Second Date Update: Shank to the Heart

Published Oct 11, 2023, 3:31 PM

The #1 thing the woman on the phone today says she looks for in a man was SO SHOCKING, Brooke almost fell out of her chair…  

Second date of date.

I don't like to call people out, but I am disappointed in each and every one of us.

I feel like we go through this on a daily basis. Jeff, I don't know if you say you don't like to call it out.

More disappointed in us than usual today?

Becaukay, that's the difference.

I feel like we're not doing a good job of getting to know our listeners. Okay, we're just rushing right into the details of the date.

Isn't that kind of what the segment? We just want to know what's wrong with them?

Really?

But we need to be like getting to know them more, not just going like, okay, we get it. You're a person. Tell us where you went. Did you make out with one lip or two? That's selfish of us, How do you do with one?

All?

Right, let's go, what do you want to know?

I want to like, get a chance to really get to know them so that we can really be on their side, really be pulling for them and understand where they're coming from.

Right, let's go, Yeah, we like that.

So let's try that out with Lance today.

Lance, in three seconds or less, give us a snapshot of your life.

Going, give us wait, a minute.

I've divorced, I got no kids and I Okay, Lance.

We don't need to hear every single detail about your entire existence. I think you wanted a snapshot.

I think he said, teacher. Have you interrupted him?

Jeff, I was on and I divorced?

Wow, that's all you call? That's not all that defines you.

Lance, No, I mean there's there's more than that.

You know.

I'm just messing around with you, dude, So tell us more.

All right? Cool? So you did get the right thing. I am divorced, all right.

Are you new to the dating scene then, or have you been out there for a minute?

Have been out there for a minute, but you know, it's been interesting, a lot of trial and error.

Okay, I'm hearing mostly error from your voice.

Yeah.

No, I've been trying really hard not to get shanked. Like online dating?

Is that a concern of me?

Well, you're meeting strangers online? I mean exactly, So where'd you meet her?

I actually met her off of Instagram and her name is Jessica.

Is she like a friend of a friend? Like, how did you come across your profile?

I just kind of started looking and stuff in my area. I'm an it guy. You know, I'm not gonna reveal my secrets. Everybody would do it.

Okay, So you're just trolling Instagram to find a hot.

Got in a creepy way.

That sounds very So my friends see people in dating apps and just DM them instead of messaging them on It's not any different than going to a bar like with the intent of meeting someone, trolling the bar like trying.

To find someone.

Doing it in a nicer way.

Yeah, you're just doing it online.

And if you don't want if you don't want people to see, you'd select private on your account.

So Jessica's probably.

Open to this, right it seemed like she was. I mean, at least she didn't block me after I first messenger big win.

What was that first message?

Well, it was like, hi, cutie buye. I love your energy. I'm kind of new to the dating single.

W a ming golf is the cuti pie real cutie pie thing.

Yeah, well, I mean I don't want to come across as like threatening, you know, like, hey, random guy out of the blue. How you do it?

She responded, She liked it? Yeah, okay, how'd you turn it into a date?

Well, I I just kind of told her that I was looking for a little bit of fun and I asked her if she'd like to go and get a steak a steak.

Did she agree to that?

Yeah, she did, and we had a really good time. We did a lot of talking. I got to know her. She's into some pretty interesting stuff. She likes ice fishing. I mean, I personally hate the cold, but you know, each their own, okay, oh yeah, But I kind of felt like halfway through it just you know when you're talking to somebody and they just kind of start nodding and trailing off a little bit.

Yeah, Rick does that to me all the time in the middle of the second.

I mean, I've lived through four years of that. That's why I got divorced.

Oh you didn't say that, right.

But I kind of started getting the same feeling again, Like halfway through it just kind of turned into that.

Well, that's interesting.

Then, if that's how she treated you and you felt like she lost interest, why are you still wanting to go.

Out with her?

Well, I mean part of it is just the insecurity of being divorced and getting back into the dating.

Scene, and initially over Instagram, it seemed like we had a lot in common and we really connected, and even at the start of the dat it was great. Yeah, and by the end, like I look, I was hoping to get maybe a good bye kiss, but it just kind of turned into one of those really awkward distant tugs.

Yeah yeah, yeah, where your like upper body doesn't touch but only your arms do.

Yeah. She wasn't feeling it, and I just got that huge sense of disconnect, and I'd kind of like to know why.

