Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
It's the radio segment that came up with the hot new appliance for Christmas twenty twenty five, really selling at a Sam's Club near you. The air frar hot tub combo.
That sounds dangerous. Job, I don't like it.
Fry your snacks while soaking your backs in luxury.
I don't think. Yeah, the toastered bathtub model didn't go well, and.
It comes with a large splash resistant fry basket for easy sitting and simmering.
All thanks to laser stories. Breaking Wreck Russells.
Brout the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. It's We've got a laser. Those other fry babies just don't. This first laser story is out of Michigan. A man named Daniel Hudson went into a Dollar General earlier this month and started stuffing hot pockets into his pants.
Hey, nobody got tempt it. They did?
Did they sell them individually? Or you are? Is it a whole box he's putting down there? Dollars were?
An employee confronted him, and he didn't take that well. He started yelling at everyone and then reached into another pocket and pulled out a gun.
He's got very large pockets.
Maybe the difference between this and a normal robbery is that everyone at the store knew Daniel.
He was a regular customer and he worked just down the street.
Daniel, he was hungry for lunch, So.
The cops turned around and tracked Daniel down in the break room at his workplace, where he was seen eating a plate of hot pockets.
I hope he got a first bite in.
Daniel tried telling the officers that he didn't mean to steal the hot pockets. He just took him because he didn't see a clerk at the general store, so he thought everything was free.
And that explains the gun too.
Yeah, the police didn't buy any of that, so they searched him and found a pistol in his backpack, and he is now facing theft and gun charges.
Oh Daniel.
This next laser story is out of Florida. Day a sheriff's deputies resigned from his job after possibly one of the most embarrassing situations of all time.
Oh.
The guy's name is Tristan Mackamer, and what we know is that he accidentally rear ended a car that was stopped for a school bush.
Yeah, that's not good.
In his bodycam video, you can see the airbags deploy and then he immediately tosses his cell phone onto the passenger seat before frantically picking it back up again.
Oh hmm, but I need that well.
When question, Tristan did admit he was texting in a group thread with other officers while driving.
Yes.
However, a quick investigation found that was a lie. What it turns out, Tristan was actually using his phone while driving to enjoy some spicy adult video who.
Wild driving? Yes, like you can't wait until you pull.
Over sometimes it's good.
And when the department found that out, Tristan came clean and confessed sometimes he gets really bored driving around.
All day and wanted something stimulating to watch.
You know, I appreciate that of going and getting random tickets out there.
You know, yeah, if you're probably speeding viomet deputies found he had also violated three sheriffs office policies, so Tristan went.
Ahead and just resigned. Yeah, taking his phone and his videos with him.
At least he's got something to be stimulated with. He's unemployed.
The Brooke and Jeffrey Instagram page Tristan highly recommend if you want to be stimulated, you will not be disappointed.
It's far from spicy.
Don't check it out. That's broken, Jeffrey. This next laser story is out of food news.
Doritos have been around since the nineteen sixties and they've always been triangular. But some people notice that the Dorrito's UK Instagram account had an image of a square chip. What and it said the shape of things to come?
But those are crackers, those aren't chips. Does a square Dorito turn it into a cracker?
Just like what's happening in this room.
It caused a whole lot of snackers to start freaking the f out, thinking Dorito's may never be the same again. But not everyone was having an ulcer about it. The official Wheat Thins account responded, square looks good on you.
That's another cracker talking reflex.
To keep it in the family. We know that, I get it.
We'll see if it's a joke or if they will do something big coming up soon. In other food news, I know, I like Just in time for the Super Bowl, Cheetos is releasing a new Cheetos Puffs cheese pizza.
Flavor as.
Sticks that's a two chill.
According to free Dolay.
It tastes just like a slice from your favorite pizza shop. Highly skeptical that that's actually the case.
But I can't taste the stuff. I don't know.
I think I just put it on top of my pizza, pizza, pizza.
We may need to try some in studio to prove that it actually tastes like a slice of pizza. And finally, Wendy's is sparking a fast food frenzy with rumors swirling about a thin mince frosty collab.
With the with the Girl Scout Day Due.
Yes, mis frosty sounds so good that's.
Gonna be on forever.
While the details are hush hushed, guesses are flying. Will it be a chocolate mint frosty or a mint chocolate frosty with a vanilla basse creamy?
And is it gonna be chocolate colored? Or is it going to be green? But thin mits aren't really green.
The deep.
One thing we know for sure, minty goodness seen to be on the near horizons, all of them February twenty first, So circle your calendars for all those frosty They should just do all of them. This next laser stories out of my favorite state for content once again, Florida. Some drivers thought they'd pull a fast one on the Sunshine State, but officials put the brakes on them. And I say that because Florida revealed its list of personalized license plates considered too obscene for the road from last year.
We applied for these laser stories, which I appreciate.
Well, here's the list that we can say. One was I am d Ui, Oh my god, why would you even want? Which might be like I am Dewey.
Or maybe it's like Dan Underhill ingrid no idea? Yeah, why is everyone?
Next we have fbi fed, followed by poop butt but with zeros for the o's.
Oh it sounds like my kids, but we're brilliant, professor poopy pantops.
Another one was Weiener with a one instead of an eye. Another submission that got rejected pour a f again with zeros instead of actual o's.
That's a par you don't want to get into a crash with because you know they have insurance.
Finally, naked but spelled n e K.
I d like naked naked.
I'm gonna get naked.
And these are only the ones that I could say on the radio.
You can't even get to the super super terrible rejected ones.
Other than that, there were so many versions of hawk Tua it was getting ridiculous, but none of those got through. Just know they were rejected because Florida stands for integrity. As for this guy's personalized license plate, he wanted to put Hawkshella on there, but not enough. Too many letters. Still, he wants you to moisten his shell. Just through it.
Yeah, you know how it is. That's how many slaves stories come to an end for the day. We'll do it again, same time
On Friday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,