Call It What It IsIt's a golden love story, baby just say YES! Jess & Camilla welcome 'Golden Bachelor's winning couple to give a fresh update on life now that the cameras are totally off. They share what it was really like during filming, transitioning to the real world and managing each other's love languages.
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Lettington, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Well, hello, hello, Hello.
Hello Call It crew, and welcome to another episode of Call It What It Is a very special one because I'm I'm okay, I'm fan, we would your.
Family woman, your fami lady, I'm fan coupling.
Yes, got a thank you.
I mean we're shipping, we'repp.
There's other voices in the room, Camilla, who are they?
Okay, we have what I hear I do, But we have a we have a guy.
We have in our midst, the very first Golden Bachelorette and her pick of the season.
I mean, don't talk. Don't ever say we didn't get you any thing for the holidays.
I know because your romance for the holidays. You guys, they do so much for being with us today. We're geeking out. When I told people that you guys were coming on, I got like a lot of questions, a lot of text and a lot of questions.
Yeah, yes, they want to they really are they real?
People keep asking us that if you're really you guys are really like if you were like, are really a couple old?
Okay, so let's start there because I think it's a good place to start. Sure, Okay, because I guess my first question would be, did either of you take turns answering watch reality television before going on to a reality television show?
So you can answer that, because did you even watch the Bachelorette or Bachelor ever?
No? And I told the producers beforehand, I said, I haven't seen anything, and not any reality TV. Maybe Survivor when it came out twenty five years It was a good show years ago, so I have no idea. One of the little jokes was there's a Golden Road was in the Rose ceremony room? Yes, and it's in case. I had no idea what it was, what it was for. And Jones said at the end, just a couple of dies, and she goes, that's what you get at the end.
That's why you're here, that's what you want.
Did you watch her okay, once you knew you were coming on the show, did you watch her season?
No? I'm a reader and I don't even have cable TV, and so I just read everything I could.
And okay, you read everything about her about her.
In about a little bit about the show and a little bit about Gary, the other contestants, but it's just going online. But then now we all know this, how much of that's true?
Yes, yes, of that I wanted to do it.
I could have gone on, you know, could have gone and watched it, but I wanted it to just be fresh.
I was looking for something new, and you I'm seeing from you not had watched reality television before and obviously had been on another show. So I guess again going back to like is it real when you were watching as a as an audience member, were you believing what you were seeing?
Yeah, I didn't.
Really doubt it. I mean, so it was all younger seasons at the time, and yes, certainly the beginning ones seemed more authentic then as they went along, And like everybody has this notion that now that it's been on for a bunch of years, a lot of people are on their show because they want to be famous, they want to be Instagram, you know, they want to be influencers. So like that's kind of a narrative that's going around.
But the like original kind of.
Bachelor, like Trista, like you know, in those earlier seasons were really real, and so I believe still marry right, yeah, yeah, gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's two like teenage kids. They're so very like they are like the iconic Bachelor couple. So I certainly believed it, you know, going into it, that it could happen. And I felt like our seasons, the Golden Bachelor and our season, since they're so new, our way more kind of pure, they haven't been like there hasn't been a different narrative yet. People aren't there to become famous. We're a little older, we're not trying to be influencers and what.
We're bagging into.
Okay, so you believed that you could fall in love on television as you went into this.
I did.
I was I believe that it could happen. I wasn't sure it could happen for me. So I went in maybe a little skeptical, but hopeful because like I do, believe in the process. So they do all this a betting for you, and they kind of knew me. So I was on Golden Bachelor first, So when I came on this and the producers were starting to go through the process of casting the guys, they knew me.
So they kind of knew what I was.
Interested in, knew what I would like, and so they kind of bet them for you. So that whole like initial part of your dating where you're just getting to know each other, that part is kind of done for you. The timeline that looks really really short, well you've skipped a good month or two that you.
Don't have to worry about.
It's already all those you know, danger red flag things are kind of sports cars.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
We will previously reference by dates and sports cars, sports cars and not and we're.
Not into that.
Do you feel like the show ever, because sometimes I watch the show and I'm like, it's so obvious to me that that's not going to be the right person. Was there anyone in your group that you felt like was a plant for drama?
Yes, for drama, though for drama a pod be talking about because.
You're like, I just felt like a little too smooth, I got a little too like maybe the shows you want the show to be more about you, And I'm I'm not sure that that's a controversial thing to say, because people initially had Maybe you felt like he didn't pass the small tests.
