Carefully RecklessPreviously Recorded
Happy Hump Day Y'all! Today, Jess is helping some people with sibling rivalry and a baby mama that's toooo close for comfort. Tap in!!
**Correction at 16:38 - Her name is Sheree
Welcome to Canfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects. Oh shit, back on the air, Welcome back to you had another catholic reckless episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious session. Fixed my mess. Here we are and we got some voice notes today. Thank god I ain't got to read. Thank god I can just focus on fixing. All right, good, here we go.
Hey, Jess, I want to see if you can fix my mess.
I wanted to know what is your best suggestion on cutting off family members that are always around. Like I have a lot of sisters, and I'm friends with all my sisters except for one of them.
She's just really shady and she talks about us to her mom.
We have the same die, but we don't have the same mom, and she talks about us. And like I remember one time it went on a trip and her phone was like out and our cousin saw that she was texting her mom saying, oh, I'm not light her.
I'm not like these other girls.
Like I don't drink, I don't smoke like I'm good, you know what I mean? Like number one, why are you telling your mom that we drink and we smoke? Like we come from a really religious family, and I could come back to our mom. Number one, you're telling our business to your mom. And number two, why are you talking shit about your own fucking blood?
Like that's so weird to me.
I've never in my life said anything bad about any siblings. And I'm the type of person like if you whatever energy you give me, I will get back to you.
That's just like one of the shitty things that she's done.
And number two, she's just like really shitty to everybody. This girl never keeps any friends because people always cut her off because of the way that she asks, like she'll talk shit about you, she'll tell your business. And another thing that she did that just threw me off recently is one of her friends got rejected by her guy friends, and she calls her guy friends and was like, oh my god, like laughing, like why.
Would she do that?
Like it's just like, I'm like, girl, you're so you're such a fucking pickny.
I don't know.
I'm like, she grew up around boys, and I grew up around girls, so I know how to be a good friend, do you know what I mean?
At the end of the day, the way that she grew up.
She never really had like females around her, so she didn't really know.
She doesn't really know how to act. But I don't really like her.
And also there's another thing that she did, like her mom sent one of our brothers, our half brothers, to our family's business and tried to like steal our clients.
And I think that she gets like she gets all the shady behavior from her mom.
Her mom is just mad at my mom because she was the other woman, you know what I mean. So I think that's why she hates us so much, and that's why my sister acts like that towards.
Us to like obviously be on her mom's side.
But it's just like I don't like that fucking talkic shit. Like whatever our parents have, it shouldn't come in between us, you know what I mean. At the end of the day, we're siblings. She doesn't really look at us that way. She looks at us as the enemy because her mom looked at us as the enemy, you know what I mean. She's just projecting all of that onto us.
But honestly, like I can never get away from this girl.
I don't talk to her, I don't text her, but every time that I go to her city to visit my other sister, She's always blowing up my phone and I just ignore all her calls, and then like she called my sister and then it's like I'm kind of just like in between. I'm kind of like in between that and I can't really escape her. Do you think I should just tell her like, yo, don't I don't want to fuck with you, like I'm good off of you?
Or should I just play nice?
Because obviously she's friends with my sisters, and I love my sisters to death, They're like my best friends. But I don't like her, and all my other sisters don't like her either, but they just kind of they just like deal with her.
I can't do that, Like, that's not the type of person I am.
I'm not the type of person to sit here and laugh at somebody and play with them and be cool with them even though I fucking.
Hate them in the inside. Like I'm a Sagittarius.
It's just it's hard for me, like to not tell people how I feel. Do you think that just because she'll she'll never change, I should just accept her for the way that she is, or should I just fucking check her and be like, bitch, like this is what you did, this the way you did. I don't fuck with you and put it all out there.
Or should I just let it go.
Let me clarify on that one part where I said that one of our moms was the other woman that was shade. Neither of our moms were the other women. Our father married for women. I'm not sure if it was at the same time or I'm not sure, but if you know anything about Muslims, men are allowed to marry up to four women, and both of our mothers have kids close in age, so I'm assuming that our dad married my sister's mom and my mom around the same time, if not the same year.
So yeah, I just wanted to clarify on that part.
