FULL SHOW: Monday, March 31st, 2025
Get your 2nd Date Update Merch For A Cause HERE!
Curious if we look as bad as we sound? Follow us @BrookeandJeffrey:
We're gonna get you started this week with a brand new full show. Thanks for being here. It's Brook and Jeffrey.
Today on the podcast.
And today we've got seductive robots on a new loser line. We got the most green flag thing a guy can put in his dating profile. Oh and it has phone tap character from me.
Hey, I don't know this phone tap character will ever be back, but oh it's gonna be cool spanished like Marla was there.
Yeah, So before we get to the full show, let's get some comments. What do we got? All right?
Well we got trench Anon said I go to sleep to these now every night.
You are officially my dopamine for better or worse.
The sleep was kind of a insult. Yeah right, but the made a compliment, so I'm back high.
So yeah, I made one of them.
Yeah, And then we got I gotta read this just because the name is Mulligan, A Muller, I don't know, Oh is that what that is?
Mulligan.
I'm a huge devoted fan of Brook and Jeffrey all the way from Ethiopia. Your showing so much laughter, energy and pure joint in my life. I can't go a day without it. I remember almost every episode because each one is unforgettable and keeps me coming back for more.
Wow, I don't even remember.
I know, I don't either. Our producer will ask us, you know when we did the thing, and I'm like.
No idea. I don't know.
We just didn't start, no idea.
But yeah, sending love and appreciation from Ethiopia. Keep doing what you do best.
Thank you so much for sharing those such kind words. We'll hope you love the show as much as we love you. Yes, starting to sound desperate. Let's get this started right now.
Breaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Oh god, you guys probably heard this already. Paul Broom died that someone you know, I don't think someone someone we know, famous Paul that we didn't remember.
To make me.
Repeat this the broommeister, Paul Broom.
You know he lives in London, Alexis Jimney Sweep.
Oh my god. Wow, Okay, fine, you know what, maybe people don't know who he is, but they will because he used to joke around with his family that when he does pass away, he wanted a Snickers themed coffin. Yeah, he just got his wish.
Wow, it's the packaging of Snickers and it says I'm nuts. On the side, could you not love this?
Yeah, it should say You're not you and you're dead.
They passing the picture around. We're gonna put it up on our instant stories at broken, Jeffrey. But the coffin really does look like a Snickers bar wrapper, and on the side of it, in big letters, it says I'm nuts and that Snickers font Yes, it like.
Is he could have like caramel filling the hole.
He should hopefully, and that man is going to the good place in the sky.
And his family says Paul was one of life's true characters, and his Snicker's farewell needed to reflect that.
Brook.
Does this give you any ideas? Do we need to curl you up into a circle and stuff you inside a Reese's cup when you're all.
Setting obviously put me in a wine bottle?
Should we liquefy you first?
And now it's more of a like a poor little out for brush. Yeah, ok, bottles.
And definitely at least one of us should be buried with a shot collar around our necks. Oh man, Jake, before the trivia, can you make that happen for us?
I'd love to, Jeffrey.
Let's do it.
Close to forty years ago, a TV show debuted called Lifestyles of the Rich in.
The Face Oh yeah.
Yeah, our host Robin Leech would take viewers on a tour of absurdly expensive mansions and show off some of the ridiculous items that wealthy people waste their money on.
It was the original cribs.
Yeah.
That's why today we'll be playing a special or fiction edition of plenty of twenty. You guys, say number one through twenty. I'll tell you about an elaborately expensive item that an insanely wealthy person may have actually purchased for their home. You just have to tell me if it's real richen or if it's just made up fiction. Something tells me you're all gonna be shocked by some of the real ones on here that actually do exist. We'll start with the woman who is definitely taking notes for her Amazon whistless. That's Alexis.
Yeah, you get these things on Amazon.
Huh too, Alexis. Your ultra rich item is gold infused water. Wow, it's sold as a luxury health drink. This ultra premium water contains tiny edible gold flakes, because apparently hydration isn't enough unless it sparkles on the way down. Is this rich in or fiction?
Think of gold Schlager. I mean we've been doing that.
I don't know if they put gold flakes on all the fancy food to make it.
Yeah, sounds better.
I don't know.
Rich In Lexa said rich and that is. That's right, it's rich and multiple companies make it. One is aura natural gold water source from the Ban Mountains in Romania, naturally enriched with real gold and silver.
I will only respect that if they're lying to all the rich people and it's coming out of a tap in Detroit.
Brook, it's your turn. Two is off the bat? Okay nine nine Brook, Your ultra rich item is a temperature controlled caviar spoon. It's a smart spoon that ensures your caviar is served at the perfect temperature at all times. It is is that richen or fiction?
I don't even know how you eat it?
You little pancakes or some cream.
You have to eat it on a pearl oyster spoons.
Tiny.
Imagine Brook eating caviar like gallam eating a fish.
The only thing that I think that this could not be real is that it wouldn't look fancy right. A temperature controlled spoon is going to be big and bulky, and it feels like if you're eating cavia, you want it like dainty and made of pure silver. So I'm gonna say it's fiction, Brook says fiction.
She is.
Right out there, Jose, it's your turn. Two and nine are off the board. Now's go seven. Seven. Your ultra rich item is a private submarine with a wine cellar. Is that rich fiction?
I could see like a personal submarine, but just for the why.
But sometimes, like have you seen where people have like a submarine parked outside their like water front mansion, and then they bring people down to the submarine down to go to I don't know, a little.
Party or something.
Can you get a d u I in a submarine? It's a b ui, but it's like a little police sub you overs shark.
Bad.
I'm going to just say it's fiction, Jose says fiction. He is sadly incorrectly, Some ultra wealthy individuals commissions custom submarines featuring temperature controlled wine storage, ensuring their vintage collection states pristine even in the depths of the ocean. Wow, Jeffrey, we're on to you. We're talking ultra rich items. Two, seven, and nine have been taken eighteen. Your ultra rich item is a service provided by a person. Their title is mood Butler.