How you say it, like, yeah, so there's a lot of that.
So I do agree with what you're saying now, but as I was going through the process.
Or was it editing, you can tell me like editing, like sort of sitting it that way.
I feel like it was pretty accurate. They add for him, not for everybody, but for him, I felt like.
Edit was good.
I don't see anything that happens in the mansion. I am not living there, so I don't so all like the kind of funny stuff that he did talking about all his designer stuff and not helping in the kitchen and not doing his own laundry and all that stuff that like.
Probably would have been red flags for me. I didn't see any of that.
So, like my interactions with him were like way different than what you So the Pascal that I got to know was not what the rest of the world was getting to know. Like he was just one on one with me, talked about his son and raising him and talking about you know, kind of growing up in you know, crappy conditions and not having a very loving family and him just coming to maryor not speaking English. So like a lot of the narrative I got from him was very different because I didn't have all that other external stuff about how he acted in the house and you know all that stuff. I didn't know about it. So when I then watched the season, I was like, oh, a different person, Like he made it really far for me without me knowing so much about them.
But this happens on the show.
This is one of the things that is kind of fascinating. Did you feel like you had a good instinct on the guys in the house?
Absolutely?
How like du clock.
It the first night and the next morning you got to read on all of them.
Absolutely, and I'm pretty good.
I'm looking at his eyes and I believe.
One of the things that came up. But again I can ramble.
But dishwasher didn't work, okay.
And there's a reason it didn't work because it brings you around the kitchen and it brings around the guy. So some guys would cook, some guys would clean those you know, do the dishes.
Oh you're saying on purpose?
Yeah, absolutely, And they go, well, that's not going to work, And I go, I'll pay for a new one, yeah, and they go no. But you know, I think it was smart to do it because I did them.
Okay.
He was part of the community, the community, George, and it's been broken forever.
It was broken in Gilden the batter season, and there's been two other seasons that's no, no, no.
So you felt like even just from a dynamic of that in the kitchen in the morning, you could tell who was by launch.
Absolutely, it's very true.
Did you know who your real competition was?
You know? It varied is the season went alone and the filming did. I was the guy that I was probably the most concerned about was Mark because he's such a good man. Mark Anderson is just a solid guy. He's in there doing dishes, he was cooking. He was just a polite guy. And you sit there and you go, you know, if it was my sister, you know, and if he was my brother in law. I love the guy. Yeah, a little soft spoken, but he's a he's a good man. And there was other guys. But he had come back from a date with Joan and they went on the shot and we go bring back the fish because I love to Yeah, that's kind of thing I want to do is butcher fish and do all this. And he came back and he was just glowing. He goes, I just had the most fabulous date and he goes, it was great. We played these games and I'm sitting there going that that's that might be the guy. And then guys, you know, I thought guy Guy's got a lot to bring to the table. The guy Guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
You know, the whole time, he goes, Chuck, it's going to be you and me the final two and uh, you know that was his opinion, and I Joan had kind of given me some hints.
It's interesting you were saying this right now because the people that we've spoken to felt early that it was you and that guy was not really.
In the in the running like it was.
Yes, it was like very clear.
There was a spark that like was not there for other people.
It was over. It was over at Disneyland. That's what It was the most magical place in the world.
So that is true.
I mean, we had an immediate spark and immunia attraction, and we got along so well to the point where we were walking around Disneyland and we had a huge film crew because since it was Disney and you know, the network is not by Disney, they had like a lot of people they are with us, and you know, after the first maybe thirty minutes, they go, well, you know, you know, you should be looking at like some of the sights at Disney and making comments about that because we were just having a great conversation. We were just like immediately we hit it off. But I knew I had since I've watched the show and I see a lot of times people hone in on a person right away. They're like, this is my God, yes, and then sometime within the season, in the first three or four weeks, they discovered that they're a different person, and then they're really behind because they really haven't given real time to other people.
So I was.
Very conscious of that, and I said, I am not going to hone in on somebody right away, even though like I felt like this was going to be good. I felt like when I went on dates with other people, I needed to, you know, actually put the work into it that they could possibly be the person, because I didn't want to go and get to week four.
It's just not long enough.
If you get to week four and you haven't established you know, a relationship, a bond, a connection, it's too late. So I was like, I was trying to establish other connections.
Because you had watched it and you did believe that that you could fall in love you.
