Ever feel like staying up for hours perfecting a single email, or completely paralyzed by the fear of failing at a new project?

In this episode of But Are You Happy, host Ashani Dante pulls back the curtain on the sneaky reality of chronic perfectionism. We’re moving beyond the surface level to explore the inner turmoil and emotional load that comes with tying your entire self-worth to your performance. Joining the conversation is clinical psychologist Anita Shimmins from Inlight Psychology to unpack why we carry this deep underlying fear of failure and how it subtly infiltrates our work, our parenting, and our relationships.

Together, Ashani and Anita explore why perfectionism is actually a protective coping strategy built to shield us from shame. You will learn the distinct psychological archetypes of perfectionism, how chronic pressure can show up physically in the body, and why hitting a major life goal often brings a temporary wave of relief rather than true joy. More importantly, this episode breaks down actionable, evidence-based strategies from schema and exposure therapy, sharing how to actively test your fears by making small mistakes on purpose and how to start replacing unrelenting standards with a realistic, self-compassionate lens.

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CREDITS:

Guest: Anita Shimmins

Host: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

Senior Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Ever feel like staying up for hours perfecting a single email, or completely paralyzed by the fear of failing at a new project?
In this episode of But Are You Happy, host Ashani Dante pulls back the curtain on the sneaky reality of chronic perfectionism. We&rsquo;re moving beyond the surface level to explore the inner turmoil and emotional load that comes with tying your entire self-worth to your performance. Joining the conversation is clinical psychologist Anita Shimmins from Inlight Psychology to unpack why we carry this deep underlying fear of failure and how it subtly infiltrates our work, our parenting, and our relationships.
Together, Ashani and Anita explore why perfectionism is actually a protective coping strategy built to shield us from shame. You will learn the distinct psychological archetypes of perfectionism, how chronic pressure can show up physically in the body, and why hitting a major life goal often brings a temporary wave of relief rather than true joy. More importantly, this episode breaks down actionable, evidence-based strategies from schema and exposure therapy, sharing how to actively test your fears by making small mistakes on purpose and how to start replacing unrelenting standards with a realistic, self-compassionate lens.
Discover more<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/"> Mamamia Podcasts here</a>.
Watch But Are You Happy on<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@NoFilterpod/videos"> </a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ButAreYouHappyPodcast">YouTube</a>. Follow us on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/butareyouhappypodcast/"> here.</a>&nbsp;
Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma!<a href="https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960"> Send us a voice message</a>, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.
Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.
If you want to support independent women's media, <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe/?utm_source=mamamia&amp;utm_medium=article&amp;utm_campaign=editorial">become a Mamamia subscriber</a>. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.
CREDITS:
Guest: <a href="https://www.inlightpsychology.com.au/anita">Anita Shimmins</a>
Host: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/naima_brown_official/"> Naima Brown</a>
Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman
Senior Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won’t fix you.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won&rsquo;t fix you.

But Are You Happy?

Girl, It’s Not Gastro, It’s Perfectionism. 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/6377eb2d-2649-4ae0-ae2a-b450004e1499/transcript