Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date UpdateThe woman in today’s Second Date Update is trying online dating for the first time after leaving a long term relationship. Her first try went so well she’s reaching out to us for help!
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Second Data Dating.
You know, we've talked about people getting back into the dating game after being out of it for a while, but we don't normally speak to people on this segment who are using dating apps for the very first time, like ever.
Ever, it's like a time warp.
Yeah, if you haven't dated since twenty ten and you met somebody at a grocery store, nowadays, you're.
Getting an eggplant, all right, Oh, but it's a digital one.
And I don't know if you even wanted it in the first place. But that's what happened with Rachel recently. She emailed us saying this is her very first time being on a dating app and she actually met a great guy who's somehow not calling her back.
So Rachel, welcome, Hey, thanks for having me.
I'm just curious because I've ever been on dating apps, right, because I met my.
Husband like before.
They were huge, like what is it like for your first time?
It made me feel kind of old too though, I mean I had been in a relationship since college, so like seven, you know what I mean, So like I just completely knew for me, and when I got flooded with all these guys, it was exciting. It kind of it boosted my ego. But it took me about like two and a half weeks to find someone that actually fit all of my criteria and.
That was Jack.
Yeah, so you messaged him.
So he reached out to me. So I thought that was vulnerable, you know what I mean, Like that's pretty hardcore.
And.
Thousands of other guys did. But it's okay, he said, Hey.
She's like, oh my god, he's so formal.
I mean, how long did it take you to go out with him? Like between talking to him on the app and then the actual.
Date Actually about five days So we started kind of like Sunday Monday talking and then that weekend he was free and I was free.
So and I feel like a weekend date is a big commitment day. I don't know, like using your weekend for that.
I'll take a day any day.
Of the week. It didn't work out.
I think single people think anytime is a good time. Married people like, my weekend is my own time. So what did you guys end up doing?
Rachel?
So we ended up going to dinner. Okay, it was really really sweet. We met there. So I took an uber.
And what what was that like for you? Because it's like your first dating.
Uber ride knowledge. It is amazing.
It's her first dating app. It's the first guy she's met on this.
I would be so nervous if I were you, just because God, that's a lot.
It's a lot.
I'm a huge fan of broad City, and I felt like I was in city. What was actual date like, Oh, well, he was just such a gentleman, like he was dreaming. He was such a good listener to you guys, like, oh that's important.
He was what it's important?
Did your ex come up a lot?
Because I mean you did mention to us that you were together for a really really long time.
It did, because, like I said, it was over a decade, and each thing that came up, he seemed to roll with it and it didn't seem to bother him. I mean, because here's the thing I was up front with him from the get go, and I told him straightforward that I'm not going to go home with him.
Oh oh, this is like immediately after the handshake.
This was like after the first appetecture because I wanted to kind of lose them things up, but I just didn't want to get too loose, if you know what I mean.
Okay, but it also sounds good. You want to set boundaries and.
He should respect.
It could also come across as rude though, like you're also assuming that that's all that he's looking.
For, you know, like Brooks only saying that because she never never crossed her.
Time.
Okay, he could have been insulted by that was his reaction.
Were you able to gauge it.
He was taken aback, but he said he wasn't expecting anything. So maybe, like you said, it just kind of threw him off or whatever. And I mean, here's the thing. When you talked about bringing out my ex, so the first time I didn't, I didn't cry. Guys, you know I.
Was on the date.
I'm glad teared up whenever I think of Dylan. You know, that's my my ex.
And up.
I hear Rachel, hang right now, even just mentioning it.
That's hard.
You probably were still emotional then if you're just like just now not crying talking.
About him, I think maybe that the drinks didn't help, you know.
Its enhances it.
Do you think that that's why Jack isn't calling you back?
I don't think so. No, he was, like I said, he didn't see it like, he didn't seem like he was weirded out by it at all. And no, it seems time.
We all know you obviously didn't hook up, but did you guys like kids or hug or like do anything else that's like intimate.
