Brooke and JeffreyFULL SHOW: Tao of Steve Date, March Madness Loser Line + AI Clown Parade Prank (3/24/25)
FULL SHOW: Monday, March 24th, 2025
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Hey, thanks for being here. I always feel like you're the real ones, you know, the people who commit to listening to the full show. Yes, I love it, especially.
On a Monday morning.
Monday Morning, we're going to kick it off and we got a brand new full show for you today. But first, can we just say thank you to Hunter, who commented over the weekend and said, Hey, guys, this is my first time commenting, and I thought, why not on my birthday?
Happy birthday only to birthday, you know, I hope it was good.
I've been listening to you guys since I was in fifth grade.
Wow, are you sixth grade now?
Nope?
Now he's almost a senior in high school. Wow didn't we raise him?
Well?
Yeah, he said. I love all the segments you do and the community you guys have made. I also love Alan and Rolando.
Oh Jack you must have in your line.
Hey, happy birthday, Hunter, and thank you to everyone who comments and leave us messages, whether that's in the comments of course on the podcast, or on our textboard to seven eight, five nine two, or on our socials that's Brook and Jeffrey and don't forget much for our cause is still on for a limited time, so get your sweatshirts in T shirt orders in now, and let's get this show started.
We got some exciting news today to start off the show. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, because Brooke, get this. The US Fish and Wildlife Service just released a list of five invasive animals that Americans are encouraged to hunt, catch and cook.
Up.
Jeff did you see one of these by the side of the road, Get ready to stop the car and jump onto its back and ride it right into that barbecue. Because number one is faral hogs. Should we be eating feral animals of any kind? The US Wildlife Service says absolutely.
They want you to all wildlife is farreal. You know that, right? Farrell is like rabies, No, though Farrell just literally means wild.
Okay, Well, I'm sure the hogs with rabies too are fine to eat, that's okay. Number two is green iguanas. They are eating up all the native US plants and apparently they taste like wingstop very meaty. We're gonna find out soon. And the final three animals on the please eat list are the snake headed fish. It literally has a head that looks like a snake. Come on, also, invasive carp Oh, yeah, you know the fish that they have in the hotel lobbies. Yeah, now they want you to just jump right in, bite into one. They're invading our country like a coy.
Fish, but it's huge.
There's enormous.
Last, the fifth invasive species that the US Fish and Wildlife Service wants us to catch and eat is the neutria, which is basically a beef that's too lazy to actually build a dam.
It's adorable.
There's a lot of adorable things that we eat already. Cows are cute, makes a cute Chickens are actually pretty coo, I know, like, come on.
A lot of adorable things that we don't eat that I wish we could, like salamanders. There's a lot of stuff out there. But brook Is probably coming into work with a tupperware of snakefish chowder tomorrow for all of us.
I'll give you what if I put it in a bread bowl, would you like it?
So there you go, that's the invasive species you need to hunt and eat. And while you're snacking on it, why not enjoy listening to the shock collar question of the day with a man whose voice can make Brooks mom farh or rabbit. She for sure gets wild during this segment. Okay, show them why.
Boys and girls, step right up, because today is the birthday of the one, the only Harry hoo DEENI, the magic man who could escape from anything handcuffs, straight jackets. He even escaped from Jerry duty in the nineteen twenties. That was not easy to do because there was only like four dozen people in the entire country.
You're collected for every jury.
So in honor of the great Houdini, will be playing a special who DEENI or who don't ee? Edition of twenty of twenty. Here's how it works. You say number one through twenty, I'll tell you about a famous feat or trick from his past. You just have to tell me was it Houdini if it's real? Or who don't he? If it's made up.
I want to say it just to say it.
We'll start with the woman who can do a vanishing act on any rich man's bank account.
Oh, lexis, that's a useful one five?
Number five Whodini wants claimed he could escape from quicksand and then immediately lost a shoe and had to be rescued. Was that a Hondini or who don't.
Could you be rescued in time? I feel like in the movies, it sucks you up real quick.
My father in law got stuck in quicksand of course, yeah, you know, But what I didn't know is that there's typically a bottom to it.
All right, Well, I mean if your father law survived at Whodini did too.
Yeah, City Dani.
Let's says Hudini. That's a who don't that did not happen because it didn't, I know, and I decid didn't take your answer anyway, keeping it moving all right? Twelve, number twelve. In nineteen twenty two, Hudini was buried under six feet of dirt to prove he could escape, but halfway through he realized it was a terrible idea. It turns out dirt isn't very breatheable. Was this a Houdini or a who don't suffocated?
Yeah, I'm gonna go with uh. This guy didn't always fully think out his tricks, so I'm gonna go with it, is Whodini.
Wow, said Whodini. That is it's yeah, what the heck.
Jose, it's your turn, okay, trick number ten.
Number ten. Jose Wodini made the entire city of Cleveland, Ohio, disappear for five minutes. No, and no one noticed that. Who dei? Or who don't he? Where did go?
Jake?
I always want to know where do things go disappears?
I think it's more important that no one noticed that Cleveland was gone.
I think you can make a disappear in the modern day and people wouldn't notice it wasn't there.
Son James may notice.
Yeah, not anymore.
I don't think it's possible, Jake, you don't believe in Houdini.
I'm gonna say, who don't.
Dey got to say who don't? And it was it was who don't. They don't even know how you would make a city disappears.
Because you're not a magician.
This is true. Feel worse about myself, Jeffrey, it's your turn.
Number eight.
Number eight. Houdini tried to break out of a barrel over Niagara Falls, but the barrel floated gently to shore before he even started, and he had to redo the stunt six months later. Was that a hood or a who don't he?
Oh?
Yeah.
The early nineteen hundreds was the golden age of Niagara Falls barrel guns.
People were doing this a.
Lot it's maybe like one person survived.
Yeah, a lot of people die.
It was not Houdini. You would know about that. So that's who don't eat. Jeffrey said, who don't he? That's who don't He's like, find some dirt to bury me under. That's a real chat.