Butler.
Yeah, this person wakes you up each morning with a custom playlist, breakfast aromas, and acts as a daily mood consultant. Rich in or fiction, Oh my gosh.
Just a person in charge of your temperament as soon as you wake up, A literal mourning person.
So you're never in a bad mood because you're rich.
Job, but you also don't want to be in too good of a mood.
You need to mean business.
So I mean, when you're that rich, you have to have a person that does one little job for everything in your house. I'm saying mood butlers are rich in.
Jeffrey says rich and he is sadly incorrect. That is a fiction. Oh yeah, we'll meet you one, Alexis I need a number?
Ten.
Your ultra rich item is a two million dollar pigeon. Competitive pigeon racing is a thing, and the richest bird wins a lot of races. But at two MILLI I need to know, is this rich in or fiction?
Pigeon racing is huge in China, though.
Really, I mean people pay like thousands for a dog, So why not for a pigeon that you got a race?
I want to say it's rich In, Alexis says rich In.
Cho right.
The bird's name is Armando, and he's a Belgian racing pigeon, and he sold for this mind blowing amount to like brooks out, a Chinese owner. Wow, Broke, We're down to you if you get this wrong. Alexis wins the rich addition of plenty of twenty me one. Your ultra rich item is a private cloud for personal Shade. A billionaire funded company claims to use drone technology to create a hovering cloud that follows you, ensuring you're never in direct sunlight.
Rich In okay, But honestly, though, rich women are very worried about sun damage on their skin. You know what I'm saying. I'm actually gonna think that this is real.
Riches.
Sorry about that, Alexis. You have one today's edition of pl.
You do get to choose who sings the song money Money Money by Abba.
Let's go Brook all right, Brook Money Money Money must be funny rich Man's work.
I feel like you just say that to yourself as you walk, but just brought me down.
Yeah, that was your shock Colar question of the day. We got your phone tap coming up in just a few minutes.
Freaking Jeffrey in the Morning.
Jose, you're probably the biggest traveler on our show. Oh yeah, man, it's brooking Jeffrey in the Morning. And you have TSA pre check, right, Yes, I do. So I'm curious, on a scale of one to ten, what's your snootiness level when you walk through there looking down on people standing in the regular line.
Well, I will say clear still walks past us, but I know I wave at him when I go back.
But there are many times where I do feel entitled, okay, or it's the worst one. Someone's in the line and they're like, sorry, you're not supposed to be in pre check, and then I'm like, oh my god, check you're boarding.
So we'll call that eight and a half out of ten. No one's gonna judge you for your elitism.
We pay eighty five dollars every five years for that elitism, so you deserve it.
Thank you.
The reason I bring it up, though, is because a study was done to determine is TSA pre check really worth it? Does it actually save you time?
I feel like I don't know.
Sometimes it's longer than the normal.
I've never longer.
They took into account all the major airports, the different times of day, busy season, easy season. They looked at it all, and how much time does pre check actually save you? Any guesses, I'm going to.
Say fifteen minutes.
I don't think it's a long air.
Which make or break my abiliity to the flight.
I'm going to be honest.
The answer is a whopping seven minutes. Really, the average person with pre check takes thirty six minutes to get through security compare to forty three minutes for everybody.
I think seven minutes is good. I know you guys are all saying it's bad, But like, if I'm like trying to beat traffic and I get home seven minutes before somebody else, I feel like a champion. Yeah you.
Off too.
So.
The poll also found the most stressful things about flying number one the TSA line, number two eying babies, and number three ending up in a middle seat.
Oh yeah, weird.
Nowhere on the list was mile high club performance anxiety. Obviously, these people do not live.
The life that I leave where it's the altitude's fault, not mine.
Go to the bathroom and you're like, I'm not ready yet.
I don't know ow over to this study. Obviously it's bogus. Let's get to the real good stuff with Lasers Stories. That's coming up next. It's the radio segment that's helping Granny and Grandpa save money with a new service called rented dent. Dentures are super expensive, so don't buy. Jump on the rentident app and find some within a mile of your house.
Someone else's mouth you're putting in your.
Mouth, Yeah, exactly, Rent them for a few hours during bingo night, then return them the next day.
What did you eat?
Why? Any teeth all the time? Jose, It's just that easy.
With Laser Stories, a segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser, as other TV Squeeze says, don't. This first laser story is out of the state that keeps on giving, Florida.
Yeah.
As far as McDonald's related crimes go, there's nothing more scandalous than Ronald McDonald being caught trespassing at a burger king.
Wow.
A shame. Shame is what he should feel.
Yeah, Well, that didn't happen, but this could make the list. A foty year old man named Christopher Marlowe was arrested for trespassing dressed as Ronald McDonald's.
That's smart.
You could be like, bro, I'll give you a free six piece McNugget if you just let me go.
You know, I'm always pro clown, but out of all of the good clowns of the world, Ronald is the creepiest. Yes, it's just maybe his height.
He's so tall. I don't know what.
It is like, Yeah, a little too eager to play with the kids.
Think about the message, Hey, I have food, delicious food.
He didn't see him ever juggle one thing.
You're right, Oh my god, not pulling his weight as a clown. But this one apparently was a bootleg costume, and ron was packing with an orange replica gun. He also had a backpack with multiple other clown outfits and a pack of ten red roses.
Romantic.
Ye, sorry, I read that wrong. It was a pack of ten red noses. Makes a little bit more sense.
Those things do fall off.
Yeah.
Anyway, it all went down at a shopping center. It's unclear what he was doing, but he trespassed there. Before and was well known to the police. Cops even called him by a nickname when they approached him, Ronnie McNugget.
That's a great nickname. Whatever, person, if the department came up with that a plus.
