Call It With Chyler Leigh

Published Dec 9, 2024, 5:00 AM

Call It A Grey Sloan Memorial reunion! Jess & Camilla get the tea on Chyler’s least favorite storyline while also discussing her experience with perimenopause and feeling foreign in her own body. Plus, find out if she could do it all over again, would she still choose McSteamy? 

Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington, an iHeartRadio podcast. Well, Hello, Hello, hello everybody, Hello, Call It.

Crew, and welcome to a really.

Special episode of Call It What It Is with Kyler Lee.

I just right off the bat.

A lot of times we'll tee it up and we'll be like, but this is just an episode with Kyler Lee. I'm so happy you're here.

I'm so happy that you asked me to be here.

I'm live in person to look at your beautiful face in so long.

I know, we get to me for the first time, and fans the reason why I'm geeking out, we'll talk about this, but I'm a fan of you for a million years. And then when I got on the show, everyone has always said that Lexi and Joe would have been really fun friends, and we never got to play on screen together.

And so even when I came back as a little dead, like.

Yes, I still I was not allowed on that beach.

And and so to get to see you right now is like, it's very strange for me, like I'm fangirling, but it feels like I know you too, and it's just very cool.

And I am it's funny. I just saw you outside and then now sitting with you, I mean we did.

We did.

We've not just done one show together.

We've done two shows together.

Yes we have.

Yeah, and that's crazy. Like forever, a really long time we were I know this. You guys want the practice together too. For how many seasons I did one, Well, there was there was we can, we.

Can, we can, we can put it in a little and it's not it'll never be a SoundBite, but the quickest way that I would. So I came onto the practice I think season six, and then I believe you came in towards the am I making it up? You came in towards the end of that.

Yeah, yes, as this as a guest star. We were both sort of like these like full of.

Moxie younger you know, because the show had lawyers that were, you know, in one age range and they were starting to have kids and be adults, and we were kind of like a younger generation.

We came in and then my memory was that we.

All got taken to New York City for upfronts, which is like the big marketing branding you know, sell ad dollars type thing, and we all got.

Pulled out onto the stage.

We did the whole thing, the show, the whole thing, and then and then we went to.

The restaurant and do you remember what was in the basement.

It was a shooting range in the restaurant. It was was phenomenal Italian restaurant. We went, We had like seventy four courses. It was insane and it was and then afterwards like a come along like drinking. Yeah, well I didn't because I was pregnant. Yeah she was pregnant.

You were pregnant.

I don't think there was a ton of drinking, but no, it was a club because it definitely felt like it had.

A member's vibes.

Yeah, okay, so yeah, so.

We finished our seventeen course meal.

Yeah, and then what and then and then we go downstairs and we just let it rip for a little while.

And shooting range, then range, but then guns.

But then we was did we go to leave the next day? I remember being in the cab and with with my manager at the time and getting the phone call and they were like, so listen, the show is going to be renewed for another season. However, we're going to be letting six I think it was six characters go.

That were in New York City that we literally were just up fronts.

We were just on the stage like him excited about the new season. Oh my god, it's going to be amazing, like I don't know. Twelve hours later in the car going.

What yeah, yeah, like six of us go yeah.

They're like they're like, thank you so much, really appreciate you. Why did I come then? Yeah?

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was yeah that it was wild and I ended up somehow staying and I just kept hearing about and I remember my cell phone died, and I remember going to this one place to to like not that they have them anymore, but it was a payphone. I went to the one I knew, and I remember calling Marla Sokoloff and saying, what is going on? Like I don't understand, like there's I'm hearing these things, but I'm getting these messages on my cell phone died, what's happening? And she told me, and I was it was pretty gosmacked. And that was when the practice ended up then turning into Boston Legal, which.

Was a show that remember it, Yeah, see that's where we first met. But I remember being young and fun.

And I just remember that we were.

I just did, like I just always always.

I think people say this, and maybe it's too broad away to say it, but I think that, like, especially in our business, there's this idea that actresses are a certain way, or that they're like gamy, or that they're looking over their shoulder, or there's some competition that's implied to being in business together. And I never felt that in my own life, and so I never felt it with you. And I always remember coming you coming in and they're being like a real like it gives me goose. It's like a sister ship and like a taking care and all that. So then when I ended up then coming to grays and you were there, it was.

Like, wait, what here we are? You had the job and I was a guest star and there we.

Were in your in your Heelings.

Ye in my Little Heelings for my three episode guest star.

But it was adorable. It was pretty cute. No thing, no you're you coming in was so iconic. That whole relationship with you and Soda like that was just yeah, it was good love.

It was really good. When I started the show, I heard that because you had just left right so you so the we don't want, we don't like to talk about the plane crash episode because everyone's traumatized. But I came on after and I thought, this is a crazy way to come on because we're losing such iconic characters from the show.

