Brooke and JeffreyFULL SHOW: Hot Teacher Textual Healing, Mermaid Meals + Phone Tap Characters UNITE (3/20/25)
FULL SHOW: Thursday, March 20th, 2025
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Hey, welcome to the full show. It's Brook and Jeffrey and yes you are on the podcast. We got a great textual.
Healing on the way. If you've ever had a teacher fantasy, this is gonna work for you. Okay, I'm just saying.
I really had no not even a professor in college or anything.
I had one really cute.
And of course, right before the full show, we're going to read some of these comments.
This one is from Rain I'm gonna go with this is really sad. They said, I've ordered my sweater. Of course the merch for a cause.
Saturday, that day line is out and the day had arrived, the post office had a small fire.
How ironic, because yes, the proceeds go.
To help wildfire relief efforts. So if you are listening right now, please d M the show. You can find us at Brook and Jeffrey on.
Something.
Yeah.
If the post office isn't gonna we'll step in. All right, let's get to this full show. It's why you're here.
It started right now, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
From time to time on the show we talk about weird foods. Yeah, today Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning and is there any type of cuisine stranger than fair food, strange.
In a good way.
Or fried.
It's all fried, deep fried butter balloons, sugar glazed bacon, corn bombs, chocolate, pesto, ranch milkshakes.
There is nothing we won't fry and ground up and put inside of us.
Well.
Major League Baseball is trying to top it with some of their newest ballpark offerings that are happening this upcoming season.
Why is face such a food scene?
It's honest, it's becoming that a few of them are making headlines. Like the Philadelphia Phillies are serving up s'mores casadillas. They're filled with Natella mini marshmallows and Graham cracker crumbles. But I'm assuming they're using those marshmallows with twenty five percent less sugar. So relatively healthy ballparks, because.
You definitely worry about that when you go to a game.
Total, is that a graham cracker instead of an action?
It looks like a cinnamon sprinkled case.
It's graham cracker crumbler. It is okay. Meanwhile, in Colorado, the Rockies are offering fans dessert nachos tortilla chips, drizzled in caramel with cinnamon berries, powdered sugar, and more goodness.
On the look, they look like elephant ears, like triangle elephanteers.
Yeah, like a funnel cake. I thought this was gonna be like dessert nachos. But still with the.
More pictures and want more pictures, that's all I got.
I got really excited when I heard the Pittsburgh Pirates are offering fans a Polish cannon ball, which I thought was an Urban Dictionary term, and I was ready to get Polish cannon park. But no, Apparently it's just a deep fried ball that's filled with egg noodles, kilbosa, cabbage, bacon, and cheddar cheese. That's so, I guess I'll settle for being blue velvet whoopee pied. At the Kansas City Royals game, they're serving those too.
Wait I can't tell at this point.
No, I am blue velvet whoopee pie. Kansas City Royals are serving those. I know. It's confusing.
You get excited for one reason.
And then you find out it's just a food.
They sound like jokes.
I'll take whatever, as long as Digital Jake films it and puts it on our Instra stories. I know you're up for that, Jake, and you're also always up for giving us some sweet trivia, So let's do it well.
Today is the first day of March Madness. All right, the basketballs are rimming, the brackets are busting. Maybe even more exciting is right here in studio. It's the start of Mark Madness.
Yes, the equally.
Intense trivia competition to name the greatest and most famous marks of all time. Okay, who will be an overrated one seed and who will become a Cinderella story during a special Mark Madness edition of tenty of twenty. You say number one through twenty, I'll give you a hint about a famous mark. They could be from Hollywood, from history, or it could be Jeff's dad mark.
That's right.
You just have to name them correctly to stay in the game. Okay, we'll start with the woman who's Boise State Broncos finished fourth in the Mountain West this year. They lost to the University of San Francisco. That's Alexis.
I don't even know they're playing stuff right now.
I don't know.
You are a collegiate athlete. Can't wait to support.
The Bronco Prime alexis.
Habout a number.
Ten.
Alexis your hint for your famous Mark is the original Twitter user, except he just wrote books instead of tweets. Oh, Mark, who wrote books?
The inventor of Twitter?
No, it's.
It's kind of a play on words there.
Oh is he the guy who bought twitter mak?
Yeah that's it.
Okay, let's misname it.
Mark Whitman, the famous author?
Ah, Mark Whitman in as I was looking for Mark? You got that part?
Yeah, twet. Mark Whitman must have been the brother of Walt Whitman. Okay, yeah, lesser, no, lesser known author did mostly picture books. Yeah, he just grew her mostly picture really good pictures.
Brook, it's your turn. Ten is off the board.
Okay, let's go nine nine Brook.
Your famous Mark hint is he went from moisture farming to saving the galaxy and voicing the joker? Oh what Mark is that?
I mean? It must be yeah Mark Wahlberg, right? Oh did he voice the joke?
Okay?
I was not.
I was thinking actor actress, you're gonna go with Megan Markle There, it's got to Mark in it. And you know that Jake is going to try to fool you.
Do you trust that Facebook? I don't trust that face.
Okay, I'm just gonna stick with the one I said.
