You know that feeling when you open your group chat and there are 287 unread messages... so you immediately close it again?

Whether you're the ghost who never replies, the lurker silently catching up on conversations, or the friend who feels guilty every time they leave someone on read, you're not alone. Group chats were supposed to make us feel more connected, so why do they leave so many of us feeling overwhelmed instead?

In this episode of But Are You Happy?, host Ashani Dante is joined by Milly Rose Bannister, award-winning founder of the youth mental health charity ALLKND, to unpack the hidden psychology behind group chat overwhelm and why staying connected can sometimes feel like another item on your to-do list. Together, they explore why our brains aren't built for constant digital communication, the fear of social rejection that keeps us checking our notifications, and the emotional labour involved in reading tone, self-editing and trying to keep everyone happy.

The conversation also explores why women often carry the invisible mental load of staying socially connected, how digital communication can fuel overthinking and social anxiety, and why conflict is so much harder to navigate over text than it is face-to-face. Millie shares practical strategies for setting healthier boundaries with group chats, communicating your needs without guilt, and creating friendships that prioritise genuine connection over constant availability. Finally, they discuss why the healthiest group chats aren't necessarily the busiest ones—and why making new memories together offline might be the secret to stronger relationships.

Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here.

Watch But Are You Happy onYouTube. Follow us on Instagram here. 

Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au

Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.

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CREDITS:

Guest: Milly Rose Bannister

Host: Ashani Dante

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

You know that feeling when you open your group chat and there are 287 unread messages... so you immediately close it again?
Whether you're the ghost who never replies, the lurker silently catching up on conversations, or the friend who feels guilty every time they leave someone on read, you're not alone. Group chats were supposed to make us feel more connected, so why do they leave so many of us feeling overwhelmed instead?
In this episode of But Are You Happy?, host Ashani Dante is joined by Milly Rose Bannister, award-winning founder of the youth mental health charity ALLKND, to unpack the hidden psychology behind group chat overwhelm and why staying connected can sometimes feel like another item on your to-do list. Together, they explore why our brains aren't built for constant digital communication, the fear of social rejection that keeps us checking our notifications, and the emotional labour involved in reading tone, self-editing and trying to keep everyone happy.
The conversation also explores why women often carry the invisible mental load of staying socially connected, how digital communication can fuel overthinking and social anxiety, and why conflict is so much harder to navigate over text than it is face-to-face. Millie shares practical strategies for setting healthier boundaries with group chats, communicating your needs without guilt, and creating friendships that prioritise genuine connection over constant availability. Finally, they discuss why the healthiest group chats aren't necessarily the busiest ones&mdash;and why making new memories together offline might be the secret to stronger relationships.
Discover more<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/"> Mamamia Podcasts here</a>.
Watch But Are You Happy on<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@NoFilterpod/videos"> </a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ButAreYouHappyPodcast">YouTube</a>. Follow us on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/butareyouhappypodcast/"> here.</a>&nbsp;
Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma!<a href="https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960"> Send us a voice message</a>, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.
Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.
CREDITS:
Guest: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/millyrosebannister/?hl=en">Milly Rose Bannister</a>
Host: Ashani Dante
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/naima_brown_official/"> Naima Brown</a>
Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti
Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman
If you want to support independent women's media, <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe/?utm_source=mamamia&amp;utm_medium=article&amp;utm_campaign=editorial">become a Mamamia subscriber</a>. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won’t fix you.

Join Ashani Dante and Clinical Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis as they give you the no-bullsh*t self-development and mental health information you really need. Because no, another personality quiz won&rsquo;t fix you.

But Are You Happy?

Why Group Chats Feel So Exhausting (And What To Do About It)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/be3f4de7-2664-48e8-84fd-b47f0054f7b8/transcript