Actually I'm hearing you say that.
There was also kind of like a strategy, not strategy in a bad way, strategy like this is because you said something else where. I was like, oh my gosh, on some level, whoever's in the house going on the date, it's like there's a competition.
Yeah, I mean, and they didn't show that. They did not show the competition, but it was, you know, from what I understood, it was we all got along great. There really wasn't a lot of competition.
There wasn't which is not normal.
Correct from the ladies in your season even we're a little like hard.
Yes, So that was surprising. So in the beginning, everybody's really cordial and you're getting to know each other and there is like a whole element of it, like you found your tribe. So you have been at this weird place in life in your sixties or you know some of the people from the Golden Bachelor season more than the seventies even, and you walk into a room and finally you're with people who's being in your sixties and seventies and being single is a weird place to be because everybody you know is a couple. Everybody at that age is a couple, and there's very few peers that people understand that. Like, so you go out with your girlfriends and they all go home to their husbands, and you go home to an empty house, and everybody goes on a couple of vacations and they don't invite you, And when you go to all wedding, you are the night those vacations.
If you were, then just say I feel like I bust in on those vacations.
Yeah, I would be, but by the way, I feel like this is a feeling that people have.
I know, I'm offering your languages. True, you know a lot of majors.
You're right here, Yeah, but particularly being you know, at this age, because it's very hard to fix it. It's very hard to find. The dating at this age is not easy. They're the pool of people small, especially if you want to stay in your area, which is easier. So you walk into this mansion and there you are, like I was, there were twenty other one people that got it, like they were my peers. They ask the people that I could finally, like, you know, they were friends that understood where I was in life. So you have this immediate bond. But then it starts to unravel a little bit and the.
Main comes in.
So Gary comes in and some people are really interested in them, and that's when the competition starts other of us. And I have the feeling that I would never want him or anyone to pick me as like like the runner upper, like they like by default because they just didn't have any more time. I want, like I wanted him to explore everybody in that house.
I want you to go.
I don't want to do it with every single one of them before me. Yeah, if you find somebody great, it's not me. I would never want somebody to pick me because you know they hadn't you know, they had a question in their mind.
So but other people don't.
People don't always think that way, Like if I put in enough time all make her love me.
And it really doesn't.
Yeah, that's what I mean the competition part of it, because ultimately there's a prize, right and someone wins.
You go in with any strategy.
I didn't know what I was doing, so I feel do you feel like a winner?
Now?
Absolutely?
Someone knows strategy who won?
And I went back and looked at the contract and the contract list you as a contestant so it at you're not a cast member, you're a contestant. Yes, And but the guys were so polite, so professional, so friendly, we didn't look at it. We wanted the right person to be with Joan. There were a couple of guys that really did care about Joan. And that's tough because I'm friends with them. But that's life.
Are you still friends with them now or is it different?
Okay, guy, and we talked. I talked to absolutely.
Yeah.
A lot of the guys, got five of them meeting me in Kansas City for a Chiefs game on Sunday.
Stopping going to be there.
It's over this week, okay, the dates?
And I was thinking about you guys walking around Disneyland.
And I, I mean, as actors were very versed in doing things and pretending like a camera is not there. Did you get to the point where you could pretend a camera was not there?
Or were you at your first season?
I mean, you're you're a little bit more seasoned in it, but for you, it's there's show.
The producers and I don't know the exact term, they did such a good job the interviews. You can't even tell there's a TV when they told me I was going to be on the show, and there was a letter that came out and says, you're not You know you're not a finalist. You can't say you are, that's one thing. But so I flew out to La and I thought they'd do some screen testing and I'd never been behind a camp or in front of a camera. H You never had no idea, but they do a fantastic job with it, and then you just kind of you just go.
With if you feel intimate. I mean, because we're we can forget the cameras and our scenes, but if a camera was on me and my husband, it would be so hard to have these intimate conversations, let alone kiss and really be in the moment. Does it take a second to get used to that? Or the cameras so far away that you don't.
Really even if it was close, It didn't bother me at all. You had to kiss at Bora Bora, And it was one of those ones because they go, you know, when you think about someone else, and I said, they're a woman in the world. To kiss a guy like that, that's thinking about someone else with.
Someone telling you one thing, like you were getting fed and information about.
There's a little bit of reality because guy was still I didn't know that Joan, you know, had had told that the guy.
So you're like, I gotta I gotta win this, I gotta seal.