Give them a raise. A scuffle ensued, punches were thrown, and in the end, red noses were scattered everywhere.
That's kind of a funny scene.
To stumble upon it.
We always thought there was a Hamburgler that was the criminals.
Yeah, the Christopher was charged with resisting officers with violence, which is a felony. Yeah, and then well for him. This next Lazer story is out of Indiana. The tie Bistro and Bar was having a major issue. Their grease trap was overflowing, so they hired a company called Heavrin Plumbing to come out and deal with it.
Did you know there's like whole companies devoted to just cleaning out grease.
Yep.
It's oh yeah that once a month, I'll have people cleaned the pipes.
So someone from the company came out, cleared the clog, charged them two hundred and thirty five dollars, okay, and the restaurant paid.
It's like a pretty boring story. So far Joe.
Yeah, well, hold on book, because it's about to get weird. You're not going to believe this. But the pipe got clogged again three days later. But are you with you, hey, what's gonna happen?
Yeah?
So the plumber came back and cleared the pipe a second time. Interesting part is they charged them again, even more than the first time.
Oh come, this is dumb.
What is going on?
I'm on the edge of my seat jacket.
I knew he would be exactly. It was laid back comfortably.
It was three hundred and ninety dollars this time because it was an emergency and not during normal hours, makes sense, But the restaurant refused to pay, saying they should stand behind their work. So what happened. The exact same plumber came back the next day and intentionally reclogged it.
Oh my god, more plumbers should do that.
Chen.
He didn't have to get into the kitchen. He actually accessed the pipe from the outside installed a balloon in there so it couldn't drain.
Oh yeah, yeah.
The owner of the plumbing company claims the restaurant has a history of being slow to pay bills, so he wouldn't remove the balloon until they paid him yet and the kitchen would have overflowed, so they had no choice and coughed up the cash. They filed a complaint though, with the Better Business Bureau, and that's where the issue stands.
Oh yeah, that's gonna go really.
Far, Alexis. Don't yawn over there, it's really rude.
Get the sorry back to the plumber.
This is intense plumber grease trap drama.
Yawn. Okay, what do you think is in Jeff's algorithm?
Obviously?
Yeah, nothing bigger is happening in the world right now than this. Let's go to your next Lasuer story out of the love lobbies talking.
Yeah, got a.
Hot date this weekend. Here's a new tactic you shouldn't try. A reputable publication just did a big story on flood lighting. When you expose way too much about yourself too soon.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's actually sometimes when you click, it can backfire all of a sudden.
We're talking about our exes and it's like, wait, wait, wait, we shouldna be doing this.
Yes.
One expert says that a lot of times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability.
How does that protect it?
We put all our cards out.
I'll explain it in a second. But recently people have been doing it on purpose as a way to fast track a relationship or to see if a person is mature enough to quote handle them, Like, well, you can't.
You have to be immature to handling.
Yeah, But it's like somebody who always says.
I'm a lot.
Yeah.
Like, for example, here's why you.
Might be out on a date and say, Hey, I'm an only child, i hate my dad, I'm on a cleanse, i have a ton of debt, and technically I'm banned from three walmarts.
My perfect girl? Can you handle that?
This is the Vegas isn't ready for us?
They say you shouldn't do it because there's a chance you'll scare them off. Plus it's also not fair to dump so much on someone that you haven't formed a real connection with yet.
I feel like people who dump like that think that they're the only ones that have problems.
Yeah, yeah, save it till you're like in a serious relationship and they're trapped and they can't do anywhere.
Exactly jost tactics.
One expert said it's good to be open and honest about yourself, but phrase it like this. There's a difference between organically engaging and immediately waterboarding your date with your deepest trauma.
It's such a good description.
Speaking of trauma, this guy still deals.
With his Oh.
Back in twenty sixteen, he got stuck in a purple croc and EMTs had to use the jaws of life to rescue him. Imagine the nightmares.
Brook Tis, I don't know how he recovered him.
So lucky you are not him?
Yeah, I'm sure a red croc. Fine now again, No.
Good Lord. That means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again, same time on Wednesday.
Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Everyone in this room has a special talent that we try to highlight somewhere in our show. Yeah, and I use my golden pipes for my song of the week every Friday. Jose shows off his impression skills in our phone taps and Alexis does song. Alexis, what was your talent again?
What do I do? Hi?
You're fine, You're lovable.
I know I have one.
You're good at gossiping about coworkers behind their backs.
So fast.
We do the gossip behind the coworkers backside. Yeah, and then of course we have Brook. His greatest talent is knowledge of completely useless facts that no one would ever need to know.
I would like to thank my dad.
Yeah, he's the one I got, and it's coming hand. She's about to display her skills once again when we play trivia? Can you beat the Queen of random fun facts? Make sure everyone knows about it? Right after this, got a brand new player today. His name is Shane and he works for a credit union. Why does he love it? Because he says he gets to help people reach their financial dreams, which is pretty much what we do on the show whenever Brook loses. I mean, we basically have the same exact job Shane, except ours has a little bit more more, a little more toilet humor on our end. Although I don't know if you ever use that when people come into the credit Union. Do you ever say pull my finger for a higher credit line? Not yet, but it will, Yeah you should.
How many characters do you do, like in your character development? When I do phone tap characters, I mean, so what about you?
How many characters do you do at the drive through where they yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some voice impressions you know no voice impressions.
That one was pretty funny.
Yeah, I don't do impression such as clueless guy after credit union.
I love that.
That would be funny.
Dude, Man, we're gonna have you on the show to do a phone tab one of these days using that guy. Okay, wonderful every time, man, Shane, Dude, you're awesome. Now let's turn off that guy. We're gonna go to smart guy answering questions here because he got thirty seconds to answer as many as possible. If you don't know, and you could say pass, but you have to beat broke out right if you want to win. Are you ready?
Absolutely?