I can't stop thinking about. Mark Wahlberg is the joker. Now it's just like a minute.
Bro.
Marky Marks.
Brooks said, Mark Wahlberg is incorrect moisture farm. Yeah, Jose, got it. It's Mark hamillad I.
Always forget, like, yeah, he starts as a farmer.
That's Indiana Jones, Harris and Florida Jason.
Yeah.
I might take a point away.
For that, but my point back, Jose.
It's your turn. Nine and ten are off the board.
Let's go like seven seven Jose.
Your famous mark hint is, Oh, he's the only man who wakes up at four am, praise, works out, films an action movie, shows protein shakes, and still has time to remind you that he was in the I'm.
Gonna say, MacB.
Yeah, great number of guests getting Mark. Jeffrey, it's your turn.
I don't know why we skipped over eight, so give me eight eight Jeffre.
Your mark hint is he's so attractive, he basically won the genetic lottery and a talk show host.
I was gonna go with my dad until you set the genetic lottery. There a talk show host. It could be like Marcus uh.
Or name Mark talk show host Dave Mark a man.
Yeah, he's with you.
Just yell random things that you like that.
Jeff, Yeah, you know who it is.
I know exactly what it is. I'm trying to say that.
Okay, Well, I'm just gonna because I can't think of any other marks other than Mark Ruffalo, So give me.
Mark definitely won the genetic He's a.
Mark Ruffalo incorrect. His name is Mark Consuelos. When he's married Kelly Ripper, handsome, chiseled.
Him.
He's kind of nooyse for some reason.
It's not very tall though.
Look at how we're gonna bring him down.
I mean, great guy.
Yeah, Jose, that means you have one.
Today's Jose gets to choose who gets shocked while singing a song by Mark ronson Uptown Funk featuring Bruno.
Mars Man, who I don't know how to judge whose name sounds like.
Mark Brook has the case sound.
Ah, that's that goes.
Right, Brook, our local Mark.
We got there girls hate Hallelujahah.
Like Mario.
Was collar question at the day, I got your phone Town coming up in just a few minutes, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
We all hate phone scammers, but we rarely talk about your everyday run of the mills scammers doing little things in the community just to get free stuff.
Do you mean, like what you know, going to the bank to check your balance just to get free suckers, or going to the barber for a trim just to grab a handful of free suckers on the way out, or when you go to the sucker factory. Wait a minute, jeff you know what, I don't want to give away all of my secrets here on the show.
I think you could affords a little lollipopster.
Well, no, I will say on the phone right now is a self professed scammer. She says she figured out a way to get free food, not suckers, actual meals from restaurants without stealing or dropping a live scorpion into her bowl of soup. So let's just say her idea is very creative. Okay, on fourteen question marks. You're gonna hear it in a brand new mass speaker coming up right now.
You don't know me, concession, I can't take back o arms.
Mouse speaker text to seventy eight five ninety two says I shine a laser pointer through my neighbor's window. When they're gone, their cat has trashed three sets of blinds chasing it. They have em they have no idea. It's me, am I evil? Yeah, yep, you're like Darth Vader.
But instead of using a laser to destroy planet, to use it to destroy window decre from my kia.
They're probably so confused. They're like, where are you mad at us?
Cats?
And that's probably so tired.
Though when they come home it's kind of nice when there shredded curtains.
Well, because here's the thing.
We all have got inner demons, and instead of letting them out on your friends and your loved ones, why not let them out here on the mass speaker while we hide your identity?
Hey, why do I feel like jose would play with a laser pointer for at least five minutes?
Yeah, there's somebody naturally hit it and I didn't see in your hands. Where's that coming from?
But one woman's decided to take us up on the offer of hiding her identity.
She's chosen the name Jen today. So Jen, welcome to the show.
Hi, how is it Okay, we love hearing secrets and confessions.
What do you got Yeah, voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear it.
Okay.
I have a trick that I used to get free meals from restaurants.
Okay, hey, this is gonna be great.
Well, the last time we heard this, it was involved a woman eating leftovers in the hall way of a home.
Hotewn the upper swedes.
It doesn't matter. It was not fresh meal. Yeah, if you're telling me it's a dumpster behind, we need.
To do that.
So I okay, what do you do?
So I will say that it doesn't work all of the time. It actually most of the time it doesn't work.
Oh, sometimes I will do it.
Sometimes I will do it because you know how certain restaurants say children under five e free, Yeah.
Like the big chains typically.
Right, I'll go to those places and I'll tell the host that I legally identify as a four year old.
Oh my god, right, I mean, the only one that's hooking you up with food is someone who wants to be in on the jokes.
Usually they're not quite sure how to respond to that. But I got a certificate from the state that Yeah, okay, I mean it's fake, but it's printed off on really great computer.
Okay, it was legit.
Yeah, she's on canvas.
Okay, do you have a fake document from the state that says that you are four?
Says I legally am to be treated like a four?
Real?
Oh my?
I mean everybody doesn't go for it, but a lot of restaurants will just say it's free for kids under five if they're a company by an adult.
Wait, does that mean you have to bring someone with you to pull this off?