But then you.
And then he felt good.
Yeah, is there a moment where you can say to the camera, is like, no, no, no.
Only in fantasy suite.
So that's the whole thing about fantasy suits that you are never not on camera, even if there isn't a camera in your face, it's in the ceiling, there's a camera there.
You are always, always, always mean for the fantasy suite.
Ye, except for the fantasy suites, which is why like, if the fantasy suite is important, so on. You know, most seasons or very few bauchery of baucherettes have not done fantasy suites. Effect, I don't think any have not done it. And and I felt really weird about fantasy suites. First of all, I have a thing with p DA.
We could talk hours, like, don't touch me, we're in publicly kiss her hotel?
Yeah, I listen, I think.
A little keep things a little spicy and juicy.
Yeah, you chance for spicy, sexy juicy.
Yeah, Okay, let's talk about the fantasy. So I was I didn't feel great well, So most of the time the cameras and I didn't even notice them. A guy, I got super comfortable with cameras, but when like it came to kissing and stuff, they made me very, very uncomfortable. I do not do like public displaced affections. Just I don't like and I didn't come I didn't grow up in a family that that was particularly we weren't a touchy Philly family. So I have like parents that just love me to death, and I always knew that, and I always felt that they My mom and dad didn't hold hands like it wasn't something I knew they loved each other, but it just wasn't their love at all. So and they were very affectionate to my brother and I, but like as a couple, that's not what I grew up with.
So I'm just not that way.
I'm just not like a touchy I'm not always touching him and I'm not holding hands. I don't walk down the street holding his hand and he is a handholder.
So there's all these like things that we have to like, I.
Have to figure I have to be better about because it is his love language, and I have.
To be conscious of that.
Well you mean in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, and yeah we're doing good, We're about here. But come So he stayed with me at Thanksgiving and he'd come down in the kitchen and my kids would be like, I have adult children, like my kids are like in the thirty twenties and thirties, and they would say, so, how do you sleep?
And he'd be like, your mom kept me up all night? Like this is god, oh god, I want to get back to fantasy.
But let's talk about the kiss that you did straight up with the kids there.
You went in for a smooth.
Can believe you did that on So let's talk about that, because now now you know that, like it's not your m O and you're like, how did that go down?
Actually? But you never saw it on the TV on the show. Show is at the hometowns because I had and they told me it's probably the biggest group they've ever had, and we had over thirty family and friends of mine there. So when we walked up, I was holding Jones hand and I gave her a kiss in front of everybody. And it was probably a little selfish, but I wanted him to know that I cared about this person being young, and I thought it was a great introduction. You know, I don't know how you felt.
But how did you feel?
Be honest?
I well, so it was his hometown, so I feel like he was in charge. So up until that point, like I'm in charge of everything. So every day he was about me and me figuring it out and me like telling it so like I loved it that he was in control.
That was a little much for me. I never told him that, but it did.
But I thought, Okay, this is this is how he acts in front of his family friends, So I have to accept that that's the way he is in front.
Of his guys.
It was just a little pack yeah.
No, no, no, no, We're not going for a full on makeout slash.
Maybe I think it's I I find it very endearing and I think that I don't know.
I mean, but are you a PDA person. We've never talked about this. I love a little PDA. Yeah you are.
You're from Missouri. I say, it's a Midwestern thing. I've got a guy that I worked at.
Don't tell me every day.
I'm not married to an Indiana boy. And so I get the Midwest PDA, but.
That is where are you from. I'm from England. Actually it doesn't I.
Lost she didn't lose it, she just doesn't use it.
If I'm not sure, how long have you been in the.
States, I have been so I'm forty and I've been in the States since i was twenty one so but I lived in the States for two years also when I was younger, so about half my life. But I really my best husband and he's all we're both about the PDA, which our kids are not a fan of the Yeah, they're they're like gross, Okay, let's talk about fantasy sweets.
Yeah, because we've been asked, really wants to know about this?
Well, here's why I'm gonna be. I've never had a couple in front of me, and I'm a fan of the show.
I do feel like sexual.
Chemistry is super important, right, and so I oftentimes whenever I'm watching any season, feel like that's the night that they really know because they know waking up like if it was there, if.
It wasn't there, implied that sex has happened.
It's implied that sex has happened. But I'm saying, whatever has happened you know, because they're more intimate than they get to ever be.
You come out.
Chill.