Good luck, my man. Your time starts now. The World's most Famous Arena is the nickname for what venue. How many holes are there on a standard golf course eighteen? The sphere is a major attraction that debuted in twenty twenty three, and what American city. What fictional character had a group that followed him labeled the Merry Men. I know this Rutted drone flowers are shaped like what stars, bells or pentagons?
Uh bell.
In the world of cuisine, anything with fish is called seafood. Anything with chicken is called what south of the border for that answer? Okay, Brook's coming back into the studio now. And Shane, we know you work at a credit union, but it says on my screen or that for fun you like to play with puppies and watch reality TV. Okay, so where do.
You find the puppies?
Well, one of my puppies was a rescue puppy.
And my other puppy's a It's ale.
What reality TV shows do you watch?
Race?
Brook loves Amazing Race Drag Race.
I know, no, he said Amazing Race too.
Oh the Race, Amazing Drag Race.
Are those two shows not combined?
Brilliant?
What a crossover though would be that?
That would be so great?
I love it.
Shane, you have great prank call voices, you have great ideas for reality TV shows. I think you're seriously in the wrong industry. Bro's contract?
Where's my contract?
We're going to tell our manager to write one up for you. But now we got to get to Brooks turn. Are you ready?
Brook?
Yes, your time starts now. The world's most famous arena is the nickname for what venue?
Uh pass?
How many holes are there on a standard golf course?
Eighteen?
The sphere is a major attraction that debuted in twenty twenty three in what American city.
Las Vegas.
What fictional character had a group that followed him labeled the Merry Men, Oh Robin hood. Rhododendron flowers are shaped like what stars, bells or pentagons stars. In the world of cuisine, anything with fish is called seafood. Anything with chicken is.
Called what chicken food?
Chicken really struggled on this last area that said times up. Let's go to the scoreboard with Jose.
You're teasing me, Jane.
Is that one of your impressions?
Yeah, you got three today, bron.
It is nice.
I'm a good store here.
I'm just hoping I tied him.
Also, it's pretty good. But they do go to the house on these Shanes. So let's go to the answers for everybody. The World's most Famous Arena. That's the nickname for Madison Square Garden.
It's tricky because you think arena, so you're thinking of anything with the name arena in it. That makes sense.
Yeah, it should be the world's most famous garden. Probably there are eighteen holes on a standard golf course. This fear is a major attraction in Las Vegas. The fictional character with a group of merry men who follow him around is Robin Hood. Yeah, rhododendron flowers are shaped like bells. And in the world of cuisine, anything with fish you call that seafood. If it's with chicken, you call it poultry.
Poultry, Oh, poultry.
Yeah when you hear it, So, Shane, it wasn't quite enough to win today, But just for playing, we are giving you a twenty five dollars Disney gift card, valid at any Disney resort, theme park, or online in the Disney store.
I'll take it.
Yeah, how would you rate your first experience with us?
Oh?
You guys are out of ten?
Wow.
Hey that's great.
Wow.
Hey, by the way on page you to say that, so I'll ven wi you.
Yeah.
I keep refreshing waiting.
It's coming for you man, Thanks for playing. Come back again soon. We're gonna do a phone tap right after.
This freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
You know, whenever you meet a new neighbor, you're just hoping they're a nice person who hopefully you can get along with. Share a power tool if you need it, I mean maybe, But never in your wildest dreams would you want your neighbor to be Jamie Button. That's the character Brooke plays today, and she's about to introduce herself to a new family as the fun new gal on the block.
I mean, if I don't like her and I am her, you'll.
Hear it in your phone. Tap right now?
Hello, Hey, their neighbor.
Who is this?
Oh?
You know this is Jamie Button?
Jamie Do I know you?
Of course, I'm your new neighbor getting corner to your house. Moved in last week.
Okay, Uh, yeah, nice to meet you.
So who wants a spicy mommog at ten am? Jamie Button does? You can't see, but I'm using two thongs to point to.
My Okay, that's that?
Yes?
Is that a yet?
Oh?
Is that?
Yes?
I got the blessed ready?
No, not for me?
Not for me?
Oh tomorrow ben huh? Or maybe this afternoon? You know what, Jamie Button's schedules wide open.
I'll have to check my my schedule right.
You know it's funny the other day you were getting in your car at eight seventeen am.
You know what I'm talking about.
That's the time I usually leave for work.
Is it, though?
Because the next day I tried leaving my house at the exact same time eight seventeen, so we could wave at each other. But but you didn't leave till late twenty. Isn't that a kicker?
I must late?
What's the humps crumps? You trying to avoid the old Jamie buttons? Well, too much sunshine for one morning for you. No, we're neighbors now, so maybe we can coordinate schedules so we can wave at each other same time every day.
Oh gosh, here's.
A Jamie button. Fun fact. I brush my teeth the same time you brush yours.
He is a man aquinket ink.
Wait, well, it's not because I planned it.
How do you know when I brush my teeth?
That's not the only thing I know. I notice you stretched before getting in your car every morning.
Wait?
What all these years?
No wonder my pelvis was so tight.
You're starting to make me feel uncomfortable here.
I don't even know you.
I know that you got Mexican food delivered on Tuesday and Thursday last week.
Oh my god.
What that's a sign of a strong gastro intestinal track.
That's what that is?
Okay, by Mexican on two different days, being the bathtub for a week.
This needs to stop. You need to listen to me, Jamie.
But I can't stop, because good neighbors watch out for each other and watch each other.
Oh, what you're.
Doing is creepy.
This is crossing the line.
Did you know that your Amazon package sat outside your door for fourteen minutes the thirty seven seconds yesterday?
Good lord?
I'm like, how much do you know about me?
Do not worry because Jamie Buttons guarded it for you.
I don't want you to guard my packages.
This is freaking me out.
By the way, neighbor, can I get an extra key for your house?