No, he was a gentleman, so we just like this side had thing.
The side hugged like I do with all my friends.
Armed hug.
Okay, I know that that's a good sign.
It was my first date, like I haven't been in an real in person date in over a decade. By give me a break, hug.
Yeah, we're just sorry. We've a lot of dating stories, but your sounds very nice, especially for your first time back into the dating pool, first time on a dating app.
So let's let's play a song.
We'll give not Dylan, uh Jack, Jack, I am so sorry. I promise you Rachel, I will not call him Dylan. In fact, this is gonna be the last time I ever say Dylan on this show.
A song.
We'll come back and we'll call Jack for you, not Dylan, right after this second date.
Number. If you're just joining us for the second date.
We're talking to Rachel, who went on her first first date in a very long time. She said it's been more than a decade since she's gone on one, and she's never been on a dating app before. This was her first time on a dating app, and that was a little bit overwhelming, which is understandable. In fact, I'm gonna do an impression right now of a guy seeing fresh meat on a.
Dating take the music down, Oh yeah, oh a newbie.
We're gonna stay at Applebee's for twenty minutes and then go back to my mom's house and she's gonna watch me play Mario Kart oh Man.
So it's like she was dating in college all over again.
Jack, who she met, wasn't like that. He was different. He was a gentleman. And how do I know that they were a good match because Rachel said she didn't cry once.
During their entire.
Cry about her ex.
Well, cry in general. Yeah, no tears, that's love.
Yeah.
So, Rachel, we're about to give Jack a call. How are you feeling.
Honestly, I'm hoping for the best. There was nothing but positive vibes. So I feel like something happened, maybe at his job or family. I don't know. I hope everything's okay, but he's just perfect.
And also, it's like, you know, this is new to you.
There's a lot of options out there that you haven't even explored.
I mean, talking on the town.
That's how you get over people.
Jeff, there is one thing that doesn't change in dating, and that's vibes. Like you can tell if something happened on the date. You could pinpoint a moment usually, so you don't feel like there was something, then maybe there was.
She hasn't even really dated in her adult life. I mean, you've had the same boyfriend since you were in college. You know, like just want you to make up for lost time.
But okay, let's call Jack.
You know what, We're just gonna stop projecting our feelings and our failed relationships onto you.
We're just gonna dial Jack and see what he has to say.
Okay, okay, okay, Hello, Hey, is this Jack?
Yeah, this is Jack.
Is this hey Jack? My name is jeff from the radio show brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Hello.
Oh, that's that's my co host Brooks, who just jumped in with a weird voice.
No, it just sounded like how he was hitting on us when he answered the phone.
So I was like, return to the favorite Jack.
Oh yeah, I think it's interesting because like it was an unknown number, right, Were you expecting someone else on the phone?
Jack?
I'm sorry, what is this all about you?
I'm sure you're very confused.
This lady is talking at you and kind of hitting on you at the same time. So we're a morning radio show and we're doing a segment called the Second Date Update where we're trying to help one of our listeners get in touch with.
You after you went out.
Oh geez, sounds like fun, right, all right, what do you What do you need from me?
Well, we heard a lot of good things about you, so that's a good start.
And we heard them from one of our listeners named Rachel.
Oh okay, yeah.
Yeah, So tell us what you thought about Rachel.
I mean, Rachel, was she's nice?
Would she attracted me? Were you attracted to her?
Did you feel like you guys had some chemistry.
Yeah, you know, I think she's beautiful. She's really cool, and I think maybe she's just going through a lot right now and working through stuff. But I was not prepared to talk about this.
It's okay.
I mean, she told us some stuff about like her ex and maybe how she talked about that on the date.
She's had a lot of really nice things about you, about how you're a great guy and a good listener.
She said, you're a great listener.
Well, that's super nice of her. I she was just really specific about what she wants and a guy and kind of went on and on about how I fit those things.
And that was that wasn't good to you.
I mean, it's nice, it's nice. Is I think it was just like a little much at some point.