My buddies and I do it though. My my buddies will do and they love the whole fun and falling through the.
Chase, you know, right, Okay, you have accomplices. Now that's great.
I could see why.
This randomly works, because if it happened to me I was your server, I would be like, okay, they have a legal document, like we don't want to get sued.
This is a legal document that says you're younger than you are. Listen, I've tried to get it. It doesn't exist, and I am only twenty.
She does have one.
I could see how a restaurant worker, especially like a young hostess, that wouldn't know any better than to just be like.
Okay, I don't feel bad because Okay, maybe you don't care about screwing the whole chain out of food, but you're screwing.
The waiter out of a tip and you're taking up a table.
Well, I didn't say that I didn't tip the waiter.
I just said that I got the food for free.
Half exactly, it was free.
Bro, she's four, don't yell at her.
When did you try this the first time? What was that like? Were you scared?
Oh?
Not really, because I did have something fifty with me, But it was exciting just to see if I could get away with things, and I did stealing.
You know, like people say they get an adrenaline rush out of because they know they're doing.
You get your free chicken.
So do you ever get any like backlash from it?
Oh?
Sure, I mean some places have thrown me out. I've been banned from a couple of places.
So it's a hack for free food if you don't have any pride.
Clearly I have no dignity.
So whatever she's like, I tried to eat lunch two hours ago. I've been kicked out of four places though someone takes me.
Do you throw a tantrum when they kick you out.
I haven't actually tried that yet, but my idea, I'll just pitch a sit and see how far it'll go.
I'm just shocked at certain places. Whatever go for.
It easier for them to say yes.
That's the point there.
Nowadays, people are just so scared to offend others.
So yeah, okay, yeah, you don't want to offend the four year old trying to get free food from your restaurants, So just give them the macarena away.
If you're three or four, text in if you're offended.
By this, this is your group that she's messing.
That's right, she'll probably ruin the free food for kids for everybody.
I mean, that's how it works.
And imagine when she's a senior, she's gonna be like forty, like, oh, by the way.
Yeah, well just make your own peanut butter and jolly sandwich, ket up your own dynamo.
It wouldn't it be amazing.
It'd be amazing to go down in history as a single individual who actually inadvertently got rid of free food for everybody for all time.
You take pride in that. Interesting, okay, And I.
Don't think it's going in history books.
Yeah, not so much.
I think it's good that you keep this one a secret.
Yeah, I mean, no part of you feels like this is wrong, I'm doing.
A bad thing, not even a little.
What about just like this is weird?
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
But that's the fun part too. Okay, Okay, let's a great flag line. See how far you can push the envelope.
All right, Wow, I don't know that it's weird in a fun way.
Yeah, I'm kind of rooting for the laser pointer cat lady at the beginning of this.
But well, Jenn, good luck with your ongoing restaurant scam and text in the seven eight, five nine too. If you have a confession you've been holding on to, we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you our next mass speaker. Your phone TAP's coming.
Up right after this freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
It's time for your phone tap. And if you put a room for rent up on Craigslist at a great price, the plus is a lot of people will probably see that ad.
Yeah.
The minus is a lot of people are probably gonna see that ad. And in this case, we have many personalities on this show. So I don't think this dude is ready for the onslaught of characters who.
Would absolutely love to live with him.
In your phone tap right now.
Hello, Hey, my cousin Thirdo says, you got.
A spare room.
Yes there is a yeah, so like.
Look, I just got out, so like I kind of need to like get in, you know what I'm saying.
Got out? Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
I got out like into the world like I'm free.
Man.
Okay, Yes, So my like my question to you is if I read the room, I'm gonna be there a lot, because not because I want to, but because I kind of have to, you know what I'm saying.
You know what I do greatly appreciate the call, and I wish you the best of luck, but the room has been reckoned.
Hey wait, I'm in our homes like I know how to make wine from a toilet.
I can't show you.
Hello ah, Hello, hello, Hello, how are you?
I'm great. My name's Alan. I'm calling about the room for rent.
Alan. Yes, there is a room.
Perfect because I got to get out of my senior home that my family put me.
In, uh home.
I'm sorry, that's right.
I'm out of there. You never spoke to me. If anybody else you sound kind of young. By the way, maybe we could wing man for each other down at Joanne Fabric.
Okay, Alan, you can help.
Me pull some tail.
You need to stay cut. I will got a good place for you.
My one rule is if you see my king and hanging off the door handle, then don't come in.
I'm listening.
They're probably looking.
You're kidding me.
I'm not going back to those prudes.
You gotta go back down.
If you were me, you wouldn't say that. Sending me back to a senior home. You'd get no nookie.
I wouldn't be advising you come here either.
Hey, bukaroo, you need to treat a World War One veteran with more respect.
There's no look, there's no World War One veterans.
Sure is no there is.
I'm gonna come down over to your place and the head with one of my walkers that I just urted.
I'm hanging up now. Goodbye.
Wow, what a sissy.
Hello Oi, I'm calling about the Dems. Die bunker.
Not a bumker. It's a spare bedroom.
Okay, call it what you like. My question is Can I board up the windows so no one can see in?