Absolutely not. Well, you see the thing is, I'd take the one hidden under that stone turtle. But I assume that you want that for emergencies. Do you know that?
Well?
I know that because when I was over there checking it out, I saw your husband, Jason tell that man to put his towel back on the rack after he's done with his showers. I could see his batuity.
Okay, I'm calling the police.
I just called nine one one over that tush too.
I am hanging up the phone.
I am calling the police.
Oh and by the way, when you talk to the police, can you tell him that your husband Jason is the one that set you up for this break phone call. What this isn't your new neighbor. This is Brook from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you. Oh my god, your husband Jason, he emailed the show and said he met the new neighbor and told you that they were kind of creepy.
Oh so yes, Oh my gosh, I thought you were actually my neighbor.
Oh you mean Jamie Buttons by the Quarterback Hunting best Gossip to Jamie Button. You're gonna get that on a bumper sticker.
You want one, yes, please, and a spicy mark.
All right, two such marks soda?
You know, pardon me?
Kind of one.
Jamie Button is my neighbor, Carora.
What you wish for.
The wake up every morning was fum tap weekday mornings on the twenties Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning.
There's one thing a guy can put in his dating profile pick that instantly will up his chances of getting a match by ninety percent.
Wow, it solid.
It's not that it must be a picture of his mom.
Oh no, you're getting catfish. I'm sorry. It's not a PlayStation controller.
I am sure, not even.
The new PS five one, which is obviously suits.
Cool because we don't totally know the different I almost took my shirt off you just saying.
Yeah, I'm sorry. But I will say it definitely worked on one of our listeners because she told us as soon as she saw this, she knew this was a guy worth getting to know. You're going to find out what it was in your brand new second date update.
It was a PSI.
No, it was after this second date update. Is it ever a good idea to talk about your other dates while you're on a date?
No?
I don't know.
If you're like commiserating insurance, yeah, stories back and forth.
I would say the short answer is no. The longer answer absolutely not, unless you plan to be on with us because we love to hear the dirt. And I'm just thankful that Jennifer, our listener is on the phone with us today because apparently she talked about her other dates on her date. Jennifer, I disagree. I admire your class. Welcome to the show.
Thank you.
It's not like she's talking about like her ex boyfriend that she's still in love with, right, Jennifer.
We don't know.
That's why I'm asking Jennifer.
Right, we were just sharing like funny stories.
Yeah, okay, well who are you sharing these stories with? What's this guy's name?
His name is Joshua Okay. I met him on the coffee and bagel app.
Oh is that still around?
I know about the Bengal and the candle app, but the coffee is.
A different means Bengal.
Yeah, I like that one. Okay.
He just looked cute. He had like a dog with him in his photo.
And okay, you know, actually I've heard that guys who have dogs in their photos get ninety more matches.
Way that makes sense.
Even can I borrow your dog?
Bro?
The whole point is that you can actually keep something alive and care for something outside of yourself. The attractive point of it.
Men, women are not gonna be able to tell if it's your dog and how well it's taken care of as long as it's in the photo. Just photoshop one in.
You're gonna know after date one, yeah, okay, or.
Put a little net brace on it like it is.
We're trying to do, is accomplish sick dog?
Dog sick?
They could you determine his dog's health from the photo, Jennifer.
It definitely looks like a healthy cute.
So this is what you're talking about right here. You I see what you're saying. Okay, you take us to the date with Joshua.
So I wanted to make the rest innovation. I said I would make it.
Is there a reason for that?
I just in particular, like I love food, I love.
Favorites.
Let me pick you like the certain tables, you like all the things.
Yeah, so I called and made a reservation. But when we got there, they had lost our reservation.
Oh no, no, yeah.
So I guess I should have made it online.
Did that like throw the night off? Did it make you upset?
I wasn't upset, like they apologized, but they were just like over books.
Oh no, that sounds like a popular restaurant.
I know there's only two of you. It's like, can you squeeze us in somewhere? Well, sit at the end of somebody else's table, No big deal.
Literally make a table in the.
Alley back behind the restaurant.
If I get the good food.
Jeff, Absolutely, it totally turned out to be a good thing because we ended up just wandering around the city and like we ended up getting burgers, at a takeout place and just talking about our bad date experiences.
Wait, you lumped this experience as to one of the many bad date experiences that you've gone on.
No, this was just like a little bump in the road compared to like one time this guy venmowed me like two dollars and forty seven cents for half of his appetizer.
Oh my goshno, requested you.
Wow.
Yeah, I was still the first time. Okay, okay, So you shared stories like that with him? Did he share stories back with you?
Joshua did so.
He said he had like a date who brought her mom and the mom was like critiquing his posture.
On the.
Straight.
Honey, I actually think that's some nice feedback.
You'd be doing that on the date told me you're slouching at.
So okay, Now this is a way to be like, you're actually way better than a lot of the dates that I go on. It's supposed to make him feel good.
Yes, Like we were having a great time, just like laughing a lot, and it was just like fun.
And anytime you have like a shared experience, whether it's like a bad date or anything, it can bring you closer to somebody. Yeah, no, I know, but they're both commiserating over the same thing.
Okay, y.
Gotcha.
So how long did this go on?
For?
Like a couple.
Hours and neither of us had like planned anything after, so he just like walked me back to my car. And I'm not used to like a short date like that, or.
It was just like you expected the date to go on longer.
Like did you want him to invite you back to his place? Like what are your expectations there?
I don't know about that. It's just like the vibe was so good he just didn't even attempt to do anything else.
Okay, that's a bar or something. Yeah, maybe it's just plain of cool, you know, like sometimes if you go out on top, you end it on a high note. Yeah, it obviously leaves you want anymore. So he did something right.
Yeah, he's playing it so cool that he's not even calling her back anymore.
So I guess that is cold.
Yeah, we're crazy, we're beyond the cool apart, and we just want to help you figure out what happened. Okay, Jennifer, maybe the burger was bad that he ate it wasn't all it was a street burger.
