



Mama Missy
A heartfelt story about Mama Missy, the woman who helped raise me and taught me kindness, courage, and the joy of simple days fishing, cooking, and growing up in Goose Creek.

Hollar Halloween
This story centers on my Brother in Law Pete Hollar. Pete has always had an immense and wicked sense of humor....you will see this in my story that follows...Boo!

$4200 Glove
Old Chile spins a truly unforgettable tale of Texas football, small-town payback, and the most expensive prostate exam in booster club history. When cranky oilman Charlie Bates strong-arms his way into a physical with pediatrician Slip Phillips, things don’t quite go as planned. One frozen latex gl…

My Pal Roy #1
Old Chile introduces us to Roy—the flashiest, fiercest, most unforgettable character to ever disco-dance into danger. From silk shirts and diamond-studded Rolexes to wartime poker rings and after-hours shootouts, Roy wasn’t just a man—he was a walking firecracker in gator loafers. In this explosive…

Private Eye
Old Chile takes you on a “high-stakes” investigation straight out of a gumbo-flavored detective novel—minus the professionalism. It’s 1974, and a routine child custody surveillance turns into a beer-soaked stakeout, complete with pork rinds, pizza, and near arrest. When four armed men surround the …

Gumbo for 2000
Old Chile stirs up a Texas-sized tale of friendship, faith, and 75 gallons of gumbo gone rogue. When the local Episcopal minister ropes him and the McKinney police chief into cooking for a church fundraiser, things quickly go off-recipe—no silverware, no idea how to use the soup kettles, and a fina…

The Gelding
Old Chile lifts the curtain on one of life’s more delicate adventures: his very own vasectomy, or as he calls it—The Gelding. With plenty of pre-op “research” (read: beers and bad advice), a homegrown shave job, and enough one-liners to keep the surgical staff blushing, Chile turns a nerve-wracking…

Bullets and Birthday Cake
Old Chile brings the party—and a handful of .22 bullets—to a not-so-peaceful sixth birthday bash. With tap shoes for Lucy, a bullhorn for Brian, and four shiny cartridges tucked under his tongue, Chile manages to dodge Simon Says, fake-swallow live ammo, and send a roomful of moms into a frenzy. A …

The Nose Knife Incident
Old Chile takes us back to one fateful Thursday night filled with Groucho Marx, choir practice, and a surprise trip to the emergency bathroom. While Mom and Dad sang hymns, Chile stayed home with his TV-loving grandmother and a junk drawer full of temptation. One pen knife, one overstuffed chair, a…

The Fall of Daddy Max
Old Chile takes us back to a simpler time—when jukeboxes bubbled, fries came with tartar sauce, and Grandpa’s pants were always one beer away from disaster. In this tale of burgers, backfires, and bare-bottomed blunders, Chile recounts a fateful lunch at the Rebel Inn with Daddy Max—a Studebaker-dr…