It was a Brook. It's your turn, need a number, Let's go seventeen. In nineteen nineteen, Houdini had police lock him up completely naked and real jail cells. Did he do it because he wanted to show he wasn't hiding anything that would help free him, or did he just enjoy being nude around the cops like Jeffrey regardless, was his naked jail cell trick a Houdini or who don't interesting?
I think I know where he hit the key.
Guys, I believe that that man was totally in the nude.
Let's go new Dani Brook said, Whodini? That's correct, And if TikTok had existed back then, this would have been a whole viral challenge.
You know you wanted to show off a six pack?
Apps Jose. In nineteen twenty five, at the Bertrand Island Amusement Park in New Jersey, they introduced the first mechanical bull, which Houdini escaped from while wearing a straight jacket. Was that a Whodini? Or who don't eat?
And then a college us already girl after week? That was easy, the mechanical bulls throwing me off. So I'm gonna say my new favorite word, who don't eat?
They said, who don't e? That is yeah, very Sadly, Whodini died before the first mechanical bull came out him. So, Brooke, Jose, Jeffrey, you've all gotten today's questions, right, Alexis lose is plenty of twenty escape it?
You can't escape the dog shot.
Collar's try and you're gonna get shocked while singing do you believe in magic?
It was gonna be Houdini by do Ale?
Yeah, okay, do you believe in magic?
Kids?
Black magic?
Ever it starts and its house?
Oh my god, I think she just cursed the studios.
That was your shock collar question of the day. We got your phone, Tawn coming up in just a few minutes.
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Do you know in the United States, roughly six hundred and twenty million packages get lost or stolen every year? One point seven million a day a day.
What's a percentage like of how many are It's too much.
Math, it's too much myth. Sorry, it's a lot of packages that get lost.
What's the ratio?
Where did we go?
But one in particular is making the news today. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning because there's a college professor who spent the last few decades collecting two hundred ancient fossils that are over three hundred and eighty million years old. They are priceless basically, and recently he shipped them to a colleague friend so he could examine them, all of them. But the professor's university did not pay the shipping bill for it. Oh no, So what does us do in that situation? They dumped all of the packages with the fossils into a landfill in Tennessee, where they may be lost for another three hundred and eighty millions.
Can you imagine who the next scientist that finds them is? Like, Wow, dinosaurs had shipping and delivery.
So now there's a lawsuit happening where people are blaming other people and those people are blaming these people, and it's just a.
Big mess, pretty messy.
So kind of a kind of a sad situation.
I kind of want a dumpster dive there, though that's expensive.
He's ship those, why wouldn't you just delivery?
I think it's across the country to ship them.
It doesn't matter if you can, like pay for a shipping company to literally have someone sit with your package on a plane and bring it somewhere else.
You think teachers have that much money to I don't think the thing is I was debating whether to tell you about that story or another one where a mom got on a school bus and told her son to beat another kids, and I with the fossil Gate one.
I think it's more important.
I don't know.
I'm not sure if it was the best choice because I don't know if this particular school mom wears big glasses and rents or clothes.
I'll have you know, my kids don't ride the bus.
After that, they don't. Maybe we'll learn more about it in a laser story coming up right after this. It's the radio segment that's jumping onto the latest cosmetic trend with earbrows, bushy tufts of hair right above your ear holes. So why should your face get all the personnelity I.
Always say more ear hair, the better.
That's right. With laser stories, Surprise, the segment where weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other slug rugs just don't. This first laser story is out of Washington State, Florida, and I was gonna go Yeah, Washington takes the honors today because there's a thirty two year old woman named Jani and she recently posted a video that's going viral. The title of it things that went wrong at our wedding.
Oh, they have to be that bad. Well, it's not good if it's plural.
Yeah.
Yeah, So this was recent and it all start with a pretty minor mess up. The men's warehouse shorted them a bow tie.
No wonder she's viral.
After that, the groom pick was kind of weird, missing one dude didn't have it. Then a huge storm rolled in. They did have to move the ceremony to underneath the tent, which in theory should have been fine, but the tent was falling down and getting the guests wet.
Opposite to do.
But the wedding went on. Unfortunately, no one could hear the vows because of how loud the rain was falling on top of the tent, and that Jenni, the bride did have to stand in a puddle for the entire ceremony.
That sounds awful well, and the movies would be romantic.
No, that dresses like a sponge man.
Luckily, they still had the indoor reception for things to go right.
That's good.
Well, unfortunately for the happy couple. That's when it got even worse. The venue lost the power right before the reception, and the bride and groom made their entrance with no music and no lights.
A point.
Are you like, is the universe telling me yeah?
Or is it so bad? It's kind of beautiful.
Yet I don't think so yet, because then the power came back on, but the DJ mixed up the father and stepfather songs. A friend and I had known for twenty two years also wore white to her wedding. Why And on top of that, her sister and the maid of honor both had a seizure.
Oh my god, Okay, that's out of control.
From people, But people just stop the wedding at this point, we just have to go.
And if that wasn't enough, one guest accidentally flushed their dentures down a toilet and clogged it. Why did you flush after they fell in?
Come on, and if you didn't notice, how exactly?
Yeah, we have tiny tea.
A lot of people in the comments were worried that it was the universe trying to tell them something, just like others were just glad that everybody made it out of that wedding alive, although one person did joke your sister had to steal the spotlight with that seizure.
I couldn't let it wait. I would definitely give it to my sister for the rest of our lives just that reason.
Yeah.
Otherwise, very happily married couple.
All I wanted to talk about.
Appeal from here. I'm sure their honeymoon will go off without a hitch for sure.
Yeah.
This next laser story is out of nerd News. The stranded Space station astronauts came home last week.
I am so invested in this story.
They had people wondering how much they'd get paid for all of that overtime.
Yeah, I mean they were supposed to be there for eight days, I believe, and it ended up nine months. Understanding the whole.
Time when your salary, right, you don't get overtime.
Well should People were wondering if they got paid overtime, Okay, what would that come out to even think? The answer is five dollars a day?