Thank you, no problem, money. I love that. I love the clarification because listen, you sent me the other part on a whole other day. You sent me the first story a whole other day, and then you just sent your correction not too long ago. Oh, I do understand the shade was thrown. You were just in your feelings. You were very upset, obviously something had just happened, and you just you reacted. I understand, and I do respect, I love and respect how you still respect her mother enough to come back and correct that, like, no, okay, she wasn't the other woman. Neither was my mom. You know, we're Muslim, so dad is allowed to have more than one wife or you know, or what have you. I don't want to mess it up because I do not want no smoke with no damn Muslims. All right, So we're gonna keep it moving there. We're gonna get off the Muslim part, all right. Listen, Okay, I want you to have an open mind when I'm telling you this, But your sister, do you sometimes feel that because you and your other sisters, who are so close and tight knit and just loyal to one another and thriving, you have obviously a big part in the family business. And you know, you're very well articulate, you sound very intelligent. Do you think with that family dynamic over there, you guys are by the same woman and man, same mom and dad, and then her with a different mom and a different household, you know, not as structured as what it sounds like. And I'm basing that solely off of her social skills and how you said she wasn't raised around women, so she doesn't really know how to navigate with all these feminine feelings and all this shit and how the sister cold goes, you know, so she wouldn't really know how to be a sister. Okay, growing up? How was it? Because do you think that she could sometimes feel like a black sheep? I don't know if your dad still stayed with her mother after her mother gave birth to her, or did he break up with the mother and stay with your mother or how was it? Also, was she around you guys growing up? Was she coming to get dropped off? Did she spend holidays with you guys? And did you guys go over there to her house or whatever? Or you know, were you guys raised as close sisters although you guys come from two different households. Did she ever feel included in anything? Not justifying the bullshit and the talking shit and all of that. But is it possible that she could have grew up disliking you guys because you have each other and she just has her She doesn't have other sisters outside of her dad and on her mom's side. I think you said she has brothers. And let me tell you something right now, I didn't grow up around girls either, but I know not to do that shit. That's why I guess I'm so rough and tough and I'm real quick on my feet, and you know, I can spawl with the best of these Nicholas out here because I grew up around guys. I have brothers, you know, I have boy cousins. Now I have female cousins too, But I was a tom girl for the majority of my life. Like girl, I didn't start wearing makeup and all that shit until I got on wilding out. That's for real, and that's literally like what six years ago. I was never into anything girly, didn't even desire to hang around girls. Me and my cousin London, and I had one female best friend named Jasmine growing up two homegirls and like eighty fucking o boys, never ever even desired to be around girls, hang around girls, you know, no particular reason. I just like basketball and shit better. So I'm not gonna say that doesn't have anything at all to do with why she asks the way she does. But I'm telling you it's different for everybody. It's different for different people. I don't think that that plays a part in it. I think she wants to love. And I think you hit it on the head when you said she's a pick me. It's like she's a fucking pick me. Yeah, because I don't feel like she's ever felt like she was picked before. You know what I'm saying. That also can have an effect on you. Pick Mees generally are the black sheeps, are the underdogs, are the people that gotta fight harder to be seen. They seem like they're attention seeking, and they are because they never really got attention, You get what I'm saying. And then if her mother was such an angry bitch, no joking, sorry for mother was such an angry person all her life from what you can remember, not all her life. But you say like she's an angry person, she's mean, she's nasty. If a child is growing up around that, that child is going to be conditioned to be the same way, even if our mother didn't teach her to be that way. That's my mother, So I inherit that I see that, I watch that, I learn her behavior and she doesn't even really realize she's teaching it to me. And maybe she did teach it on purpose, But I don't drink and all that you know all that shit comes from her mother. You guys are living life, chilling, having fun, thinking y'all can trust y'all sister to have fun with y'all too. Have y'all ever sat down and talked to her? Literally, have y'all ever just just sat down? I think that would be great. And honestly, I know you don't like her. I know your sisters don't like her. I don't think she likes y'all either, But that has to stop. And you know you can't save every relationship. You can't save every friendship, you can't even save every family ship. But to be honest with you, I think you even writing me is a sign that you do want to fix it, because you asked me. Should I just say fucking them off of you? Or should I just continue to play nice? I don't think