What was much.
Like, I don't know, first dates are supposed to be a little more chill and steer the conversation towards things that are maybe more fun and getting to know each other, and it was just, uh, basically at one point I was like, look, I just want to get to know you, you know, and she she smiled, and she reached into her purse and handed me an index card.
Okay, what was on the index card?
Index cards are sexy?
Is it a recipe from her grandma or something?
I kind of wish it was. On top it said physical boundaries and kind listed all these physical things that she would allow, and she also listed them by date.
Oh you mean like like first kiss, three dates in you can touch my butt four dates exactly?
It really.
Planning.
Do you have the card?
Yeah? Oh yeah, date one, fist bump bump, I hug and high five.
Ah oh my god, wow, send me the card before the date.
From what we heard, it sounded like you did that side hug on the first day.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, we definitely we did. Actually we did do this.
But yeah, how was it?
Oh it was exactly what you did expect.
Okay, So it wasn't necessarily her boundaries, it was the way they were presented.
Is that what you're saying.
I think it's cool, like her therapist says, always create boundaries, which she told me, you know, and I think it's super healthy. That's great, but it's just not what I'm looking for. It's just a little much to me, and especially talking about on the first date like that.
You know, maybe there's a more organic way to work in your boundaries.
Like, what's more organic than having her be on the radio with you and tell her her boundaries right now because she's been on the other line listening, Jack, and she wants to talk to you.
No.
Yeah, you know she's not respecting your boundary in that way.
No, Jack, Yeah, we had some great time.
I mean you you're such a sweetheart. You just told me that you you like, like you think I'm attractive, you know, like I'm trying to be a great communicator, you know what I mean, Like no gray areas. I thought you would appreciate to know exactly what I want, what I needed, you know, like I'm not I'm not trying to play games.
Yeah, that's a hot pitch right there.
Like, yeah, Jack, feel free to respond Rachel.
Rachel, Okay, look, this is a I can't believe you're on We're on the radio right now. This is ridiculous.
Yeah, I think it's very fun.
It's just even though I think you're a great person, you were clearly physically attractive, and it's just like the chemistry was just not there, you know, And like the way this this whole boundary note card thing was was brought up. It just kind of killed the vibe. And I know maybe.
Dude, do you know how many times a note card would have saved me on one of my Craigslist meetups, whether or not like you think it's if it's going too far, it's like taking the spontaneity out of it. She's just trying to show you what she's comfortable with doing before things get awkward for your car. I mean, it's her first date in a really, really long time, so she's just trying to get her feedback under her.
It doesn't mean you need to be a robot, though. It's like when I walk through your car, I have to pull out the note card and check what I can do. If it's like.
You said, we didn't have any chemistry, but I guarantee that server what I told you different. And to be honest, it's your loss because after date i'ma five, things really open up.
I mean, the thing about Rachel, she sounds like someone who's very organized and maybe very different from you and could really bring some other aspects to your life that you don't have.
Right now, Let's get to the second day on your note card so we can get to some of that other stuff, because we'd like to pay for that. What do you say, Jack, give it another shot, Rachel.
I just I think it's cool that you think we had chemistry. I just think that, like a lot of the fund was kind of drained out of it as soon as those boundaries came up and.
Give her a second chance on the second day. She knows that already. She doesn't have a second note card? Do you, Rachel? Do you have another note?
Not anymore? Now?
Look at maybe you could just change. She's funny. She's funny.
Jack.
All right, you know, if we can start over, If we can start over, and.
It's like a punch card, you're gonna get like a free.
So are you just saying yes? Is that what you're saying, Jack?
I mean yeah, Okay, I'll say yes, but I'll pretend like the card never happened.
Okay, she still wants you to.
Jack.
I'm actually excited and I'm really happy that I was vulnerable and called the station. Thank you guys.
You barely cried once during this entire call. That must mean it was a positive experience.
Yeah, just don't say that code word that makes her cry.
It's Dylane. Oh God, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
