You’ve probably heard the advice to "trust your gut." But what happens when your gut missed something that broke your heart?

Whether you've been cheated on, lied to, blindsided by someone you loved, or simply had your trust shaken, rebuilding it can feel impossible. Not just trust in other people, but trust in yourself.

In this episode of But Are You Happy?, host Ashani Dante is joined once again by clinical psychologist Sarah Bays to unpack what trust actually is, why betrayal can completely dismantle our sense of safety, and how we begin putting ourselves back together afterwards.

Together, they explore why rebuilding trust isn't about pretending you'll never get hurt again, but learning to believe you'll survive if you do. Sarah explains the difference between trusting others and trusting yourself, why rushing to forgive can sometimes delay healing, and how to tell the difference between genuine remorse and empty apologies. They also unpack the role our childhood plays in shaping how we trust, the hidden ways past pain sabotages new relationships, and why overprotecting yourself can end up costing you the connection you're searching for.

The conversation also explores why your nervous system often knows more than your conscious mind, how curiosity is more powerful than self-blame after betrayal, and the importance of accepting uncertainty rather than trying to eliminate it. Finally, Sarah shares practical strategies for rebuilding confidence in your instincts, navigating forgiveness without abandoning your boundaries, and learning to stay open to love without losing yourself.

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CREDITS:

Guest: Sarah Bays

Host: Ashani Dante

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

You&rsquo;ve probably heard the advice to "trust your gut." But what happens when your gut missed something that broke your heart?
Whether you've been cheated on, lied to, blindsided by someone you loved, or simply had your trust shaken, rebuilding it can feel impossible. Not just trust in other people, but trust in yourself.
In this episode of But Are You Happy?, host Ashani Dante is joined once again by clinical psychologist Sarah Bays to unpack what trust actually is, why betrayal can completely dismantle our sense of safety, and how we begin putting ourselves back together afterwards.
Together, they explore why rebuilding trust isn't about pretending you'll never get hurt again, but learning to believe you'll survive if you do. Sarah explains the difference between trusting others and trusting yourself, why rushing to forgive can sometimes delay healing, and how to tell the difference between genuine remorse and empty apologies. They also unpack the role our childhood plays in shaping how we trust, the hidden ways past pain sabotages new relationships, and why overprotecting yourself can end up costing you the connection you're searching for.
The conversation also explores why your nervous system often knows more than your conscious mind, how curiosity is more powerful than self-blame after betrayal, and the importance of accepting uncertainty rather than trying to eliminate it. Finally, Sarah shares practical strategies for rebuilding confidence in your instincts, navigating forgiveness without abandoning your boundaries, and learning to stay open to love without losing yourself.
Support independent women&rsquo;s media and get our biggest offer of the year. <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe/?utm_source=shownotes&amp;utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=bayh&amp;code=MMEOFY30">Subscribe here</a> for 30% off your annual Mamamia subscription. Code applied at the checkout. Offer ends June 30.
Discover more<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/"> Mamamia Podcasts here</a>.
Watch But Are You Happy on<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@NoFilterpod/videos"> </a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ButAreYouHappyPodcast">YouTube</a>. Follow us on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/butareyouhappypodcast/"> here.</a>&nbsp;
Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma!<a href="https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960"> Send us a voice message</a>, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.
Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.
CREDITS:
Guest: <a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Sarah Bays</a>
Host: Ashani Dante
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/naima_brown_official/"> Naima Brown</a>
Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti
Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman
If you want to support independent women's media, <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe/?utm_source=mamamia&amp;utm_medium=article&amp;utm_campaign=editorial">become a Mamamia subscriber</a>. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won’t fix you.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won&rsquo;t fix you.

But Are You Happy?

Why You Don't Trust Anyone Anymore (And How To Change That)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/b152e1b1-f8eb-4085-88c3-b4710055f6ad/transcript