We promise you that you’ve never heard of anything like the move a guy pulled to ask out our listener outside a coffee shop. Hear his smooth move coming up in your Second Date Update!
Okay, we just need to apologize right now for taking over your TikTok for you page.
Yeah, sorry, my god.
Yeah, all the old ones are going viral, but the new ones are so much better.
Okay, I'm so glad you found them.
Follow like whatever you're supposed to do on these podcasts and just sit back and listen.
Second date update. Is there any way to do the math to figure out what type of person you're the most compatible with?
Is there math for that?
Start with affectionate, multiply by heavy petting, subtract two blindfolds, keep one divide with an overbearing mother.
And oh, this is jeff math. I get it.
Now, you're going to die alone. Every time I try to calculate this, I keep coming up with the same answer.
It's like time zero anytime you add the mother.
Right, yeah, yeah, exactly, saying goodness, our listener just found a different formula, and hopefully her results are better than mine, because apparently she's been single for a bit now. But Justine, how's the dating world's going for you? Are you also reserving a burial plot for one?
Yeah?
Okay, okay, I could hear you.
I can hear you laughing through the tears. So that's good, It's all right, Justine.
But the funny thing is you're not alone in that.
Yeah, you know a lot of us are out there with you. But you said that you figured out some sort of mathematic formula to help you with your dating life. What was that.
Yeah, it's like this online test.
You put in all the stuff that you care about, like your preferences and whatever for like finding a partner, and we'll come back with like the percentage of men on dating apps who like fit those preferences.
Oh really, wait, they also take the test center.
No, I think that it probably I'm guessing it's an algorithm that goes through and looks at their dating profile.
Is that how it works?
Yeah?
And so like I started out like super basic. I was like, they have to have a job, they have to like not live at their parents' house, like have a car, like okay.
Well my standards are crazy on your end.
I didn't put a single thing that was physical like height or anything, and it came back with less than.
One percent of men.
Job truly.
Oh my, okay, So so you weren't feeling positive.
I'm guessing at that.
Number or you know, that's like very bleak.
Okay, anyway, I like.
After all of that, ended up meeting this guy named James, like just in a coffee shop.
Oh, didn't even need the dating apps.
She ran into the one percent.
Okay, that's funny, like the irony. How did that interaction happen?
I literally was just sitting down and I was like scrolling and he comes up to me and he's like, are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't work here. Like I thought. He was like a flying at the coffee stop.
Oh okay, were he wearing like an apron or something?
No, I guess I just like looked like I don't know, I don't know.
Or you're a manager.
You know sometimes you walk into a restaurant or something you see a manager working.
Good point. Yeah, how did you respond to him when he asked about applications?
I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here, and he.
Was like no, no, like to be your boyfriend.
Oh oh it was all fine?
Okay did you like that?
I mean I thought it was funny, but he like fully went along with it, and he was like, listen, I brought my resume.
I've got like my.
History and experience, and he legitimately like pulled out a piece of paper.
Wait what, he had a dating resume?
Yes?
Oh, I have to know what was on it?
Or is it a move that he pulls on women all the time? And he has twenty quote unquote dating resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he.
Sees someone cute kind of like the real world of getting a job.
If she liked the resume, who cares?
How many other people like what was on it?
You know, like basic stuff like he likes going to games and hiking. It's like he was like, yeah, if you want to set up an interview, you can just like I called the number and I was like, why don't you.
Just sit down now when I can interview you?
Oh my.
Great response.
Yeah, and it was really nice, like he turned out to be an awesome guy.
He like offered to literally venmo me for the coffee that I'd already bought.
Guy, you look poor here. You probably know this.
What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him?
Well, okay, so I've actually like done interviews at my real job. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna pull some of these and I was like, what's one thing you don't want me to know about you? Dude?
He is so prepared for the day.
It I would hate that question to be asked to me on a first day. But did he have an answer for you?
He did, and it was like it was like ready made. It's like he effected it. And he legitimately said, I pry when I watched the Matrix because I'm scared about the future.
Oh oh, I don't think that was prepared.
I feel like that was honest Yeah.
I'm so scared. There's no way he just thought of that. How did you feel about that response?