Well, I don't blame you, because if this keeps happening with different women in your life, there're maybe one common denominator here to find out.

Yeah, were you calling her cutie patuity to her face during the date?

No?

Okay, I mean.

That's like a third date thing, you know.

Yeah, yeah, you don't move put out until.

Later, Yeah exactly.

Okay, Well, you know I think that that's good.

That's like good growth for you to figure out what's going on and if if you did something wrong, and if you didn't, then maybe you get another shot.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I just kind of kind of like to find out why.

Okay, that's what our job is. Yeah, you guys ready to work here.

I feel like I know him so well.

Lance, my new best friend, let's help him out, but that three seconds really changed my life.

The sarcasm.

I've tried to be enthusiastic.

No, we got it right.

So what we're gonna do is we're gonna come back. We'll call Jessica from Instagram for you, and we'll try and get you your second date update right after this.

Okay, Lance, beautiful?

Thank you? All right? Man?

Hold on second date update.

I feel like at this point we're closer to our listener, Lance than we are to our own family relase.

Okay, yeah, because in the.

Last break we learned he was divorced, he's on Instagram, he likes Steak. Don't know what else there is to find out about him?

Lance?

Is there anything else about you that we don't already know? What more could we possibly learn? Isn't that all of us in this room we like and have an Instagram.

Nobody's been divorced, but Lance yet?

I mean, yeah, I do you can get her stuff? You know?

Told us that I already knew you were in it.

Yeah, I guess we already do know every single thing there is to know about you.

Well, well, no, wonder the date got boring real quick.

And then she soul.

Yeah, but you did meet a woman named Jessica online, took her out for dinner and noticed her energy change during the date, where she seemed to lose interest as the night went on.

And that doesn't feel good no matter who you are.

Totally and it reminded him of his ex wife, even.

Which we are not gonna take.

But he does want to know what happened, see if he did any thing wrong, and hopefully get another date here.

So let's give her a call. What do you think, Lance, Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

Okay, we think you're very interesting, so let's go.

Thanks. And I would appreciate it if you guys didn't mention the whole ex wife thing too.

Oh okay, yes, we weren't going to do it, but now you owe us for not doing it.

I kind of like it.

Stick with it, jeff we're holding one over on you. But here we go. We're gonna call Jessica.

Let's hello, Hey, we're looking for Jessica.

This is Jessica.

Hey Jessica. Okay, sound a little nervous.

Who is this?

Good question? This is Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Yeah, and and that means.

Yeah, we know it means.

We are the number one rated morning show for the moment.

But yeah, you're on the radio right now.

Okay, and why you have.

All the good questions, Jessica, I appreciate that. But we're doing a segment called a second Date Update. That's where we try and help out our listeners. We're having a little bit of trouble setting up a second date, okay.

And I mean one of our listeners is basically our friend that you went out with.

Yeah, he's like a bestie.

What can you tell me who we're talking about?

Are you sure? You just don't want to guess a bunch of names until we tell you?

Okay, she's laughing, Jessica, We're yeah, no.

I guess we'll just tell you. His name is Lance.

Oh it's funny.

You guys went to like a steak dinner.

Yeah yeah, did you not?

Well?

I mean yeah, sure, I mean so yeah, yeah that happened.

Okay.

What did you think of him? He said that he hit you up on DM on Instagram?

Yeah, you know, and that's I mean, it's hard not to be flattered, especially when it's not a catfish situation right like he was. He was a real person, and I did a little you know, research homework exactly. Homework is the right way to think of it, right, And so I really thought it was kind of a neat risk that he took to kind of slide into my DMS and so and so he's accepting a bad boy and you know, like a rich taker. Well, because that's a bold thing to do, right, I.

Guess what you've got?

Yeah?

No, he I mean he genuinely misrepresented himself, Like, oh really.

He told us that his opening line was cutie patuti or cutie pile cutie?

Is that what it was?

It was all very I don't know, like fun until we're hanging out at whatever steak dinner we're at and he's like, well, it turns out that he's not married, and I was bummed.

What what, Oh you got a divorce? I think she just said that wrong.

Well, yeah, so he mentioned to us that he was divorced a couple of years ago.

Been trying to get back out to the dating, but she's not involved at all.

Like, no, but I actually genuinely prefer to date married men.

What are you're joking?

What?

Don't actually shocked? I cannot be the person who's ever said that to you.

No, No, not a lot of listeners have come on the show and said that.

I mean, you say it was like pride almost.

