Grief doesn't run to the timetable you were handed. A year after her mum Emmie died, Kerry Milligan thought she was managing well. Then she went back to Tasmania with a small plastic container of her mother's ashes, and found out that year one isn't a finish line.

Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.

For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah and Kerry go back to Tasmania: where Kerry was born, where her ancestors are buried, and where she took one of the three small portions of her mother's ashes she'd kept. Kerry describes being followed around Battery Point by the voices of her dead ancestors, letting Emmie go into the Derwent from the back of the MONA ferry, and the panic that caught up with her underground at MONA soon after. From there: grief as a wave rather than a staircase, the triggers nobody warns you about, and how a kidney stone at 6:45 on a Sunday morning turned a conversation about her mother's death into a conversation about her own.

This Week's Hack: Your advance care directive is no use in a drawer. Lodge a copy with your GP so it's on your medical record, and make sure the person who'd actually drive you to emergency has one too — because when it happens, you'll leave the house barely dressed.

Listener Letter: Send this to the friend who's somewhere past the first anniversary and has quietly decided they should be over it by now. You don't need to write anything. Just send it.

Topics covered in this episode:
- What the one-year mark after a parent's death actually feels like
- Grief as a wave: why it doesn't leave, it just changes shape
- Scattering a parent's ashes, and choosing where and when
- Grief triggers, and why the body seems to remember anniversaries
- Advance care directives, and who speaks for you in an emergency
- Facing your own mortality once your parent is gone
- Sorting through a parent's belongings — and the things you still can't touch

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.

Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

Grief doesn't run to the timetable you were handed. A year after her mum Emmie died, Kerry Milligan thought she was managing well. Then she went back to Tasmania with a small plastic container of her mother's ashes, and found out that year one isn't a finish line.
Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community. SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode: The Conversation: Sarah and Kerry go back to Tasmania: where Kerry was born, where her ancestors are buried, and where she took one of the three small portions of her mother's ashes she'd kept. Kerry describes being followed around Battery Point by the voices of her dead ancestors, letting Emmie go into the Derwent from the back of the MONA ferry, and the panic that caught up with her underground at MONA soon after. From there: grief as a wave rather than a staircase, the triggers nobody warns you about, and how a kidney stone at 6:45 on a Sunday morning turned a conversation about her mother's death into a conversation about her own.
This Week's Hack: Your advance care directive is no use in a drawer. Lodge a copy with your GP so it's on your medical record, and make sure the person who'd actually drive you to emergency has one too &mdash; because when it happens, you'll leave the house barely dressed.
Listener Letter: Send this to the friend who's somewhere past the first anniversary and has quietly decided they should be over it by now. You don't need to write anything. Just send it.
Topics covered in this episode: - What the one-year mark after a parent's death actually feels like - Grief as a wave: why it doesn't leave, it just changes shape - Scattering a parent's ashes, and choosing where and when - Grief triggers, and why the body seems to remember anniversaries - Advance care directives, and who speaks for you in an emergency - Facing your own mortality once your parent is gone - Sorting through a parent's belongings &mdash; and the things you still can't touch
Meet the regular Clubbers: Melissa Reader &mdash; CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis. Jo Lamble &mdash; Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics. Dr Ginni Mansberg &mdash; GP and women's health advocate. Dr Stephanie Ward &mdash; Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain. Kerry Milligan &mdash; Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services:&nbsp;<a href="australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich">australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich</a>.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at <a href="https://vera.guide">https://vera.guide</a>.
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at <a href="putthekettleon.com.au">putthekettleon.com.au</a>.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at&nbsp;<a href="vera.guide/faces">vera.guide/faces</a>.
Credits: Sarah Macdonald &ndash; Host + Executive Producer Melissa Reader &ndash; Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber Justin McArthur &ndash; Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (<a href="https://pzinner.com.au">https://pzinner.com.au</a>) Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich &mdash; hear more at <a href="https://seanwayland.com">https://seanwayland.com</a>

The Sandwich Generation finally gets the conversation we deserve.

Club Sandwich is the community for those caring for ageing parents while juggling work, kids, relationships, and sanity. This is your tribe when family doesn't get it - or just isn't enough.