Honestly? I thought it was really funny and it was really clever, and like because it was so quick, I was like, oh no, you're serious.
Yeah, it's not a red flag to you that he thinks the matrix is actually going to happen in the next few years.
So many worse answers.
He said like, yeah, that is so much better than anything.
Okay.
So anyway, at the end, he's like, so did I get the job? And I was like, well, we probably should set up like a second interview. Oh.
Then I definitely got the job, and we kind of like left it off there and it was funny and we laughed and.
Then he like never called me again.
What I like texted him, made jokes about.
Like, hey, we need to set up your second interview, and it was just silence.
No, did you guys cancer anything? Or like hug was physical vice, like a normal job interview.
Yes, a job doesn't like a transition.
How do you think I got hired to?
I mean that is strange though, because he's the one that approached you. He's the one that did the line, like why wouldn't.
He, But she's the one that took it to the next level that actually made him sit down for it. He probably just thought it was a smooth line and was going to back away.
So he literally was the one asking like did I get the job?
Yeah? He just wants the ego boost offer the company gives you. Isn't good.
He's got to put in two weeks at his last job.
Find out.
Yeah, there's clearly a lot of options on the table. We're gonna find out for sure what happened when we come back and call James to do your second date update. Right after this second date update, Is there any setting more romantic than a job interview.
It shouldn't be romantic.
I don't know, Broke, You're dressed all nice, you're talking about your biggest strength and your greatest weaknesses, and all of a sudden, what comes out of your pants?
Oops?
Oh god, a resume? Would you look at that? I just happened to have that on me, No wonder, it's so warm. That's actually kind of what happened to one of our listeners who met a guy recently. It wasn't an official job application, but some dudes saw at a coffee shop and asked, hey, are you taking boyfriend? Application is so smooth, And he even had a resume in his pants.
That's why it's even smooth pocket okay, or who knows where it was?
We don't know either way. It's kind of sus that he just carries that around waiting to whip out to any cute girl, if that's what he does, but we don't know. He may have done this just.
For the he's putting some effort in.
Yeah, it did work, and he got to sit down with her for a little interview slash mini first date.
Yeah.
By the end he said he was definitely going to call her, and according to her, he definitely didn't. Ah. I think we're all a little bit concerned that this little shtick he's doing is working too well, and maybe he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city.
There are a lot of openings.
Yeah, there's a lot.
Yeah, Justine, if this turns out where he actually does this all the time and meets hundreds of women this way, how could we make him remember you? And have you stand like, how do we identify you? Or do you still even want to go out with him?
At that point?
I'm curious to hear what he has to say. But yeah, I was wearing a green romper, I have red hair and glasses.
Okay, cute, Okay, Ronald mcdonne, like you were the only one who sat him down and actually gave him like a legit interview.
That's like, how could he remember you?
Yeah? All right, So we'll see if he does remember you and what he asked to say James's phone number?
Right now? Here we go?
Hello, Hey, we're looking for James?
Uh yeah?
Uh?
Where we we are a radio show?
Jeff?
Sorry you first word? Yeah, thanks for pointing on all my flows in front of everybody.
You know, this job you're calling.
On behalf of our boss, Justine, and apparently you applied for the position of her boyfriend role recently.
Oh okay, yeah, do you remember that interview?
Do you remember that interview?
I mean I I remember a few of them.
Yeah, we expect that.
We heard about the move that you pulled on our listener where you walked up to her and you like had a resume and asked if there was a boyfriend opening. Is that something that you've done a lot?
Uh? Yeah, yeah, I've done that a good amount.
Can I guess how many times? Is it two hundred times?
I don't know about two hundred.
I want to know the success, right, how many of those turn into a date?
They do? Sometimes? I've definitely met some interesting people.
Okay, I am curious about that before we get to like Justine specifically, Like, what are some of the quirky things that you found out while trying this on other people? Before?
I mean, there was this one girl who was an extreme coupon her Oh I've never met before.
Yeah, that's interesting. They call them cheap skates, but yeah, go ahead.
There was another girl who kept talking about alien abductions, so that was really interesting.
Was that a turn on for you.