No, you're not chilling, are you kidding? You're going for it. So for me, I was a little different about that.
So I had a hard time picturing like having sex with three different guys in one week.
Yes, sex with two guys and making love with another, but the opportunities on the table because to do it.
Yeah, So I decided, even like before I came on the season, that like that just was not me.
I don't feel comfortable with it.
And so I got about halfway through the season and I was afraid to tell anybody that I didn't want to do fantasy.
You didn't change your mind.
You were like, you know what, three sounds great together.
Try that's going to be so okay, Okay, so you're not so like, I don't think that I want to do three.
But I'm afraid to tell the producers this because I'm afraid they're to be like, oh, that's not how this works. We're not going to or even if they say, okay, like you can do whatever you want, but we're gonna like shoot it, like that's going to happen because this show and I didn't want that either. I wanted I kind of wanted to not necessarily make a statement, but I wanted it to be shown that you don't have to do fantasy suites, Like you can go into fantasy suites and that can be a chance to you know, have like emotional intimacy.
And he was a really no person.
Came important conversations that you you really need to have, but it doesn't need to.
Have to have.
You don't have to have like the physical element of it, so or at least not that much of a physical eliment.
Yeah.
So about halfway through the season, right before we were going to hometowns, I said to my producer we were walking. He was always trying to get his steps in every night, and we get to be like eleven thirties, Like I need two thousand more steps, and I'm so I would go on a walk with him around like the hotel. So we were walking one night and I was like, Bradford, I gotta tell you something. I said, I don't want to do fantasy suites. I said, in fact, I'm not going to. I said, I want to do fantasy suites, but I don't want to have a bed in them.
And he's like, oh, all right, I want to swing. I was yeah, just.
Yeah, yeah, so I I. So he's like, let me talk to like everybody, and he came back like a couple ofays later, he's like, yeah, they're good with it.
That's fine. So what they can't force that. But I wanted it.
To be more than just not like me knowing I'm not doing that and I tell them the guys, I wanted to actually like be a statement, a statement a little bit and not because I felt like I needed to make a statement other than I did want. So I felt the pressure and I'm old. I'm sixty one years old, and I fought the pressure to do this, And I think does everybody feel that pressure? Even the young the younger people feeling that pressure that they need to do this they are, Yeah, I kind of feel like they are. And I was I kind of wanted to just say you don't have to, like, you don't have.
To do that.
So I did you talk to the guys or did you say to the guys like this is yeah the experience, this is not going to be part.
Of this is not gonna be so every night like for those three Fantasy Suite sorry, just have to.
Pass for a second.
Was that a disappointment or a relief or a like because you're on because.
You were Yeah, actually we were at dinner and you've got all these cameras on you, and she goes, I'm doing something different, and I was like, I really appreciated it because I didn't want to think of that, you know, of her being in bed with other people, even if they didn't make love.
Yeah, it's intimate. Is it's very It's always very into my onw the show.
And it's also been an issue with some couples that come off the show that the and it's generally a girl lead with the guy, you know, contestants, and they have a problem. The guys have a problem that she slept with other people. Yes, and that wasn't the reason I didn't do it. I just and whatever anybody else does, if they want to do that, that's not my decision.
That my personal decision. I didn't want to.
So normally, you know, you come to the evening part of the Fantasy Suite Daid and they have the key with the key and my note just said something different, said like in you know, I'd like to spend time with you in the fantasy suite. I want to have conversations, but you know, there's not going to be a bad and there's not going to be like a physical part of this.
Yes, So was there not a physical part of it until the engagement.
Is Did you feel like he was a gamble, like you can get to like.
Throw it out that it wouldn't be sexually compatible.
Yes, because I think.
That that's It's not that it's not that someone's like bad and bed or great and bet or it's just a natural chemistry in the same way a natural kiss has.
Chemistry, which they have.
They just talked about it.
They have that.
But I'm saying that you're getting engaged, You're you're committing to being together without having done that intimate act. Was there any part of you, either of you, that were worried that, like when it came down to it, that would be a bust.
We had a and I won't go into details, but please we had a conversation on at my hometown's on a bus and there weren't any cameras around.
Apparently there's never a second. I know, it's like we're really hot.
And they had like one of those printer buses waiting with some crew in it, and they're like just getting the ban and like, you know, sit there to cool off for a minute.
And we didn't have any cameras on this.
You're like, okay, I got exclusive exclusive what happened?
Yeah, what happened.