Hosted by veteran broadcaster Sarah Macdonald, Club Sandwich features clinical psychologists instead of life coaches, GPs instead of gratitude journals, and honest conversations about the relief-guilt paradox nobody else will touch.

Episodes include:
🔧 This Week's Hack - Actionable strategy you can use today
💌 Listener Letter - Real questions from Clubbers like you
🔥 Hot Mess Moments - Stories that make you feel less alone

🛠️ What We're Using - Resources and tools that actually help

Meet the regular Clubbers:

Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera aged care platform (vera.guide) and expert on Australia's ageing crisis and system failures.

Dr. Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt, family dynamics, and the impossible decisions when every option has a cost.

Dr. Ginny Mansberg - GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight about what caregiving does to your body.

Dr. Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician and consulting expert for ABC's Old People's Home for 4 Year Olds, helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis—and when it doesn't.

Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox Australia star bringing humor, honesty, and hard-won perspective to impossible family situations.

No bubble baths. No bullshit. Just expert-led, community-first support for people who don't need another thing to feel bad about not doing.

Club Sandwich is more than a podcast - it's a movement. Join our private Facebook community, attend live events across Australia, and access free downloadable resources with every episode.

New episodes every Thursday.

Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe.

Topics covered: Caregiver guilt, sibling conflict, dementia care, financial planning, legal issues, family boundaries, burnout prevention, end-of-life decisions, self-care that actually works, navigating aged care systems, and the emotional toll of caring for ageing parents.

Credits

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life — so you don't have to do it alone.

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer

Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber

Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer

Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group

Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com

The Sandwich Generation finally gets the conversation we deserve.
Club Sandwich is the community for those caring for ageing parents while juggling work, kids, relationships, and sanity. This is your tribe when family doesn't get it - or just isn't enough.
Hosted by veteran broadcaster Sarah Macdonald, Club Sandwich features clinical psychologists instead of life coaches, GPs instead of gratitude journals, and honest conversations about the relief-guilt paradox nobody else will touch.
Episodes include: 🔧 This Week's Hack - Actionable strategy you can use today 💌 Listener Letter - Real questions from Clubbers like you 🔥 Hot Mess Moments - Stories that make you feel less alone
🛠️ What We're Using - Resources and tools that actually help
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera aged care platform (vera.guide) and expert on Australia's ageing crisis and system failures.
Dr. Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt, family dynamics, and the impossible decisions when every option has a cost.
Dr. Ginny Mansberg - GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight about what caregiving does to your body.
Dr. Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician and consulting expert for ABC's Old People's Home for 4 Year Olds, helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis&mdash;and when it doesn't.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox Australia star bringing humor, honesty, and hard-won perspective to impossible family situations.
No bubble baths. No bullshit. Just expert-led, community-first support for people who don't need another thing to feel bad about not doing.
Club Sandwich is more than a podcast - it's a movement. Join our private Facebook community, attend live events across Australia, and access free downloadable resources with every episode.
New episodes every Thursday.
Visit <a href="https://clubsandwich.community/">clubsandwich.community</a> to join the tribe.
Topics covered: Caregiver guilt, sibling conflict, dementia care, financial planning, legal issues, family boundaries, burnout prevention, end-of-life decisions, self-care that actually works, navigating aged care systems, and the emotional toll of caring for ageing parents.
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by <a href="https://vera.guide/">Vera</a>, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life &mdash; so you don't have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by <a href="https://www.fountainmediagroup.com.au/">Fountain Media Group</a>
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at&nbsp;<a href="https://www.seanwayland.com/">seanwayland.com</a>

The community for maxed-out midlifers caring for ageing parents and everything else. Hosted by Sarah Macdonald. Clinical psychologists instead of life coaches. Real support instead of wellness BS. You've got them. We've got you.

Club Sandwich

Everyone treats the first anniversary as a finish line. A year on from her mother Emmie's death, Kerry Milligan had the candle lit and the chats going and thought she was managing well — until a trip to Hobart with Sarah, a small plastic container of ashes and a wrong turn underneath an art gallery knocked her sideways. Kerry and Sarah Macdonald talk about grief as a wave rather than a staircase, the triggers nobody warns you about, and what happens when losing your mother swings you around to face your own mortality. Plus the question they asked Kerry at the emergency desk that she couldn't answer — and the ten seconds of admin that would have fixed it.