​Things start off a little awkward today. On Friday, Slimfast and Lazlo made plans to go drink at an art fair over the weekend. Slimfast was supposed to text but he never did. He did, however, go to the art fair without Lazlo. *Ten years ago, Lazlo and Slimfast got into an argument about hypothetical  women with hypothetical seal faces. It doesn't come up often but when it does, it still doesn't make any sense. *Doomscrolling!  Always buckle up on amusement park rides, an Amtrak crashed over the weekend, officials (and Dog The Bounty Hunter) are still looking for Brian Laundrie, mom's spaghetti looks delicious, rolling coal gone wrong, a Seattle driving school was on the take, and the neighbor from hell. *What happens to the women who use Lazlo's Magic Shower? *Lazlo is still salty about being stood up by Slimfast so he's taking friend applications. *The word "virginity" is on trial. Its potential replacement is a real show stopper. *An actor at a haunted house in Ohio stabbed a kid right in his Crocs!! *Something about makeup and Britney Spears and Slimfast being an idiot. *We're out of time. Lazlo's got a big show tonight and he doesn't want to be late. Thanks for listening. I think you're the best and you look great without a filter.  -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!