This is a little bit scary.

And everybody talked about how truly incredible you were as a cast member. And we're talking about, like crew always know crue on TV shows, like your reputation really sits with the crew because they see you every day. Not every actor sees you every day, but the cameraman does your makeup, artists, like everyone just could not say like they just were in love with you and so.

Sad that you were leaving. And one thing that I kept being told always.

Which we just talked about, is how incredible you were both comedy and drama on the show, and how you were just there was nothing that those writers wouldn't want to write for you. It's like I felt in the early days and I was having to, like, you know, like just I was so desperate for any storyline and it just felt like you were always an actress that they adored. And so one of my questions is going back. I know it's a long time ago, but when you think about the show, did you know how loved you were on set?

I mean, yes, I did. I definitely felt that. I hope to answer that without it sounding like no, no.

No, no, but no, we like on this on our show.

We liked to we like to own all our stuff, so you can be like, yeah, I rocked it, like everyone loved me on the show.

ID Yeah, No, I just I loved being there. I loved the opportunity unity. We had so many wonderful people that we were working with. It was stressful, it was exhausting.

You were babies.

I was having babies, and yeah, I was probably the whole fifth season of the show. I had Annie ten days after we wrapped Wow, and it was just like so coming back with her. She was only I think nine weeks old by the time I came back.

I remember the trailers just she would always be there.

No, it's hard having baby's the only show for Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely, But I know I I appreciate that. I really appreciate that, especially with the crew, because I mean, we're nothing without our crew, and I genuinely like I will always go like above and beyond to tell our crew and let them know that it's so important. Yeah. So when Yeah, when I when I went to leave, it was it was bittersweet. I mean, for sure it was a family to at the time.

Is there any part of you now the wishes that you had stayed for longer or do you feel like it was still like the right moment.

I feel like it was the right Yeah. And when when I had had the conversation with Shonda about about leaving, we were just trying to figure out a really great way for it to happen and for for Lexi to go and reading it was like any part of.

You the wishes that she hadn't died, because like, you know, Jessica had left a show and she's come back on the show, and it would have opened kept the door more open.

Yeah, is there any part of you?

But I mean it was such an iconic moment and awful but amazing and drama and sad, So it's hard to think.

I kind of got that redemption during the whole COVID situation for Meredith and like kind of coming back for that moment. And when I got reached out to for to come back in that episode, I was filming Supergirl in Vancouver, yes, and it was legit COVID, and so weeds started filming on the show again, but no one could leave Canada.

Like you heard, it was tough to get you.

Yeah, it was really tough because I was filming NonStop, like every day. But then the issue was if I went across the border and then came back, I would have to quarantine to two weeks, and it was like, there's no way that we could do it. So everything that I filmed was on my own in a totally different sound stage with like the blue screen behind me. So I'm pushing Meredith on like a an invisible Meredith. And I never felt so ridiculous.

In my whole life having.

To just do I mean, and granted, look, I was working on a superhero show, so it's like you already can feel pretty ridiculous. This was right up there. This was right up there. But I'm glad that it touched people, oh that it was really well received, and I felt like it was a nice bit of closure for me, you know, all this year ys later to be able to come back in a really lovely way, and yeah, I was really greatful.

And during a time where people were really looking for something to look forward to and to see that felt cozy and familiar and that they loved. So yeah, I remember when I was there, we would have table reads where we would read, you know, the new script, and I remember that as much as I knew that it was a lot on you, and I knew for myself when it was when you were in every day, it was exhausting and stressful and everything else, but you always wanted the as an actor, you wanted the best storylines, and I remember you getting the best storylines, and it was because again, you were equally fastile at comedy and drama. And also I kind of remember that, like, was every guy in the hospital in love with you?

Yeah? Did you?

Did you actually see?

Were you also in love with her? At some point?

I only had eyes for kids?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, but truly.

Uh. Well, when I first came on the show, the very first episode, which then led into the second episode, I was hitting on on MC dreamy in the at a bar for a funeral and I came in it and everybody, I mean, they called me the worst. Like I was. I was like mc fluddie, I was like everybody. They hated me because I was the girl. Remember it was in the beginning. I mean they're like, oh my god, she's trying to get you know, she's a home wrecker, trying to get in between you know, Meredith and Derek. And and then the next episode.

Was I'm Lexi, I'm your sister, and I was like, whoa.

It was crazy. And then yeah, after that, I started as a regular on season season four. But it was wild because before coming on the show, I mean, I came in the last two episodes of season three and that's when a lot of all the crazy shit went down. So I came in the act left to uh and they didn't tell anybody that I was coming in as Lexi. So the thing was as you know, it's like the scripts. You didn't read them until you got to the table, so everything was cold, so you had no idea what was happening. And and some people would just be like killed off and you find that out, like and you sit there and you feel, you know, it's not many.