NASA?
Is that broke?
Is that what we're saying?
What are you talking about?
It's like jose said, they are on salary, so they don't get over time. They just get five bucks a day for incidentals while traveling.
While traveling, like they can pop by an ihop and get breakfast.
Five dollars ever covered anything on Earth.
They were up there for two hundred and eighty six days extra, so that's it's a total of one thousand, four hundred and thirty dollars each. Take yourself worth it one. NASA did note that meals, lodging, and transportation are also covered, so they should be thankful that they didn't have to pay for that.
Thank god they have the dried ice cream up there.
They have such better attitudes than I would have been if I was one of those astronauts. I would have just in what is going on?
It's hard to have a bad attitude when you're in zero G though, it's just I have a bone to pick with you. Also in nerd news. AI is good at lots of stuff now, but a study found it still sucks at reading clocks.
That seems quite simple.
Analoger.
Yeah, like the analog clock. It gets confused by the hour. In the minute hands still can't figure out what's what.
Lack.
They can't draw human hands or read clockhands, just hands.
In general, it's their big weakness. And finally in nerd news, a study found our whole universe might exist inside of a black hole. To explain it, the oldest galaxies are twice as likely to spin clockwise, So if the universe was born by getting flushed down a black hole, it might explain why clockwise is more common. Now, Alexis you followed that right, so just explain it back to everybody.
Cries counterclockwise clockwise hole, brilliant.
Exactly minute hands, thank you.
We got a reverse clock hoole.
Hole.
This next Lazer story is out of alien headquarters. With more than two dozen unexplained UFO sidings over the last year. Some fear that we're on the verge of some not so friendly close encounters.
I'm kind of gaming for it these days, micromanaging from the Aliens.
At this point, it's not really like an invasion. It's more like salvation helped us out. So in honor of National Alien Abduction Day, because yes, that actually is a thing, a study was done on the US states with the highest likelihood of extra terrestrial kidnappings.
When you're going for vacation, so you can get probe Jeff.
The top states with the highest likelihood of probability.
Yeah, I knew you'd be into it.
Number five is Oregon. One abduction per one and fifty six people.
With the drug use. How do you know which is real? They've done a lot of legal things.
Why do you think the aliens are going there? So any the good stuff is? Number four is Texas. Number three is Florida. Not surprising, but people living there are aliens already. You just can't prove it.
Are they trying to get shot? Go to Texas and Florida?
The number two Washington State back up to the Northwest. One abduction per one thousand, ninety three people. That place is an et paradise, a bunch.
Of free on this show.
Anybody not that I remember, I'd be the most action I've had.
Why and number one state for getting abducted according to scientists is California double rainbow.
Oh my god, I could see that.
You're so gonna say, New Mexico.
Yeah, that's just where they crashed after flying out of California.
Got it.
Yeah, thats what it couldn't see. The states where you're least likely to get abducted according to science Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Virginia.
Okay, they're just not touching those.
Probab because we can't find anybody because everybody's out hunting for Bigfoot there, yeah, got it, where all the people go. But speaking of Bigfoot, oh man, talk about a total dream for this guy a size fifties.
Yeah, oh man.
Even just talking about it, you can hear him getting more excited. And that's how these laser stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again, same time.
On Wednesday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
You know, in most of our show, we tend to focus on human love. Yeah, so short sighted of us, really disappointed because think of the animals, Brook, Do they deserve love too or no?
Yeah?
Brook, Yeah sure, But like why would we talk about animal love?
Well, because for the first time in history, we have two people who exchange numbers at a dog park. To be blunt, it sounds like their dogs are the one who need to have an important conversation. Okay, thankfully for us, one dog owner gave the other the loser line. Oh wow, so we have a voicemail and they have got some big doggie problems. You're gonna hear the hilarious interaction in a brand new loser line coming up right after this. What's up? Would you?
Is this the right number? It's the loser line.
Goodby, Just call me back if you haven't heard the loser line before. It works like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you. Excuse me, are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, where'd my pants go? Whatever you do? Was this the urge to David blade on him and freezes privates in a block of ice for forty eight straight hours. Instead, tell him you would love to examine his magic wand in private, and that's when you aber could dab on him and given the number to the loser line. So hopefully he leaves you an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air. Voicemails like this one.
Yeah, hey Becky, this is listen. In regards to the March Madness bracket.
I was more than happy.
To fill that out for you. And let's just say that you're going to win. This is a fore grown conclusion. Having said that, when you win, I just want to let you know that I will be expecting compensation, and I think sixty percent is more than fair. Okay, so I will be expecting my competition fee after the championship, So please get your mindset aligned to make that happen. And congratulations in advance. All right, we'll be in touch.
Oh god, she knows.
It's always the experts who do so well in those bracket pools.
Yeah.
Literally, the experts never do it right, dude.
In our family pool, it's always a kid that wins the hands down, there's no questions.
And our friends always the wives that win the studying right.
Next message, Hey Jack or whatever your name is, this is man the woman who owns the dog that your horny dog was humping at the dog park. I just thought you should know that I'm taking my dog to the vet because she now has some sort of war or something like, some kind of canine d D. So you should probably find out what other dogs that he's been trying to get with because there may be some sort of epidemic of dog herpes or whatever this gross thing is.
Just stay out of the dog party.
I don't know.
Is it your friend of vets?
I have not heard her talk about dog herpes?
I don't know, big top of the conversation.
How do we know that her dog didn't give it to his dog at the dog park. See, this is why I always have my dog Bagel wear a diaper whenever he's at the park. I see total safety and protection every single time, because he's a wanted pup.
That's any hoping will be dry.
That's right, likes it that way. There you go, And speaking of going viral for all the wrong reasons, have you seen our YouTube page? All of your favorite segments are on there, Awkward Tuesday, second Date updates, and our phone taps, possibly even our featured loser line clip of the week, plus you don't know. And as a bonus, you get to see what we look like without filters for once, and once you do you will understand how the term face for radio finally came about. There is no cure for ugly and we are proof. Now let's move on. Get back to the clip.
