“I didn’t want to be sober. I wanted to be free. True freedom is only found in Jesus Christ.”

Ian Faulkner looked like he had everything going for him. He grew up in the Church, became one of the top-ranked soccer players in his area, and even played professionally for the Los Angeles Lazers. From the outside, it was the kind of story many people chase: fame, recognition, success, and the promise of more.

But underneath it all, something was off.

See, soccer wasn’t just something Ian loved, it had become his identity. And when that identity was eventually taken from him through injury, everything underneath it started to surface. The drinking. The drugs. The isolation. The questions he couldn’t answer.

“Why am I alone in a hotel room corner weeping? God, why?”

In this conversation, Ian walks through the unraveling that followed—from chasing the highs of the world to spiraling into addiction, multiple DUIs, and moments where his life nearly ended. He even opens up about childhood trauma he worked so hard to suppress. But what makes his story so powerful isn’t just how far he fell, it’s what God did in the midst of it.

What resulted wasn't sobriety. In fact, Ian came to realize that sobriety was actually quite empty by itself. He wanted more. He needed more. He needed Jesus.

And that changed everything.

Today, Ian is a pastor leading a growing, Gospel-centered recovery ministry in California called Restoration Recovery. He helps others find the same freedom he was once so desperate for, and lives by a powerful mantra: "When we recover loudly in Christ, we contribute to keeping others from dying quietly without him." His story is a reminder that addiction doesn't follow a neat path, and that recovery is about more than just quitting something. It’s about what—or who—you’re ultimately living for.

Help keep this podcast going: Make a tax-deductible donation here

We explore:

— How success, discipline, and even good things like sports and church can become false identities
— Ian’s journey from professional soccer and chasing recognition to addiction and isolation
— The role injury played in exposing deeper heart issues and accelerating his downward spiral
— Why addiction isn’t about the substance—but about what we’re trying to escape
— The moment everything collapsed, including multiple DUIs and near-death experiences
— How unresolved trauma, including childhood abuse, shaped his patterns of behavior
— The difference between sobriety and true freedom—and why that distinction matters
— What full surrender to Jesus actually looked like in Ian’s life
— How God used recovery, jail, and brokenness to prepare him for ministry
— The origin and meaning behind “recovering loudly” and why it challenges traditional recovery models
— How Gospel-centered recovery leads to deeper transformation than behavior modification alone
— Why finding your “why” is essential to lasting change and healing

Follow Restoration Recovery: @restoratioinrecovery.mhc
Watch Restoration Recovery messages here
Get addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic

&ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t want to be sober. I wanted to be free. True freedom is only found in Jesus Christ.&rdquo;
Ian Faulkner looked like he had everything going for him. He grew up in the Church, became one of the top-ranked soccer players in his area, and even played professionally for the Los Angeles Lazers. From the outside, it was the kind of story many people chase: fame, recognition, success, and the promise of more.
But underneath it all, something was off.
See, soccer wasn&rsquo;t just something Ian loved, it had become his identity. And when that identity was eventually taken from him through injury, everything underneath it started to surface. The drinking. The drugs. The isolation. The questions he couldn&rsquo;t answer.
&ldquo;Why am I alone in a hotel room corner weeping? God, why?&rdquo;
In this conversation, Ian walks through the unraveling that followed&mdash;from chasing the highs of the world to spiraling into addiction, multiple DUIs, and moments where his life nearly ended. He even opens up about childhood trauma he worked so hard to suppress. But what makes his story so powerful isn&rsquo;t just how far he fell, it&rsquo;s what God did in the midst of it.
What resulted wasn't sobriety. In fact, Ian came to realize that sobriety was actually quite empty by itself. He wanted more. He needed more. He needed Jesus.
And that changed everything.
Today, Ian is a pastor leading a growing, Gospel-centered recovery ministry in California called Restoration Recovery. He helps others find the same freedom he was once so desperate for, and lives by a powerful mantra: "When we recover loudly in Christ, we contribute to keeping others from dying quietly without him." His story is a reminder that addiction doesn't follow a neat path, and that recovery is about more than just quitting something. It&rsquo;s about what&mdash;or who&mdash;you&rsquo;re ultimately living for.
Help keep this podcast going: <a href="https://www.veritasrecovery.org/donate">Make a tax-deductible donation here</a>
We explore:
&mdash; How success, discipline, and even good things like sports and church can become false identities &mdash; Ian&rsquo;s journey from professional soccer and chasing recognition to addiction and isolation &mdash; The role injury played in exposing deeper heart issues and accelerating his downward spiral &mdash; Why addiction isn&rsquo;t about the substance&mdash;but about what we&rsquo;re trying to escape &mdash; The moment everything collapsed, including multiple DUIs and near-death experiences &mdash; How unresolved trauma, including childhood abuse, shaped his patterns of behavior &mdash; The difference between sobriety and true freedom&mdash;and why that distinction matters &mdash; What full surrender to Jesus actually looked like in Ian&rsquo;s life &mdash; How God used recovery, jail, and brokenness to prepare him for ministry &mdash; The origin and meaning behind &ldquo;recovering loudly&rdquo; and why it challenges traditional recovery models &mdash; How Gospel-centered recovery leads to deeper transformation than behavior modification alone &mdash; Why finding your &ldquo;why&rdquo; is essential to lasting change and healing Follow Restoration Recovery: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/restorationrecovery.mhc/">@restoratioinrecovery.mhc</a> Watch Restoration Recovery messages <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@RestorationRecovery">here</a> Get addiction recovery resources and help: <a href="https://www.veritasrecovery.org">veritasrecovery.org</a> Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a> Order my new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a>

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit christianalcoholic.com for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit <a href="http://christianalcoholic.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://christianalcoholic.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1747239325727000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1G-752Q-1dyjq6GN5gt7xw">christianalcoholic.com</a> for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic" is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts.

Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

From Pro Soccer Player to four DUIs and Nearly Losing Everything: Ian Faulkner's Incredible Journey of Restoration 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/18bbe0cb-ae0f-47a7-aaef-b43b00c3f070/transcript