So?
No, no, you can't. You're not going to board anything up.
Can I install anti Wi Fi software which would make Wi Fi not look stupid?
No, there's no adding or altering or changing.
I like, you'll follow you and I I'm about to be bunk mates.
Oh bugg? He just went a won.
Hello?
Yeah, hell.
Yeah, hello? Hello? Who is this whom I'm thinking to?
Sometimes?
I just want to know? I knew Alona.
I'm sorry I don't understand you. Are you calling about the room?
Yes, yes, I don't.
I don't. I'm sorry. I don't follow you at all. Take whatever you have out of your mouth, or don't call me back. I don't care.
Is there a loss machine?
Hi, it's Ellen again. I just got one more quick question for you. I couldn't tell from the photo. Is there a mirror above the bed?
Gosh, what a freaking snowflake?
Valutations. My name is Edward and I am looking for a room.
Please.
I pause for dramatic effect. My speech coach told me that makes.
Your words more powerful. Yeah, well when'd you look at that?
Now?
How many females are allowed in the room at once? Get stroll by sometimes you know, I have girls over and just well not actually I've never had a girl over, but I'm planning.
Someday.
Are you done well?
And I was gonna say something else when it sounds like you're already checked out on me kind of like the girls I invite.
Over, so it's not surprising.
Do any girls already live there?
No, sir, Thank you, sir, goodbye?
All right, my mine?
Hello, Hey man, is this Andrew?
Yeah?
Hey, dude, I feel like we owe you a big apology from our entire radio show.
God you're your best friend.
Dennis asked us to do a prank call on.
You, man.
Yeah, we did more than one.
Yeah, but the last hour kind of spamming you.
Hey, man, like, are you sure like that room's unavailable or whatever, because like I really need it you free.
Wake up? Every morning was food taps weekday mornings on the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Under the umbrella of forbidden love.
Assuming that you are single, who in your life should you never ask out.
Your male man? Nice cats, but you know he's been around the block a few times, so literally probably not your grandpa's best friend.
Yo.
Well again to experienced, you'd never be able to keep up.
Okay, how rich is.
Well?
One of our listeners is thinking about crossing into the forbidden love zone because she had a moment in a school gymnasium, and now she needs our help before this chance disappears forever or we'll find out. You'll hear why it's going to be more than a little awkward in a brand new Textual Healing that's coming up right.
After this.
Text you will he then textual.
Of all the places that we want you to put your fingers, maybe the number one place is on your phone.
For me, it's Brook and Jeffery in the morning. No, we want you to run those digits all up and down your screen as we help you craft the perfect text message right here for our segment Textual Healing.
I love this segment.
Yeah, if you haven't heard it before, it's where we help listeners who are stuck and not sure what to write to somebody in their life. We'll work with you to come up with something passable that is our vow to you.
I also saw standard I how you're going to say something passive aggressive, which I'm like, that's also probably true.
That's always on the table for us, and which listener has emailed the show today requesting our gentle textual touch. Her name is Misty, So let's welcome or Misty welcome to the Brook and Jeffery in the morning.
Hi, thank you so much.
Hi guys, are you in an airport right now?
Yeah, there's a lot going on right here?
Okay? How's this?
That sounds a lot better? Okay?
Okay, amazing, great.
I'm so sorry that they're good nasty. So tell us what made you email the show and how can we help heal you textually?
Okay, So I want to send a text to my daughter's teacher.
Daughter's teacher. Yeah, the awkward.
It's a little awkward. So here's the lowdown. So my daughter is graduating elementary school. She's in fifth grade.
Brook, don't cry, don't cry. It happens to every child.
I know.
I've got to be there to cry.
I'm doing my best. But I am a little bit happy about it because I had to go to the school to help decorate for an event and one of her teachers was there and we kind of had a moment.
What we're good at that moment?
What type of yeah? Describe this moment to us, and don't spare any details.
We were we were just decorating together and we started really hitting it off me a lot, and we we had like sort of a heart to heart situation where it got like a little deeper than a teacher conversation, like chemistry.
I've gone out drinking with some of my kids parents or kids teachers.
You know, like.
Chemistry, but like you can be friends or just people, right? Is that what you mean?
Enough with how Brooke alienates herself at her children's school, Let's talk more to misty ha mister, give us what's the lowdown with this teacher? Are we talking guy?
Girl? Married? Single? What's the situation?
Not as wants to know.
So he is a guy, he's single. I am divorced as of like little over a year.
Okay, okay, that's a good time to start dating right single.
Yeah. So I don't know. I'm just like kind of ready to get back out there and I feel like we have this moment and I need you guys to help me craft a text to this teacher because I am way too embarrassed with all him.
Do you feel like there was a little bit of flirting?
Do you want us to craft a text to push it into flirt mode or like hey, I'm throwing the vibe out.
Yeah, and I think it's a really good time too, because I didn't want to get involved with anything that matter while my daughter was still at school. It would have been really awkward. And now that she's graduating, I feel like it's good timing.
Yeah, your daughter would have got better grades in school. That's fine if you want to avoid the awkwardness.