Oh, absolutely, you refer to date married men. I'm not looking for anything serious, and there is no better way to guarantee that we are not going to get serious if he's already married.

So there is plenty of people that will hook up with you that aren't married.

Well, hold on a second, because I don't understand he was divorced, he said, two years ago. How did you not realize he was divorced?

Why do you think he was married?

Because when I was doing my homework, his Facebook relationship status says that he's married.

Oh okay, my husband's relationship status on Facebook still says engaged. Oh I don't think people update those No, I mean, it's not a thing that is messed up every day.

You're right, it is messed up that he lied to me about this, like.

Glances jumping on the phone because he's been listening on the line right now.

Oh, why are you saying that I lied? And what did I lie to you about.

Your Facebook relationships? Is you're married? And I was looking forward.

To Oh my god, like five years like I don't update it like at all.

Well, you should update it because otherwise you're going out into the world lying you're being just honest.

You could probably get more dates changing a single.

Are you not mad? You're not mad that she just said she only goes after married men.

No, I'm not mad. Like everybody's got one life to live, and I'm just basing everything off of our interaction together.

It was fun.

Okay, that's amazing.

Able to be in a room, read her energy and vibe, so you would know more.

Than I mean, I feel like you have a catch right now, Jessica.

I mean he's saying that he's into you, regardless of red.

Flags controversial likes.

I mean, I do think it's a little bit weird, but I work in it, so I'm a little weird.

Too, Okay, ID men and I work in it very similar.

Look at that, Jessica.

Wow, he's brushing aside a lot of stuff just because he says he likes you.

And he thinks that you're cool. Chemistry. That's got to stand for something.

If he still has his ring, he could just wear it for funies.

Would that work, Jessica? Would that do it for you?

You know?

I like the way you think. But I'm just not into lands.

He's he's too available, too faithful.

Yeah, he's both available and faithful. That's way too easy.

It's not okay. I could go out of town and turn off my phone.

That makes them unavailable.

I think she's saying, call me when you get into a relationship.

Yeah, that's not exactly what I'm saying at all. I'm not looking for a cheater. I'm looking for someone who's in a stale mid relationship.

In a stale already.

So she doesn't want you to be in a happy relationship because that would be bad if she broke that up.

I mean, well I could be bad. Oh bad. I've done a lot of bad things, Lance.

I don't know if she's into that stuff. I think that ship has sailed. I think it really just comes down to your relationship status. That's the number one thing for her.

I mean, you're better off, Lance, I mean, am I really better off? Though I've already said I'm trying not to get shanked on dates next time, I think I took a shank to the heart.

Guys, that seems a little over dramatic.

Yeah to this call isn't going like we thought it would go at all, But is there anything else you would like to say to Lance before we end this.

I couldn't believe he could be any lamer than what he was on the day.

Yeah, right, she just twisted. She twisted it.

I mean, look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm kind of turned on and fire it up right now.

Oh my god, my god, it's rookie Jeffrey in the morning.

You know, we rarely do this.

But after we recorded that segment, I got back on the phone and talked with Jessica a little bit about why she thinks the way that she.

Thinks, you're going to act like her therapist.

For I'm not going to try and tell her what to do. It's just because we've never had anyone ever say that on our show before and be so unashamed about it. But she had two main points, and the're kind of interesting. One she said, she's not looking for a long term, serious thing, and that's exactly what married men are going.

For when they're going for Jeffrey.

So it's actually less complicated to date a married guy than it is to date a single dude trying to lock you down.

I will tell you right now, you come up and try to date my husband, it is going to be very complicated for you, okay.

But your husband, it's going to be a great time.

Plus point number two, She says, married guys are more fun when they go out because married men never get to have fun at all. So it is around stereotype.

Oh my god, I'm monitor my husband at all time.

Say that.

I did not say that marriage is fun. It really is. And like this lady sucks. This lady sucks. I hate her.

I think a lot of people are with you. Broke no seriously, and no one, no one in this room is on her side.

But it is interesting to hear.

It's crazy logic, right, there's no logic.

Hashtag single girl logic.

How about that?

Anyway, We can't say we're always going to agree with you or be on your side, but we will give it a chance and reach out to that person who isn't calling you back, just to see what they have to say.

Jeff will listen. I'm not very good at that.

It's broken. Jeffrey in the morning,

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Ghosted after a first date? We call the person who isn't calling you back to find out the real reaso 
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