I'm curious, like, it sounds like you're just meeting people to meet weird people. Are you actually looking for something in this?
You know, I don't really know what I'm looking forward to, be honest, it's just it's proven to be a great way to meet people. May people really responded?
You're looking for a girl who wears a green romper to a coffee shop and has bright red hair, and it tells you to sit down for the interview right away when you ask, Oh.
Yeah, thank god you told me what she was wearing, because that now I know who you're talking about.
I'd ask you to sit down for the interview too, the aliens.
But so now you remember Justine? Yeah, yeah, I remember Justine.
Here's the thing. I do this a good amount, and it's just, you know, it's all over the place the reactions that I get. But Justine's was like she was really quick with it, and she was she was different. I'll be honest. That kind of freaked me out.
Oh it did.
I didn't know how to respond because she beat you at your own game essentially.
Right, Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
But what if that seems like it'd be a turn on men don't like.
To be outsmart I was just kidding, how do they ever meet anyone?
James? How did you feel talking to Justine like that? Were you scared of her?
You know?
Yeah, honestly, I just I never take this thing seriously. It's just it's just sort of a gimmick, and she for the first time, I felt like, Wow, this really could be something.
You can't let your own insecurity stand in of the way that you want someone who challenges you.
What's your hold up?
Then? I guess I'm just not used to that. I've never never had that happen for So.
You finally found her and you're like, what do I do?
That's why you're single?
Man, Like, you don't know how to move forward now that you realize you actually.
Like her kind of like she might she might just be quicker than me. I don't know, I think she is. Yeah, yeah, that's terrifying.
No, I mean I appreciate the honesty.
Yeah, you know what, if you think that's terrifying, just wait till you hear that she's actually been listening to this conversation the entire time. It is on the other line right now.
You serious, Hey, scary Justine trying not to scream.
Hey, Justine, come on, James.
You were like I thought we had like a banter.
We did we did? It freaked me out. I've never had a banter.
You have every right to be like confident and witty and like the guy that I met could like play ball, like he could play chess, and I feel like you're just like afraid of that.
But honestly, you you kept up.
In the conversation great like it was. I really enjoyed our conversation. And I'm a little sad, but like now you're like backing out.
I mean, I'm not backing out. I'm just sort of like frozen. I'm not sure what to do.
Okay, Okay, this is positive.
Now we need to dethaw you and get you back into action.
What did I picture popping in a microwaves?
Got to do? She liked your energy when you first met, so just bring that back and talk to her.
Yeah, I mean I I can definitely do that.
More confident than that though, Yeah.
Yeah, Justin, and I would like that. I would like if we.
Get it sounds kind of timid to me.
Let's start, Can you try to say it a little more assertive?
Get some flair on it, James, justin, let's do this, all right, let's do this.
I mean I thought you guys were going to talk right now.
I thought, well, not in front of you, dude.
You can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be people's boyfriends and then not.
It's like you put on your application, but you have no show it to us.
The thing I think you do have, Rizz. I think you're just afraid of messing up, and it keeps you from.
Being bold, like you.
You got in your head. I think so when there are no stakes, it's easy. But now that there's steaks, that's different.
That's actually there will be steaks if we pay for them, because we will offer to send you to a steakhouse.
Really, our gift cards cover this.
And it's going to be an Apple.
I thought we were going to.
But we'd like to send you guys out on one more date that we would pay for if you're not too afraid. James, come on, James, Yeah that I feel like if we didn't call and push you into this, then this date never even would have happened.
Yeah, I mean we don't know that.
I feel Okay, Justine, you're still okay with it.
I am open to a second interview, but he honestly sounds like pretty different, a lot more timid, So we'll just have to see how a less rehearsed interview goes.
Okay, was the first one just to show or is it really who he is?
Yeah, you find out in a real world experience. I'm doing the dating math on this, just like Justine did originally, and I'm saying this relationships probably at a five percent chance right.
Now, higher than I was going to give it. So yeah, that's good.
Unless he says something really smooth right now, I got nothing. Okay, it's a two percent chance. Good lucky guys. Yeah, it's broken. Jeffrey in the morning.
Broken Jeffrey in the Morning.