Hi, I'm I'm looking for Kelly. This is the guy you kissed on Saint Patrick's Day. I was wearing the kiss me I'm Irish T shirt.
I feel like.
I need to come clean about something. I'm not really Irish.
It's not like you can.
Take the kiss back, and I'm glad you can't because it was awesome by the way.
Uh.
I pride myself on being an honest, stand up guy, and you did give me your number, and I'd hate to start off a relationship on a lie. So I hope you can call me back. Just know that I'm not really Irish, and I apologize for deceiving you. I hope you can forgive me, and I'd like to make it up to you sometime.
Well, that guy's going to rotten hell for sure, deranged, twisted liars like this that give dating a bad name for everybody, that non Irish scum.
I didn't know you had so much passion about it. Yeah, I was feeling like that was the only kiss he got all night, and he was shocked that his T shirt actually works.
I think you know exactly what I was thinking, same thing. Yeah, down with the total psychopath. Report him to Dateline, have Chris Hansen deal with him. Yeah, I would love to see Chris Hansen be like, so you claimed you were Irish your ancestry and I'm just trying to run get him.
He's Italian.
Next message, we matched on the dating apps.
I guess a little bit about me.
I'm recently divorced. I do have a pigmy horse named Rudy, and I like to take him to the carnival. He really enjoys it. I'm active in the swinging community. And what else I guess I like crosswords. I think I'm kind of boring. I still have a hotmail account.
Read into that what you will?
Hotmail?
What a freak.
I'm worried. Is she actually part of like a swing club that like now swings on.
I don't think she dance either, Jose, It's exactly what we think. I don't think she's practiced over the years of how to work it into a conversation because it is not an easy thing to drop. You might as well just included with all the other regularly.
Yeah, but the hotmail thing is a dead giveaway. You see hotmail at the end of an email. You know they get nasty. That really is. Remember you can listen to Loser Line regularly at this time every week, and make sure you subscribe to the Brook and Jeffrey TikTok and to our YouTube page. You can hear all of your favorite Loser lines right there. We got a phone tap coming.
Up, frooking Jeffrey in the morning.
And we did a prank call about a year ago where ninety percent of it was a robot voice.
I love those ones.
And we were calling a deli to order a sandwich while we happen to be dealing with a road rage incident at the same time. Yes, so it was kind of funny to hear a robot calmly antagonizing and cursing out a biker guy with tattoos. Yeah, that's why today we're doing it again. But this time we're going to be calling a hotel to try and book a room. And I wonder what distractions might come up in this call. You're gonna hear it in your phone tap right now.
Thank you for calling Olivia. How can I help you? Hello? Is Olivia? Can I help you?
Hello? My name is Doug. Stickwick. I would like to book a room.
Came what tap?
Oh? Sorry, I am driving and using speech to text through my car.
Uh.
Okay, I've never done this before, but I guess it's fine. You said your name is Doug stick Quick.
Excuse me, but did you just call me fish Stick?
No?
No, no, I'm sorry, sir. You said your name was stick Wick.
Yes it is. I'm sorry, just a little stressed. Looks like I took a wrong turn and ended up in a parade.
Oh, that's really unfortunate. You might want to pull over something. It seems really unsafe.
It's okay. I think the officials think I'm part of it because I have a funny hood ornament of Mickey Mouse. Oh hi everybody, Hello kids, I'm waving to them.
Do you want to call me back? Maybe when it's a better time.
It's fine. I am a busy person, so this is the only time I can make this call. So I will be coming there on the twenty sixth and leaving the twenty ninth.
Okay, great.
Also, I need a sweet with a view.
Okay.
Oh wow, that's funny. There are clowns in the road.
Just to be careful of them.
They are juggling and roller skating. Do you like clowns?
Not particularly, They're not my favorite, but we should get back to the reservation.
I want to say something, Hey, clowns, what are you looking at? I'm totally screwing with them and honking my horn. Okay, my horn is bigger than yours.
So if I were you, I wouldn't antagonize the clowns.
Hold on, one is coming up to my window.
You definitely should keep it rolled up and leave them alone.
Nice makeup? Did a two year old get loose with a Crayola box?
So I really don't think this is the best time for you to be booking a hotel.
No, it's okay, I can do this. Just get me a sweet on those days. Do you have one available?
I do, but I would really appreciate it if you just call me later.
This is hold on, now they are surrounding my car.
Oh no, no, the.
Big one with the green pants looks like a nightmare shirt.
This is not okay.
I'm going to say something.
Don't say anything else to any more.
Of the clown Hey, clown, you are not funny. You're just a walking coupon for a therapy session.
Why would you say.
That to them? Why are you trying to piss them off?
He hit my car with a plastic rolling pin.
Looks really happening.
Blown, you want a piece of this? Stop, I'll fight you right here.
I'm engaging with them. You are making it worse.
After I'm done with you, your big shoes won't be the only thing you will be walking away from your dignities next.
Oh my god, I cannot listen to this anymore.
Oh hey, did you book that suite yet?
No?
I need the confirmation confirmation.
I'm trying to stop you from ruining a whole parade. They're kids watching.
Got it. Let me punch this clown first.
Oh my god, I'll.
Take you off speech to text.
Don't punch anybody too late.
God, I'm writ in the nose, that's right. Who's laughing now, buddy?
Wow?
So yeah, I kind I get that confirmation number one. I'm ready for it.
Hello.
What Yeah, the confirmation number for my suite?
What's going on?
Yeah? I just took you off speech to text?
Doesn't So there's a parade there.
Oh no, it's a parade, trust me. Every day on the radio show is a total parade. In the studio here. I'm broking Jeffrey in the morning, especially when we do these prank phone calls.
What are you talking about?
My real name is jeff from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you, Olivia.
Jesus.
Your coworkerste said you up.
Oh my god, you gotta be kid.
I'm not. He said that you've been really stressed out at the hotel lately and you wanted us to mess with you.