Yeah, it was not funny. It has changed now now we get them ahead of time. But when I started this was the same. It was terrifying. That's good, And there was when I started I remember there being a rule where you couldn't even like sit with your script and quickly go through and look for your stuff. No, that was like a to me, that was like a I was told that was a no no wow, that I couldn't.

Even you die essentially, Yeah, but I remember a couple times sitting next to you, and you and I having such young children and are being pregnant and are being pregnant with young children. We werely equally thrilled to have the work and also maybe not have the work.

Right when you were working, you loved your storylines.

You were so excited, but then also when you weren't in a script so much, you were like, this could be great. Yeah, I could sleep, I could sleep and that would be good. Okay, the love interest, let's go, because well, the big joke on this on the in this dialogue when we talk about Grays is that I really do have a good memory, but evidently not so much for Grace and Animated.

This is the backstory.

She'll have a memory, she'll be like, oh my god, that episode that I wasn't in that, and then the fans will pull up that she was the main It was like a standalone episode with Arizona, and so her memory is novel.

Anyways, So your love interests were, who were they? Know what I'm saying, Well that more than one there was.

There was a moment where Lexi was absolutely like in love with love with George. Yeah that's my thought, okay, and then also going Alex krav.

Yeah, everybody loves Lexi.

I remember, remember now you know, it's a good thing we weren't on the show at the same time.

Friends, maybe we wouldn't have George.

Alex.

Who did you have to make out with on the show? Do you remember George?

No? I never kidd no, we just like did I think I kissed him on the mouth like.

Like a pack like a pack? Yeah, not a makeout.

No, made out with.

Alex.

And then of course so rude, I know somebody else I thought there was maybe because remember didn't you cheat on Mark with someone Alex?

Oh?

That was that makes sense?

That would make sense organically that Alex is the person that you tee with.

Yea is that on brand? Yeah?

Yeah, again my memory is you know what it is. I just remembered that the season that you knew that Lexi was going to die, I was on the plane as well, and it was my contract negotiation, my contract negotiate, contract negotiation here, and my head.

Was on the chopping black. Oh my gosh, that's.

Right, A terrible expression.

But I was.

I was in I was.

It was I had been told that my character was in limbo and that like they were going to figure out contracts and money and and maybe I would come back and maybe. So when the plane crash episode left us in the woods, you did.

I'm laughing through your death.

I'm really not meaning to laugh, but you did die, and I might die.

I could have died. Oh god, instead I lost my leg.

You lost your leg?

Have you watched that episode since it aired?

I watched it when it aired and then I never watched it again.

Was it super traumatic to watch it?

It was super traumatic to film it, and then to go back through it was like I was like, Okay, that's I'm I'm good. We're good. Yeah.

If you could go back for LEXI, would you still pick McSteamy for her?

Yeah?

You feel like they were a good fit.

I feel like they were. I feel like they really were.

Oh my god.

Yeah, the fans are gonna I can just hear them ying.

I know.

Yeah, I know they I know, I know, I know.

Well because it was just that it was that yin and that yang. It was a completion, there was a each one rounded out the other.

Yeah, yeah, oh.

When you okay.

So Jessa's talked about this many times where she auditioned multiple times.

For the show before she came on the show.

So for people that don't know, how did you end up as Lexi Gray on Gray's Anatomy?

I had just had my daughter, so Tailan, she's eighteen no, wow, yeah, wild Well my son is twenty one?

Yes on the practice, Yes, I did.

Yeah, twenty one and fifteen Yeah Annie Annie.

Who I had no But how old were you when you had Noah?

Was twenty one when I had Noah?

Oh my god.

So okay, that was on the practice. That's the babies.

That's insane, babies having babies, Yeah is what it was. So I had just had Taylan, so she was only like a few months old, and I got a call. I was, this is funny, I'll try top. I was living in Alaska, Okay, because that's where my kid's father's from. Ok So we were up there. I had Taylan. I get a phone call from my manager because I was taking some time off Oka and I get a phone call from my manager at the time and she's like, hey, holy Rob Corn. So one of our executive producers I had worked with on another show and had said that show it was called Boys, Girls Club Girls, and so he's he had talked to Shonda about me because they were looking for the Lexi Gray character and and whatnot. And so he ends up calling my manager saying, hey, we'd love to have Kyler come and meet Shonda and meet Linda Lowie and then meet Krista Vernoff. And no, no, at the time, it was Betsy Beear's. It wasn't it wasn't Christa, and so they just wanted to do a general meet. And I'm thinking, this is Craze anatomy. Yeah, like what yeah, yeah, And and to be honest, like I'd only seen like a few episodes of it, so then it was like but I knew that it was like everything. So then I started binge watching everything and then I'm going, oh my god, Okay, I'm gonna go down. So I was meeting and I sat in the room with them for like I don't know, maybe forty five and he knew it.