The thing is is you don't want to come off as like a divorce mom hitting on the hot teacher. I mean, I just am thinking that he gets it all the time, and I'm not saying don't.
Do it that I could see why better than the rest of the doors.
Yeah, okay, So what's this teacher's name?
Is?
Nick?
Nick?
Okay, So what do we write to Nick to put it out there that now that her daughter is going to be graduating from elementary school, she is open for business.
Interesting start would be to compliment him about how well he taught her daughter, like you mentioned the kid.
I think it's a good thought, Jose. But then she then she comes off as like the mom to the daughter and he's the teacher, like solidifies that relationship exactly.
You're re establishing the professional part.
We need to bring out her sexual side. Yeah, now, Brooke, you I don't.
Know you were decorating that gym. Did you like my balloons?
Oh?
Okay? If you like a restraining order to put out against you that one.
I think honestly, you just start with something really simple, like I had so much fun with you the other day.
Okay, Well, that situation happened like a few months ago. I see him a lot because I'm like involved in the classroom, but that was like a moment that happened a little while ago.
Okay, what about you just hold on?
Let's hear what Alexis would say. What would your mom say to one of your teachers?
I don't want to know. I actually don't know what Barb would do.
Yeah, okay, maybe.
You text bar Yeah we can get her advice on it.
What we brainstorm some more?
What if you just okay, because it is kind of out of the blue, right, like you haven't talked about hanging out outside of school, can you just start with I have a crazy idea.
Yeah, I like I like the idea Brook of leaving it open ended where it's like I have a big question to ask, or like, I have a crazy idea, something that's going to get him interested and make him respond, and we exactly we.
Need him to respond, so that would be perfect.
Then if it goes bad, you could just say a class pizza party.
Yeah, we need to keep the eject button on the table though, No.
Alexa, we should have a backup, an inject button. Ready.
How do you feel about that, misty?
No, that sounds good. That sounds like like a neutral in Yeah.
No, other divorced moms in your school are thinking this way. So let's start typing something out.
So I'm putting I have a crazy idea, and I'm gonna say I feel like we bonded.
No, no, no, on the table.
No, that's it. That's all you say.
Does I have a crazy idea?
Period?
No?
Like dot dot.
Yeah, I've been thinking. Okay, I've been thinking about something for a while and I have a crazy idea dot dot.
Dot dot any emojis or even that like little excited kind of blushy persons.
Okay, you to inject button?
Yea grandma? All right, so let's not do that.
We could just send the grandma mojah my mom sent sensual lips for a long time, thinking that they were just regular kisses.
So, okay, reinforcing emojis are a bad idea. Let's just go emojiless on this one. Okay, got it?
Should I send it?
Yes, let's go Okay.
All right, you're freaking out. You don't need to freak out yet.
That's not what we wanted to say.
We got her.
Yeah, you're gonna be fine. We've ripped the band aid off. Now we just have to wait and see if hot teacher Nick responds to you when we come back and continue with more textual healing, try to score you a date, right.
Like textual healing one one, Jeff, that's.
Right, we're doing it right afternoon. If you're just joining us, we're in the middle of textual healing. Talking to a mom whose daughter is about to graduate from elementary school. She's been divorced for about a year now and felt like she had a moment with her daughter's teacher while they were setting up decorations at school together. Teachers also single. Yeah, and she has now come to us asking for help because her daughter isn't going to be going to school there soon once she graduates, and now she's trying to put out the vibe vibe over text that she is interested.
Can you imagine if this works out and you bring home your daughter's fist grade teacher as your boyfriend.
I mean, miss, that's the dream, right, it.
Is kind of the dream I'm not going to I mean, you know.
He's good with kids, and he can help with all her homework that.
You don't get bring the vibes down.
But remember we're still talking to a guy. It is hard for us to know when girls are hitting on us. Yeah, so we're gonna have to spell this out and be creative.
Especially teachers who always want to keep it professional whenever they're talking to parents, So there's a little bit of an extra barrier there. We've already sent one text that said I've been thinking about something for a while and I have a crazy idea.
Dot dot do tell us? He responded, please, okay, so he said.
He responded, he said, Hey.
Best room mom in the world, love to hear it. Dot dot what you got?
Okay?
School?
He called.
He still thinks said her idea is going to be like a pizza party, like you said, Alexa.
Maybe he can't assume he's a teacher.
He can't go like, yeah her, maybe pizza parties are his love language though, so we're still he is, you know, he's an elementary school guy.
After well, I think right now you need to establish that you're not talking as the room mom right now.
Use I'm a room pair and I get it.
You know, you need to be like, actually, this idea is for outside the classroom.
Yeah, I'm taking my room mom clothes off.
Slowly.
I think you say, hat.
Just one article of clothing. Okay, so maybe that's a good way to start. Actually, I'm taking my room mom hat off right now.
And my idea is for outside the classroom.
Yes, I actually like this.
Okay, gotcha?
Should we do emoji?
Is there like a celebration emoji like where they're blowing up?
Oh, sexy red lady dance emoji?
What about just the smirk maybe.
Like smirky guys that Yeah.
What do you think?