Yeah, what the hell?
Although the fighting clowns in the parade, you didn't. That didn't make you laugh.
I thought I was gonna have to call the cops on a clown site.
See that's funny. That made me laugh. You should go into radio after you're done with the hotel stuff.
No thanks?
Yeah, Actually know what, I wouldn't recommend it.
Wake up every morning morning on the twenties brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Ladies. I have a question, why aren't there more of you getting locked up in magical towers and getting tied up to train tracks and getting slowly lowered into vats of boiling lava. Yeah, frankly, you're not giving men enough opportunities to step up and become heroes.
For you at Alexis, why aren't you more helpless?
I know, I'll take all my friends off by my friends right now?
You do needy making us look bad. But recently one of our listeners had not one, but two opportunities to be a knight and shining armor right in front of his date, and he could not believe his luck. So why is she completely ignoring him after his impressive display of heroism.
Because she's already saved, doesn't need yore.
Yeah, we'll put yourself into danger again, girl. All right, we're going to try to find out what happened in your second date update. Right after this second date update date, we got an email from one of our listeners who says he's been living his life by a dating philosophy that's been circulating on the internet now for about two decades decades. It's called the Tow of Steve. That is Tao of Steve. And I've not heard anything about this, but according to him, it involves three basic rules that men must live by. Number one one, be desireless.
Number two nobody wants you.
Yeah, I'm good at that one.
I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out. Number two is be excellent and number three be gone. And if you can live by all three of those rules as a man, you will become irresistible to any woman on earth, even married women. Brooks, so look out. Maybe get your ear plugs ready before we talk to him.
I love those gone boys.
Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today. Bobby, welcome to the show.
Hey, guys, how you doing.
I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all of this, but barely you're Bobby. That works too.
Oh it can't be everything. I guess all the time. I'm doing my best here, I'm doing my best.
It isn't calling our show breaking rules one in three already of your Yeah.
You guys are on to me. But it's the deaferate situation.
I need you.
That's rule number four.
Be desperate. Jeffer just didn't get it.
Yeah, so tell us who's this woman that's making you go against everything you believe in.
Her name is Tory.
She's super hot and she's super nice and we just had an amazing date and like I don't know, normally a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done. But it's completely backfiring on me.
Now, I know, because if you're excited about someone and it's like the first time you've ever felt this way, like lean into it, like life's too short to be desireless, and you could.
Tell sometimes if someone's like purposely waiting till.
Bry to do it, Like, yeah, next thing, you know, you end up on this show and you hit your rock bottom. So wow, Bobby, tell us how did you get to this point? Like, tell us about your date with Toy?
How did you know her? Is it an online thing or no?
No, I met her at a bar. I just kind of bumped into her. And it had to be desireful in the beginning, and then you be desire less. Okay, that's how it works.
Okay, it makes sense.
I'm in the phase between desireless and be excellent and uh, we're waiting outside the restaurant because it's like a popular place, you know. Okay, so I had my opportunity to be excellent just come upon me. It was awesome.
What are you excellent at?
Friend?
Oh?
I'm excited. What this opportunity was?
What happened?
So this foreign family. I'm not sure where they were from. I didn't speak whatever language they like. Vaguely, I can tell they're looking for a specific museum, like a really famous reason.
Okay, so they're like tourists in the area and they need some help.
Yeah, exactly, Okay, they weren't understanding my directions, so I was just like with my fingers, I was like, I will walk you there, you know, like little like walking man singer.
Yeah.
Most people would pull out Google Translate.
On their phone and pull it up on their phone on Google Maps.
Yeah, but okay, yeah, but Google Maps isn't excellent.
I want to be You're gonna leave your date standing in front of the restaurant while you walk this family with Absolutely not.
I took her with me.
So now you're demonstrating that you're a guy who's willing to help strangers. You know your way around the neighborhood generally a lot of excellent qualities.
You know what a museum is, Yes, you know exactly.
So did you go straight to the bedroom from the museum. Did you have to do more?
Well, you know, if you have the chance to be excellent twice, let's do it twice and Luckily for your boy here he was excellent twice in one night.
Whoa at the museum? So many directions back to the restaurant?
Wow, what do you do the second time?
So second time we're having dinner. Dinner is like pretty much finishing up and you could just tell like someone dined and dashed, someone hadn't paid their bill. Woh yeah, like the waiters were all huddling together and stuff, and like it's an expensive bill. It was a big deal. Yeah. I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter, just kind of nonchalant.
Like, oh wow, super nice bro.
I thought you're going to go to hero mode and tackle the dining dasher, but you just took care of it.
I mean, I think tackling the dining dasher is cool, but it's even cooler to be nonchalant.
I see, how do you be nonchalant after just going over and paying someone else's bill? Like, what do you say to Tory when you come back to the table.
Well, the thing is you say nothing, and you wait for her to question you what was that?
And then you.
Reveal, wow, did she fall into that? Ploy?
She was like what was that? I was like, I just took care of it a little shoulder shrug.
No, biggie, no, while you're checking your bank statement to make sure it doesn't bounce.
These things these are investments. Okay, you are investing though, because you know she's gonna think about little things.
I mean, honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do.
We're all impressed. Did it work on Tory?
If you had asked me in the moment, I was like, couldn't be better. I walked her home, we hugged, I gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talk, dude. And then it turns out she goned me.
Oh no, yeah, the goner got gone.
You never hit me up.
How long did you wait before you contacted her after the date?
Well, I mean, like according to the pools I live by, and trying to be gone. So I was trying to be gone for a while.
Yeah, I just.
That's your answer right there.
Yeah.
Do you think she thought she got ghosts?
Mean?
Yeah, you don't hear from someone after a first date, you're not, yea.
So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're sticking to them.
Yeah, but like asked, like four or five days, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I just started texting her and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent, and I was pregnant.
Man, she broke you.
I feel you, Steve, would be so disappointed in your behavior.
When I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy and then what do you know, a whole box of oreos ends up in my mouth.