Was for a gray.

No, oh, you did not. I didn't know anything.

Okay, okay, okay, I had no idea.

It was just like, you're not even reading.

No, God, Okay, see, this is why I'm jealous of her, to see what she gets cirved now.

It was so I So we sat and we just talked about life. I talked to them about like I just had my daughter and and I'm living in Alaska, and they were just kind of like, who are you? And I was like, I don't know, just me. And so then I go and I drive back to where my manager was, and on the drive they called and said that we want Kyler to come in. We want to bring her in for the last two episodes of season three as a guest star only, but then we want to have her as a regular starting episode one season four. Okay.

I just want to point out to people listening that this is highly irregular.

Highly irregular. This does not it doesn't happen. No.

Normally, you would be asked to come in for a castinger to first, and then maybe you'd make it to the producers, and then you would hopefully make it to the showrunner, and then they would ask for the studio and the network to look at you and a lot, and then they would bring you on for the couple episodes and then if you'd worked out, then you might be offered a regular role.

So you got all this I've never heard, I've never heard of casting story on this on this Yeah, it was.

It was. It was extremely overwhelming and wild, and I couldn't tell anybody. And so when I came in on the show for that table read, for my very first table read, everybody's like, oh, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, it's so great, and I'm glad.

At that point you knew that you were.

I knew you.

They didn't know. The did not nobody.

My last I think the last scene that I had on that season finale was me saying, you know, I'm Lexi, Lexi Gray. And then that's when, like, you know, I remember, I remember Ellen looking over going.

I was like, hi, guys here for a while.

Yeah, it was, Yeah, it was insane, and I couldn't tell anybody for yeah, like through four or five months, I couldn't say anything to anybody because you were like sworn, like you know, oh.

There's a definite seriousness to like your responsibility is at grace. It's like you do you take it very seriously what you say.

Oh yeah, so I realize and I recognize how like astounding that is, Like I I will always be grateful for that, no matter what. Of course. Yeah, and it's it doesn't happen. I'm glad that you said that, because yeah, it was. It was very Kismodi University meant to be that whole thing.

Okay, I'm just grateful to watch you on it.

I know I can't say it.

I have I have fangirl questions.

What was your favorite and least favorite storyline on the show?

For Lexi, I just.

Thought of one.

I thought of one to break the penis storyline?

Is your favorite?

No, no, no, it twas not my favorite.

And I remember having.

To read at the table rate no idea it was coming. You had no idea what was happening. You're reading it, and I remember shrinking in my chair and it stri going up in front of my face because it was like a fire ris bloodbread. Yeah yeah, yeaheah. It was mortifying, absolutely mortifyed geez like favorite, Oh that's tough.

Or favorite moment on the show.

I woulden diaper we're in the diaper for the really long st The.

Diaper was really great. Also, another thing that I did not appreciate was having because I was pregnant, we had to explain why Lexi was gaining weight. So we all of a sudden made the storyline that I remember nervously ate.

Yes, I had every time she got stressed. Yeah, I feel like that wouldn't happen now. No, it wouldn't happen now.

I don't think that happened now.

It shouldn't happen then.

No, but it was what it was. Yeah, and so that was That was a little rough, but I did. I understood. I got it. But I had to eat seventeen Reese's peanut buttercups what in a scene? Because it was during the scene. I couldn't spit back.

Oh no, you had to flat. Oh you had to eat.

The seventeen of them.

So, just so we're clear, gross, Jessica Kepsha would have found a loophole in this.

Just so we're clear, Kyler Lee would not.

Because Kyler Lee is a committed actress. I wouldn't figure out, I'm gonna like, I'm gonna see. No, Kyler would never have done that you were also, so I talk about how Chandra and also Sarah Drew are like low key annoying to me because they're always.

Right about stuff street to know.

Like they're always like, oh, continuity, like you got to do the thing that you were doing last time, Like your hair doesn't look the same or.

What Jessina doesn't care about contuity.

Or whatever we're paying attention to that I'm not being do my job.

It is true, It's true, very true. Okay. Favorite moment on the show.

One of my favorite moments was early on when George and Lexi were gonna move into an apartment together in a non romantic way she thought it was. And so all of a sudden, you know, Lexi decides, well, we've got to spruce this place up. So I want to find like things to put into the apartment, but had no money, so started stealing things from the hospital, so stealing potted you know, flowers that someone had left in the room, or like literally like medical supplies, paintings off the wall. Like it was one of the moments that they gave me like run with it, like half none of it. And I feel like that for me kind of opened me up a little bit more to feel more confident being there and among such amazing people in this massive show, because so much of it, I'm just sitting here and like, what am I doing here?