So.
Yeah, but it is risky, so let's just call him and we'll get your second date update right after this second date update. Our listener, Jennifer is the perfect example of when life gives you lemons, turn them into lemon drops.
Oh yeah, I don't think they. I mean or burgers.
Well yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever it is. Because her dinner reservation fell through the restaurant over books, so she took that and turned it do a fun night of wandering the city searching for street burgers and talking about previous bad dates that went even worse than this one. And her date Joshua shared his worst dates too, so it really actually bonded them together. But Jennifer, how long has it been since that night?
Yeah, it's been like a week okay, and you haven't heard anything.
No, And I've sent like some text messages and nothing radio silence.
Okay, so you're definitely being ignored.
Have you tried sending him a photo? Because if he doesn't respond to that, then you know you're in trouble.
Photo of what jack of anything?
Don't do that, Don't ever do that.
Don't listen to their advice.
You can you could send him a photo of me. No, if he's a fan of our show. He would definitely respond to that.
Think he's mad that she.
Was talking about other dates.
Now you want her sending pictures of other guys to him?
Jack, I'm just saying, if she does and he doesn't respond, then you really know something.
So that's the.
Final he knows before the picture. Jeff, Okay, she's not.
An idiot, Brooks saying we're not at rock bottom yet. Let's wait till this call happens and see where we end up today. Jennifer, any last words before I dial these numbers.
Or any last pictures, so, Jeff that you want to send either way, I just can't believe I have to do this.
Yeah, I have to do this.
We call us the last resort for people. That being said with jeffing in a weird mood.
You want to call back tomorrow.
This may not be a good call.
Well, we'll see, we'll find out.
We're here.
Let's just go through with it. How bad could it get? All right, let's do it. You tell us, I'll tell you about some of the worst second date updates we've ever done, and that'll make you feel better about it. Hold on, just okay, here we go. Hello, Hey, is this Joshua. Yeah, hey, man, this is a whole radio show is calling you right now. We're called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Good morning.
Uh, it came in real hot there, josh How are you doing.
It's Joshua. Oh.
Sorry, sorry, I'm married to a Michael who hates Mike.
I get it.
I apologize.
I'm sorry that my host is trying to make this segment all about her and her marriage.
But I understand.
Okay, we get it.
The real thing that we're interested in, though, Joshua, is you and the date that you went on the other night with one of our listeners named Jennifer. Okay, yeah, do you remember her? You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah?
I remember her. Yeah.
It sounds like you guys had a really fun night together.
Why do you know that?
Great question?
Oh yeah, because that's how this segment works. It's called second Date Update. And we spoke to her about your date and she's a little bit confused about why she's not getting a call back for a second meet up.
Really yeah she said that.
Yeah, yeah, she said that she had a great time with you. It sounds like you guys laugh together a lot. Yeah, is that not accurate?
No, it's accurate. She's like a really nice person, she's cute and everything.
But you Yeah, your words are saying nice things, but your tone is saying something else. Yeah, it's like, huh, wasn't very good.
I don't I don't think I know how to say this, but I just don't think I'm the right person for her, you know.
Uh uh, we don't know because she I mean, you don't get to decide that, right, that's what she gets to decide.
Gets to choose who you.
You don't get a choice.
That's her choice, right, And she obviously thinks that there's definitely something in between you two if she's calling us.
Yeah, definitely her choice.
Okay, is going on, like can we get your take on the date? But did you feel a connection with her?
I don't know, man, Like we're wanting different things.
I don't know if you know what she's she's like in what's called.
Stacking, stacking, like the cups thing where you do it in competition.
Yeah, Ann Kendrick song. Yeah, No, okay, we don't know what that is. Yeah, what is stacking?
She said she used to stack, which means like have three to four days tonight.
That sounds exhausty.
Yeah, is it back to back to back to back or all at the same time.
I don't think it was like at the same We didn't really get into it, but like I don't know. To me, I just think it's kind of rude to say, like, I'm miss stacking.
Oh she said she misses it.
Yeah, she literally said she misses it.
So I mean I.
Could see, like I would interpret that as, oh, you you wish that you were out with someone else right after me.
That was right good to hear.
I could understand that, and that's.
Why I took her to her car when we finished her burgers.
Is there any way kind of like misunderstood her.
No, I don't think I did.
He was like looking back at it fondly, and it was very real to her, and she was she very you could tell.
Okay, I totally understand that she's doing anything wrong, but it doesn't like she likes you a lot.
We kind of all see where you're coming from. I wonder if Jennifer sees it the same way, because she is on the other line listening to this.
Jennifer line with show right now.
I'm going to be mad right after us.
She's good at timing.
Hey, Joshua, I didn't think you would be so offended by what I said.
So you like you said this whole thing up, like you're on the phone here and you called.
Him Yeah, because I was so confused. I was like, I thought we had such a good time. But I guess it's because I said I missed tacking, which I was just I mean, that was just a one time in my life. Like, it's not something I do anymore.
I want the same thing you want, which.
Is a relationship. It was fun, it was a fun time.
It just feels like maybe that's a conversation you have with your like best friends.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds like someone who's never stacked before.
Thing, Because how.
Could you ever like be invested enough to find out if you were interested in someone, if you were just constantly thinking of the next person you were going to see.
I hear you guys talk about this all the time and book you said it's okay to date multiple people to find out who you like.
It that's true, that's contradictory to what your advice is. You said, get it in as many times as possible before it's gone forever.
I said, But I think, like dating lots of people is great. It's just like if you're gonna ask someone to give you their evening, you also have to invest not just being there, but like your presence, Like how can you be present?
You should have brought her presence, Dude.
I gave every guy I was with an hour and a half. I was fully present in the moment and I was not thinking about the next guy. I gave him that time fully.
I almost missed my next I mean it worked for her.