So we had we had little, like just normal conversation.
Then he goes, so I just have to how do you feel about sex? I love that conversation.
He's like okay, good, yeah, yeah, And then I'll go ahead and miss is if I get the look, tell me that we're at that stage.
We've been married for like five years. So we do the engagement. We come back and they do a big party for the crew and we kind of busted in you're not supposed to go, and.
We well, we didn't have the key to your room. We had to go get it from your producer.
And it was fun. They were all in there having fun. And the boat. They were taking the boat from Bora Bora back to Tahiti. Because we were flying out in a day or two, we stayed an extra day and the boat was rocky, just like this, and I get seasick and they've got a doctor with you. Twenty four to seven, and he gave me like four doses of Gramma. We got back to the room. I was out, so it did not have I mean it was it was industrial.
Yeah, because I go back to my own room.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
You so we don't just don't let everybody know we don't have a problem.
Okay, they wouldn't let everyone know, but there's not a problem.
It isn't It is an important part of relations, and.
I think that's also important to talk about that on this particular show, just because you know, people look at older people and you know, go, oh, you know they're over that.
It's not true.
To stop you.
You keep saying old, but really, do you really do you see yourself as old?
I don't really, but it is called the Golden Bachelor, and you know there are I'm looking.
At you both in person.
I know, get to be a person A lot of times you do this on I know, I like this so much, so much better. But I mean, I'm looking at people who are super vibrant and engaged and nothing about see together. I'm only saying I'm only going back to it because you've said it twice. I'm just gonna say that in my particular in my opinion, but I.
Understand what you're saying. I mean is you're more ma sure, like you actually.
Are coming into relationships with some experience, whereas I think, you know, whether or not people are trying to become influencers off the show, I don't know.
I can't speak to that, but I think that no.
Matter what you're unless you're a really old soul, if you come at twenty two years of age, you probably haven't had a whole lot of experience.
Well, it was people in general.
What's interesting is I had not I had stopped watching the show for a few seasons because I was like, you know what, they always break up and people are coming on for the wrong reasons. And I got back into it because of the Golden Bachelor, even though they're not together anymore, because I felt like all the contestants I could tell were.
Really in it. I know, in it for the right reasons.
I know it's like the same, but it felt really true. I have a question about kids, because you had gone through the first season and then you came back.
Were they at all.
Afraid that you are going to get your heart broken again?
Yeah? You know, it's funny that your kids. So you take care of your kids, you're their caregiver for so many years. Yeah, and then it evolves in a really weird way and it happens like before you know it, and they start worrying about you, which has never happened before. And this was the first indication that my kids started worrying about me. And maybe a little bit after my husband passed away, like they kind of came a little bit more of the caregiver than the takers. They became the givers, not the takers a little more. Yeah, And when I went on this show, they were worried about it. They know that I'm a really strong person, but they you know, there is an element that they I finally got to a place after John passed away of being comfortable, like not having anks, not crying, not you know, you retreating. I kind of got comfortable in my own skin and in my life, and they didn't want me to go backwards. So this like shaking up your life, like this is a leap of faith because you could go from having a really nice, comfortable life that you really need to shake up, but is it the best life that you could lead? And so by taking the sleep of faith and saying I'm willing to risk it for the reward, risk my comfort, my happiness and being in a good place in life, for a better life, and it could happen.
But that's scary for my kids. It was scary for me, but it was scary for my kids too.
Yeah.
Well, my guess is for your kids, there's a level of exposure.
Yep.
That is just true, unlike any other kind of exposure in.
I mean, I think so often my kids are young, but as they are coming up into social media and everything else where, you're creating your own TV channel for your.
Life, like your little life. It's not being produced by anyone.
And what you put out there is is vulnerable and exposed and someone could take advantage of it, and someone could use it for good, someone could use it for bad. Yeah, And in this case, obviously you're really you are You're really taking a huge leap and putting yourself out there. That's why I asked if you really I think that really believing that there is a prize at the end of it, that there's going to be something that you win, has got to be such a huge piece of it in earnest.
Otherwise it's a huge motivator.
I'm guessing there's probably some predictability that you could do with the couples that have not made it.
Whether or not it's hard sometimes honestly, you watch those like you watch the episode where they reveal the people together, and it really it's you can tell already in that episode that it's not working out. Were there any nights that you went to bed and wondered if there would be no one really at the end of it.