That's how I fun?

Why did they pick me? What am I doing here?

Yeah?

And so it didn't. It took me a while to not think that I was going to be fired every episode.

I think that's a common I think that everybody, A lot of people report.

I mean, I think it's just.

It's such an established show and everyone had been on for so long, and it just felt it felt very intimidating to me.

Yeah, but I think there were also there were people that were let go.

Yeah, well, I.

Mean that's do you know that it could happen. You remember there being a whole thing about getting a chair? You know that there were some people that bought like.

Yes, yeah, Chandra had a chair, and so did Sandra had a chair?

What do you mean a chair?

Like getting their own cast chare.

Oh with the name on that's like the more the so like it's like.

But the ones that have like the little yeah, yeah you can't.

Do that because yeah, yeah you.

I heard well listen listening. There are legends when you come on our show. There are like myths right that, like if you come on and you buy your own chair, that is the.

Okay, I'm going to say it, so yes, I think the last person that bought a chair was.

Like, oh, you don't have to say who it is, but.

Yes, she was let go. And so everybody was like.

Yes, yes, don't buy the chair.

And she had just bought the chair, and Trulie like had just come in there and they're they're sorry, just to be clear, they're personal expenses. You would buy an up Yes, there would be an up charge for really nice chair, probably like five hundred and six hundred bucks.

And yeah, she bought it.

And then she was says, why I don't decorate my trailer my trailer. I took over Eric's Eric Danes trailer when I started, and it is the same trailer from thirteen years ago, and I have not decorated it and made it all fancy because I hear that when you do.

That, that's, you know, could also be a kiss of death.

It's a case of death, Yes, vowels divorced, it's that.

It's that.

Yeah, okay, mm hmm, yeah, no, I get it.

I mean there was there was. It was.

It was just such a it was such a popular show. It was there was so much happening. Yes, there were a lot of like that. The stakes were high, and I think then because people started watching it on the streaming it it literally never let go of its hold.

Do you find that you're still approached NonStop for the show more than anything because you've worked solidly, like for so long, more than anything.

It's grace and and it would be probably Supergirl, Supergirl, not another teen movie.

Okay, yeah, finally it finally gets to Finally I get my time to shine, you guys, because as we were sitting here, Jessica was like, don't even like save it because I was geeking out Kyler before she was on Grays.

How old were you when you did not another teen movie?

Eighteen?

It is Halen's age, you guys. It's the fucking best.

So it is.

I'm not kidding.

It's it's so fucking funny, and it's it's still amazing.

I watched it. I've watched it in the last couple of years.

Oh my god.

It makes fun So for people that don't know this movie, it makes fun of like all those teen two thousands movies.

What was it?

Is it?

What is it?

She's all that, She's all things I hate about you and you.

The best part is that Kyler was cast as the typical nerdy girl who was actually just really hot and had glasses. But you were so funny in that movie. Was that your first big role? And how?

Because that was a big studio movie, right.

We filmed it took us forty eight days to film it. A lot of us. It was like our first big thing, especially for Chris and I Evans. Chris Evans, So let me tell you about auditioning for that though, Okay, I want to hear nine times thank you? Really more and more and more and more, people like I think we auditioned for people that weren't even anything to do with the movie. I thought, get it by that by that auditioned nine times together, because they didn't. They just we were unknowns, yeah, you know at that point. And originally I had actually I went in and read for the character that Lacey Shaver ended up playing. Oh yes, so it was only supposed to be like so.

Lacey ends up playing basically she had an incredible like teen movie where she walks in She's like the teen princess and yeah, but yeah, so she Lacey got that role, which is kind of funny because they had worked together in the past.

That was good that that's the role.

I went in for audition interesting and then I read role yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and I read with Joel Gallen who is the director, and he looked at me and he's like, hm, I don't think this is gonna work. And I was like said, I was.

Like, oh, I'm so sorry because no, no, no, no no, I want you to read for Janie and handed me twelve pages of you know, of our sides and I was like, he's like, can you come back tomorrow.

I was like, you can't do it now. Janie says, you can't do that now. Yeahs okay.

Yeah.

So then I went in and auditioned and and then it was just we had just had to keep going in improve, proo, proof, proof, But then we got it and we were like, you guys, by that point we basically you had the whole movie, yeah, memorized.

Yeah, essentially, And you said your son just watched this movie.

He watched it like a year ago or something, and it just makes me go back and think of all the stuff that's in that movie, and I'm not appruved. My son, like whatever, it just hit me where it was like so gross said the same thing. He was like, He's like, Mom, I had no idea it was you until I saw the credits at the end, and then I felt really uncomfortable.

