That's hot! Cash in your inheritance, we're checking into Hotel Hilton with OG heiress and miniature canine enthusiast—Paris Hilton—and her appropriately titled new blockbuster "Paris: A Memoir." The inventor of the selfie and lynchpin of modern celebrity is back with a shocking tell-all: from the horrific abuse she's suffered at "troubled teen" schools to becoming the highest paid DJ in the world, naming all her dogs after cryptocurrencies, reviving Heatherette, how The Simple Life invented the modern e-girl, is Kathy Hilton a monster?, the overdiagnosis of ADHD—and Lily gets hot for teacher. Blondes really do have more fun.

PLUS! In the VIP Lounge this Friday—Lily quizzes Steven on LA nightclubs from the 2000s and the results will shock you! Subscribe at http://patreon.com/cbcthepod