Full purple devil? But it's flirty, you know what I mean?
Yeah?
Okay, I like, Okay, go ahead and send that.
The sirk makes up for the hat comment.
Yeah, makes it sexyer.
I'm a mom, but I'm a fun mom. Yeah, so there we go.
Okay, Okay, I said, my god, you.
Can't go back from sir em No, you can't know.
You can what really?
Yeah?
Hell you could say your finger slipped.
Yeah, angry swear, that's what I meant to say.
My daughter got ahold of my phone. Just do poop emoji my kids.
Like, yeah, you know he's a teacher. He'll it's out there. Basically, at least, you're starting to put the vibe out there.
We're stepping away from room mom into just regular Mi.
Does he take it for him to like process right? Because this is a shock to him to get this.
Wait wait wait, wait he's totally running back like wait wait wait.
Oh he's writing she didn't say the word.
Are you guys gonna do it?
No?
I don't say it unless I hear the word. Okay, okay, it's rules.
There's rules to that song.
Did he send it?
He answered? Yeah, okay.
So what does he say?
Oh? My god?
Okay, so it says, oh, does this have anything to do with the top secret mission Ava told me about last week?
What so weird?
That's my daughter?
Your daughter?
Yeah, you have a top secret mission or the teacher as a top No, no, her daughter does what do you know what do you know what he's talking about with your daughter?
Actually, I have no idea. That is so weird.
Okay, maybe the wires are getting crossed here. He's probably thinking of something different than the conversation we're trying to have with you.
Yeah, he's like, it's about kids in school. I got Does this guy not know what a smirk emoji is.
A good teacher?
Guy?
Next time you're having all the pervy teachers from when I was done, exactly bring them back.
It was with weird lunch visit hours.
So sorry, we're hating on your crush now.
I feel like we got to get them off the kid thing though.
Well, what is this top secret mission that her daughter is talking to her teacher about?
Though?
Shouldn't we ask what that is?
Yeah?
I would love to know what that is because if that's something like weird and creepy that I.
Don't know about, that's scary.
Want to be weird and creepy?
What's the top secret mission?
Like?
What did you already? Did you already text that back?
I sent it?
I asked him what the top secret mission was?
Okay, Okay, now I feel like we're really going far away from the flirting.
Did you put another smirk on the end of the top secret mission text.
Really I didn't time, but.
We can always jump up to the Purple Devil emoji if you get desperate.
I mean, it's it's.
Risky, But no, I think you got to go to a scenario for that really literal with this guy.
Yeah, there's.
This one only go.
Dots dots, dots, dot dot.
So okay, you did it wrong.
There's the right way to do it in one way is with energy and fun.
Yeah did he right?
Sorry?
Touched you back? What's the secret mission?
So he goes. Ava keeps coming in at recess and telling me you talk about me at dinner and I should ask you out already.
What wait?
No, I am your daughter.
Your daughters going in and saying ask my mom out.
Yeah, why wouldn't you? It's her favorite teacher. Oh god, you know kids can't keep secrets. This is perfect. Why do you guys thinks this.
Must be so embarrassing.
She took all your playing cards away from you.
What are you gonna write back?
I don't even know my whole game? Oh my god.
Okay, Misty, here's the good news is that he wouldn't have said that to you if he wasn't interested. Point, the fact that he's bringing it up means that he feels like it's a safe thing to talk about.
In the middle year.
You need to put embarrassed face emoji and then just say, oh my god, my daughter just blew up my game.
Yeah, she's grounded for life. And you and I am a date.
Yeah, I don't go to sexy with it.
I think you say, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed.
Emoji had the eyes.
Oh yeah, I put the hands of the eyes just because it's a little more embarrassed.
Yeah.
And then just like how she called me out or something.
One thing that I know is good to get people to respond is like I don't even know what to say, dot dot dot, because then it puts it in his court.
Okay, okay, I sent it.
Oh my god, you guys, this is perfect. He's that is such a flirty thing for him to say back to you.
It really is.
But your daughter's gonna have some really unrealistic expectations about this date.
Yeah, and also you probably need to have a conversation with your daughter about what needs to stay at the dinner table and what gets shared with everybody.
I'm only wondering that my mind is just like spinning with what else?
Her? Teachers know.
The table, you know, teachers know everything.
Yeah, the kid's got the biggest mouth. He did reply.
Okay, so he says, he says, yeah, she said you were going to reach out to a radio show about it and call me. Oh my god, he said, he said you were going to reach out to a radio show and call me. So I want to avoid that. Oh boy, oops, free Friday?
Are you free Friday?
He's still on the radios.
Okay.
The good news is misty he asked you out. It sounds yeah.
And you know what, we usually didn't need our help. Ava had your back the whole time.
Your daughter's got you, man, I cannot believe his work.
They give us an update after the day. I want to hear how.
Yeah, oh absolutely, or my daughter will call you.
That's a successful textual healing. If you're too shy to do a second date or anything else that involves phone to phone conversations, a bunch of email us and we can.
Help text your problems away. That's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Forget Caviare and Gold crusted truffle steaks because apparently there's a new exotic food only the ultra wealthier eating. And the weirdest part is it talks to you.