There's an American Pie element.

Now if you watch American Pie, it's like, so you can't believe that ever air?

What got me?

Why did that happen?

It was no, I was seriously and you were so funny in that movie that I'm not surprised that you did comedy on very funny. You were very funny. If you could do one thing moving forward, because we're going to get to your project that you're on right now. But if you could do one thing, would it be another movie like that? Another comedy?

I want to be a villain, man, you do. I want to be a villain like I want to play the bad guy.

Yeah, for sure.

I want to be a wish or like.

Gap And you're very very cool, and I'm thinking maybe I don't know.

I think I get it. I would buy it. I buy you as a villain. I honestly don't think there's anything you can't do.

Yeah, I've been.

I actually had a front ro seat for a long time, just established so I'm I'm a big bully rid.

I don't think there's anything you can't do.

So great. I'm leaving this room feeling so.

You should, honestly, because it's you.

It's really real.

Your reputation is like King Stellar. Okay, let's talk about the project you're on now.

Though, yes, Okay, we'll talk about my jealous later, be jealous lator.

Okay, So you work with Andy Andy McDowell.

Anny McDowell, who plays my mom on the show.

That's good casting.

By the way, I could see that she's like one of I've never met this women I've ever met and or worked with in my life. Like, she is so cool, and she's so quirky and eccentric and all these wonderful things that you want her to be, and she's just lovely and kind and like it's been it's been really wonderful for me to have her to talk to and to just kind of be able to have like that mom figure.

Yeah.

The really wild thing about this show is that it is so much life imitates art and very cathartic for me in what way in the way that the character. So my character, I play Andy McDowell's daughter, and then I also play a mom, so I'm in the middle generation, and the two myself and my mom haven't spoken to each other after like a really terrible family tragedy happens, end up kind of like falling apart, falling away from each other for about twenty years. And I had the same thing with my mother, So I haven't spoken to or seen my mother in twenty years. And then I also have teenage daughters. So in the show, I have a seventeen sixteen year old daughter had gotten together with the father of our child as a teenager, essentially like a long time together. Yeah, Like there were just all these it was mirroring, like, yeah, synchronicities that were coming up, and I was like, wow, this is like that's kind of you know, it's kind of wacky. And originally when I first got called about it, because this was after COVID, everything was on tape, and it was like, oh my god, I feel like I'm the worst actor ever because when you try to self tape, yeah, and you look at yourself and it takes you four hours because you're just like I'm a piece of shit.

Yeah, this is the reality.

Now we have to like tape our auditions in our home and we'd get to watch it back, which is horrified.

Oh god, I don't watch back.

No, it's just awful. It's awful.

You're like, how can I light my double chant? It's really exciting, That's how I feel.

No, it's terrible.

Are they going to notice just how much light is?

Yeah, we just pumped it up a little bit?

Balls yeah no, yeah, no, it's horrifying.

No, okay, it was rough. And so I was submitting tapes and I was just like, I don't I don't think I'm ever going to work again. I feel like I'm awful. And then I get a phone call from my manager. My manager says, you know, hey, we got a call. We have an offer on the table for you. And I was just like, okay, like what are we doing? Tell me about and I'm back. And then initially I was she my manager says, Joni. She says, so hear me out, and I was like okay, okay, okay, where are we going with this? And she goes it's Hallmark, And initially my first thought was like okay, okay, like feed me a little bit more, like I, yes, I want to know, because all I really knew Hallmark for was the Christmas movie yeah, and like the hallwrite stuff, and I hadn't seen any of the series or anything like that, and I just didn't I didn't see Hallmark as like a series kind of network at that time. And so I was like, I was like, okay, all right, and Jonie was like, just trust me, Like this is like nothing you would know from Hallmark like ever, And so I want you to talk to the showrunners who happened to me Mother Daughter team and phenomenal. And so Jonie sends me, She's like, I'm going to send you the first two scripts. I want you to read it and then call me back right away because I really want to talk to you about it. And I was like okay. She seems like super hyped about this, and I was like okay, and I trust Jonie. Yeah, And so I read them and it was it was mind blowing, like reading it and going, wait, this is what like it? There was so much to it and it was so beautifully done and so beautifully written, and these characters were so rich, but it was like gritty almost it was. It was like raw, emotional, deep dark stuff, not pretty things. Yeah, and for what people knew Homemark Bee, like you you knew you could always count on there being a heart behind it, right, There's certain things that there is sentimentality. Absolutely, there's certain things that we feel about Hallmark that yeah, you can sit and you know you're gonna be able to walk away and feel good.

This is like, this is it.