You know, and now you're reaching out to us, which I think breaks your first rule of like be desireless, because now you're asking a radio show to show him much you want to hang out.
Yeah, I mean all the rules are out of the window at this point. I want to so bad.
Oh, we're throwing every rule that we know out the window when we come back and call Tory for you and try to get her to agree to abide by the towel of Bobby and give you one more chance with your second date update. Right after this second date update, you know you're in a good place when you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to score a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief six times since I got to work today. Oh, and it feels great.
I don't know.
We could call a dating strategy, your belief system, and that seem a little dramatic.
Well that's what Bobby says. He told us he used to live by a dating philosophy called the Tow of Steve, which, if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating your value while also not coming across as desperate or too available.
Okay, so he's stuck.
To those very strictly until he met Tory Yeah, and said, screw it, Tory's way too hot. I need to know why she's not calling me back right now.
I mean he lasted four days until he started incessantly texting her.
Exactly with no response. Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell Tory about your mantra and the rules that you follow, unless how you already told her, did you?
No?
No, no, I didn't tell her my philosophy.
Don't tell her, that's part of it.
You don't say it.
But also, do you assume most singles out there try to do the same general thing, play hard to get, not be too available.
It's pretty be excellent.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but like this is my secret, sauce.
Tell him the secret, sauce.
I think it's admirable that as a plan, because mine is just drink a lot and hope for the best. So Bobby in a better spot than a lot of people.
And we've all seen you after you drink a lot. It's not what she's to Yeah, well that's exactly right.
Let's call Tory. We'll see what she has to say why she's not calling you back. Hopefully she picks up and I'm dialing your number right now here we go.
Scottish.
Hello, Hey, we're looking to speak with Toy.
Can I ask you's calling?
Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Hey, Torri alshows here.
I'm sorry, what's going on.
We're doing a segment on our show called the Second Date Update where we're trying to help out one of our listeners get in touch with you after you already went on one day with him.
It's just like some internet thing or.
No, no, it's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing.
Yeah, but it's also a podcast.
Focus on the radio part. That's the cool bit of this, because we're just trying to get some answers for Bobby about why you're not hanging out again or even talking to him at all.
I mean it was a.
Date, Okay, I mean you could see. It's probably pretty obvious that it's driving him nuts, not knowing why you're not calling, because.
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of just felt like I was on a date with someone who was giving attention to everyone and everything else except me.
Okay, why do you say that?
Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were waiting, and he offered to show some people that were lost the way to the museum.
But that's nice.
Yeah, but I was starving and we lost our reservation, so we had to wait another thirty minutes because you were gone.
Oh I could see that happening.
Actually, I'm sorry. Not only that, if she's in heels, like it's not comfortable to walk.
Okay, So you don't value helping people. You value material.
Things like don't come like that.
Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought processes.
I mean that was just one part of the date. Like even when we were inside, he would compliment the wait staff. But how dare he never once complimented me in Oh.
That's important, h the focus of the whole night, or I.
Had told the wait staff to compliment you for going to do it directly. Looks so beautiful?
Could you also relay that to her?
I can't. We didn't compliment you because I mean he gushed about you to us, about how and lovely and nice you were. He never said anything like that to you.
No.
I mean even when I was in the middle of a story. I was telling him about my vacation to Europe, and he got up in the middle of it and went and picked up a nap and somebody else dropped at another table.
He's almost like, it's gonna sound funny. He's almost like.
Two nice guys.
You think she cares about things that she does, like guys think girls are impressed by those things, not just listening to them.
Yeah, And like even at the end he held the door up and for someone else and then went out behind them, not holding the door.
For me and didn't hold What the heck do you think here's the thing?
Obviously he's a kind person. Do you think that he was just nervous and maybe that's why those things didn't happen for you?
He didn't seem nervous and he was super nice, polite, talkative with everyone else.
Okay, okay, But a lot of times guys don't want to, like, seem too desperate in front of a girl and won't say the thing that they're feeling because it don't make them seem you know, beta, which is a thing that it's a complex that guys have, and.
That's why they slammed doors in their face.
Is But maybe he was just in his own head too much, and we should probably ask him about it. Because Bobby is waiting on the other line wanting to compliment you profusely.
I'm sorry.
What, Yeah, he's.
Been listening to this call, Bobby.
You're there, a little smooth Bobby, anything you want to say to her story?
You didn't like all those excellent things I did set you up there?
I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't going to give any attention or participate in the date at all.
I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of attention after the date. You know, I gave you a lot of texts and calls and stuff.
Why would I do that, give attention to someone who clearly didn't have the time of day for me.
No, that's that's really that's toy. That's not it. Okay, So basically.
Bobby, wait, wait, hold on, are you sure you want to do this? Yeah, just like apologize and compliment her.
Yeah, but like you guys want me to lie there, I don't want to lie there. I gotta be honest.
We say, compliment her. That's a lot, go for it.
Then clear your chest, man, then go for it.
Bobby, what do you have to tell me? But can't hurry up? I got things to do, okay.
Okay, So like I lived by these these philosophical rules, all of which you don't really need to know about. But basically, like I was, I was trying to demonstrate value and be excellent for you to other people. You know, maybe it came off as like I.
Didn't care about you, but I was like trying to do these things to show you what I am capable of, like my potential and stuff.
I can pick up a napkin so fast, yes.
Yeah, exactly, I can pick up a napkin so fast.
Yeah.
Right now, I don't even know what you're talking about. Right now, Like all you have to do is ask me questions and listen and compliment.
That is a lot to ask for.
That is a whole the thing is complimenting kind of goes against the philosophy that he believes in.
So no, well that would be part of being excellent.
No, i'd be breaking desireless. But yeah, but you do that.
He said after the first eight. See, this is the whole thing with rules, Like they get so complicated. Why don't you just be a normal human and have a good conversation.
Yeah, let's get rid of laws too, Jeff.
That doesn't no structure.
I think I know what's he's talking about. I think she just doesn't like people who do good things.