She had a boyfriend after that for years.
Yeah, I mean that's how you see a Jennifer. But clearly Joshua sees it a different way, right, josh I don't want to mess that up.
I see it like that's your default setting.
I think the anomaly is you having a long term relationship, and that's what I'm looking for.
That we're looking for the same things.
That's what I want. That's just something that's in the past. And by no means did I stack that night when you took me to my car. I was not seeing another person after you book.
God, she did not makes me think she did.
Yes, No, not that night, but the next five nights.
That's different.
You're supposed to be on my side.
You said dumb things on the date. I don't know. I mean, the thing is.
The thing is, Joshua, she's on the phone with us. She's put in a lot of effort to see you again. So I mean, maybe that's proof enough that she's over her old ways.
And that's why I would like to ask you, Joshua, if you'd be willing to meet up with Jennifer one more time, and we would pay for it, and the next date, and the next date and all the stack dates after that.
Forgot just you.
Though, No, I got the I'm sorry.
I can't fix that.
Oh no, okay, Joshua. Do you realize no one says no to me?
Oh God, that's not true anymore.
Yeah, fine, it's his choice whatever.
I'll just keep stacking.
Wait, the weekend said you didn't want to do that anymore.
All right, Well, it makes me happy, it's fun. I'm feeling sad now. It's going to get me out of fun.
Back to back to back.
To Yes, that's where true happiness comes from, Jeffrey in the morning. All right, So no second date there. Jennifer has hung up. She's not on the line with us anymore. But Jennifer, if you're listening out there, I just want to say, I know you're probably disappointed with one person on this show who didn't support you, but the rest of us here have your back.
I know you're looking at me, jeff Fault. She's like, I just really miss dating lots of men at the same night.
I mean, no one would feel special to that.
But you understand where she's coming from, right, Brooks.
I have never had multiple dates in one night. Wow, I could not pull that off.
Okay, remember to tell us how good of a liar she was, Brooke Unstackable is the definition at a time Fox, Yes, goodness is We've got dozens of guys on the textboard who are dts and down to stack whenever. So Jennifer, you stay positive. Yeah, yeah, we don't like to know that means that's weird. It don't happen for you, Jen And if you're into stacking videos, you can always watch a bunch of ours on YouTube. Got all of our second date updates on there. You can like, share and subscribe all of it. At brook and Jeffrey.
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
I'm not sure what was getting put into the vodka. Red Bulls out at the bar this past weekend. But something wild was happening because we got a whole new breed of people on our voicemail machine after this weekend. Yeah, I don't know if you would like to hear them, because the iconic nineteen seventies covered band that nobody asked for was on. There, a woman who goes week at the knees for one particular type of men's haircut, and maybe the world's most seductive robot.
Well now I'm back in Jack.
I don't even begin to describe the madness that you're about to hear during a brand new loser line coming up right after this.
You, is this the right number?
It's the loser line.
Goody, just call me.
Back if you haven't heard the loser line before. It works like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you. Hi, there, are you a zero percent APR loan?
I sound sexy?
I only say it because I'm having trouble understanding your term. Then you're showing low interest. I think that's a good Whatever you do, don't rip off his sweater vest and use it to Weggie instead tell him he's kind of hunky in a Sheldon from Big Bangs sort of way.
Oh thanks, sorry, I was watching Young Shelton.
A punkable man, and that's when you give them the number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls and leads an offward voicemail that we can play on the air. Voicemails like this one.
Hey, this is from the poetry reading the other night. I I really hope I didn't like offend you or anything when I said you'd make a great Native American cheap I know, I know that you're Asian, and yeah, just look where we really need a Native American guy to finish off our Village People tribute band. So you mentioned you played some instruments, but you haven't answered any of my messages, so that's just why I'm kind of like checking in again. So but also, I don't know, maybe you're worried about the whole like y MCA thing and the whole stereotype about that, but straight people do it too, so just the way for us guys to have fun and kind of like grow out whatever anyway you think about it. So first practice is next Wednesday, and hopefully you can come and you.
Know, I'll give you like a.
Big bro buttlap to welcome you into the group.
Yeah, I bet you will.
All the bros we all get together and do our village People stuff.
It's amazing how many ways that man could be offensive.
Yeah, okay, I get that, but I do feel his pain. It's tough when you got four fifths of the Village People cover band and you can't find that final piece.
Yea, that ruins your year.
And the Indian Chief would be the hardest to find.
We're not no one will notice someone's gone.
Yeah okay, Derek.
I forgot to ask you the other night, what's your love language? Because you know there's five different ones words of affirmation, physical touch cards, and gives practical help.
Mine mine is the mullet's holy.
Then why I asked you out?
I just love I would love to run my fingers through your hair.
I mean, I just I.
Just want call it, you know, I just want I just grab you and just pull you quote at the back of your mulley.
Had well, pony, and maybe we can get to pulling next week.
If mullets are her love language, you should go to that YMC cover band show. I mean, none of them, but I'm sure the people who go do okay.
Fine, But look, hey guys, look, speaking of business in the front and party in the back, have you.
Ever been to our YouTube page?
Is there a business?
Well, we don't have a ton of mots featured aka Kentucky Waterfalls aka and Mississippi mud Flaps, but what we do have is engaging, highbrow content, prank calls, no second, and of course the loser line clips as many as you can swallow.
Mullet page is sounding better and better.
Yeah, listen to them while your girlfriend pulls on your beaver paddle. It's another name for mullets.
Like.
There's a lot of fun on there. Go check it out. Now, let's get back to the clips.
Hey, Sarah, that guy you were helping in the self checkout, thank you so much. I was really embarrassed just standing there not knowing what to do, and then you gave me your number, which was awesome because I think we could have a really great time if we went out. So I feel like I feel like I really have to apologize. That's not that's not something I usually do. You know, I usually have more control than that, you know what I mean? That burrito I had for breakfast that morning was not sitting well and it escaped a little bit. And I apologize. You were so kind right after I let that loud one rip you after like you didn't hear it. And I'm not going to go back and get burritos to that place again, But if you want to, you and I could get nachos for lunch somewhere. Give me a call.