you should do either. Hey, I don't think you should break up with your sister. No, I don't half sister whatever. I don't think you should break up with her. And I also don't think you should play nice, because that's being phony. I think you should set her ass down, you and her, not all the sisters. I think she needs to have an individual conversation with each of you and then you guys can come together and talk. And the reason why I say that and is hear me out, because she could possibly feel like with all of y'all talking to her at the same time, y'all are going to go back and talk about her when she gets up and leave, because she is the only one that's divided. There is a division there, you know that was created because of Dad. So real, no one is to blame, not the mother, not your mother, not the sister. But then again, we can't even really blame Dad because it's religion that you don't have to abide by one wife or one you know so, and he was married to four women, as you said, So these are divisions created because of religion. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that confidently because that's and all be all in a nutshell, that's what it is. I can't deem it to say it's wrong. However, I'm not a Muslim, I'm Christian, and you can't have more than one wife. You can't do that. Now, niggas do it all day. Men cheat, men do this, but it's not right in my religion. So what I'm saying to you is. I think it should be an individual conversation. You should go and talk to her, then your other sister go and talk to her. Then the other sister go talk to her, and then the other sister go talk to he. I don't know how many of y'all it is Papa rolling stonehead ass stamp, but I do think that that would birth a whole new perspective about you guys to her and then you never even know. She could probably be wanting the love from y'all so bad, but she doesn't want to be the bigger person. She wants y'all to pull it out of her. You know, she wants y'all to make the first step, and it's okay in doing that. Y'all been playing nice all this damn time. Why knowing y'all don't like the girl, and knowing the girl don't like y'all, have a conversation with her. Hey, look, and then you don't got to be nice in the conversation. Shit, you, my sister, I'm gonna talk to you like a real grown ass woman. Listen. I don't like that you talk about me and our always include her. You want to use words like our as mad as you may be in this conversation as mad as you always probably feel that. You know, you don't want to claim her or whatever, or she's not like you. Yeah, she's not like you because y'all don't have the same mother, but y'all got a same dad. Trust me, you are more of your mother than you are your father. I'll always believe that. I don't care. You lived in her belly for nine months. Yes, he helped create you, but you were bonded to your mother for nine months. You were held by your mother immediately after birth. You're a breastfait. Whether you're breastfed or not, you bond skin to skin. So she's more of her mother than your father. You're more of your mother than y'all father. You understand. So sit down and talk to her, you say, hey, what is it? Or you can just start the conversation like that. What is it? What is it about me that you hate? Why do you hate me? Why do you dislike me? What is wrong? What did I do to you? Why do you snitch on me? Why do you think you're so different? What is the problem with us? What is the underlying issue? Does it have anything to do with our dad?
You know?
Give her a chance to talk. Also, things may get a little heated. I know, y'all better not put your hands on each other, but that's not what sisters do. Even half sisters don't suppose to do that. Okay, have a conversation. Go to your other sisters, encourage them to talk to her. Y'all don't have to fight fire with fire. Let hollo ass beat the fire, put that shut out, extinguish that shit. And if it doesn't work, even after a sensible, civilized conversation, then fall back, I would say, and let her come around. Don't treat her in no different way. You just learn how to deal with it with a long and destphone. Deal with her at a distance. Love your sister from a distance. Okay, so check back in with me, baby girl. That was a good one. And she's so beautiful too. All right, we're gonna do one more and we're gonna get out of here. Hold up, hold up, I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
Moving on, Hey, jas, Okay, I'm gonna get right into it.
Twenty six years old and I'm dating a guy.
He's really nice.
He's not one of the.
Typical cool guys at date. He actually is shit.
Most of the guys you know, we tend to go after.
I tend to go after ain't shit, but.
Just one of her.
He's doing pretty good either way. Anyways, he has a three year old. I have no kids at all, and he's real cool with his baby mother, and anybody else will be great to not be going through baby mama drama.
But they a little too cool.
They give their three year old, they.
Sit pictures down in front of her and give her a choice of where she wants to go to different countries, and she picks and they go as a family. And I'm dating you, So it's kind of hard for me. What should I do? How should I feel? I'm happy that he's not having drama with his baby mother, but I.
Think that's a little bit much.
Okay, so you cut that off and listen. I don't even need you to finish. Girl, Leave that motherfucker alone. Let's just what that is. Uh uh huh? This seme? What the fuck this look like? Over this?
Girl?