Here's a question, Tory. If he would have done those things for the other people and also listened and complimented you and asked you questions, how would you have felt.
I mean, it would have been better. But I'm not sure why he needed to focus on everything else except our date.
But I can't do all those things. I was already tired doing the other stuff.
It's a lot, man, So it's one or the other for you.
You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or you're doing nothing.
He's not a multitasker.
Yeah, Like, I'm sorry for being excellent.
That's not the apology that she was stepped in before that but the one thing that he is focused on right now, Tory, his only focus is getting another date with you.
That is why he reached out to a radio show to get a hold of you and arrange a second meetup. And we would pay for it if you're willing to give him a second chance.
I think I'm good. I don't want to be with someone who just likes to grand stand.
But remember, Bobby's not good, He's excellent, so you could level up.
I mean now he knows right like now, the expectations of what you're looking for out there, like you might as well give him a chance to make that happen, don't you think.
Yeah, I'm listening out. Look, you're hot, and I'll pick up your napkin and like you want me to ask you questions? What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.
That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done.
Yeah, Tory, what do you think I'm gonna pass?
We did our best, honestly, he just he came on way too strong at the end and act just like a shy.
Oh, Bobby, you're back to square one, dude.
These rules just like don't work for some people, Like I'm desireless. It doesn't work. I'm desireful, it doesn't work. Excellent, I'm too excellent. I'm gone, I'm too gone.
Yeah, welcome to dating women, buddy. It's going to be a long road.
Nobody said too excellent but yourself.
Jeff in the morning. You know, after thousands of second day calls, I'm starting to notice a trend. Sometimes men don't listen very good.
Wait are you just now hearing that?
Yeah, I'm like thousands.
I don't know if anybody saw this, But even when guys get here like beating over the head with good information, sometimes it just doesn't register for guys.
We're also sometimes information doesn't.
Register like it's hard to sometimes change right? What this guy?
Sorry? What were you saying?
This guy was so like stuck on his plan that when it was the problem, he couldn't he could ship pivot?
What is Brook saying?
I don't know.
Next time you get angry at a man for not listening, may be turn your attention to God from making us that way.
It's icy, it's it's God's fun.
Thanks a lot, God spot over here. But we can put you into a good spot in your dating life. If you want some help, with that, at least we'll try email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back.
And two out of the four of us will actually hear what you said.
Yeah, maybe on a good day.
I'm just happy to be here.
Go check out all of our second day podcast wherever you get yours at Brook.
And Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Ladies, is there anything sexier than a man who's confident, who's bold, who's not scared to initiate the conversation.
Oh that's great.
Well good, because our next segment is filled with bold dudes who confidently logged onto their mom's computer and weren't scared to go on Craigslist and leave an anonymous post about how they watched you through the glass of that yoga studio.
We got tricked into a greedy.
I'm just saying, ship isn't dead. It just moved to a website with less restrictions on. We're gonna read some of these beautiful unsolicited love poems from modern day Nights and Shining Armor during a brand Newliss Misconnections coming up right after this.
He KD Misconnections that was staring.
It's only two places for you to find true love in this world. One is in the waiting room of your local foot doctor when you accidentally touch bunions over the magazine.
Over the magazines you're handing magazines by foot. You want to read this verse.
The other is on the pages of craigslist dot org. We scour that website every week to find the best miss connections they have to offer, like this first one titled you had me at Merlow liquor store. He says, I was perusing the shelves looking for the lowest grade to key that they had when I heard the little bell go off by the door. And that's when I turned and saw you. You were the pigtail wearing princess with the red north faced jacket on. How old are you? Forty twenty sixty?
Wow?
I could not tell that.
Because you already part take part took in the cheap tequila.
But I did like those dimples on you. I immediately smiled and you smiled back. You then walked by me to use the in store ATM I feel like I floated over to your area, captivated by your aura.
Wait, watching at yeah.
Watching you put in your pin number using only your elbow.
Wait wait germs. Yea, I may tell you liquor store is notoriously not super clean.
At one point you caught me watching, and that's when your smile faded and you actually flipped me the pinky.
What is that a thing?
I don't know.
You gotta see you curled your lip and little fingered me.
I like that.
I'm not sure what that means, but.
It's like the warning before you get the middle.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I had to google what it meant because no one had done that to me before. I guess it's a thing, especially in Asia. Oh, I'm impressed with how worldly you are. You left before I caught your name, but I did catch your bank pin from the ATM. Why do respond with that sweet four digit code so I know it's.
You confer it right?
Yeah?
That and your social Yeah yeah.
That signs Marcus seems legit to me.
My god.
This next misconnection is titled I'll be Missing You. I'll spelled like a I S l E. Woman for man forty one trader Joe's I was playing the Lumineers at volume off my Pandora radio.
Do not do that?
When we accidentally bumped into each other near the wall of cheeses. That's do you remember? You had to because I was looking absolutely gorgeous.
That day, like you're feeling yourself.
Toilettos, fresh weave, smelling like microwaved bacon, the good kind, not the fake rubbery stuff, thick cut. Yeah, I'm sure it was intimidating to be in a Trader Joe's while looking at a Whole Foods hotty. You seemed shy, but I saw you sneak in a peak by the snack aisle. Someone wanted to taste of that good old cookie butter. When we both got to the register, I made the first move and asked if you wanted to be a gentleman and pay for my groceries.
That.
If you start with gentlemen as my gentlemanhood.
You seemed confused, so instead I just kissed your neck and wrote down my number on your receipt. I thought you were cute. Reggie, got your good good come and get it assigned. Regina.
She's Reggie, She's the whole food yea yeah.
This next misconnection is titled the one who got away on eight wheels Man for Woman twenty nine Skating fund Zone. I saw you on Tuesday for glow skate night.
Yeah.
Man, what a party? Am I right back in the day.
No, they still are Jose, They have like adult skate night and people go hard like it is intimidating people.
She means her.
It's a doll nine because I said so has had stories from every single location on the misconnections, the liquor store, the t's and now skating.
So I was just looking for I wasn't there.