What the heck?
Plus, Brook, what if I told you that you've been doing laundry wrong your entire life?
Yeah, because I've been doing it and I think that's wrong.
I'm not just talking about how you rub dirt to clean it. I'm talking about something that will literally blow your mind when you realize this is one hundred percent true. All of that and more is coming up in a brand new Woo TikTok click shot that happens right now. Did you hear about the Cinderella basketball team that just snuck into the tournament last second?
I love that story happens every year ago.
Well, I predict they're gonna win it. All my money is on.
Woo TikTok click shots, TikTok click shock, the Cinderella story where.
We discussed the biggest TikTok videos of the past week. We're gonna get right into your first TikTok click shock, which is a hot new food trend. And Brook, you love seafood dishes.
I do, so you probably already know all about this, but I doubt it.
There's rumors and a lot of people on TikTok believe that it's true. Yeah, that super rich people are eating mermaids.
Don't laugh.
There is wrapped into water.
Here's one lady who lives in the mountains of Tennessee talked to an ex convict who used to catch mermaids for a living.
Works.
He said that it was like a pasty whitish green skin and the fin okay from like the hip bone down. It was just like the body of a fish and like greenish black hair, wasn't pretty, and it spoke. He couldn't understand what language it was speaking in, but it felt like it was begging for its life. And they took this siren to a different warehouse and they say it's like really common among wealthy and they all had their knives and forks and everything else. It was set up like Hublotchi sort of. It's one of the things that he and presidents don't know about.
Oh, those are called facts, brook.
I love to hear what you have to say.
I have a headache every day and that just blew my like, shut up, shut up.
I understand that you are skeptical that certain wealthy people are not eating mermaids in your mind.
If people are texting in that they don't believe it too, Jeff.
Well, okay, those people aren't alone. This guy from England is also a little skeptical.
Has anyone seen this mermaid eating party thing? I don't understand. I'm trying to touch it, but everyone's saying they've seen the video where the people are actually eating mermaids and they have like a fridge full of live mermaids. I want to see this video. I've looked everywhere. I don't understand. Obviously it's fake, right.
Yeah, there's like a dive bar in the middle of Montana that has some mermaids that swim around.
They're real people with fins on.
You don't is the reason that you can't find the videos online because the billionaires control the media to make sure it stays a secret.
All I know is I'm hungry for Unicorn.
Okay, yeah, I don't know which billionaire we need to talk to get some mermaid Benny Hanna style, but Bezos if you're listening on Free next Weekend, okay, hit me up.
Bezos would be the first in line at the Mermaid buffet.
Let's be honest, that was a TikTok click shot here next TikTok click shot. All started from a video where a boyfriend and girlfriend were arguing about his unusual laundry habit. She was freaking out because he pours the laundry detergent into the little cap and then puts the whole thing into the machine. The cap, the detergent, everything.
You do, it washes the soap out of the capri So I do it with I do the detergent on top, and then I use the water that's coming out.
I have never heard of this book because.
You've never done your own laundry, Jeff.
But this is actually the instructions on the back of the laundry detergent says to put the cap in the machine.
No, you don't have to remember to pull out for the dryer or else. I've heard it in there before, and I'm like, it's plastic, you can't.
One of the people who was just as surprised as I was did a video that got over a million views. He decided to investigate this himself, and here's what happened. Hey, there's way too many of y'all saying these are the instructions.
Toss it in the washing machine when you're elude. I'm here, my friends, do you put the washerman? You do not put the cap in. If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I would think it was a lie. Sold it okay. So yeah, it says to clean it, it says to put it.
Yeah, toss it in the washing machine.
I've seen it all.
I am just as shocked as all these other people. I don't know how you are so normal.
They did it for years.
That's how I Learneds actually weighed in on this. They say, the reason why you're supposed to put the cap in there is because it prevents it from getting sticky and gross from all the detergent residue.
Mind blown.
True, laundry is such a disaster right now. That's the cap needs to be washed.
I I don't know why.
I don't think those are good for the environment.
They're great one.
And then you put yeah, snacks and chores at the same time.
If nothing else good happens you today, at least you learn the laundry lesson from this range.
Showy, So Alexis has been doing laundry correct.
Yeah, Alexis is ahead of the curve. Look at that. That's a TikTok clihot. Final TikTok click shot is from a young woman who goes by the handle Dana Freaking Donnelly. She got over two million views almost three hundred thousand likes because she figured out a hack to instantly put yourself in a great mood every morning without injecting, snorting, or butt chugging anything. So this already beats amine and she even demonstrates it here.
She is happy Monday.
I just saw a video that's o.
If you jump up and down fifty to one hundred times when you first wake up, it puts you in a good moves.
Let's go.
The videos like sped up like twenty times or she did injects upon before she.
And she never posts a video after that. That's literally she literally doesn't so Felle never follows up. Unfortunately.
Come into the studio every morning and jump a hundred times together.
Well, it's a first when you first wake up because if you missed it. The theory is you can instantly boost your mood for the whole day by doing fifty to one hundred stationary jumps. First thing, when you get up in the.
