CJ may experiences his first "GET OFF MY LAWN" moment involving his AirBNB neighbors.  Matt tells the story of discovering a two story tall beehive in a family member's home. And Spenny is a piggy. 

Get rid of your crap unless its bubble tea bobbas because those are indestructible. 

CJ took his pup Pickle to a doggy race this weekend, and today he explains the lengths he went to get her trained and ready to beat the competition. Also, the Internet is excited about pre-peed jeans.  Matt wants to run an experiment on his kids. And Spenny learns about ancient Chinese pipes. 

CJ has been excited to see who rents the AirBNB house directly next door to his place. Some bachelor and bachelorette parties have been by, which is exciting. But more importantly - this place has a pool AND a hot tub. Now the countdown begins to see how long CJ can wait before sneaking over and taking a dip. Also, Matt teaches the gang about the difference between wolves and dogs.  CJ upsets a coworker with a fake urine prank. And Spenny loves spaghetti. 

Today the gang learns about Father Justin, an AI priest that the Catholic church hired to give advice to its followers. Unfortunately, Justin was demoted after making a few mistakes at the workplace.  Also, CJ feels like he needs more discipline in his life.  Matt tells the story of the very first vape. And Spenny wonders if Gatorade is bad for babies. 

CJ is concerned that he's not interested enough in trying out new things anymore. Matt and Spenny comfort him with suggestions. Also, it's National Bucket List Day and the gang has their list of things they'd like to do before kicking said bucket. And Matt has discovered some methods to help save money while grocery shopping. 

The gang discusses their ideal picnic for Picnic Day. Surprisingly, CJ doesn't include a bucket of parmesan cheese as a suggestion. Matt teaches us about forming important memories. CJ doesn't like that living in your van is trending again.  And Spenny.

Today is Earth Day, so the gang discusses recycling and eating all your leftovers.  CJ stole a bucket of parmesan from a work function.  Matt passed out early on 4/20 this year. And Spenny!

How did humans get here? Today CJ and Matt explore this question on today's Weird or Wired. 

Matt introduces the gang to a Chuck Norris film from 1996 that's so bad that it's actually fun to watch. CJ does his best impressions of South Africans, Johnny Depp, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Australians. And Spenny learns about life. Also, much to his dismay, Matt learns that noise cancelling headphones are bad for your brain. And CJ teaches us the origins of many of the names of our local towns. 

CJ explores healthy food options that can give us all energy. Matt learns about a new company that wants to implement its own brand of eugenics. Spenny learns a thing or two (maybe).  Also, CJ doesn't like crawfish. And Matt discusses co-parenting. 

CJ's day gets off to a bad start when he forgets something he needs for work at home. The gang celebrates the invention of LSD. Matt shares his new, bizarre hobby. And Spenny really enjoys the term 'crab grease,' so he chooses that to be the episode's title. 

CJ wonders why he had such had such a good weekend until realizing that it's because he mowed the lawn. Twice.  Matt tells the story of how he judged a talent show at his daughter's high school last week and how she handled the situation.  And Spenny learns where the phrase "mad hatter" comes from. 

CJ, Matt, and Spenny went to the AWM Gala last night for an awards ceremony. They looked handsome, but they also looked a bit red in the face when CJ got up onstage to present an award and screwed things up a bit.  Also, the gang learns about a holistic technique called "fart walking", which gives CJ the perfect opportunity to share his embarrassing stories about accidentally farting during dates. And Matt introduces his "Unsolved Curiosities" segment for Weird or Wired where he introduces interesting things that science knows about but can't quite explain yet. 

We fight, we stage fright and then we fight some more. Today's show hopefully settles some debts on our long running bets. 

Today CJ distracts Matt with a surprise visit from comedian Doug Mellard. The two have performed stand-up comedy together for many years, and Mellard is performing at Cap City Comedy Club with a certain local comic. Also CJ gets angry with Austin dog owners and people who pop their popcorn on the stove. And Spenny gets his very own show. Maybe. Perhaps in some alternate universe somewhere.

CJ had a rough time at the Renn Fair with his uncomfortable suit of armor. Matt has a bone to pick with TikTok parents and "fit" influencers. And the boys learn about a war that was fought over poop. 

Today's show is fueled by anger and exhaustion but ends in a healthy dose of sick friendship. 

DID YOU KNOW that shutting up is good for you? Learn more on today's episode.  CJ has planned a vacation, but he's scared he might get in fights at the beach. Spenny has produced music and sound effects for the fake film trailer that CJ made on the last episode. And Matt learns about radioactive pacemakers.

Spenny urges CJ and Matt to fight after CJ had a dream where he got upset with Matt.  The gang shares their favorite guilty pleasure meals. And Matt tells us about a sweet LASER clock and dark matter.

Matt had a very foreboding dream about CJ and the radio awards season. Will the friendship and show survive? 

We follow up our discussion on how being boring can be pretty dang fun, how finding comfort in the mundane can be soothing, and how simplicity is oh so sweet.  Also, science has discovered that vaping can be worse for you for a number of new reasons.  And CJ has tricked a lot of the people in the office with another one of his pranks.

Today we celebrate erections and the medicine that makes it possible for those who struggle to maintain them.  Also, is being boring fun? Matt thinks so, and Spenny is starting to agree.  And CJ creates his first aluminum object after smelting in his backyard for only a day. How did it turn out? Listen and find out. Come on. Duh. 

CJ tells Matt and Spenny about a technique useful for road trips, Matt discovers an entire realm of funk and psychedelic music from The Middle East, and Spenny does his best. God bless his him. 