I had one night of angst like that, and it will was right before our final date, and I'd gone on a date with Guy and I had gone on one with Pascal. Pascal self eliminated that night, so he I want to go home? Yes, And I knew that that connection with Guy. I felt like my connection with him was so much better than or deeper than my connection with Guy. And I didn't know if he still felt the same way with.
You, that he was going to self eliminate.
Like I didn't know what his feelins were because didn't see him two weeks. I didn't see him since hometowns.
Herd before that.
But you just know that you just never know because it's two weeks and does a person get cold feet. You're in this bubble.
Do you are you allowed to, especially on overnights, Are you allowed technically to tell the person that you've picked them if you know by that point, or are you advised by the producers to not say anything.
They do not advise you not to say anything. Sweet you can tell. Yeah, I think you knew obviously. I didn't tell him I loved him though until we were on until we got engaged to.
Because you were waiting that.
Are you holding that moment for it then? And did you go into the to the season knowing that you would hold that I love you or just identically.
But I did go into the season saying I'm not going to say I love you to more than one person.
So that brings it all the way to the maturity.
You had some things, and I've seen people do it and it never goes well. So I knew I felt it about him way before I ever said it. But I was like, I am not saying it because you were.
Able to call people at home and be like, oh my god, you're not allowed to take your phone.
They take all your stuff.
Alone with your thoughts.
Yeah, And so that's a big thing about it because you have no friends of your family, like the girlfriend that you would normally talk to a thousand times.
Like he did this, Tell me, what do you think?
I don't like his Why did you wear that shirt?
Bottom of It was a hard watching the season back because you.
Watch it, yes, about half of it, okay.
Only half? Okay, Yeah, because you referenced and.
The reason why we've been so busy.
Yeah.
I was especially fear you're a little jealous when you see the connections that she has with people, because.
Some people don't watch it back.
I hear there's reasons they don't. But it was interesting because, like Jones said earlier that even though I was living it, I didn't see how the dates went, Like George is a good buddy of mine. Yeah, and he came back and he goes, I fell on the ice. And when I saw it on TV, I was like, that's a bad crash. And because Jonathan, you'd think he could ride a horse. Last time he was on a horse, he was six years old. It was a pulley and the guy goes, guy goes back, and he goes and I gotta do is cook? And he goes, I don't cook.
So you picked these guys for days, and I kind of picked them based on Like, so Jonathan, he's from Iowa. I'm like, of course, ride a horse. Now you get there and I'm like, and I'm kind of afraid of horses.
I don't really love them. And it's kind of a typical date. They do them.
Every Bachelor season. You gotta do the horseback riding date. And I was like, really, we have to do it, and they're like, yeah, we always do it. So we're out there, We're on this mountain. There's rattlesnakes. They have a rattlesye handler like in the bushes and it's hot, and I'm like, okay, so we're gonnade horses, you know.
And I was like, so I'm counting on you.
You know.
He's like, I haven't ridden a horse since I was six years old.
I was like, we we just go home now. This is a terrible date.
And then and then the same thing with Jordan's you know, he's from Chicago. I'm like, of course he goes out of ice skating into the place. Then an ice skated since he was twelve.
So you guys have been very busy since the finale, and now it's the holiday season. It sounds it seems like you're kind of going out and around everywhere. When will you all get to now live your life?
I know, take a deep breath and live our lives. So yeah, it has.
Been because you're in Maryland and you're in Kansas, you're talking about a place in New York.
But when do you get to just what are you done with the.
All the hype? Yea, yeah, all the press, all the.
Soon actually, so I feel like we have probably the rest of the December, when we don't have any TV stuff we have to do, like I have some interviews in Maryland. He has some in Kansas, but not stuff together, and then I'm going to Kansas finally on the eighteenth of December, just like kind of spend some time with his family and friends, which I've met a lot of them. So we had a big party after the finale. The night of the finale, we had like a big kind of engagement party. There were like two Huner people there, whole a bunch of his friends flew in from Kansas, so I've met a lot of them, but I'm going to spend some time there.
So that's gonna be a little bit of downtime.
Then he's coming to Maryland for Christmas, and then we're hopefully maybe found a place in New York. We're working on it today.
With you both have jobs that you were able to put on hold while you did the show.
Right, So yeah, he's he's on the phone all the time with his job now, but for the seven weeks he didn't do that much.
He could have his shone every once.
Well, yeah, I sure, And I've got a good staff, a couple of small businesses, so good people handling it amazing great.