I'm just saying it's funny because the next thing that he writes is that's the place where all the action is at.
A little bit about me.
I grew up in the area and was homeschools for a long time. Then instead of going to community college, I came to the rink.
Every day.
Now I work here part time and I haven't looked back since. But enough about me. I think you said your name was Italia or Yulia. Hard to hear because when I asked you, I was kind of hot dog in it with one of my skates up in the air almost as high as my belt buckle.
Wow, that's actually impressive.
You were looking good, tall, yellow socks, green windbreaker. I had my eye on you. It is probably because you were the only one I knew for sure was over eighteen. It was a skate legs parentheses JK dot dot dot, although a little no JK.
Yeah, but at least he's checking.
Yeah.
I told my boss Leo about you, and he said I should ask you to play some misspac Man. L O l O l he's such a fossil.
Oh, that's not cool.
Yeah, I guess not. I'm more of a rule breaker. That's why I had the girl at Concessions make you a graveyard on the house.
That was me.
It was you didn't even have to pay for it. If you see this, tell me what color my Quicksilver T shirt was. No hints. Otherwise Leo gets involved and we both don't want that. L O l O l O l Oh. That's signed Jacob skate Ninja number four.
Wait, there's three others.
He's only the fourth best at And apparently those were your Craigslist misconnections for the week.
Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
I don't know about you, but where we live, the weather has been pretty horrendous lately. I'm talking like months and months of non stop gloom, and Jeffery's the whole season.
Of Yeah, I love gray.
Yeah.
I mean, we really could use some sunshine and positivity today, and that's exactly what we're going to get in the form of our new player, John aka the Human Sunray. Wo John, thank you for being here and brightening up the show with your presence. Say literally anything that will put us in a good mood.
Yeah, I don't think I'm the guy for that.
Oh my gosh, I feel so happy.
Shut out of my heart.
You're a worker.
He's like, shut up.
The phone out, quiet down.
It's true. We need to take the sun's rays in doses, like small doses, or else we could get burned. So that was a nice little teaser for us.
I'm going to go put on some SPF in the hallway.
You got to do that for your safety. And we're gonna get to the game. Here thirty seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke outright if you want to win. Are you ready, yes, sir, let's do it. Good luck. Your time starts now. March's National Peanut Month, which southern state produces ninety nine percent of the country's peanuts. Kentucky fifty Cent was one of the original investors in what popular bottled water brand in the holiday movie Home Alone, which actor played Kevin mcaulay culkin. How many sides does a rhombus have? What nursery rhyme was written to warn children of the dangers of wolves, Little red riding hood. Weighing almost three and a half pounds, What's the heaviest internal organ of the human body?
Stomach?
All right, John, that was awesome work, especially since you was your first time on the show. Well done, and because it's your first time, we obviously don't know much about John except for this. His job is this might be a little bit of a secret. He's an insurance fraud inspector. Can you imagine the missions that John must go on, the disguises that he must wear for his job. I bet he parachutes into work every single day.
So facebooks he must peruse for vacation photos when people say that they're actually injured.
Yeah, John, what's the most dangerous inspection that you've ever gone on?
Well?
I work mostly from a desk, so wow, he do give a lot more credit than I deserve.
He could get a paper cut there, Yeah, a paper cut.
He could the desk. The edges of the desk are probably really sharpened pointing, or it.
Could explode at the end of his phone.
Possible.
I hit my knee against my desk when I was standing up the other day.
We knew that he was.
Oh gosh, God, please send flowers and your farewell wishes over to John at his work today. Oh John, it's really just heroic that you're even willing to call into the show today. Thank you so much. Now Brooks, turn you ready, Yes, your time starts now. March's National peanut month, which southern state produces ninety nine percent of the country's peanuts. Georgia fifty cent was one of the original investors in what popular bottled.
Water brand Oh Vitamin Water.
In the holiday movie Home Alone, which actor played Kevin.
Oh my god, you know Macaulay Culkin.
How many sides does a rhombus have?
Has?
Six? What Nursery Rhyme was written to warn children of the dangers of wolves.
Little red Ridinghood. I don't like that's why it was written.
But.
It's literally about don't go into this, you.
Gotta be careful.
Message there.
All right, Well, we'll tell you about it in a second, But first let's go to the scoreboard with jse Oh yeah.
There, that's right, daddy, Oh Jojo Stewie.
Melaios, I missed that episode of Family Guy, But yeah, John, you.
Got three correct today.
Pretty good night.
That's good, nice and brooked.
Four wins, John, Whether you want it to be or not, it was close.
Let's go over the answers for everybody. It's National Peanut Month. The southern state that produces ninety nine percent of our country's peanuts would be Georgia. Fifty Cent was one of the original investors in vitamin water, made hundreds of millions of dollars off of it when it was sold. In the movie Home Alone, Macaulay Culkin is the actor who plays Kevin.
That took me a second you got there.
Though Rambus has four sides to it, it's just kind of some of the sides are a little bit angled. And the nursery rhyme written to warn children of the dangers of wolves was Little Red Riding Hood. The brothers Grim wrote it, wanting to teach children that no matter how cute they look, wolves are bad.
It just seems like those had like bigger life moral lessons than stay out of the Way of.
Wolves Germany in the seventeen hundreds.
Brook is really good.
I could be wrong.
The heaviest internal organ in the human body, weighing three and a half pounds, is the liver. John, I'm sorry was not enough to be Brooke here, but just for playing you do win a pair of tickets to see Potted Potter at the More Theater. The Unauthorized Harry Potter Experience condenses all seven Harry Potter books into a hilarious show that will make you roar with laughter.
Knife I'm a Harry Potter nerd, so I'll take you, dude, perfect.
What house are you in?
Oh? What are you really?
I've definitely gryffindor.
Very smart man.
That's gonna be really He's all the way. Yeah, he loves.
Hey, John.
Come back and play again soon. Okay, awesome, Thanks right, we'll be back to the Windbrooks Block the same time tomorrow.
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