It was heavy, it was intense, it's time travel, it's you know, these beautiful just profoundly deep relationships within the family, but just like brokenness, a lot of brokenness. And so I and I was like, this is absolutely fantastic, And so I called and I spoke to the showrunners and we had like an hour and a half conversation. They were just like, we really want to break the mold here. We really want to take this and have an opportunity to turn the network on its head for what it's most known for and show them what we're capable of. And it's just like it was awesome because it gave us a chance to kind of like really like flex our muscles and like what we can Almost initially started out what can we get away with? Yeah, you know, and you're kind of where we were pushing boundaries. We were doing, you know, these these largely emotional, like traumatic scenes that a lot of the people that had worked on you know, the other shows or the films and whatnot, we're going holy like this is, this is. I had someone and say like, did you just release some demons? And I was like, yeah, I think I did. Actually it was really great, thank you.

Yeah.

And it just has been this beautiful journey of just pushing, pushing the boundaries and making things as real and authentic and not giving a shit what you look like when you're crying, because coming off of Grays, it's like it was such.

A beauty show.

Even though it was a doctor show, it was still like everybody looks We're walking around and everybody's ridiculously gorgeous and beautiful, and for me, in a sense, it was like, ooh, I have to maintain being pretty. I have to maintain that. And then I go on to a superhero show and it's like lots of makeup and like all this stuff, and I just had this image in my head where I was like, oh my god, like wait, they want me to just wear mascara and it's like some concealer and what I'm like, No, I'm gonna look horrible. So I had to really grow yeah inside, like my heart, my mind, my spirit, my soul had I had to do a lot of growing, and I had gained weight over the years. Like forty two, I hit perry menopause pretty fucking quick.

We need to do Ale episode on paramenopause because I just heard about it and I turned forty.

I'm like, oh, it's.

Common, it's pretty, it's pretty rude, it's yeah, everybody's got their own stories whatever. But it started to hit and all of a sudden, I'm just this whole version of me. That's like what happened. And I felt like a foreigner, but I was able to. I was surrounded by so many people that just loved me and cared about me and didn't give a shit about any of that. Like it had no context. It was just no, just go and be you know, just be you, like, go and be you and be real and and watch what it does for you. Ah you just like and it like there was like a liberation that happened. And I still struggle with with you know, how I look and things change and you know, it's it is what it is, but but it gave me like this sense of h yeah, yeah, like okay, I actually I feel good about who I am and who I'm growing to be, kind of almost having like a do over at forty two. Yeah, like okay, this is like there's a lot in here that I need to work on. But I feel like it was sort of like the the diving board for me to just enter this whole new part of my life. And so with this show, with the castmates, the work that we're doing really genuinely has been healing Kyler like me as a person and has helped me, you know. Also with I'm Able to do, it's like a little bit of comedy things here and there, like in the show like we keep it. It's also there's lighthearted moments of course because.

Balanced right yeah yeah, yeah.

But it really just gave me, like I don't know, some I'm gonna say some balls, like to just to just say, okay, I had the courage just live you. Yeah, it gave me the courage. Gave you the courage, which was like a really big which this.

Is so funny because I'm listening to you and I I think recently, I have been saying to myself and to others, like in my closest circle, why, in this time of your life that you're actually meant to be so secure and so set and so like you've earned all these things? How does this self doubt creep in?

Like?

How does this like Oh I should look like.

This, or I should look like that, or I should feel this, or I should have that or all these things that should any of the shoulds. Yeah, and you you doubt yourself. You go, well, what am I if I'm not checking that box? And then you have a whole other piece of you sort of like turn on, which is your physiological being, Like what where you connect to your body and what your body's doing?

Oh god, all the different things. So it's really it's it's really wild.

We talk a lot about emotionally or in circumstances where we have this amazing community of people that we've just grown over the past, you know, six months since we started that call in and they call in with questions and and and situations and things, and we talk about them all and they're all so incredible, and they bring so much vulnerability and so much strength and so often a lot of the time, we will say it seems like it's time to hit the reset button and just like take all your factory settings and like just clear like clear the board, clear your mind, and get back into something that is different. And it sounds I mean, listen to you say it. It sounds like you were able to get into something different. And I love that. Joney I've known her since because I've known Carrie Russell. Yeah, and I was Carrie Russell will talk about Jonny as a manager.

I'd be like, Joni Bursteam, your manager.

Does what your manager said.

What I'm like, is this the smartest woman in the world, Like.

Yeah, essentially, And then I saw her again because she was Patrick's manager and you're manager.

So that's how I came to be with Jia.

This is amazing. Oh my gosh. I feel like we need a part too with Kyler.

Yeah. Are you kidding?

I'm down. I'm so no.

I'm just like, I'm so captivated by what you're saying because I feel like there's so many people in so many different industries. There are women hitting our age.

