“Suffering brings you to the end of yourself and you have to decide—do I love the Giver or do I love the gifts the most?”

That realization didn’t come easily for Kimberly Phinney.

It came after years of chasing the kinds of addictions people rarely call addictions at all—perfectionism, workaholism, people-pleasing, and the relentless drive to prove your worth. And it came after chronic illness stripped away the very things she once used to define herself and led to an unraveling.

For Kimberly, that unraveling eventually led to a nervous breakdown in her twenties. But the story didn’t stop there.

Years later she was diagnosed with severe stage-four endometriosis. What followed were multiple surgeries, catastrophic complications, sepsis, months of being bedridden, and the long process of learning how to walk again.

In a short span of time, the things that once shaped her identity—productivity, professional success, physical strength, reputation—were stripped away. What remained forced her to confront a deeper question: when suffering removes the gifts we’ve relied on, do we still love the Giver?

In this episode, Kimberly shares how perfectionism, anxiety, and eating disorders quietly shaped her early life, how chronic illness dismantled the idols she didn’t know she had built, and how suffering became the place where her faith was both tested and deepened.

If you’ve ever wrestled with perfectionism, self-reliance, the "shiny" addictions as Kimberly calls them, chronic illness, shame, or the tension between faith and suffering, this conversation is an honest look at what it means to keep trusting God when he's all you have to hold on to.

Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here.

We explore:

— The “shiny addictions” that often hide behind success, including perfectionism, workaholism, people-pleasing, and control
— How trauma, anxiety, and identity wounds can quietly build toward a mental health crisis
— Why socially acceptable addictions can be just as destructive as substance addictions
— The devastating physical toll of severe stage-four endometriosis and chronic illness
— What happens when suffering strips away productivity, independence, and reputation
— The connection between shame, secrecy, and healing
— How chronic illness exposed the idols Kimberly did not realize she had built
— Why suffering can deepen faith instead of destroying it
— What it means to love the Giver more than the gifts

Get Kimberley's books: Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground
The website: The Way Back to Ourselves
Kimberly's Substack newsletter: My Way Back
Follow her on Instagram
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible:https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0

&ldquo;Suffering brings you to the end of yourself and you have to decide&mdash;do I love the Giver or do I love the gifts the most?&rdquo;
That realization didn&rsquo;t come easily for Kimberly Phinney.
It came after years of chasing the kinds of addictions people rarely call addictions at all&mdash;perfectionism, workaholism, people-pleasing, and the relentless drive to prove your worth. And it came after chronic illness stripped away the very things she once used to define herself and led to an unraveling.
For Kimberly, that unraveling eventually led to a nervous breakdown in her twenties. But the story didn&rsquo;t stop there.
Years later she was diagnosed with severe stage-four endometriosis. What followed were multiple surgeries, catastrophic complications, sepsis, months of being bedridden, and the long process of learning how to walk again.
In a short span of time, the things that once shaped her identity&mdash;productivity, professional success, physical strength, reputation&mdash;were stripped away. What remained forced her to confront a deeper question: when suffering removes the gifts we&rsquo;ve relied on, do we still love the Giver?
In this episode, Kimberly shares how perfectionism, anxiety, and eating disorders quietly shaped her early life, how chronic illness dismantled the idols she didn&rsquo;t know she had built, and how suffering became the place where her faith was both tested and deepened.
If you&rsquo;ve ever wrestled with perfectionism, self-reliance, the "shiny" addictions as Kimberly calls them, chronic illness, shame, or the tension between faith and suffering, this conversation is an honest look at what it means to keep trusting God when he's all you have to hold on to.
Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">here</a>.
We explore:
&mdash; The &ldquo;shiny addictions&rdquo; that often hide behind success, including perfectionism, workaholism, people-pleasing, and control &mdash; How trauma, anxiety, and identity wounds can quietly build toward a mental health crisis &mdash; Why socially acceptable addictions can be just as destructive as substance addictions &mdash; The devastating physical toll of severe stage-four endometriosis and chronic illness &mdash; What happens when suffering strips away productivity, independence, and reputation &mdash; The connection between shame, secrecy, and healing &mdash; How chronic illness exposed the idols Kimberly did not realize she had built &mdash; Why suffering can deepen faith instead of destroying it &mdash; What it means to love the Giver more than the gifts
Get Kimberley's books: <a href="https://amzn.to/4unZb6m">Of Wings and Dirt</a> and <a href="https://amzn.to/4b4mGtT">Exalted Ground</a> The website: <a href="https://www.thewayback2ourselves.com">The Way Back to Ourselves</a> Kimberly's Substack newsletter: <a href="https://thewayback2ourselves.substack.com">My Way Back</a> Follow her on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thewayback2ourselves">Instagram</a> Follow me:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a> Order my new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a> Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">h</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">ttp</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">s://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0</a>

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit christianalcoholic.com for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit <a href="http://christianalcoholic.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://christianalcoholic.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1747239325727000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1G-752Q-1dyjq6GN5gt7xw">christianalcoholic.com</a> for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic" is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts.

Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

Chronic Illness, Suffering, and the Idols We Don’t Recognize: Kimberly Phinney's Story of Perseverance

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