Morning, because that makes it more fun.
A lot of comments came in. One person said, call it whatever. It's just exercising, which produces serotonin, so no, duh, it works.
But if we need to trick ourselves in, some people like me need to trick ourselves into exercise, and that's okay.
Yeah, that's true too.
Another person said, I hate my downstairs neighbors, so of course I'm gonna do this. I didn't think of that, so there you go. I'm mind blown.
Yeah, we'll go do some laundry.
Jeffs the billionaires eating mermaids was the least surprising story for me.
That you came those.
Seriously, those were your stories of the.
Day, Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
We've got a return player named John on the phone. He's played you once before, Brooke tied you, and the last time he was on he mentioned.
That he likes to play board games. So our producer asked top three favorite board games, and.
Here's what John said.
Apparently number three Kerason, number two, Ticket to Ride, number one Cascadia.
I have heard of it.
Whatever you have? Are these all Russian board games?
John?
What's what happened?
To Connect four, John, are you above Connect four?
I play Connect four occasionally with my kids too.
Then did what's Cascadia?
It's a board game where you kind of build habitats.
It's basically kind of centered around Pacific Northwest.
It sounds like a team thing.
I like it when there's a winner and a loser, so I can make fun of my kids afterwards.
Yeah, I like to point and say you suck. At the end of the game.
You get to belittle children in that game, John, belittle them.
I don't like how you I'm not sure I like how your mind works.
John, but I like the way the things that you're saying.
Let's try and bring it back to a normal space. When we get to the question brook is leaving the studio, Let's go and you got thirty seconds, answer as many as possible. If you don't know when you could say pass, You have to beat her out right if you want to win, though you ready, yep, good luck. Your time starts now. On this day in nineteen sixty nine, Yoko Ono married what member of the Beatles John Lennon in acchoir? What's the lowest vocal class a singer can be? In Wellington? Is the capital of what Island Nation, New Zealand. Identical twins have identical fingerprints as well. True or false? What candy was used to lure et in the eighties movie.
Oh My God?
Theis what is the most populous city in the United States?
New York?
Wow?
John, you are not messing around this time.
Well done.
Brooke is coming back into the studio now and it says on my screener that John is a scientist who is doing tests for cancer drugs and loves the Wendy's Baconator.
Oh I heard free drugs.
D we make any of that up?
John? Definitely in the baconator part, it is not true.
Really, what's your favorite sandwich?
Then? I actually not much fted?
Okay, John, you make it really hard to get to know you.
He's just a health nut loving, more game playing, wholesome dad.
Answer the world?
What can you stop me? Perfect?
John?
What's the worst thing you've ever done to somebody? You have somebody before? No, of course you haven't.
The last time I did tell a dad joke?
That also doesn't make you a bad person, My friend.
You are so I almost feel bad that I'm going to try to beat you here.
Yeah, so you think of one bad thing that you've done in your entire life while Brook answers some questions. We'll get back to at the end of this. But Brooke, are you ready?
Can I just think of another bad joke?
Yes, we'll take anything bad about you. Here we go, Brook, it's your turn.
You're ready?
Yes, your time starts now. On this day. In nineteen sixty nine, Yoko Ono married what member of the Beatles in acchoir? What's the lowest vocal class a singer can be in?
Uh? Bass?
Wellington is the capital of what island nation?
M Wellington is Wales.
Identical twins have identical fingerprints as well. True or false?
Uh?
False?
What candy was you? Was used to lure et in the.
Eighties movie Pieces?
What is the most populous city in the United States?
New York City?
Oh?
This could be a close one. Today we're gonna head on over the scoreboard to see how you Bolt did with Jose.
Everything you say makes me want to come over there and punch you in the faith.
Malangios, John, you did not get one wrong. You got six in a row?
Wow?
Not connect four connects?
Six?
Find I lost on Wellington?
I think Brook, you did get the same exact amount of questions.
If you got just one wrong, you lost. You love.
God, John, Congratulations, Yeah, you took down you are one zero time.
Quite the battle, John, well done. Let's go over the answers for everybody on this day. In nineteen sixty nine, Yoko Ono married John Lennon and ruined the Beatles forever and acquire the lowest vocal classes singer can be in is Base Wellington is the capital of New Zealand. Yeah, identical twins have identical fingerprints. That's false. Nobody has identical fingerprints. Reese's Pieces was the candy used to.
Lure Et in the eighties movie and the most populous city in the United States would be New York with eight point five million people. LA would be second at three.
Point eight not even close. So John, congratulations, you beat Brook. You get one hundred dollars plus just for playing. We're also giving you a pair of tickets to see Mickey seventeen from the Academy Award winning writer director of Parricide Bung Jun Ho comes as next cinematic experience. Mickey seventeen starring Robert Pattinson. You could blast off with Mickey seventeen in theaters and Imax.
Now, careful, John, then why are you listening to the show The Dummer.
You're gonna don't, John, No, John, perfect, You're you're curing cancer out there, So keep doing what you do and come back and beat brook again soon.
Okay, sound good? All right, we'll be back to do Winnenbrooks Block the same time
Tomorrow, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