That's great, well, but we're being thrown in It feels like we're being thrown back into the deep end in so many different ways, paramenopause being one of them.

Right, I didn't even know that term until this year.

And I thinks it's getting a lot of airtime right now. Yeah, I mean, and I truly mean that.

I mean that because no, so many you know.

It existed and it's coming.

But my point is, I think, is that like to hear how powerful you feel and how you've taken the bowl by the horns is just so fucking inspiring and cool, and it's not easy to do. Like I know, it sounds kind of maybe silly to other people, like just wearing a scare and concealer, Like it feels really vulnerable on camera, especially when you're like us and you've worked very young and you can watch yourself back in twenty eight being on film, right, which gives you this beautiful filter and you're you know, you're not aged.

Yes, it's hard, it is hardful.

You're watching yourself age and then you're like, hey, strip that away and you get to be you and you're.

Just gonna go out there with my scariot. Sounds silly, but like it's tough.

It's very vulnerable, and it's very vulnerable and.

To hear you feel so powered by this production that you're on.

I mean, yeah, it's amazing, it's amazing, and I think that Hallmark they're rocking it clearly by supporting their actresses like this.

I mean, that's a dream that really is it?

Really? It really has been a wonderful last few years. So we just we finished season three and we're waiting to hear about a season four.

It's so am you need to be picked up right away, please please.

But also, we film in Toronto, and I love Toronto. I love it there, and like I lived in Vancouver for six years because that's where we filmed Supergirl, and I just love Canada. I feel like I am I am, I am now. So yeah, and and because I live in Nashville, so it's only a two hour flight nor yeah, you know, to Toronto. So that's also been a really fun part of it is Nashville, do you know.

I've never been I love Nashville, never been to Nashville, and I really want to go, So I'm going to come to stay with you, okay. And I've also never been to Miami, but that's there. I can skip that, Okay, Well.

Listen, just teenager, So much different vibes, So I don't know what it's like anymore, So I can't say that confidently. I kind of like semi compident.

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, wait, hold on, we actually can't finish.

It's done.

You said it. We can't stop until we talk about the musical episode.

Oh my god, we do okay, because again another.

Reason number seventy Hey, dear diary, Reason number eight hundred and ninety five. Then I am jealous of Kyler. We get our musical assignments and Kyler is singing are album.

She has an album released album. Jess could be your backup whisper. You can whistle, I could.

She was a whistler and a half. I'll tell you what nobody can whistle. Kyler.

Give me okay for the listen, give me one word to describe your feeling about being in the musical episode.

One word.

It's hard before or after? Before terrified?

After terrified?

I was gonna be I know, but I feel like I kind of went after him because I just feel like that the rock.

And roll, the grit in his voice. Yeah, he definitely won.

Does an impression of that now?

On my god, it's so d.

Okay, we have to wrap up. But before we do The Way Home? How can people watch it?

What time? So The Way Home Season three will be airing on Hallmark Plus for streaming January second.

Amazing, I'm watching all that a ten weeks in a row my times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, do you want.

To have something to watch that? Because loving Andy, she's phenomenal. But if there's like a family thing that you did want to watch, it's a It's okay. I love it. It's a wonderful show.

I can't wait. I can't watch Kyl.

I'm a fan for so long. I'm so happy. Thank you so much for taking the time with us.

But let's do this again. I mean, I live I live in Nashville, so it's like, okay, I mean, but if I'm in or we do it.

We have We've had people who come in with us. Okay, great, you have you can do there always be a guest on the show. Yes, yes, you have a seat. Whenever you want you tell us yes.

And then all I remember because I didn't watch the show after after yeah words, but that I guess I was eaten by wolves something like that. Really, like we could hear the wolves getting like getting after Lexi or something like that.

My god, wait, why do I feel like that's it's okay?

Thing?

I think, is it someone's nightmare like they had they were calling something and they're.

Feel No, I feel like it was Christina says that there's something that comes up, and Christina says, I could hear the.

Wolves eating you.

Yeah, I need you to confirm if Lexi was eaten by wolves.

I just want to know, because like wolves like like one of my spirit animals. So I'm like, I'm down with that. If you like that, you're in it. Yeah, I'm just curious. I don't know.

Do you remember me being so pregnant and like screaming in the woods.

I do remember, because it was freezing it was so cold. Big Bear. Yeah, I was.

Prayed with Poppy and then try by the way to Big Bear.

I almost done.

Ye.

Actually, legitimately, that was the only time I've actually ever been afraid from my life, but I was. That must have been May and she was born on June twentieth, so truly like a month away from having Okay.

Alright, alright, so every time where we.

Call it okay.

The end the episode

Call It What It Is

You may know them from Grey Sloan Memorial… but did you know Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington  
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