Next message, Oh my, yes, I know, let's go to the broccoli factory.
I know.
You asked for the number before or after this happened.
To call after the fact of that incident.
Yeah, it's called extreme confidence in a bad way.
Next message, Greetings, Kendra, you are getting a call from He's excited that you are initiating a romantic encounter. Your hotness has been confirmed. We congratulations you are now dating. If you'd like to go out for Italian, please press one. If you would like to skip straight to for play, please press two. If you would like to break up with Corey, please press nine. But does not give up easy. You have been warned have a positive emotion. They call termin They did.
I can't believe a robot was the sexiest loser line message that we got this set.
It's creative, it's unique, and it was genuinely cute.
He never broke.
I'm wondering if he lives like that in real life.
Can I please have your number? That wouldn't work.
I don't know that that was the first time he did.
That, but I'm definitely punching that too. Button skipping right to the four place.
A robot who's willing to give you a little love anyway.
Listen to lose a line regularly at this time every week, and make sure you subscribe to the Brook and Jeffrey TikTok where you can hear your favorite loser lines right there.
Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
We've got a return player today. Her name is Patience, and it's kind of ironic that that's her name because she recently was a patient in the hospital after getting emergency surgery. The luckily producer Boyd called her. She got up off that operating table and told the surgeons, sew me up later. I've got to play more trivia against Brooke today.
Get one hand in her phone and one that's right.
Patience, That failing kidney can wait. Welcome back to the show.
Thank you, I'm glad to be back.
Go sound great after all that anesthesia can really have emergency surgery or something.
What's going on? Randomly?
I had to get my gallbladder taken out.
Luckily it's not important to have that.
Would you do with it? Did you keep it?
Oh?
No, they wouldn't let me. I asked, they.
Should let you bring it home and like display it on like the mantle as a souvenir at least for something.
A show all my dates up there?
Yeah?
Uh huh, you want to see another organ?
Oh god, the hit the button. One of the button patients were going into dangerous territory here, So we better get to the game. You got thirty seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke outright if you want to win. Are you ready?
Yeah?
Your time starts now. Christopher Walkin celebrates a birthday today. Is he in his seventies or eighties? Eighties? What's the name of the dangly thing in the back of your throat? According to the National Highway and Safety Commission, it's not recommended to keep your hands at ten and two anymore. Now, it's what nine and three? What Parker Brother board game has cards with infantry, cavalry, and artillery on it. Rick. The Model T was the first mass produced automobile made by what company?
Ford?
What's the term for a male cat?
I should know that, but I don't.
You don't know the answer to every question ever, Patients, How dare you?
I guess not?
Oh?
No, you did great work there. Brook's coming back in the studio here, And rumor has it that Patients might be traveling to Italy this summer. Oh, patients, are you going there for just the food or for the men too?
I have a friend.
Who lives in Italy?
So did you use their quotes when you said friends?
Patience?
No, No, she's a friend that I played volleyball in college.
Oh yeah, I played a lot of volleyball at my friend if you know the yes, all right, she's not Patience is officially freaked out.
Yeah, why do we make everything weird?
I don't know.
Yah, Patients, you're a good sport for returning back to the show so many times. But now it's Brooks turn. Are you ready?
Yes?
Your time starts now. Christopher Walkin celebrates a birthday today is he in his seventies or eighties, eighties. What's the name of the dangly thing in the back.
Of your throat you've leah.
According to the National Highway and Safety Commission, it's not recommended to keep your hands at ten and two anymore. Now it's what I.
Think it's down below? So five? And what's there? Seven?
What Parker? Parker Brother board game has cards with infantry, cavalry and artillery on it.
Smith day, Is that right?
We'll find out.
In just a second. Brook. You can keep air motioning steering wheels.
You can figure out where the clock was and where my hands I like to.
Hold him low. Wow, you're so fun. It's in a bad spot. Let's go to the scoreboard with Jose. You need help with you?
Yeah, underwear out, then my back?
Okay a child, patience, You've got four correct today?
You know it was one?
Yeah?
And way?
Brook, you are right, no way, you only got two?
I do what A thought all this time your gallbladder was holding you back from winning?
That was it?
That's amazing, well done. Let's go over the answers for everybody. Christopher walk And celebrates a birthday. He's in his eighties, turning eighty two today. Wow, the dangling thing in the back of your throat, that's called the uvula because you were.
Yeah, that's right. Jay didn't want to give it to you, but I was nice away.
According to the National Highway and Safety Commission, you're not supposed to keep your hands at ten and two anymore. It's a little bit down nine and three, not uneath the wheels. Bros.
Like, Yeah, one handed.
Nine and three is the proper way to do it. They changed it in twenty twenty two.
Good job getting that right, Patients.
You'd find infantry, cavalry, and artillery cards on the Parker brother board game Risk Yeah game. The Model T was first mass produced automobile made by the Ford Company, and the term for a male cat Patients, it's a Tom Tom tomomcat. Yes, Patients, Congratulations, you beat Brook. You get one hundred bucks plus just for playing. You're also winning a pair of fan Dango tickets to a Minecraft movie starring Jason Momoa and Jack Black, Embark On a Magical Quest, starting April fourth, only in theaters and imax.
It is hard to tell the difference between Jack Black and Jason Momola when they're next to each other.
Yeah, in Minecraft mode.
Yeah.
Congratulations patients awesome, Thank you guys so much.
Hey, and have fun in Italy.
Okay, I will well, I'll see if I make it there, but if I do, then I definitely will come.
Back and play again soon. We're gonna do Windbrooks Bucks same time tomorrow, Brooke
And Jeffrey in the morning.