Have you ever wondered why those nude Greek statues have small packages? I haven't either but one woman on Tik Tok seems to think it's probably something we've thought about and she explains why you never see Dirk Diggler on display at the museum. *A lot of people said they would jump at the opportunity to have a clone of themselves and they would put that clone to work immediately. *Doomscrolling!! Amber Heard and Johnny Depp are still stealing all the headlines. A teenager died after being buried in sand at the beach. A mom gave away free burgers on Facebook after her toddler got ahold of her phone and ordered 31 through Door Dash. Was I not supposed to crawl inside the spider monkey exhibit at the zoo and feed the animals Cheetohs? I gotta blame ignorance on this one. I had no idea that was wrong. *What do One Direction, Shania Twain, and Missy Elliot all have in common? None of them can write a hit. *Get To Know Us! This week we are tasked with choosing tattoos for our coworkers and Snowcone really comes out on top. *Didn't we already talk about things that used to be great but aren't anymore? Why can't the internet come up with anything new for us to use? *Thanks for listening! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and join our subreddit r/churchoflazlo See you tomorrow. -Everybody Wang Chung!!