Merry Christmas, B*tch! This week we bite into the debut poetry book "Pretty Boys are Poisonous" by the darkest girl in Hollyweird--Megan Fox. We discuss Santa, trad vs emo girls, Adam and Eve discourse, watching retro porn with Machine Gun Kelly, loving men, hating men, poems about slaughtered lambs, gold rush feminism, and fucking heartbreak. We bleed for you, Club Kids.