So was everyone geeking out from your work that you're on the show when you got picked?
No, it's just there like.
Of course he got picked.
Of course it's interesting because when I came back and again I'll ramble when I came back there, like can.
You go away?
Yea?
How do you guys feel about a Golden Bachelorette televised wedding.
That's a good question, is saying now your face is saying maybe, yeah, I want to see it.
But I understand like wanting to keep this now private.
Yeah, so I have like the bote those thoughts.
So you know, I thought I just wanted to be our family and friends and just be intimate and just us, you know, being a couple, only not a couple that everybody is watching.
Yeah, just us.
And then like the thought has gone through into my head now that I've seen people's reactions to the show and how and how much hope.
It's given people, and I feel like leaving them.
Like right at the curb, right when they get to see maybe what the real finale is, Like a wedding.
Is not the right thing to do.
That it would do you get paid if you do a wedding, Like is that like a performance situation or is it?
I don't know, Just you don't know.
Okay, I know Bachler's have been paid. I know Trista and Ryan were paid.
That was a lot of years ago, the licensey rights to their wedding.
Yeah, well I don't know what they're paid for, but I know they got paid. You know what I don't know about if they still do that?
No, because I love I'm you should ask her. I'm in the mode of like, I'm all for hope. I mean, I have deep, deep wells. I'm I hope to have an incredible practice of gratitude and hope and optimism. And I think that I do live that every day and I look at people and I'm like, oh, well, there's.
An exchange of value.
And so you guys are this is on some level, there's there's a job to it.
And in a.
Wedding like that, it's not it's not for you, it's not an intimate.
Well I know.
A little bit of its giving up the control. Yeah, because between the two of us we can throw one hell of a party.
I don't think you owe anything else to anybody, no at all. I have to ask because this question came up a lot with the Call It crew because we put out questions about you guys, and they want to know if you guys have talked about a peanut, which is a conversation that every age talks about.
Yeah, I mean we've talked finances and stuff like that.
Yeah, both of us are fun with it.
Yeah, and have you done like the normal things, because are like do you know, like it's funny like when you're when.
You're dating and you're in the real world, you're like, you know, how like if someone likes to use their freaking flyer miles, or like they like it's over visa, or if they like what I.
Want to know, do you know about which side of the bed?
No? No, no?
Oh, And I was a creep. I mean, the half the free world thought I was a creep for asking her that question. I tell her I'm trainable or I'm trained because the guy gets second choice on which side of the.
Bed always the girl that closest to the bathroom.
Of course, or when you have kids, closest to the.
Door, two girls.
If it's my husband likes to be closest to the door because of like he feels like if they're you know, alarm.
With like you know, i'd like, Yeah, I think it's if I can't, I'll go back to that question. Yeah, I think it's different when you're mature. But mature because we both lived these lives and we've been through so much of that. We talked a little bit financial before before the end, so we knew where each other stood. But you know, as far as the cards and all that stuff, we just it's just so easy for us. When you're twenty to thirty years old, it's a whole different thing.
It's so true, you guys, I have to say, I am I'm fully back in to the Bachelor Agination, Bachelor Nation I've always been part of Bachelor Nation.
You know, I went to a require this isn't ex I think this isn't.
Let's be fair, this is an exceptional no.
But that's that was such a huge fan that I went in the audience and watched.
I don't even remember what season was it was. It was freezing cold in that audience. By the way I.
Saw you in the audience of Dancing with the Stars was twice so fun.
She loves the stars. Go go be in the audience.
But somebody fully back in because of you, guys. I feel like there's so much chemistry between you. There's so much When you guys walk like, I'm like, it feels like you've known each other for like ten years.
It was crazy. We're so comfortable each other, it's insane.
So this process works in age and I know.
Here is done.
We've done nothing, but I'm gonna work. I dropped the Mike walk out in Romances. Congratulations. You the crew are like so excited to have had a million questions.
I wish we could get through.
Yeah, and we can't wait to see the wedding maybe or not maybe or whatever you.
Want whatever something I know, if you want to invite.
I'll bring my dress.
For the invite.
The study, didn't Juliane have to do a dance dancing with the stars contestants. That's the next thing I want to be congratulations.
Well yes, you heard it here first ABC. We need her on.
Please the congratulations, guys, congratulation.
Thank you, thank you, guys, thank you, thank you.
So let's call that the end of the episode.
