed after years of a quiet struggle that slowly took ahold of her and wouldn't let go. Like many evangelicals nowadays, she assumed drinking was neutral, normal, and largely harmless. But over time, she began to notice a widening gap between what alcohol promised and what it actually delivered.
In this episode, Ericka shares how drinking slowly moved from social habit to something she felt unable to control&mdash;even though she knew early on that something was off but kept overriding that inner voice. She opens up about hiding alcohol, waking up in the middle of the night consumed by compulsion, and living with the tension of appearing fine on the outside while unraveling internally.
Ericka also names the loneliness of not seeing stories like hers reflected in church spaces, where alcohol is increasingly treated as a non-issue or even a virtue and especially harms women. Rather than calling for rules or ultimatums, though, she makes a compelling case for curiosity&mdash;asking better questions about why we drink, what it costs us, and who it quietly harms.
This conversation is for anyone who doesn&rsquo;t look out of control but knows something is wrong; for those who don&rsquo;t resonate with &ldquo;rock bottom&rdquo; narratives but still feel unsettled; and for Christians who are ready to examine cultural assumptions and get curious.
We Explore:
&mdash; How alcohol functions as a socially acceptable coping mechanism &mdash; Why early internal warnings are so easy to ignore &mdash; The gap between outward control and inner compulsion &mdash; How secrecy quietly reshapes drinking habits &mdash; Why many Christians don&rsquo;t see their stories reflected in church culture &mdash; The myth that a problem has to look extreme to be real &mdash; How alcohol promises relief but delivers diminishing returns &mdash; Why asking better questions matters more than forcing behavior change &mdash; The difference between legal and harmless &mdash; What freedom begins to look like when denial ends
Ericka's new book: <a href="https://amzn.to/4jt84GV">Freely Sober</a>
Follow Ericka: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ericka_andersen">@ericka_andersen</a>
Ericka's writing: <a href="https://erickaandersen.substack.com">https://erickaandersen.substack.com</a>&nbsp;
Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a>
Order my new book, <a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a>.

A Poison Disguised as a Remedy: Ericka Andersen on Christian Drinking Culture and How It Harms Women

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/6dc80a19-310b-4c03-ac38-b3ca00f38c9a/transcript

“When I numbed anxiety and uncertainty, I also numbed beauty and joy.”

That moment of clarity from Ericka Graham came after years of abusing prescription drugs, when God met her in a beautiful way involving a bumble bee and a flower. The point? Substances numb the bad, sure, but they also numb the good.

But addiction isn't the whole of Ericka's story. From a young age, she also struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder—compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and scrupulosity, the form of OCD that focuses on faith and religious rituals.

In this episode, Ericka shares how OCD and scrupulosity quietly trained her nervous system to look for relief through control. She explains how religious fear, perfectionism, and an all-or-nothing mindset made it difficult to tell the difference between faith and compulsion—and how those same patterns eventually showed up in disordered eating and prescription medication abuse. None of it looked alarming from the outside. She was high-functioning, responsible, and sincere. But internally, anxiety was running the show.

Ericka also reflects on the night in an emergency room that her denial cracked, why recovery didn’t begin with willpower, and how learning to sit with uncertainty became a crucial part of healing from both addiction and OCD-driven control.

This conversation is for anyone who lives with intrusive thoughts, spiritual anxiety, or the exhausting need to get it “right,” and for those who’ve learned to cope quietly rather than ask for help. Ericka’s story is a reminder that numbness is never selective—and that real healing often begins when we stop managing ourselves and allow God to meet us in our fear instead of our certainty.

We explore: 

– How anxiety quietly fueled Ericka’s need for control
– The early signs of compulsive behavior that were easy to overlook
– Why high-functioning coping often delays honesty
– How numbing anxiety also numbs joy, beauty, and connection
– The progression from disordered eating to prescription drug abuse
– Why denial can coexist with sincerity and faith
– The moment that finally cracked her self-deception
– The difference between willpower and surrender in recovery
– How recovery reshaped her experience of God
– Why feeling again was both terrifying and necessary

Ericka's podcast: Curiously

Follow Ericka: @mrserickagraham

Follow me: @jonseidl

Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.

&ldquo;When I numbed anxiety and uncertainty, I also numbed beauty and joy.&rdquo;
That moment of clarity from Ericka Graham came after years of abusing prescription drugs, when God met her in a beautiful way involving a bumble bee and a flower. The point? Substances numb the bad, sure, but they also numb the good.
But addiction isn't the whole of Ericka's story. From a young age, she also struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder&mdash;compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and scrupulosity, the form of OCD that focuses on faith and religious rituals.
In this episode, Ericka shares how OCD and scrupulosity quietly trained her nervous system to look for relief through control. She explains how religious fear, perfectionism, and an all-or-nothing mindset made it difficult to tell the difference between faith and compulsion&mdash;and how those same patterns eventually showed up in disordered eating and prescription medication abuse. None of it looked alarming from the outside. She was high-functioning, responsible, and sincere. But internally, anxiety was running the show.
Ericka also reflects on the night in an emergency room that her denial cracked, why recovery didn&rsquo;t begin with willpower, and how learning to sit with uncertainty became a crucial part of healing from both addiction and OCD-driven control.
This conversation is for anyone who lives with intrusive thoughts, spiritual anxiety, or the exhausting need to get it &ldquo;right,&rdquo; and for those who&rsquo;ve learned to cope quietly rather than ask for help. Ericka&rsquo;s story is a reminder that numbness is never selective&mdash;and that real healing often begins when we stop managing ourselves and allow God to meet us in our fear instead of our certainty.
We explore:&nbsp;
&ndash; How anxiety quietly fueled Ericka&rsquo;s need for control &ndash; The early signs of compulsive behavior that were easy to overlook &ndash; Why high-functioning coping often delays honesty &ndash; How numbing anxiety also numbs joy, beauty, and connection &ndash; The progression from disordered eating to prescription drug abuse &ndash; Why denial can coexist with sincerity and faith &ndash; The moment that finally cracked her self-deception &ndash; The difference between willpower and surrender in recovery &ndash; How recovery reshaped her experience of God &ndash; Why feeling again was both terrifying and necessary
Ericka's podcast: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/curiously-with-ericka-graham/id1698590656">Curiously</a>
Follow Ericka: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mrserickagraham">@mrserickagraham</a>
Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a>
Order my new book, <a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a>.

High-Functioning Anxiety and the Hidden Cost of Numbing Pain: Ericka Graham on OCD, Scrupulosity, and What Addictions Really Cost Us

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/023a934e-0a14-445c-be4f-b3c400127ecc/transcript

The Mom with Two DUIs in 72 Hours (Kristi Tanner): Episode 6

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