Please? What you date them? Is he your boyfriend? Because to be honest with you, oh yeah, I'm coming with y'all too. The fuck, I ain't never been to Somaliah. I ain't never been a Saint Lucia. I never been to Arabia. The fuck. Like, no, put some pictures in front of me, motherfucker, and I'm going that sounds like some Will Smith Jada Pinka. Shit, damn, what is this? Because you know Will Smith has an older son right before Jada. His name is Trey. Now. Will was married to his mother before. Look the Baltimore was coming out of me. Will was married to this woman before. Okay, and I just watched a little snippet of Red Table Talk where she actually came on. I think her name is Lisa. I do not want to screw this woman's name up. I think his first wife's name was Lisa. She comes on the show and Jada says, oh, they take trips together and everything like I did to go out the country together. And then so Lisa said, you know, you're gonna have to clear this up, right, Like, No, that's your husband. Yes, he was mine before, but he's your husband. You know you said stuff like that, You're gonna have to clear it up. No, we don't just go on trips because we're you know, like we fucking around, nothing like that. No, I think they had some type of like their business partners or something like that. But either way, I don't care. Jada is so secure in herself because she ain't really She don't give a damn by no damn Willie, so she don't care. Right, she got a few entanglements of her own still going on that we don't know about yet that she probably will tell us, because she tell us every damn thing, even shit that she shouldn't tell us. But that's neither here or there. She doesn't mind will traveling the world with his baby mother and the son don't even be there because the sun is grown, So imagine that I wouldn't even do that shit. As comfortable as I am with my son's father, me and my son and his dad will never go out the country. If I'm dating someone, we'll never go out the country together unless he taking his girl and I'm taking my man. There's no way. I don't care. That's just the respect level that I would have for my man and that he's supposed to have for his woman. That's just what that is. Girl, lead that nigga alone, especially if he ain't inviting you and when they go out the country together, do he call you? Do he talked to girl? Look? Fuck that lead that, nigga, that's just what that is. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now you cut your story off. But I ain't even need to hear nothing else. Fuck that lead that shit alone, because I don't have time to girl. I ain't got time for that shit. Did y'all hear that? That just pissed me off? I want to know how serious you guys are. And when you say dating, dating to me just means you're getting to know a person. You know. You could be dating four, five, six people, you know what I'm saying. You could be dating a lot of people. You could be dating one person if you choose a date one person. But are you in a relationship. That's the difference, because if you're actually in a relationship, that's unacceptable. I mean, come on, come on, seriously, ask him? Would he allow the same? If y'all are even on those terms, have you ever bought this up to him before or is this your first time even taking it outside of your relationship bringing it to me? I think there needs to be a communication level established. I don't think there is one? The fuck and you say it like this is a regular thing that they just be doing, and shit, that can't be healthy. You can't like possibly be happy. The fuck? I don't know. You said they're a little too cool? Do you see any other signs of anything going on? Like what the hell? And then and then hold up, hold up, let me, I think this shit just clicked. I'm gonna say this to y'all. I'm gonna leave on this note. Is this nigger rich? And is that why you fucking with him? Because he got money? Because if he is frequently taking his family, because that's what it is, honey, his family out the country, and the way he's presenting the destination is setting pictures in front of a baby, a three year old who don't even know how to say country, probably much less spell it. The fuck this nigga got some fucking money. What if she picked Egypt? Is he was just gonna go over there because them flights high as hell? Because that's where I'm going next week? The hell do this nigga got money? And is that the reason why you fucking with him? Because if that is the reason why you fucking with him, girl, you might as well, stay where you at if that's the reason. Shit, if you really love him and you really value loyalty and you value faithfulness, leave But if you just with a nigga for his money, you can be cool with your baby ba all day. Baby. Matter of fact, why y'all go on the trip, send me on one so I ain't even got to think about y'all me. I ain't gotta go where y'all go. Just send me on my own and give me another ticket so I can take a nigga the fuck girl, get your life. But chuck back in because I need to know, dude, this nigga has somebody shit. And just like that, we're gonna end this episode on that note. Y'all tuning every Wednesday to Carefully Reckless, whether you're on your way to work at the gym, sitting there doing paperwork, on your way to take your babies to school. Whenever you want to listen to my podcast, it's here and it's available, and in my deepest paning voice, can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