CJ vents about some things that have been upsetting him recently. Spenny thinks The Captain has veered into the Larry David era of his life, much to Matt's entertainment. Listen to CJ's rants on today's episode.  And are we really gonna have a freaking eclipse or not? Matt isn't excited for this monumental event that's quickly approaching. But why, exactly? Also, happy birthday EJ! We love you!

The Midwest may not have queso, but they do have their own versions of tasty dips that we explore on Today is the Greatest for National Chip and Dip Day. Also, a surprisingly large segment of the population believes they could successfully beat a bear in a fight. Find out which side we belong to on today's show.

CJ is frustrated that Matt didn't pay him and join his March Madness bracket, we watch a dude embarrass himself on a police bodycam, and discuss the 7 dog breeds that are bad to raise your kids around. AND MORE

CJ wants to start a forge in his backyard to begin smelting his recycled aluminum. Matt wants to talk about zines, but CJ and Spenny don't know what he's saying. And Spenny learns that tossing a salad can be a fun way to spend your new year celebrations. 

Streaming services are getting more expensive, and they don't plan to get any cheaper anytime at all, really. The boys lament this unfortunate return to the old ways of nickel-and-diming customers for their entertainment. Welcome back, cable! Nobody missed you. Please don't stick around. Also, we slam Hutto a little bit, but it's in good fun. We learn about superhero The Thing's wiener. AND CJ declares SXSW 2024 the best experience he's had in a long time. ALL THAT AND MORE

We learn more about when the President first used mass communication to speak directly to the public, and, would you believe it, it happened many, many decades ago. Learn with us on Today is the Greatest! CJ hurt himself running down some stairs and also needs a hip replacement, which is wild for somebody as young as him. Matt learns about a simple way you can entertain your kiddos at home. And Spenny learns about the creator of Tang and Pop Rocks. 

We discuss the 2024 edition of The Oscars but not who won. Instead we talk about what made us laugh during this past-its-prime award show for the elite.  Teens are getting arrested for using A.I., CJ tells us how he screwed up a night of debauchery during a previous SXSW, and Matt warns us about our doorbell surveillance systems. 

CJ gets frustrated with Spenny interrupting a professional phone call, Matt gets frustrated with CJ during their Renaissance Fest outing, and Spenny gets frustrated that CJ doesn't know how to properly dispose of grease. 

We say goodbye to an Austin production company, hear about a new conspiracy theory involving the moon, and even learn about a monkey that got thrown in jail. 

Facebook and Instagram goes down for millions of users, CJ unveils his NASCAR v ASSCAR game for our current giveaway, and Matt tells the story of how he learned a certain culture thought cheese doodles (like Cheetos) tasted exactly like a rare delicacy they sought after.  Also, there's a certain gene that humans are missing from their DNA that prevents them from growing a tail. 

CJ tells a terrible joke at the expense of a long dead, historical icon.  Also, we learn about sweat technology. Yes. Sweat. The stuff that you secrete when you're getting all hot and busy.  A customer gets upset at a Jimmy John's restaurant. And we learn a lot about tigers. 

We learn about psychopaths this episode and how women were once believed to exhibit less psychopathy than men. Turns out that isn't true. Not even in the slightest. Cue the "ha ha i knew she was crazy" comments.  Oh, and CJ saw Dune Part 2. 

Is tattoo ink really that good for your body? CJ and Matt learn that science has discovered much more about the biproducts of tattoo ink, and now governments are rushing to regulate the stuff.  Spenny is still sick.

On this episode we ask if Austin is over food influencers then talk with a real food G, Jess Pryles.

CJ discovered a new diet that gets him out of bed earlier in the day. Spenny is still sick and Matt learned how to exercise. 

CJ has moved on to a new project and apparently camping with Matt's wife.

Austin FC is back in action and but we care more about the food than the match on the field.

We got something in the mail promoting a new movie and can't wait to "play" with it. Then comedian Colton Dowling joins us for a lesson in radio voice interviews. 

Sill ol Matt needs a boost so its time we organize a campaign to Make Matt Great Again, YAY! or #MMGAY. 

What's with doubling down on a wet appetizer and wet dinner? Too much goop! 

On today's episode, CJ gets concerned over a parody video he did about a fake law firm. Will he get sued? Let's hope so. That would make excellent content for the show. And Matt finds out some weird news for parents. Turns out, having kids is a bad thing. But why!? Find out on today's Parent Pickup. And Spenny!!!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day! We learn about the history of this commercial holiday and celebrate our love for entertaining ya on today's episode.  CJ thinks he won Valentine's Day Matt encourages us to be creative for creativity's sake and Spenny!

Valentine's Day and Lent are quickly approaching. Hurry! Summon the CJMobile! We have facts and rants to make!

We talk Super Bowl LVIII highlights, which barely includes the actual athletic feats of the players.  CJ loves organizing Super Bowl bets in the building, but he's having a hard time convincing himself to pay everyone for their wins. Matt has found the perfect viewing experience for stoners and science fans. And Spenny. He's there too!!!

CJ proposes turning the show into a React Channel style show, where the gang only reacts to more famous quotes from people like Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan. Matt discovers a 4Chan movement that seeks to use A.I. for adding more clothes to women's pictures. Nick from ESPN 102.7 stops by to help the gang with their Super Bowl edition bets! And Spenny is still here too! 

CJ plans to rebrand the show with a famous tea brand as sponsor, and he's even willing to change his name for the bit. Matt learns that there are a lot of myths surrounding lice. You know, those tricky lil' bugs that crawl through your hair and get you kicked school. Turns out there's more to lice than just the rumors. And Spenny. Yeah. Spenny!